₦airaland Forum

Don't be a sissy. The wife is no longer interested. Collect your money from whoever.

ceejay80s:
hello guys
a friend came from port Harcourt to see me on 24th morning he was with me till 25th ,
we were at night gisting and I ask about his wife.....
to cut the long story short,

the father in-law is still alive but the wife, sister and her sisters husband called him that they will be coming to his place to return the bride price,
I asked him , who did u give the bride price to?
he said the father, I told him to ignore them until the father in-law calls u or ur father before u go and collect it.

Nairalanders I hope I am right?

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO U ALL

It's not wrong to return bride price...culture is dynamic

A bride shouldn't have a price, she's invaluable. Let's do away with modern slave trade

ceejay80s:
➜I don't judge....but it's not her position or her elders sisters husband,
my friend Joseph said he will collect it, if it was from the father, he took is no longer interested, no be by force but there should be a proper way, if he collects from wife or etc and denied collecting it nko?

It is not the position of the wife to demand a divorce from your friend and return the bride price he paid on her head.

You are not being reasonable at all. His wife is done with the marriage and wishes to leave. The best he can do is let her go and move on with his life as soon as possible.

AlphaNugget:
Leave the marriage, allow the street to devour her......I wonder why you are feeling stressed over some bîtch leaving you 😐

My thoughts exactly he should be happy a huge load has been removed from his life.

You want to collect your bride price, where is your receipt?

Kobojunkie:
It is not the position of the wife to demand a divorce from your friend and return the bride price he paid on her head.

You are not being reasonable at all. His wife is done with the marriage and wishes to leave. The best he can do is let her go and move on with his life as soon as possible.

u are misinterpreting me.
she's at her father's place, she's not tied to their house, at least when he came to my house on the 24th , she didnt come with him.
i asked him , he said she's at her father's house since,
the question and topic is , who returns bride price?
father of the bride?
sister?
bride?
sisters husband?
the guy sef no do because the lady no dey him house like he said ,
I only told him not to receive that return of bride price as if he borrowed them money and they are returning it

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pocohantas:
If you don't want a marriage again, I wouldn't know why you will be dramatic over receiving your brideprice. The father doesn't have to call. Has your friend called his ex father inlaw in the period of separation out of respect or to see how things can be fixed? If no, then I fail to see why the father should extend same honour to him.

If they refuse to collect it. Then a lawyer can drop it off with their village head. It is not even compulsory you hand it over to the man or his family. Let alone it being compulsory the father calls or brings it back himself.

Neither the mother, sister or the son -in law have any rights whatsoever to return a bride price whether the father in law is alive or not.

In a situation where the father in law is dead or incapacitated, the umunna of the wife will appoint some elders within themselves to stand in place of the father in law...

DeeScan:
just frop aza ans stop wasting his time .. we no say na beg u wan beg...

lol I no hungry , I am a journalist,but if u insist on giving me something , I don't mind collecting it, 8 can't drop my account number here, sent Whatsapp messages,
ur money I go use am buy icream for my kids, if e plenty , I go lick too

Coldrux:
Then no need . Take care pls. Thank God I exposed your selfish self before I would waste my airtime to call

guy u have nada...
send ur acct let me credit u

ceejay80s:
➜u are misinterpreting me. she's at her father's place, she's not tied to their house, at least when he came to my house on the 24th , she didnt come with him. i asked him , he said she's at her father's house since, the question and topic is , who returns bride price? father of the bride? sister? bride? sisters husband? the guy sef no do because the lady no dey him house like he said , I only told him not to receive that return of bride price as if he borrowed them money and they are returning it

You are goading your friend into requiring a VIP treatment from the father-in-law when the woman who connects them already made up his mind to divorce him? Na good friend you be so?

nwirinedu:
You want to collect your bride price, where is your receipt?

lol
my own bride price sef was returned immediately at the traditional marriage, the father only collected #50 from it.
so God forbid same happens to me, I no go see shishi collect except #50

ceejay80s:
lol
my own bride price sef was returned immediately at the traditional marriage, the father only collected #50 from it.
so God forbid same happens to me, I no go see shishi collect except #50

That also means you can never return the girl to her father no matter what.

Kobojunkie:
You are goading your friend into requiring a VIP treatment from the father-in-law when the woman who connects them already made up his mind to divorce him? Na good friend you be so?

u guys no understand
there's a procedure,
it ain't vip,
it's like u saying my mother should go and pay my bride price where I am around and my dad is around and she will go to inlaws on traditional marriage day , ur mother will stand and had it over to the brides father,
we call it ALLU abomination...
many of u no dey go village meetings here obviously

ceejay80s:
guy u have nada...
send ur acct let me credit u

Guy u don't have a penny. I'm so sure about that

Negroid001:
It's like buying a car and you a given a refund despite mileage used. You no lose my bro

The return is just N70 by Igbo tradition. It's just the representative of the token.

People should stop dropping opinions without fully understanding the ethnic group/tribe involved. In Igbo culture, it's taboo for her sister or in-laws to say that they are coming to bring back the dowry. This issue is what is supposed to be done within the kinsmen circle and not even her family alone because the bridal list contains kinsmen provisional requests/rituals among other things.

ceejay80s take note and advise your friend accordingly.

Coldrux:
Guy u don't have a penny. I'm so sure about that

😂 lol

ceejay80s:
😂 lol

Jonsing man

Emotionss:
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Neither the mother, sister or the son -in law have any rights whatsoever to return a bride price whether the father in law is alive or not.

In a situation where the father in law is dead or incapacitated, the umunna of the wife will appoint some elders within themselves to stand in place of the father in law...

u be ichie ,
u dey attend meeting
no be all these small boys wey just give woman belle, wey the girls parent don't even know where they live or the name of their grandchildren

ceejay80s:
😂 lol

See the right advice I dropped for your friend above.

In Igbo culture, it's taboo for her sister or in-laws to say that they are coming to bring back the dowry. This issue is what is supposed to be done within the kinsmen circle and not even her family alone because the bridal list contains kinsmen provisional requests/rituals among other things.

ceejay80s take note and advise your friend accordingly.

ceejay80s:
➜ u guys no understand there's a procedure, it ain't vip, it's like u saying my mother should go and pay my bride price where I am around and my dad is around and she will go to inlaws on traditional marriage day , ur mother will stand and had it over to the brides father, we call it ALLU abomination... many of u no dey go village meetings here obviously

Stop lying!🙄🙄🙄🙄

If I asked you to provide us all with where this procedure of yours is documented, I bet you would start foaming and flailing.... providing us no definites until the end. 🙄🙄🙄

The woman and her kin already arrived seeking a divorce from your friend. So, prolonging his misery by way of ridiculous lies is not helping him; be the reasonable friend you ought to be to him.

MadamExcellency:
The return is just N70 by Igbo tradition. It's just the representative of the token.

People should stop dropping opinions without fully understanding the ethnic group/tribe involved. In Igbo culture, it's taboo for her sister or in-laws to say that they are coming to bring back the dowry. This issue is what is supposed to be done within the kinsmen circle and not even her family alone because the bridal list contains kinsmen provisional requests/rituals among other things.

ceejay80s take note and advise your friend accordingly.

God bless u.
they will not learn ooo
na to dey attack people upandown on nairaland

MadamExcellency:
See the right advice I dropped for your friend above.

In Igbo culture, it's taboo for her sister or in-laws to say that they are coming to bring back the dowry. This issue is what is supposed to be done within the kinsmen circle and not even her family alone because the bridal list contains kinsmen provisional requests/rituals among other things.

ceejay80s take note and advise your friend accordingly.

I have seen it and it's the truth
thanks

Kobojunkie:
Stop lying!🙄🙄🙄🙄

If I asked you to provide us all with where this procedure of yours is documented, I bet you would start foaming and flailing.... providing us no definites until the end. 🙄🙄🙄

The woman and her kin already arrived seeking a divorce from your friend. So, prolonging his misery by way of ridiculous lies is not helping him; be the reasonable friend you ought to be to him.

no fight me na...
I already know the answer , just want to confirm from nairaland,
do u know the meaning on ALLUU

ceejay80s:
➜no fight me na... I already know the answer , just want to confirm from nairaland, do u know the meaning on ALLUU

Of course! It means jack shit! 🤔

What is important here is a divorce is being sort and your friend is not helped by you throwing around such meaningless terms where his pain and the rejection he is being faced with is concerned. 🤔

pocohantas:
If you don't want a marriage again, I wouldn't know why you will be dramatic over receiving your brideprice. The father doesn't have to call. Has your friend called his ex father inlaw in the period of separation out of respect or to see how things can be fixed? If no, then I fail to see why the father should extend same honour to him.

If they refuse to collect it. Then a lawyer can drop it off with their village head. It is not even compulsory you hand it over to the man or his family. Let alone it being compulsory the father calls or brings it back himself.

Gen Z advisor.

This situation depends on who's calling for the divorce. If it's the lady, she'll inform the father if still alive or father's kinsmen who will then invite the parent or guardian of the guy to come for their bride price. In Ibo land, bride orice is paid by the parent or elderly kinsman and not the intending spouse so naturally return of bride price is returned to an elderly person of the ex husband and not directly to the ex husband.

If it's the guy asking for return of bride price, sometime the parent of the girl may stall for a while to give reconciliation a chance and when it didn't happen, father may wait until his daughter remarries and then the bride price is returned to the previous husband.

Whatever is happening now, the father of the girl will claim ignorance in the near future.

MadamExcellency:
The return is just N70 by Igbo tradition. It's just the representative of the token.

People should stop dropping opinions without fully understanding the ethnic group/tribe involved. In Igbo culture, it's taboo for her sister or in-laws to say that they are coming to bring back the dowry. This issue is what is supposed to be done within the kinsmen circle and not even her family alone because the bridal list contains kinsmen provisional requests/rituals among other things.

ceejay80s take note and advise your friend accordingly.

You people always mix bride price and dowry.

They are two different things...
Bride price is what a man pay to the bride family during wedding.

Dowry is properties/ money a bride brings from her parents house to her husband house.
Take note

Kobojunkie:
Of course! It means jack shit! 🤔

What is important here is a divorce is being sorted and your friend is not helped by you throwing around such meaningless terms where his pain and the rejection he is being faced with are concerned. 🤔

Requesting a divorce in Igboland has a procedure. When we marry, we don't only marry the lady or the man, we establish a special bond between the two kinships. It's not a thing you strike off with a pen when you so desires.

ceejay80s:
no fight me na...
I already know the answer , just want to confirm from nairaland,
do u know the meaning on ALLUU

Stop engaging that moniker for your own good.

Bobodee09:
Stop engaging that moniker for your own good.

thanks my brother

MadamExcellency:
✓ Requesting a divorce in Igboland has a procedure. When we marry, we don't only marry the lady or the man, we establish a special bond between the two kinships. It's not a thing you strike off with a pen when you so desires.

Stop lying! 🙄🙄

I know for a fact that even as far back as the 1980s those old idea had not been widely practiced. I witnessed several divorces in my area that didn't go anything like what you are here prescribing for your friend. And that is why I continue to question your friendship.

Negroid001:
It's like buying a car and you a given a refund despite mileage used. You no lose my bro

refund of ₦8000 highest? While you spent millions on the wedding and marriage proper. Keep joking 😃...

freshvine:
Gen Z advisor.

This situation depends on who's calling for the divorce. If it's the lady, she'll inform the father if still alive or father's kinsmen who will then invite the parent or guardian of the guy to come for their bride price. In Ibo land, bride orice is paid by the parent or elderly kinsman and not the intending spouse so naturally return of bride price is returned to an elderly person of the ex husband and not directly to the ex husband.

If it's the guy asking for return of bride price, sometime the parent of the girl may stall for a while to give reconciliation a chance and when it didn't happen, father may wait until his daughter remarries and then the bride price is returned to the previous husband.

Whatever is happening now, the father of the girl will claim ignorance in the near future.

The question here is not if it can be returned to the groom, but if the bride's father must be part of the return team. So Mr/Ms Senior Genz, take a second to read before responding to me.

The father of the girl cannot claim ignorance because you have no knowledge of their indoor conversation. If they have done that and appointed people to come return it, then it up to the guy to be on ground with his kinsmen to receive it. If he does shakara, they can drop it with his village head. At no point is it compulsory the father must come himself! Given that from the look of things, the guy has not deemed it necessary to reach his inlaws all through the supposed period of reconciliation. If he wants reconciliation, then he should call for it.

Also, it is IGBO, not IBO.

Thank you