₦airaland Forum

Pay no mind to the insults you are getting here for being angry with your dad, you are not a mamas boy, to hell with whoever that is insulting you here. I understand your pain and how you feel pity for your mom but kindly take my advice pls;

Do not make the mistake of reporting your dad, it will not change anything but might scatter your peaceful home. Just clean the room and pls do not report or confront your dad.
I have no advice on how to deal with the issue on stopping him because he is a man, just don't confront or report him.

ChizzyBuna:
So my parents are in village for christmas.
Coming from lagos to visit for xmas
I decided to visit our house in town where our family lives. Before going to meet them in village

What i found in my fathers room shocked me


Condom packets that were not prpperly thrown away.

Ky gel found open on the table
For those that don't know Ky gel is lubricant for sex.

This is enough proof this man is cheating.
Should i repirt him to my mum??

Go and report to your mom and ready for the implications good or bad
Since you don't want to listen to the people advice

[quote author=ChizzyBuna post=133464505]If your father dey sleep around with all these gen z girls.
You will be clalping for him
As a useless son you are to your mother.
You mean you will support your dad cheating on your mother??.

Ohhh!!! STFU!!!.
In your small relationship thus far, how faithful have you been?.
FYI, All men are wired to have multiple sexual partners...and were doing just fine until christianity came and we copied monogamy...which we have had troubles with forever.
Learn boy!!....and keep your filthy mouth shut!!!.

ChizzyBuna:
So my parents are in village for christmas.
Coming from lagos to visit for xmas
I decided to visit our house in town where our family lives. Before going to meet them in village

What i found in my fathers room shocked me


Condom packets that were not prpperly thrown away.

Ky gel found open on the table
For those that don't know Ky gel is lubricant for sex.

This is enough proof this man is cheating.
Should i repirt him to my mum??

If you don't want a broken home or a kind of division or divorce, don't do it. I would advise that you mind your business. Let your mum find out herself. Don't be the reason for any misunderstanding in the home.

ChizzyBuna:
my mother was the first that went to village to clean and get our village house ready.

Meanwhile my dad excuse for not joining her was that he has some workers his trying to settle their salary before going to village for christmas

Meaning he arrived village 24th night while my mum had been in village since 21st december.

Clearly my p man use that excuse to knack...SMH
Only God will judge that man!!

Now i just arrive the house in town and this man had the audacity to not even dispose the condoms
3 Beer bottles litrerd on the floor
Asin i just dey regret entering his room. I no fit look that man the same again

This your infantile comments shows you are not yet grown irrespective of your age.

olabrad:
You are a cursed fool that places his mother above his father. You are really cursed. Wait until you get married and we will.see whether you'll cheat on your wife or not.

Idiot senseless fool.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Nairalanders dey give me joy

---

The bold is true tho. Until young men marry and have children, they would know what it's to be married.

ChizzyBuna:
So the fact that he is a good provider means he is allowed to sleep around like goat??

Imagine if it is your own father
Will you be saying this nonesense

First, do our own growing and be a man. Then you will know what is involved. Your father is his own man. You will become your own man one day, hopefully. If you end up doing the same thing as your father currently does, then you will understand life's full cycle. I'm not excusing your father. Who am I to do that or to judge him? Talk to your father, instead of telling on him to your mother in simp fashion. If you compare your father to a goat now, and then if you end up not doing differently from him in future, to what will you compare yourself? You may not know it, but mostly people don't decide from childhood that they will cheat on their partners in future. Life simply happens, taking cognizance of circumstances. You too may proclaim now that you will NEVER cheat on your spouse in future. Wait until then, though. If you don't in the end, good for you. But what if, well, you do eventually? Then what happens? Your son should tell his mother if he catches you doing it? Or he should "understand" and wisely talk to you about it? Now to the other part? What if you tell your mother and then all hell breaks loose, your whole family rhythm is destabilized, and then you find out, to your greatest shock, that your own mother had once (or more) before been caught cheating by your father? I'm just assuming. The bottom line is, take it easy. Talk to your father about it and even suggest to him that his action has painted him in a different light, in your mind, and that you may be pushed to telling your mother about it if he does it again. Just ... talk to your father. Your father is an African man who is at liberty to decide to marry another wife. Like I said earlier, he is his own grown man who has kept the family even before you came around through him.

Smilleydr:
waiting dey pain me be say you carry this matter come nairaland and Nairalander dey advice you but you come still dey proof your stupidity here, oga comont go settle your family problem and leave us alone.

You even get time to type..
They're the foolish people that have a particular reply they're expecting from others to validate their assumptions. Once you don't reply as thy expect, it's insults and curses remain.

Abeg OP, Don't bother to take any of the advice given by all and sundry on this issue. You are wiser than everybody. So go ahead and tell your mom jare. Nothing go happen.

Just use your mouth to open the cankerworms of your family, then you will know that everybody get skeletons in their cupboard including your perceived 'SAINT MUM "

When your father conducts DNA on you and it proves that you are a bastard. Your eye go clear. Continue to rubbish every advice that you should just let sleeping dog lie jejely and troway face.

Note: When you break your loving and peaceful family with your own lack of wisdom, don't disturb Nairaland with your tears o.

Bye. Wish you a Happy Family Demolition.

ChizzyBuna:
My mom was in village since 21st
And i 2000% doubt they use condoms.

Come on!!! Use your brain
He is using condom to prevent having kids that means na young girl he was knacking.
I know im a bit emotional but this is a no no for me!!!

If i didnt travel im sure he wouldnt try such a thing. In your matrimonail house!!!! Come on!! Np dey cap rubbish bro. If he did it outside with evidence it woukd have been 10 times better i dont find out.. omo no be everybody for this country fit see truth talk am.
See how you all are busy defending him
Even one mugu said i will loze my respect if i report him. Can you imagine the kind nonesense people are defending.
When it comes to morals
Forget it, Nigerians dont have single moral value!!.

No wonder politicans treat us like animals. True true una desreve Tinubu i swaer.

Sorry if this sounds offensive, but please don't be offended. I just want to ask...how old are you?

I asked that to help everyone reading this to know your level of comprehension and experience about life. I mean no harm or ridicule.

The best way to solve the puzzle 🧩 of the delima you find yourself is to simulate the outcome of your actions and/or inactions after this discovery.

Let's say you discussed this with your dad first and he made you understand that those things were used between him and your mom, and even went as far as calling your mom to bash her for not disposing them properly.... How would you feel....guess that'll ease your mind.

Another scenario is that he used it on other women....the most likely probability from your own point view.... If you discuss it with him, he might feel bad for loosing his guards and letting you see his dirty side. In this instance, you can choose to educate him and even threaten to report it to your mom if he doesn't desist going forward.....with this approach, you've earned a respect that your other siblings won't have from him, and consequently keep the family intact.

Another possibility is that you went on to tell your mom just like you're feeling now... I'll leave this scenario to you to tell us what might happen afterwards.

Maturity comes with a lot of packages...and it includes information management. It's up to you to show how matured you are.

Children of nowadays..what is ur biz with ur father's personal life..this is d height of indescipline if I am ur dad I would disown u and do a DNA test on u..I don't trust ur mum

livebullet:
Who is this simp? Licking p*ssy wont fetch u long life sir

Neither will misogyny but go off

purples25:
See what men are saying about a cheating man, unlike what they want for a cheating woman in the other thread.

Somebody even said men's cheating does not destroy the family unlike women's 😂

Same people wey attack me die because I said the man in the other thread should handle the female cheat calmly.

Hilarious thread

The cheating husband isn't the family destroyer; it is the son who wants to report him + the mother (if she decides to act on it) that are the family destroyers.

It tells you how they think and that they do not mean any good for women.

G0Oodharddick:
You're a very fuuulish man

Oga, men do not the cheat. It is the nature of a man to have as many women as he wants and sleep with them all , and heaven will not fail. David, Solomon, Abraham, etc all had numerous women in their lives and heaven didn't fall.

What you call cheating in a man is completely different from women's cheating. Once a woman cheats, the family is completely destroy

Kindly explain what destroys the family if the wife decides to join in the sleeping around.

coleon:
To think that it's a man that posted this is so nauseating.What happened to the bro code? I remembered the famous saying my dad always quote before his demise when my mum turned all her sons against him because he had side chicks, he will always say " e nu eh le wa ye" in Yoruba. Today I'm a man with kids and family and I realised my dad did nothing wrong but just being a man. Why is cos I'm doing much worse than what my dad did, it's just African in men to have side gigs and not anything new. It's unfortunate we have men these days that don't even have anything going but being effeminate.

Your definition of a man is someone who lacks self control to keep his stuff in his pants?

If you want to sleep around, why don't you abstain from marriage? Why take vows to be faithful when you have determined you will break it?

Anyways, I don't blame you; It is the modelled behaviour you saw.

Nnamdipapa:
Most of the time, they put a lot into the marriage and get little in return. Cut men a little bit of slack will ya?

A lot like what to warrant infidelity as a reward?

wany:
Men are selfish and self centered.

It is usually the audacity for me

bukatyne:
Hilarious thread

The cheating husband isn't the family destroyer; it is the son who wants to report him + the mother (if she decides to act on it) that are the family destroyers.

It tells you how they think and that they do not mean any good for women.

Honestly many of them think they are the only human beings.

nedekid:
Yes naa, report him to your mum.
Hope your mum is financially comfortable to take care of herself and your siblings when baba decides to chase you guys from he house. Lol
It happened to my friend back in the day. His loaded dad had a solid country home in their village somewhere in Ogun state, apparently close to his sons school. His sons will take their friends to party there during weekends since it had a pool, cook etc. Basically a village mansion.
Na so my guy land with his friends one weekend only to Jamb popsi with his friends all parting with bus loads of campus small small girls. Lol.
Baba called his 2 kids, told them if they dare, make them tell their mamas, that he will pursue the two wives along with all the children then marry 2 new smallies! He put hand for pocket give the wad of cash and told them to go back to campus.
Omo those guys kept their mouth shut. Lol

Chai!

Money must be made.

Sucre6:
He's living his life, who am I to stop him ?

If he's as rich as Ned Nwoko and decide to marry younger girls, the society won't see anything wrong with it right? My mom is too busy keeping her home, she knows my dad better than we all do, so she handle things her own way and I never have them quarrel or argue about anything before

My dad was alive to his responsibilities and he made sure we lacked nothing and my mom too, so what ever rocks his boat is really cool by me, no be me devil go use spoil my family

Wait, your mother was busy 'keeping her home' while your dad was busy committing adultery?

It is well.

ChizzyBuna:
So the fact that he is a good provider means he is allowed to sleep around like goat??

Imagine if it is your own father
Will you be saying this nonesense

Ur emotions shows you are still not matured... Onuku(mumu).

Did you think of the consequences and the disunity you would cause?

You think once you open your mouth waaaa, things will become normal, probably your dad will go begging your mother or something.

Get ready to throw your mother out of your dad's house.

bukatyne:
Kindly explain what destroys the family if the wife decides to join in the sleeping around.

the wife should sleep around now

The earlier the better u understand that men are different from women

A man can marry 50 wives n have 100 concubines n still live a good life

A woman can't even marry 2 husband's n she would even b afraid if she's caught sleeping around even if she's a widow she has to b coded with it or remarry

Many of u don't know anything

bukatyne:
Your definition of a man is someone who lacks self control to keep his stuff in his pants?

If you want to sleep around, why don't you abstain from marriage? Why take vows to be faithful when you have determined you will break it?

Anyways, I don't blame you; It is the modelled behaviour you saw.

if only u understand we are in Africa n your forefathers even married more than one wives n heaven did not fall

purples25:
Honestly many of them think they are the only human beings.

Women taught them so.

I remember a facilitator who said his wife will take almost any nonsense than infidelity.

And he did not intend to lose her/ break his family because she was a woman of value & substance and carried herself according.

While I am indecisive about anyone in the OP's shoes telling or not, what irks me is that they see nothing wrong in the father's alleged adultery.

There is no iota of kindness or thoughtfulness towards the wife. It is all about defending an African man's right to adultery.

Factcheck0001:
the wife should sleep around now

The earlier the better u understand that men are different from women

A man can marry 50 wives n have 100 concubines n still live a good life

A woman can't even marry 2 husband's n she would even b afraid if she's caught sleeping around even if she's a widow she has to b coded with it or remarry

Many of u don't know anything

You that knows something, tell us.

I speak from a Christian point of view and there is nothing like a man & woman is different when it comes to expectations of fidelity and faithfulness in marriage.

There is no separate hell for men & women.

The moment a man/woman steps of out their marriage, something happens.

Factcheck0001:
if only u understand we are in Africa n your forefathers even married more than one wives n heaven did not fall

Your forefathers also trekked, farmed, worshipped idols and lived in huts. If you are from Calabar, they probably killed twins also.

In addition, they did not have smart phones so waited months to communicate what you do in seconds.

Which of their other lifestyles are you adopting?

So that I know you are a proper African man.

bukatyne:
You that knows something, tell us.

I speak from a Christian point of view and there is nothing like a man & woman is different when it comes to expectations of fidelity and faithfulness in marriage.

There is no separate hell for men & women.

The moment a man/woman steps of out their marriage, something happens.

I guess Solomon, David, Abraham n co are Muslims?

Though I don't support infidelity but I believe some situations are best manage with maturity

The way a man reason is quite different from d way a woman reasons

What if d op father decide to marry a second wife, what will op n his mother do?

The worst is to pack out of d house n d man will b free to do whatever he wants, in d long run its a win win case for d father n a lose lose case for op n his mother

bukatyne:
Your forefathers also trekked, farmed, worshipped idols and lived in huts. If you are from Calabar, they probably killed twins also.

In addition, they did not have smart phones so waited months to communicate what you do in seconds.

Which of their other lifestyles are you adopting?

So that I know you are a proper African man.

Are u married?

Factcheck0001:
I guess Solomon, David, Abraham n co are Muslims?

Though I don't support infidelity but I believe some situations are best manage with maturity

The way a man reason is quite different from d way a woman reasons

What if d op father decide to marry a second wife, what will op n his mother do?

The worst is to pack out of d house n d man will b free to do whatever he wants, in d long run its a win win case for d father n a lose lose case for op n his mother

Solomon had 1,000 women, David committed adultery with Bathesheba and killed her husband; Abraham slept with his maid and we see the result.

Rahab was a prostitute; Tamar slept with her father-in-law; Rebecca connived with Jacob to steal Esau's birthright etc.

I am sure you now understand that the actions of Bible characters (even those called 'good') are nott prescriptions of how Christians should live their lives today.

The only example is Christ.

The 'I don't support infidelity' flying around on this thread is a cop out: you inherently see nothing wrong in infidelity else you won't work so hard to prove that 'male adultery is different from female adultery'.

You see nothing wrong with an adulterous man; he is just exhibiting his African tendencies.... own it.

@ the wife walking out of the marriage: it is not a 'punishment' to the man; it is removing herself from an unpleasant situation because she deserves better.

It is like resigning from a toxic job; 'you don't aim to 'punish' your employers; you want to move on from an environment killing your spirit.

Factcheck0001:
Are u married?

What has ny marital status got to do with it?

bukatyne:
What has ny marital status got to do with it?

if u ain't married u can't understand some explanation so it pays to save myself the stress

Believe whatever makes u happy madam

Your brain is working from the back. Wait untill you grow up.