₦airaland Forum

Good morning everyone I need your mature advice on this situation. I am married with 4 kids we live in a 4 bedroom flat the price is very very cheap because it belongs to my father's in law childhood friend. What we are paying in this area cheaper than what other people are paying for the 2 bedroomed house. But the downside is we have 2 toilet in the house the one with the shower is attached to our bedroom and the second one doesn't have a shower it been okay for us with our children. Although we had spoke to the landlord son who's in charge of the house about building a shower in the other toilet he promised to do so but nothing so far. It happened that my 19 years old soon to be 20 niece has gotten a job in our city and she moved in with us for the past 2 months she is here and she is also working. Before she used to bath in the other toilet with a bucket of water because there is no shower drain water used ti flood in the house it become stressfull cleaning all.the water and she was getting late for work. I used to help her sometimes but my hand is also busy with the kids plus my business so I have asked her to be woken up at 4am everyday. To use our bedroom shower although my hubby is not
aware because he is a deep sleeper he doesn't even know when she enter and leave the room. For the past 2 weeks she is using the shower in our room the problem is my hubby doesn't wear anything to bed except boxer and he doesn't like to cover although he is a deep sleeper if I try to cover him he will feel the heat and remove it complaining that he is hot..so the way my niece has been entering our room at 4am sometime I am also asleep at that time I don't even know when she enter because is also tiring for me to be awake at this time everyday and for her to seeing my hubby in his boxers I don't find it appropriate and am not very comfortable with the situation anymore. And the day my hubby will found out that she is using our shower he will not find it funny he will be very angry with me. I don't want to loose my marriage because if this issue please I need your mature advice what should I do with my niece. She is only 20 she is still a child is renting a room for a 20 years old to live alone is appropriate or not..am very scared because I don't want her to have the freedom and to start messing around with men or even carry belle. Help me please I will be in the comment section

Undergraduates below her age rent apartments for themselves for schooling.

Meanwhile, why not fund the shower in the second toilet since the house rent is already very cheap for you? All you need is the consent of the landlord. Fund it as a way of appreciating the landlord for the low rent.

2025willbegreat:
Good morning everyone I need your mature advice on this situation. I am married with 4 kids we live in a 4 bedroom flat the price is very very cheap because it belongs to my father's in law childhood friend. What we are paying in this area cheaper than what other people are paying for the 2 bedroomed house. But the downside is we have 2 toilet in the house the one with the shower is attached to our bedroom and the second one doesn't have a shower it been okay for us with our children. Although we had spoke to the landlord son who's in charge of the house about building a shower in the other toilet he promised to do so but nothing so far. It happened that my 19 years old soon to be 20 niece has gotten a job in our city and she moved in with us for the past 2 months she is here and she is also working. Before she used to bath in the other toilet with a bucket of water because there is no shower drain water used ti flood in the house it become stressfull cleaning all.the water and she was getting late for work. I used to help her sometimes but my hand is also busy with the kids plus my business so I have asked her to be woken up at 4am everyday. To use our bedroom shower although my hubby is not
aware because he is a deep sleeper he doesn't even know when she enter and leave the room. For the past 2 weeks she is using the shower in our room the problem is my hubby doesn't wear anything to bed except boxer and he doesn't like to cover although he is a deep sleeper if I try to cover him he will feel the heat and remove it complaining that he is hot..so the way my niece has been entering our room at 4am sometime I am also asleep at that time I don't even know when she enter and for her to seeing my hubby in his boxers I don't know if it is very appropriate. And the day my hubby will found out that she is using our shower he will not find it funny he will be very angry with me. I don't want to loose my marriage because if this issue please I need your mature advice what should I do with my niece. She is only 20 she is still a child is renting a room for a 20 years old to live alone is appropriate or not..am very scared because I don't want her to have the freedom and to start messing around with men or even carry belle. Help me please I will be in the comment section

rent a place for her. Bring up the suggestion.
2. Change accommodation
3. She only need a room. Get her a campus accommodation. Talk to her abt it till she accepts. Start slowly.

PS . Don't give chances to destroy ur marriage and don't accuse anyone yet

immortalcrown:
Undergraduates below her age rent apartments for themselves for schooling.

Noted thank you

Pennywise2:
rent a place for her. Bring up the suggestion.
2. Change accommodation
3. She only need a room. Get her a campus accommodation. Talk to her abt it till she accepts. Start slowly.

PS . Don't give chances to destroy ur marriage and don't accuse anyone yet

Thank you for the advice she will not have any problem about moving out . .actually I am the one who is afraid of letting her go because of she will have no guardian or boundaries.

2025willbegreat:
Thank you for the advice she will not have any problem about moving out . .actually I am the one who is afraid of letting her go because of she will have no guardian or boundaries.

You will make her still have to come to you regularly, at least once a week for the next 3 months to report to you, but more important is you trust that you have positively impacted her life, for ever.

You said the house is cheap.
And you still expecting the landlord to fix shower in the other bathroom.
The money you want to use to rent a new house is more than enough to fix the bathroom.
Contact a plumber, know the cost, inform the landlord and use your money to fix it.
Small cement, pipes, tap etc.

2025willbegreat:
Good morning everyone I need your mature advice on this situation. I am married with 4 kids we live in a 4 bedroom flat the price is very very cheap because it belongs to my father's in law childhood friend. What we are paying in this area cheaper than what other people are paying for the 2 bedroomed house. But the downside is we have 2 toilet in the house the one with the shower is attached to our bedroom and the second one doesn't have a shower it been okay for us with our children. Although we had spoke to the landlord son who's in charge of the house about building a shower in the other toilet he promised to do so but nothing so far. It happened that my 19 years old soon to be 20 niece has gotten a job in our city and she moved in with us for the past 2 months she is here and she is also working. Before she used to bath in the other toilet with a bucket of water because there is no shower drain water used ti flood in the house it become stressfull cleaning all.the water and she was getting late for work. I used to help her sometimes but my hand is also busy with the kids plus my business so I have asked her to be woken up at 4am everyday. To use our bedroom shower although my hubby is not
aware because he is a deep sleeper he doesn't even know when she enter and leave the room. For the past 2 weeks she is using the shower in our room the problem is my hubby doesn't wear anything to bed except boxer and he doesn't like to cover although he is a deep sleeper if I try to cover him he will feel the heat and remove it complaining that he is hot..so the way my niece has been entering our room at 4am sometime I am also asleep at that time I don't even know when she enter because is also tiring for me to be awake at this time everyday and for her to seeing my hubby in his boxers I don't find it appropriate and am not very comfortable with the situation anymore. And the day my hubby will found out that she is using our shower he will not find it funny he will be very angry with me. I don't want to loose my marriage because if this issue please I need your mature advice what should I do with my niece. She is only 20 she is still a child is renting a room for a 20 years old to live alone is appropriate or not..am very scared because I don't want her to have the freedom and to start messing around with men or even carry belle. Help me please I will be in the comment section

Discuss the issue with your husband and get a plumber to fix the other bathroom, except there are other reasons, I don’t see why she should move out of the house.

You won’t lose your marriage because you want to help your niece, except you overdo.

Not telling your husband is an issue, don’t wait for him to find out. Make him understand that you need the plumber ASAP.

2025willbegreat:
Noted thank you

First I don't know why these comments above quote the entirely long post instead of just replying..

Op you're puting the cart before the horse. You should have discussed the condition of your house with your niece before she comes in. After she moved in, you should have also discussed the matter with your hubby before suggesting she comes to use your bathroom.

Discuss with your hubby to negotiate with the landlord's son that you just want to put a hole down the toilet floor at the back beside the WC and you'll pay the plumber for the pipe that will be used outside and maybe you can share the payment for his services. You don't need a shower pipe n vent inside the bathroom, what you only need is where the bath water can flow through to the sewage tank. Anyone using the bathroom will bathe from bucket.

If you're waiting for the landlord to bear all the expenses despite the cheap rent, you will not get anything done. If you and ur husband can bear the cost alone sef, it'll make it faster. All you need is permission from the landlord. That's all

Are you guys in Abuja...?

Let me accomodate her for u

😑

Why can't you just fix the shower or the drain yourselves?

marsup:
Why can't you just fix the shower or the drain yourselves?

As in ehh, I see no problem here, just fix up the toilet and she won't be coming to your room to bath, nah because they thought the responsibility is for the landlord that's why she doesn't want to fix it, but fixing it could save cost comparing to renting her a new apartment

Madam, to fix new shower no hard like that now. Placing your nice aside, what if you have guests sleeping over, would they be barging into your room every morning.

Please, get a plumber and fix a shower. The toilet should have a drain outlet, you just have to find it and get a pipe through.

You have a cheap rent apartment and you guys are waiting for the landlord to come to fix shower, since you have informed him and he agreed to do so but not forthcoming.i will advice get plumber to cost it and tell him if you can fix it and deduct it from your next rent

When did seeing a man on a boxer-short become a problem?

.

2025willbegreat:
Good morning everyone I need your mature advice on this situation. I am married with 4 kids we live in a 4 bedroom flat the price is very very cheap because it belongs to my father's in law childhood friend. What we are paying in this area cheaper than what other people are paying for the 2 bedroomed house. But the downside is we have 2 toilet in the house the one with the shower is attached to our bedroom and the second one doesn't have a shower it been okay for us with our children. Although we had spoke to the landlord son who's in charge of the house about building a shower in the other toilet he promised to do so but nothing so far. It happened that my 19 years old soon to be 20 niece has gotten a job in our city and she moved in with us for the past 2 months she is here and she is also working. Before she used to bath in the other toilet with a bucket of water because there is no shower drain water used ti flood in the house it become stressfull cleaning all.the water and she was getting late for work. I used to help her sometimes but my hand is also busy with the kids plus my business so I have asked her to be woken up at 4am everyday. To use our bedroom shower although my hubby is not
aware because he is a deep sleeper he doesn't even know when she enter and leave the room. For the past 2 weeks she is using the shower in our room the problem is my hubby doesn't wear anything to bed except boxer and he doesn't like to cover although he is a deep sleeper if I try to cover him he will feel the heat and remove it complaining that he is hot..so the way my niece has been entering our room at 4am sometime I am also asleep at that time I don't even know when she enter because is also tiring for me to be awake at this time everyday and for her to seeing my hubby in his boxers I don't find it appropriate and am not very comfortable with the situation anymore. And the day my hubby will found out that she is using our shower he will not find it funny he will be very angry with me. I don't want to loose my marriage because if this issue please I need your mature advice what should I do with my niece. She is only 20 she is still a child is renting a room for a 20 years old to live alone is appropriate or not..am very scared because I don't want her to have the freedom and to start messing around with men or even carry belle. Help me please I will be in the comment section

Howmuch is shower head, plumbing pipe and control valve. Fixing the water in the other bathroom won't take you up to 30k including workmanship (assuming you stay in a highbrow area..

Your niece is coming in from a different city, please don't move her out fast until she has become has come to know the city well say a year,.if you allow her go live alone in a city she doesn't know and anything happens where you won find am go, your people go use call finish you too.....shower head is not rocket science normal person around with basic skill can fix it...this is just a situation of burning the house because you saw rat inside

conscienceman4:
You said the house is cheap.
And you still expecting the landlord to fix shower in the other bathroom.
The money you want to use to rent a new house is more than enough to fix the bathroom.
Contact a plumber, know the cost, inform the landlord and use your money to fix it.
Small cement, pipes, tap etc.

Ladies ehn always making mountain out of molehill!
She would even rather rent another apartment for the niece instead of fixing the toilet issue herself... wait! Actually the oblivious man will still be the one to pay for the problem he didn't bargain for!
@op logical thing to do is - fix the gadam toilet and avoid brewing a storm in
a teacup.

illicit:
Are you guys in Abuja...?

Let me accomodate her for u

😑

So that you can start teaching her illicit ideas abi??


Many truth has been spoken up there tho,use to rent money to fix the other restroom...


I sell herbs tho

We are not even talking about overhead shower here.

Just to burst hole and connect drain pipe.

You had better do the needful quickly to avoid that storm in the horizon.

2025willbegreat:
Good morning everyone I need your mature advice on this situation. I am married with 4 kids we live in a 4 bedroom flat the price is very very cheap because it belongs to my father's in law childhood friend. What we are paying in this area cheaper than what other people are paying for the 2 bedroomed house. But the downside is we have 2 toilet in the house the one with the shower is attached to our bedroom and the second one doesn't have a shower it been okay for us with our children. Although we had spoke to the landlord son who's in charge of the house about building a shower in the other toilet he promised to do so but nothing so far. It happened that my 19 years old soon to be 20 niece has gotten a job in our city and she moved in with us for the past 2 months she is here and she is also working. Before she used to bath in the other toilet with a bucket of water because there is no shower drain water used ti flood in the house it become stressfull cleaning all.the water and she was getting late for work. I used to help her sometimes but my hand is also busy with the kids plus my business so I have asked her to be woken up at 4am everyday. To use our bedroom shower although my hubby is not
aware because he is a deep sleeper he doesn't even know when she enter and leave the room. For the past 2 weeks she is using the shower in our room the problem is my hubby doesn't wear anything to bed except boxer and he doesn't like to cover although he is a deep sleeper if I try to cover him he will feel the heat and remove it complaining that he is hot..so the way my niece has been entering our room at 4am sometime I am also asleep at that time I don't even know when she enter because is also tiring for me to be awake at this time everyday and for her to seeing my hubby in his boxers I don't find it appropriate and am not very comfortable with the situation anymore. And the day my hubby will found out that she is using our shower he will not find it funny he will be very angry with me. I don't want to loose my marriage because if this issue please I need your mature advice what should I do with my niece. She is only 20 she is still a child is renting a room for a 20 years old to live alone is appropriate or not..am very scared because I don't want her to have the freedom and to start messing around with men or even carry belle. Help me please I will be in the comment section

So this automatically means the young lady doesn't take her bath at night before sleeping... I must commend you for your wisdom but you need to fix that bathroom yourself and save your niece from getting into wrong hands.

You are obviously saving money from rent why don't you simply use your money to fix the bathroom? You will save more than a third of that amount you'd use to get a new apartment except of course you and your husband are very wicked and ungrateful after being given such a cheap place.

See desperation.

See another fabu to remind men say women dey wait for dem to come fuq dem.

lionphil:
So this automatically means the young lady doesn't take her bath at night before sleeping... I must commend you for your wisdom but you need to fix that bathroom yourself and save your niece from getting into wrong hands.

You are obviously saving money from rent why don't you simply use your money to fix the bathroom? You will save more than a third of that amount you'd use to get a new apartment except of course you and your husband are very wicked and ungrateful after being given such a cheap place.

We have no issue about fixing the bathroom but the landlord son is a difficult man ever since the father had dementia he is abroad now. he is not happy that we are living here for cheaper he wanted to increase the rent with 100k but his mother refused he is not happy with us and he won't allow us to fix it. I wanted my husband to complain to his mother over this toilet issue but he refusec saying he doesn't want to cause trouble between mother and son we have to ignore and manage the house like that.

A 20 years old woman is not a child.

gasparpisciotta:
Discuss the issue with your husband and get a plumber to fix the other bathroom, except there are other reasons, I don’t see why she should move out of the house.

You won’t lose your marriage because you want to help your niece, except you overdo.

Not telling your husband is an issue, don’t wait for him to find out. Make him understand that you need the plumber ASAP.

Exactly. Enough of the secrecy.

2025willbegreat:
We have no issue about fixing the bathroom but the landlord son is a difficult man ever since the father had dementia he is abroad now. he is not happy that we are living here for cheaper he wanted to increase the rent with 100k but his mother refused he is not happy with us and he won't allow us to fix it. I wanted my husband to complain to his mother over this toilet issue but he refusec saying he doesn't want to cause trouble between mother and son we have to ignore and manage the house like that.

I know times are hard but given the situation with the son, I'll advise you pay rent upfront for some years if possible. Then tell the mum. If anything happens to that woman (God forbid) the quit notice will come very swiftly.

Problem no dey finish..

Send her number to me here. Let me help you tutor her..

Binspector:
When did seeing a man on a boxer-short become a problem?

i hope it's not also a problem when the situation is reversed...

A drainage system would be better .. find a way to get the water out ..

She can keep bathing with buckets...

You made a very big mistake, you're not single yet you made decision without your husband knowing, I pray your niece Bleep your husband.

lionphil:
I know times are hard but given the situation with the son, I'll advise you pay rent upfront for some years if possible. Then tell the mum. If anything happens to that woman (God forbid) the quit notice will come very swiftly.

Nice advice.

lionphil:
So this automatically means the young lady doesn't take her bath at night before sleeping... I must commend you for your wisdom but you need to fix that bathroom yourself and save your niece from getting into wrong hands.

You are obviously saving money from rent why don't you simply use your money to fix the bathroom? You will save more than a third of that amount you'd use to get a new apartment except of course you and your husband are very wicked and ungrateful after being given such a cheap place.

Learn to dey comment without quoting the thread. You are just creating long spaces for others not to comment, what's hard in just commenting without quoting? Nawa o.