₦airaland Forum

I am seeking advice from anyone that know about immigration matters here.

M marriage is at the stage of divorce. Three years ago, I wanted to travel with my husband and kids to the US, but it didn't work out due to financial reasons. Meanwhile, I already started the process and got passports for all of us.
Now that we are about to part ways, my husband is requesting to have the kids international passports. I wanted to give him at first, but when I saw the way he was threatening to deal with me if I don't give him the passports before the divorce, I became scared of making another mistake I might regret later.

What do you guys think? Please fam, skip the insults and advise a confused woman.

Why must you give him? The chances of given the children a viable future will be limited. Now that the opportunity is there pls,do all you can to take them along with u.Nevertheless, you didn't tell us reasons for your separation, sometimes women could be wonderful,l hope its not a case of another man given you a signal in the other side.? In most cases, immigration would want to see the father consent letter for the kids at the airport.

techgurl12:
I am seeking advice from anyone that know about immigration matters here.

M marriage is at the stage of divorce. Three years ago, I wanted to travel with my husband and kids to the US, but it didn't work out due to financial reasons. Meanwhile, I already started the process and got passports for all of us.
Now that we are about to part ways, my husband is requesting to have the kids international passports. I wanted to give him at first, but when I saw the way he was threatening to deal with me if I don't give him the passports before the divorce, I became scared of making another mistake I might regret later.

What do you guys think? Please fam, skip the insults and advise a confused woman.

I'm sorry you're going through this difficult situation, as an individual who have counselled a lot of women and dealt with immigration, I often come across cases like yours and I will be frank with you. Lets start with the following questions.

Has your divorce been finalized and a custody arrangement drawn up? Who is going to be in charge of the kids post divorce? Will you be having a 100% custody?

Have you applied for the visa and gotten approval? Which state are you guys resident in Nigeria?

I will be frank with you, you will not be able to take the kids abroad without his consent except you are able to provide a court documents that gives you 100% custody.

Should you attempt to take the kids against their father's consent, he can file a kidnapping charge against you in the courts and , local embassy and you will be deported even if you have a foreign citizenship. I have advice men to file similar charges in the past.

This is not the time for you to be confused, you need to work with a good lawyer who can get you a clean divorce and 100% custody for the children and who has their international passport mean very little in the long run.

If you you have any further questions about your situation, ask here and I will try to answer if time permits.

Sp1ritHusband:
I am sorry that you have to pass through this stage, as an individuals who have counselled a lot of women and dealt with immigration, I often come across cases like yours and I will be frank with you. Lets start with the following questions.

Has your divorce been finalized and a custody arrangement drawn up? Who is going to be in charge of the kids post divorce? Will you be having a 100% custody?

Have you applied for the visa and gotten approval? Which state are you guys resident in Nigeria?

I will be frank with you, you will not be able to take the kids abroad without his consent except you are able to provide a court documents that gives you 100% custody.

Should you attempt to take the kids against their father's consent, he can file a kidnapping charge against you in the courts and , local embassy and you will be deported even if you have a foreign citizenship. I have advice men to file similar charges in the past.

This is not the time for you to be confused, you need to work with a good lawyer who can get you a clean divorce and 100% custody for the children and who has their international passport mean very little in the long run.

If you you have any further questions about your situation, ask here and I will try to answer if time permits.

No, the divorce has not been legalized. I live in Benin.
I have not reapplied for Visa yet

"and who has their international passport mean very little in the long run." Thank you for clarifying this. I thought possession of the passports is all that matter.
So, I can give him the passports in peace. Except that I might have trouble getting it back when I need them. I also know I will have custody of the kids because he can barely take care of himself. He wouldn't want them.

techgurl12:
I am seeking advice from anyone that know about immigration matters here.

M marriage is at the stage of divorce. Three years ago, I wanted to travel with my husband and kids to the US, but it didn't work out due to financial reasons. Meanwhile, I already started the process and got passports for all of us.
Now that we are about to part ways, my husband is requesting to have the kids international passports. I wanted to give him at first, but when I saw the way he was threatening to deal with me if I don't give him the passports before the divorce, I became scared of making another mistake I might regret later.

What do you guys think? Please fam, skip the insults and advise a confused woman.

Get the divorce first.
Let him know he is free to make new passports for them. If he is the one that paid for the kid's passports for peace sake declare the passports lost, make new ones, After you receive the new ones, give him the old passports.
Please if that man is not a p.ae.do.phile give him the kids. Taking care of kids abroad is not a walk in the park. Let him have the burden of bringing them up while they are young.
Kids of these days tend to gravitate towards the parent that has dual citizenship - the one that can offer them a better life.
You can always file for them to come over after you have established yourself in the US. There is no way that they will reject a life in the US for Nigeria.
Good luck!

techgurl12:
➜ I am seeking advice from anyone that know about immigration matters here.
M marriage is at the stage of divorce. Three years ago, I wanted to travel with my husband and kids to the US, but it didn't work out due to financial reasons. Meanwhile, I already started the process and got passports for all of us.
Now that we are about to part ways, my husband is requesting to have the kids international passports. I wanted to give him at first, but when I saw the way he was threatening to deal with me if I don't give him the passports before the divorce, I became scared of making another mistake I might regret later.
What do you guys think? Please fam, skip the insults and advise a confused woman.

Do not hand your children's passport over to anyone or else your story will likely end up regretting it just as it did for many before you.

Please, make time to read up on this story https://www.nairaland.com/7899243/nigerian-man-stranded-after-wife#126771224. It is of a woman who made the mistake of letting her husband have her children's passports. He took the kids hostage and she was unable to see them until she was able to get him a way to travel over to the UK. Fortunately, she had a plan in place.

techgurl12:
No, the divorce has not been legalized. I live in Benin.
I have not reapplied for Visa yet

"and who has their international passport mean very little in the long run." Thank you for clarifying this. I thought possession of the passports is all that matter.
So, I can give him the passports in peace. Except that I might have trouble getting it back when I need them. I also know I will have custody of the kids because he can barely take care of himself. He wouldn't want them.

Do not give the passports if there might be problems getting them back since he may simply claim to have misplaced them.

Your first step is to file your divorce in a high court in Benin and in the divorce stating the grounds for divorce requesting for sole custody of the children. Do not let your husband know about your travel plans because he could make matters difficult for you through the children.

Only after the court has granted SOLE custody before you can include the kids in your application otherwise, you will have to carry him along and obtain his consent in writing before travelling.

Desusi:
➜Why must you give him? The chances of given the children a viable future will be limited. Now that the opportunity is there pls,do all you can to take them along with u. Nevertheless, you didn't tell us reasons for your separation, sometimes women could be wonderful,l hope its not a case of another man given you a signal in the other side.? In most cases, immigration would want to see the father consent letter for the kids at the airport.

What does it matter about her particular reason for separation? She is a free being and is able to leave even a marriage whenever she is tired. If she desires another man, the law allows her to leave one man to get the next. So, what do you have against her exercising her right to exit a marriage when she wants to? 🤔

-

Well, I was told recently that passports can be replaced, especially if they are fresh passports.

Go to court and file for sole custody. You can replace the passports as they're fresh with no visas.

Because if you don't, like the first reply said, he can accuse you of Child Abduction.

The court here will look at your finances, ages and sexes of the kids and well-being of the kids. So get a good lawyer and prepare your documents.

Once you get sole custody, you can travel or better yet, travel first and then establish yourself and come get your kids.

If he wants the passports, he should request them in writing. When it comes to high conflict divorces, it is best to have everything documented. Because one party will be making up stories to suit their narratives and will be so convincing with the lies, only God and evidence can stop them.

Hmmmmmmm
Dicey situation
🤔 💭

These things make me confused about marriage.
So after 3 kids and years of living together, then an irreconcileable difference suddenly surface... What about both of your families? Why aren't they counseling and meditating between the two of you?

Since you got the passport yourself with your funds, there is nothing he can do.

techgurl12:
No, the divorce has not been legalized. I live in Benin.
I have not reapplied for Visa yet

"and who has their international passport mean very little in the long run." Thank you for clarifying this. I thought possession of the passports is all that matter.
So, I can give him the passports in peace. Except that I might have trouble getting it back when I need them. I also know I will have custody of the kids because he can barely take care of himself. He wouldn't want them.

Don't give him the passports, focus on sorting out the divorce and the custody of the children in court.

GasAndOilTheory:
These things make me confused about marriage.
So after 3 kids and years of living together, then an irreconcileable difference suddenly surface... What about both of your families? Why aren't they counseling and meditating between the two of you?

It is obvious that the wife is the one who wanted out due to the current financial status of the husband. Her statement quoted below clarifies this. Therefore, no one can mediate their differences because the mind of one of the parties to get out of the union is made up!!

I also know I will have custody of the kids because he can barely take care of himself. He wouldn't want them.

techgurl12:
I am seeking advice from anyone that know about immigration matters here.

M marriage is at the stage of divorce. Three years ago, I wanted to travel with my husband and kids to the US, but it didn't work out due to financial reasons. Meanwhile, I already started the process and got passports for all of us.
Now that we are about to part ways, my husband is requesting to have the kids international passports. I wanted to give him at first, but when I saw the way he was threatening to deal with me if I don't give him the passports before the divorce, I became scared of making another mistake I might regret later.

What do you guys think? Please fam, skip the insults and advise a confused woman.

Do you intend to run away with his kids to US thereby denying the father access to his kids

What is your intention or plan?

I understand your concern, and I'll provide guidance on Nigeria immigration matters.

Key Points to Consider
1. Passport ownership: Nigerian international passports are issued to individuals, not parents or guardians. The passports belong to the children, not you or your husband.
2. Child custody: Since you're getting a divorce, child custody will likely be determined by the court. The court may decide who controls the passports during the divorce proceedings.
3. Passport control: In Nigeria, parents or guardians are typically required to provide consent for minors (children under 18) to travel. If you're concerned about your husband's intentions, you may want to consider seeking a court order to restrict travel or control the passports.

Recommendations
1. Seek legal advice: Consult with a Nigerian lawyer specializing in family law and immigration matters. They can provide guidance on your rights, the divorce process, and child custody.
2. Secure the passports: Keep the passports in a safe and secure location, such as a locked cabinet or a safety deposit box.
3. Communicate with your lawyer: Inform your lawyer about your husband's threats and requests. They can help you navigate the situation and protect your interests.
4. Consider a court order: If you're concerned about your husband's intentions or the safety of your children, consider seeking a court order to restrict travel or control the passports.

Additional Resources
1. Nigerian Immigration Service: Visit the official website of the Nigerian Immigration Service (NIS) for information on passport requirements, child travel, and custody laws.
2. Nigerian Family Law: Familiarize yourself with Nigerian family law, particularly the Child Rights Act and the Marriage Act.

Remember to prioritize your safety and the well-being of your children. Seek professional advice, and don't hesitate to reach out to authorities or support services if you feel threatened or intimidated.

https://olamideoyetayolegal.com/sole-custody-of-a-child-in-nigeria-2/

I understand your concern, and I'll provide guidance on Nigeria immigration matters.

Key Points to Consider
1. Passport ownership: Nigerian international passports are issued to individuals, not parents or guardians. The passports belong to the children, not you or your husband.
2. Child custody: Since you're getting a divorce, child custody will likely be determined by the court. The court may decide who controls the passports during the divorce proceedings.
3. Passport control: In Nigeria, parents or guardians are typically required to provide consent for minors (children under 18) to travel. If you're concerned about your husband's intentions, you may want to consider seeking a court order to restrict travel or control the passports.

Recommendations
1. Seek legal advice: Consult with a Nigerian lawyer specializing in family law and immigration matters. They can provide guidance on your rights, the divorce process, and child custody.
2. Secure the passports: Keep the passports in a safe and secure location, such as a locked cabinet or a safety deposit box.
3. Communicate with your lawyer: Inform your lawyer about your husband's threats and requests. They can help you navigate the situation and protect your interests.
4. Consider a court order: If you're concerned about your husband's intentions or the safety of your children, consider seeking a court order to restrict travel or control the passports.

Additional Resources
1. Nigerian Immigration Service: Visit the official website of the Nigerian Immigration Service (NIS) for information on passport requirements, child travel, and custody laws.
2. Nigerian Family Law: Familiarize yourself with Nigerian family law, particularly the Child Rights Act and the Marriage Act.

Remember to prioritize your safety and the well-being of your children. Seek professional advice, and don't hesitate to reach out to authorities or support services if you feel threatened or intimidated.[/quote]

https://olamideoyetayolegal.com/sole-custody-of-a-child-in-nigeria-2/

It is obvious that the wife is the one who wanted out due to the current financial status of the husband. Her statement quoted below clarifies this. Therefore, no one can mediate their differences because the mind of one of the parties to get out of the union is made up!![/quote]

So Deeper Lifers are allowed to be lawyers?🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

Sp1ritHusband:
Do not give the passports if there might be problems getting them back since he may simply claim to have misplaced them.

Your first step is to file your divorce in a high court in Benin and in the divorce stating the grounds for divorce requesting for sole custody of the children. Do not let your husband know about your travel plans because he could make matters difficult for you through the children.

Only after the court has granted SOLE custody before you can include the kids in your application otherwise, you will have to carry him along and obtain his consent in writing before travelling.

Do NOT give him. Get legal protection

Samantha125:
So Deeper Lifers are allowed to be lawyers?🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

Deeper lifers are still allowed to be lawyers na. Lol

Sp1rithusband was blocked by a mod until December 28.

Merry Christmas and take care of your husband.

techgurl12:
I am seeking advice from anyone that know about immigration matters here.

M marriage is at the stage of divorce. Three years ago, I wanted to travel with my husband and kids to the US, but it didn't work out due to financial reasons. Meanwhile, I already started the process and got passports for all of us.
Now that we are about to part ways, my husband is requesting to have the kids international passports. I wanted to give him at first, but when I saw the way he was threatening to deal with me if I don't give him the passports before the divorce, I became scared of making another mistake I might regret later.

What do you guys think? Please fam, skip the insults and advise a confused woman.

If your husband is requesting for thr children passports alone, then it means he is about filling for them and you are not part of thr processing

It seems you and your husband are having issues and for thr fact that he is in USA, it will be difficult for you to get there as a family without his enforcement

If you are thr one causing problems, it's time to drop it off and start making moves fir a good relationship

Because over there in USA, he has a big chances of starting another family due to your misunderstanding with him and he doesn't mind to wait till the children gets to 18yrs and above then he will convince them to visit him as adult

Then if thr problem of thr marriage is from your husband, honestly you just have to keep tolerating it till you are able to get to USA then you can do whatever you want, either to obey him and stay peaceful with him or disobey him and pull out of thr marriage

But the fact remains that you guys have to make peace

No marriage is sweet they all have bitter taste

Wow!!! This is interesting... ... Lawyers are often perceived as stubborn liers who argue all the time, I didn't know that Deeper Life would accept people with such careers as it seems very conservative.

Imagine representing a suspected serial killer during weekdays and winning the case, then going to the Deeper Life church on a Sunday to give testimony of how you won the case and the suspect is now roaming the streets freely...

How dare the mods ban our spirit filled Sp1ritHusband with a lovely wife at home...

Nnamdipapa:
Deeper lifers are still allowed to be lawyers na. Lol

Sp1rithusband was blocked by a mod until December 28.

Merry Christmas and take care of your husband.

[quote author=Samantha125 post=133447078]Wow!!! This is interesting... ... Lawyers are often perceived as stubborn liers who argue all the time, I didn't know that Deeper Life would accept people with such careers as it seems very conservative.

Imagine representing a suspected serial killer during weekdays and winning the case, then going to the Deeper Life church on a Sunday to give testimony of how you won the case and the suspect is now roaming the streets freely...

How dare the mods ban our spirit filled Sp1ritHusband with a lovely wife at home...

I think it depends on the kind of law you practice. A prosecuting attorney is always is always bringing criminals to Justice while a defending attorney defends criminals.

We always asked the question in the church whether a Christian can join the military, go to war and kill as the Bible says, "Thou shall not kill'

Anyways, I don't think the church has any business in members career choice as criminals are still entitled to legal representation.

I once had a lecturer who was both a defence lawyer and a pastor... According to him, after every court proceedings, he'd get down on his knees and ask God for forgiveness...😂😂😂[quote author=Nnamdipapa post=133456455][/quote]

Samantha125:
I once had a lecturer who was both a defence lawyer and a pastor... According to him, after every court proceedings, he'd get down on his knees and ask God for forgiveness...😂😂😂

Hahahahah. No forgiveness required as he was only doing his job. Reasons I stopped going to church, they mess with your mind and make you feel guilty about everything.
My pastor said I could not work in a brewery company as a Christian. I lost an Important job with Guiness in Kenya.

I don't do religion anymore especially any religion foreign to African culture. We are being re-colonized with their religion.

Well, he must've been feeling bad for doing his job since he was also a pastor.

On Sunday he'll be shouting "thou shall not kill", but come Monday, he'll be helping a convicted murderer to appeal his case...😂😂😂

Nnamdipapa:
Hahahahah. No forgiveness required as he was only doing his job. Reasons I stopped going to church, they mess with your mind and make you feel guilty about everything.
My pastor said I could not work in a brewery company as a Christian. I lost an Important job with Guiness in Kenya.

I don't do religion anymore especially any religion foreign to African culture. We are being re-colonized with their religion.

Samantha125:
Well, he must've been feeling bad for doing his job since he was also a pastor.

On Sunday he'll be shouting "thou shall not kill", but come Monday, he'll be helping a convicted murderer to appeal his case...😂😂😂

Hahahah. He will be seriously conflicted
I see where you are coming from.

Can you send me an email? I might have some people available who can aid and guide you.

Samantha125:
Wow!!! This is interesting... ... Lawyers are often perceived as stubborn liers who argue all the time, I didn't know that Deeper Life would accept people with such careers as it seems very conservative.

Imagine representing a suspected serial killer during weekdays and winning the case, then going to the Deeper Life church on a Sunday to give testimony of how you won the case and the suspect is now roaming the streets freely...

How dare the mods ban our spirit filled Sp1ritHusband with a lovely wife at home...

As a lawyer, you are not under compulsion to take up a case or lie. You are under any force to defend a criminal. It is all about choices.

GasAndOilTheory:
These things make me confused about marriage.
So after 3 kids and years of living together, then an irreconcileable difference suddenly surface... What about both of your families? Why aren't they counseling and meditating between the two of you?

Since you got the passport yourself with your funds, there is nothing he can do.

My brother that is marriage for u ..

Person no dey use am make mouth because no one knows whose home will break next 🤔

It's only the grace of God that make it work oooo
Have seem stories of 30years in marriage and later divorced again 😢😭

So what else 🤔

Stevenbright:
It is obvious that the wife is the one who wanted out due to the current financial status of the husband. Her statement quoted below clarifies this. Therefore, no one can mediate their differences because the mind of one of the parties to get out of the union is made up!!

Imagine so men should be prepared and marry beyond love in marriage . 🤔
.the man actually married her due to love and affection but now I guess d wife is doing better than d man hence moving to file a divorce and take custody of the children in overseas 😭😭😭😭

Make God help us oo