₦airaland Forum

pocohantas:
The father of the girl cannot claim ignorance because you have no knowledge of their indoor conversation. If they have done that and appointed people to come return it, then it up to the guy to be on ground with his kinsmen to receive it. If he does shakara, then they can drop it with his village head. At no point is it compulsory that the father must come himself! Given that from the look of things, the guy has not deemed it necessary to reach his inlaws all through the supposed period of reconciliation.

hello Angle. Happy new year.

Omoluabi16:
hello Angle. Happy new year.

Hahahaha. It is the angle for me.
Happy new year to you too. Wishing you a prosperous 2025, Omoluabi!

Bobodee09:
Nah why you never Marry cos you lack basic common sense.

Who did he pay the pride price to?? If the father collected it, then is common sense he should be the one to return since the union is dissolved.

Infact there suppose to be a meeting were this will done with witness present cos the marriage was done with witnesses .

It is stupidity for the wife sis husband to even involve himself cos of future reference.

Like you guys haven't been marrying the ones without sense since 1901. One would think there is anything special about being picked by your type or the women you marry when you pull this card.

It is not common sense that a father goes in person to return it. It rarely happens that a father goes himself. It is not stupidity for the BIL to involve himself. If they don't have a son, then he can act as an adhoc son. As long as he has consent. You don't know the distance between both villages and the health status of the father you expect to embark on this trip. Any meeting that should have been done with both families is after the initial separation. Then the bride's family can hold on to the BP to give room for reconciliation. Once it is established no reconciliation or the lady wants to remarry, no meeting is done with the guy again. Na to give them back their money after notifying the bride's kinsmen.

So my dear, go get that common sense you are hinged on and marry the woman you want this 2025. This your "na why you never marry" is stale and I honestly do not think any human with an iota of sense would say such.

ceejay80s:
u dey amongst those wey dey go village meetings , some have branches all over states,
in lagos
u understand tradition very well

👍

In Igbo land, it is the father of the bride that should return the bride price. In his absence, his first son does it or at worst the girl's uncle, that is, in the absence of her dad and brother.
Never returned by a woman , nor even the mother of the bride, or the inlaw as was told in the story.

pocohantas:
Like you guys haven't been marrying the ones without sense since 1901. One would think there is anything special about being picked by your type or the women you marry when you pull this card.

It is not common sense that a father goes in person to return it. It rarely happens that a father goes himself. It is not stupidity for the BIL to involve himself. If they don't have a son, then he can act as an adhoc son. As long as he has consent. You don't know the distance between both villages and the health status of the father you expect to embark on this trip. Any meeting that should have been done with both families is after the initial separation. Then the bride's family can hold on to the BP to still give room for reconciliation. Once it is established no reconciliation or the lady wants to remarry, no meeting is done with the guy again. Na to give them back their money after notifying the bride's kinsmen.

So my dear, go get that common sense you are hinged on and marry the woman you want this 2025. This your "na why you never marry" is stale and I honestly do not think any human with an iota of sense would say such.

Once again nah why you never marry at almost 40.......I stopped reading where you wrote BIL should be involved if they have no son in the family...BIL to who ?? B

Anyway since you have no personal experience of how marriage is been conducted then no need correcting your dullness.

Reading you saying do i expect the father to embark on a trip to return bride shows how shallow you reason my dear.....so where you come from father of bride makes trip down to son inlaw place to return bride price during divorce??

Nawa oo

Bobodee09:
Once again nah why you never marry at alot 40.......I stop reading where you wrote BIL should be involved if they have no son in the family...BIL to who ??

Anyway since you have no personal experience of how marriage is been conducted then no need correcting your dullness.

Reading you saying do i expect the father to embark on a trip to return bride shows how shallow you reason my dear.....so where you come from father of bride makes trip down to son inlaw place to return bride price during divorce??

Nawa oo

Yes, if the bride's family doen't give it to them initially, you tell them you will return (mostly when the lady wants to remarry). They will rarely come to you again.

To further butress this, if you read this post, Mr Sensible, you will see the bride's family called to say they are coming to return the bride price. They didn't ask the ex in-laws to come for it. But it is obviously not in you to read before attacking. So much for being the one with basic common sense. Please, get sense in 2025. Everything no be to foam for mouth. Take a second to read and articulate your response.🙏

pocohantas:
Yes, if the bride's family doen't give it to them initially, you tell them you will return (mostly when the lady wants to remarry). They will rarely come to you again.

To further butress this, if you read this post, Mr Sensible, you will see the bride's family called to say they are coming to return the bride price. They didn't ask the ex in-laws to come for it. But it is obviously not in you to read before attacking. So much for being the one with basic common sense. Please, get sense in 2025. Everything no be to foam for mouth. Take a second to read amd articulate your response.🙏

Once again humpty dumpty you have no personal experience about marriage hence why you talking rubbish.

A wife can't initiate paying her own bride price back.

Only the father or family elders (incase if he is late) can initiate the process by inviting the husband family and there will be witnesses present at the dissolution and return of bride.

In this case the guy or his family wasn't invited by either the father or by elders of the wife family but rather the wife, her sister and husband want to come return the Bride price which makes absolutely no sense.
Things like this are done for future references cos of kids involved, there is a reason why it is husband family that hand over bride price during marriage and not him but since you dont have personal experience you can't understand once again.



Anyways you shouldn't be seen commenting about things you have absolutely knowledge about.

pocohantas:
The question here is not if it can be returned to the groom, but if father must be part of the return team. So Mr/Ms Senior Genz, take a second to read before responding to me.

The father of the girl cannot claim ignorance because you have no knowledge of their indoor conversation. If they have done that and appointed people to come return it, then it up to the guy to be on ground with his kinsmen to receive it. If he does shakara, then they can drop it with his village head. At no point is it compulsory that the father must come himself! Given that from the look of things, the guy has not deemed it necessary to reach his inlaws all through the supposed period of reconciliation. If he wants reconciliation, then he should call for it.




The father in-law doesn't owe him a call at this point. Stop talking _____! If he wants to talk, he should call the FIL or go see him. Call him that he is who? Do you have any clue on what led to the separation and how embittered the FIL might be? They didn't call him since, it is now they will call him in 2025. You know Igbo culture indeed.




They have the right if they have the consent of the father. The only exception is if his friend has established the father is totally unaware which I doubt he is. It is return of bride price, it is not uju that umunnas will pack themselves to go for in this period of insecurity. At best they give you 1 person for such shameful trip. Most times they all form busy, especially if you have a grown male.

Once again, it is not compulsory anywhere in Igbo culture that the father of the bride MUST be part of the return team. Which is the subject of this thread and what I responded to.

Chief Madam Ambassador and Custodian of Igbo culture. You have done well with your epistle. You have won.

Bobodee09:
Once again humpty dumpty you have no personal experience about marriage hence why you talking rubbish.

A wife can't initiate paying her own bride price back.

Only the father or family elders (incase if he is late) can initiate the process by inviting the husband family and there will be witnesses present at the dissolution and return of bride.

In this case the guy or his family wasn't invited by either the father or by elders of the wife family but rather the wife, her sister and husband want to come return the Bride price which makes absolutely no sense.
Things like this are done for future references cos of kids involved, there is a reason why it is husband family that hand over bride price during marriage and not him but since you dont have personal experience you can't understand once again.



Anyways you shouldn't be seen commenting about things you have absolutely knowledge about.

You are saying nonsense.
No part of this post says;

1) The wife is initiating it alone.
2) The father didn't do the due meeting with the ummunnas.

3) That meeting doesn't involve the ex in-law at this point. The opening post clearly says they are going to the in-laws. I fail to see why you keep insisting for meeting and claiming to know the process.

4) You are the one that knows nothing. Repeating same nonsense that I have addressed to make it look like you have a point.

ceejay80s:
hello guys
a friend came from port Harcourt to see me on 24th morning he was with me till 25th ,
we were at night gisting and I ask about his wife.....
to cut the long story short,

the father in-law is still alive but the wife, sister and her sisters husband called him that they will be coming to his place to return the bride price,
I asked him , who did u give the bride price to?
he said the father, I told him to ignore them until the father in-law calls u or ur father before u go and collect it.

Nairalanders I hope I am right?

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO U ALL

In my culture, there is a middleman whenever a marriage is being contracted; a mediator of sorts. He is the one who gathers information from the bride's family and conveys it to the groom, and vice versa.

When a marriage ends, he is the one who returns the bride price if he is still alive, or someone appointed by the woman's father if he has passed away.

Wives don't return it, fathers-in-law don't, and not even the wife's sisters.

pocohantas:
You are saying nonsense.
No part of this post says;

1) The wife is initiating it alone.
2) The father didn't do the due meeting with the ummunnas.

3) That meeting doesn't involve the ex in-law at this point.

4) You are the one that knows nothing. Repeating same nonsense that I have addressed to make it look like you have a point.

Lol...Firstly get married before putting mouth in things like this.

All what you wrote did you read it in the post aswell??
Am only writing based on the info provided by the OP...I don't do conjectures and assumptions.

Only a foolish father will consent into bride price been returned that way.(even if I want to go with your dumb narrative)

Bobodee09:
Lol...Firstly get married before putting mouth in things like this.

All what you wrote do you read otherwise in the post aswell??
Am only writing based on the info provided by the OP...I don't do conjectures and assumptions.

Only a foolish father will consent into bride price been returned that way.(even if I want to go with your dumb narrative)

If you are responding based on the post of the OP and still surprised that a bride's family goes to return bride price (which is a norm by the way) - then it is pertinent you also pray for the ability to comprehend in addition to common sense in 2025. 🙏

pocohantas:
If you are responding based on the post of the OP and still surprised that a bride's family goes to return bride price (which is a norm by the way) - then it is pertinent you also pray for the ability to comprehend in addition to common sense in 2025. 🙏

Well were I come from a wife, her sister and her husband going to return bride price is most foolishness thing we will ever witness.

If were you come from, a father and his own ummunnas will have a meeting and agree to a wife, her sister and husband going to return bride price then that is a big shame.

Where have you seen women getting involved in traditional marriage or divorce process??

You trying to be clever by half with the bolded.....the wife sis and her husband has no business with process of returning bride price.

When those of us who first hand knowledge about marriage are talking someone like you should be listen and learn cos I don't know wh you even arguing about something you have zero knowledge about?? This doesn’t even require common sense.


I pray you finally get a man to save you from menopause this 2025.....this year won't by pass you by again.

Bobodee09:
Well were I come from a wife, her sister and her husband going to return bride price is most foolishness thing we will ever witness.

This post is not about where you come from.
Take a second to read and comprehend the opening post. Then try commenting again.

pocohantas:
This post is not about where you come from.
Take a second to read and comprehend the opening post. Then try commenting again.

I recommend you take your advise cos it seems you getting delusional.

Op clearly wrote....his friend got a call that his wife ,her sis and husband are coming to return the pride price.

Bobodee09:
I recommend you take your advise cos it seems you getting delusional.

Op clearly wrote....his friend got a call that his wife ,her sis and husband are coming to return the pride price.

Which further buttresses my post that a bride's family makes the return. The eligibility of the return party aside.

When compared to your post below. Who is the humpty dumpty? Who is clueless and who is dull? Or did you fail to comprehend the issue on ground is that the bride's father is not part of the return party? Lol! So much for being knowledgeable.

Bobodee09:
Anyway since you have no personal experience of how marriage is been conducted then no need correcting your dullness.

Reading you saying do i expect the father to embark on a trip to return bride shows how shallow you reason my dear.....so where you come from father of bride makes trip down to son inlaw place to return bride price during divorce??

My dear, you can't use insults to sway me or mask your ignorance on the subject. Take your L and move into 2025.

pocohantas:
Which further buttresses my post that a bride's family makes the return. The eligibility of the return partu aside.

When compared to your post below. Who is the humpty dumpty? Who is clueless and who is dull?



My dear, you can't use insults to sway me or mask your ignorance om the subject.

It seems menopause is beginning to cripple your brian capability ooo.
Was there anywhere anyone argue the fact is the wife family that return pride price?? Are you sure you in right frame of mind...cos that statement sound really awkward.

Once again otodo it is the father or family elders that collect and return bride price....was is it the wife sis or BIL that collected the pride price on the wedding for them to be the one to return it in this case??


Lastly someone who isn't married and have never have personal experience about it is calling someone who is married ignorant on marital subject.
It just go to show how redundant you are honestly.

Bobodee09:
It seems menopause is beginning to cripple your brian capability ooo.
Was there anywhere anyone argue the fact is the wife family that return pride price?? Are you sure you in right frame of mind...cos that statement sound really awkward.

Once again otodo it is the father or family elders that collect and return bride price....was is it the wife sis or BIL that collected the pride price on the wedding for them to be the one to return it in this case??


Lastly someone who isn't married and have never have personal experience about it is calling someone who is married ignorant on marital subject.
It just go to show how redundant you are honestly.

I bet in a rush to remind NL I am single at 40, you didn't read.

1) The topic of this thread is

- Must the father be part of the bride price return team.

My response is NO.

2) To your ignorance.
- Does a bride family go to the ex in-laws to return bride price?

My response is YES. If they fail to return it at the initial meeting in a bid to give the couple room for reconcilitiation, then they have to make that trip.

It is interesting you are now claiming not to have argued the bride's family goes for the return trip even with your post in full view. Obviously you came here to attack my menopause. But hey, you can't hide ignorance behind insults. So leave all these insults you have been throwing upandan. If it didn't dey, it didn't dey. 😂😂😂

pocohantas:
I bet in a rush to remind NL I am single at 40, you didn't read.

1) The topic of this thread is

- Must the father be part of the bride price return team.

My response is NO.

2) To your ignorance.
- Does a bride family go to the ex in-laws to return bride price?

My response is YES. If they fail to return it at the initial meeting in a bid to give the couple room for reconcilitiation, then they have to make that trip.

It is interesting you are now claiming not to have argued the bride's family goes for the return trip even with your post in full view. Obviously you came here to attack my menopause. But hey, you can't hide ignorance behind insults. So leave all these insults you have been throwing upandan. If it didn't dey, it didn't dey. 😂😂😂

Aunty all isn't well with you oooo and am beginning to be scared for you.

The topic of the thread clearly read...."who is eligible to return bride price" and not the delusional topic you created.

You seems lost ........you need some serious mental attention.

Bobodee09:
Aunty all isn't well with you oooo and am beginning to be scared for you.

The topic of the thread clearly read...."who is eligible to return bride price" and not the delusional topic you created.

You seems lost ........you need some serious mental attention.

My dear, rest. You no get talk.
Some of us responded even before the topic was edited by a mod. That is why a sensible human should read through. Not be foaming in the mouth like an attack dog.

pocohantas:
My dear, rest. You no get talk.
Some of us responded even before the topic was edited by a mod. That is why a sensible human should read through. Not be foaming in the mouth like an attack dog.

Once again you are delusional and need serious mental health help.

It no one fault your being an old hag with no family of your own at your age.

Stop putting mouth in marital dicussions.

Lastly only a father and family elders collect and return bride price....only those who aren't married will argue this fact.

Bobodee09:
Once again you are delusional and need serious mental health help.

It no one fault your being an old hag with no family of your own at your age.

Stop putting mouth in marital dicussions.

Lastly only a father and family elders collect and return bride price....only those who aren't married will argue this fact.

You should have focused on this and leave the topic at hand. Na this one be your main pain point. 😂😂😂😂😂

pocohantas:
You should have focused on this and leave the topic at hand. Na this one be your main pain point. 😂😂😂😂😂

Actually I just feel for your parents....😁😆😆😆🤣

Bobodee09:
Actually I just feel for your parents....😁😆😆😆🤣

They appreciate it.😃

pocohantas:
They appreciate it.😃

What choice do they have.......🤣.

Make God no sha give anyone this kin child.

Bobodee09:
What choice do they have.......🤣.
Make God no sha give anyone this kin child.

No better choice. Definitely not the one your parents are stuck with - you. 😃

pocohantas:
No better choice. Definitely not the one your parents are stuck with - you. 😃

Well my parents already getting retun on investment.

Married, 2 kids and sending them money.



Imagining have a female child of 40yr....not married and no kids.

God abeg oooo....I reject it for my generation.

Bobodee09:
Well my parents already getting retun on investment.

Married, 2 kids and sending them money.


Imagining have a female child of 40yr....not married and no kids.

God abeg oooo....I reject it for my generation.

Amen o. May we not also have married kids that go online to insult others. Better to be single in peace than an e-nuisance.

Cash or transfer?
OP, e dey like na u be that your friend.
Drop aza make dem transfer the money.
Make e no be say the girl don jam on IJGB wey wan japa with the girl and una wan block her star cuz if not why open thread abt money wey dem wan refund you.
Wetin dey sup OP?
Una get luck sef say dem wan give una refund, for some families, nobody send you or your kinsmen message.

ceejay80s:
I hear u but u hear me....
none of them where standing there when it was paid, how can ur own brother in-law return ur bride price, I don't know the state u are from but u can't do that in anambra except the dad is no longer alive or far away the first son is in position to do so

It is only the woman's or man's consent is needed before a bride price can be returned to the man or collected from the woman. Father in-laws consent is inconsequential.

Marriage is not a do or die affair. Once things fall apart in marriage and it reaches where bride price is asked to be returned or collected, don't be a stumbling block. Go there quickly to collect your money back for you to have peace. So that if you people meet again you can remarry each again

In Anambra State one father in-law returned a bride price of his daughter thru transfer to his son in-law account.

Case closed.