₦airaland Forum

Bobodee09:
A close friend of mine fell into this trap few years ago. His first child is an 8yr old girl, followed by a boy who is 6yrs old now. About 3yrs ago, he had another boy. I then told him that he shouldn't have gone for the 3rd child. Lo and behold he had another one a year after. At this point l was angry with him and the wife. He was forced to tell me that his wife, a graduate for that matter was opposed to family planning. As l write this, the guy is planning to leave home because the wife wants to kill him with financial demands. I don't even know whether to pity the simp or laugh at him.

Most times I don't like arguing this things cos it like you women never be accountable for anything.

So having those kids was actually only the man decision The woman didn't want them to be 4 ,the man was constantly raping her.

They just gave birth to the children last night and since he went broke due to the economy he should killed 2 out of those kids so he can take of wife and the remaining 2 according to you.


It very easy to know someone like you isn't married.


No this fact today, left to most men just having 1 or 2 kids is enough but it is women who clamor for more kids in marriage.

Jennyclay:
Why would he have 4 kids when he knows he’s broke and poor

Gone are those when people born as many as possible.

Take care of your wife and have just 1 or 2 kids that you can cater for without stress. Simple!!

pocohantas:
Abeg o.

His post clearly said the man took loans to meet a standard. Doesn't seem like his wife persuaded him. However, I do agree that men should take care of their health and themselves. I am an advocate of 2kids. I don't think a middle class home even in the 90s could afford 4 kids and it is worse now that middle class has been stylishly eradicated. Most importantly, a wife that supports or at least knows to manage the available resources.

Bobodee09:
He had choice.
He put himself under unnecessary pressure by taking up loans.

See one thing have learnt is one needs to reduce standards when the going get tougher.

Not been able to meet up made him worried and his BP got bad.

Imagine taking up loans and he was spending it on fueling cars and generator etc just to maintain certain lifestyles . That was a bad move.

ibechris:
Be calming down young girl.
Life happens and people are consume in it. That is why there is a local parlance in this nation where they say,may Nigeria not happen to u.

When u grow up,u will see why we are called men.

Bobodee09:
This advise goes especially to married men and men in general.

Don't put yourself under unnecessary pressure or take up loans to maintain a certain lifestyle.

I just lost an area senior bros this morning, the news didn't come as shock cos he has been in the hospital for a while and his BP refused to come down.

He is man in his late 40's married with 4 kids. This man was under alot of pressure to meet end means, he took up too many loans just to maintain his living standards to please his family.

The last time I visited him in general I also checked my BP and it was very high, I was also under pressure myself to meet target.
When I got home I promised myself I wont die young to please anyone.
I will do my best and leave the rest cos at the end no one really care all they want to do is take from you as a man.

Married men enjoy yourself, take care of yourself, buy what you want. You can't be working everyday and be suffering to please your wife and kids.

The men who die young are the ones who always labour and don't take care of themselves, you see men who only provide what they have and take care of themselves they live longer.

We are in this mess together trust me....those people you think are doing better have alot of loans on their neck. So don't let anyone push you by comparing you to them.

If what you provide isnt enough or appreciated tell your wife to also provide or take her leave.

Acidosis:
Ahah...

Yeah, I read the loan part. I guess he was used to a style of living and wasn't ready to return to trenches, which is why he went for the loan. I wouldn't blame him too much, sha, knowing that many families have already lowered their spending, and returning to the village is simply not an option. It's an unfortunate situation.

McLizbae:
You sound unconscious. Or, may be you are not in touch with the reality that is currently on ground in Nigeria.

Many men who can luxuriously take care of their family just in 2019 (right here) are currently struggling to provide the basic needs.

With all sense of responsibility, we must all accept that the economy disaster that befell Nigeria (and keep rising cost of living exponentially) from 2021 till date, was unpredictable! The amount you bring home in 2019, and your family feed fat on, is no more enough to to provide necessity now, even when tripled. Even couples that started in 2019 and later, and with 1 or no kids yet are making major adjustments to cope.

Sonnobax15:

Seconded

Courtesy of us,the young and single guys who are still facing unnecessary pressure from the evil hands of Nigerian bannies

But God no go allow Dem kpai us

Fidecoo:
,

Over 200k you said??


Sir, I dey run millions, I swear I couldn't buy myself just a pair of Jean trouser👖 or even a sandal throughout last year.

Acidosis:
Ahah...

Yeah, I read the loan part. I guess he was used to a style of living and wasn't ready to return to trenches, which is why he went for the loan. I wouldn't blame him too much, sha, knowing that many families have already lowered their spending, and returning to the village is simply not an option. It's an unfortunate situation.

Jennyclay:
Why would he have 4 kids when he knows he’s broke and poor

Gone are those when people born as many as possible.

Take care of your wife and have just 1 or 2 kids that you can cater for without stress. Simple!!

happney65:
No take care of yourself. Wa kan ku tueee

ibechris:
U are alone on this.

Nigerian women are still the best,because I married one of them and she is my beloved wife.

Bobodee09:
Is so bad that has a married man you can't even buy yourself new wears.

Throughout last year I couldn't get myself a new set of jeans trouser even tho I needed it badly despite having the money.
All the money I made last year 90% when into paying bills and household expenses.
It so crazy how you has a man you will have over 200k in your acc and you be scared to even buy yourself something of 10k cos of fear of the unknown.
In all of this my wife and kids still has many clothes they haven't worn I paid for you.

Last weekend my wife bought herself over 10 new shirt and when I saw it I reminded her how I couldn't even buy myself new jean....she told me nah me no wan buy nah.
It really hurt me cos whatever money I make the family expenses come first before my own personal needs but it isn't same for women.

I just feel marriage is design for men to suffer honestly.
People just taking from you and no one really care about what you need.

Jennyclay:
Why would he have 4 kids when he knows he’s broke and poor

Gone are those when people born as many as possible.

Take care of your wife and have just 1 or 2 kids that you can cater for without stress. Simple!!

IyanAtiEgusi:
Why ur papa still poor?
very local girl

Gerrard59:
No excuses, sir. Why should a man have four children in the first place? No matter how things are horrible, it is easier to manage with a child or two than four. That is an undeniable fact.

Any man who has four children then complains afterwards is to be blamed. There are a thousand and one ways to prevent childbearing. Nigerians should learn to be responsible for their lives. Everything is in their hands. This is not Tinubu or Jonathan. People should learn to be responsible for their lives. The country is hard, okay, why you go born four children? Is that Tinubu's fault?

tiswell:
You better focus on the topic in context and take advice

Ndi beloved wife

Tomorrow you go hang yasef wen ya beloved wife go shock you

onyxo76:
This is true reflection of the average family man's life in this current dispensation.
One just has to avoid financial stess by all means, today I told my wife that we need a new inveter battery for the inverter, and I need her support ,she said she's giving her salary as first fruit to church this month, I told her I'm not going to keep fueling generator every night, na she kuku dey carry chutch doctrine for head.
I no go kill myself over anything again.

Godwin4444:
this your analysis is flawed

Many Nigerian men graduate from school late 20's, they serve n start hustle early 30's. If u didn't do fraud or from rich family it is 30's that u will try to b stable which it's not everyone that gets lucky to b stable in their 30's.

N besides where will d 30 million come from cos u present it as if there's a place people can collect 30 million

Bobodee09:
Well you part of the lucky ones out there.

Most of us need to really sweat it out to make the cash every month.

djon78:
Your wife is right
Na you no want buy

There's what we call budget in a home
If you manage your house expenses
Well. You will still have something to take care of yourself.

Don't go on punishing yourself
You have no excuse for that

adalame:
If you can't take care of wife and kids, remain single forever. That's the best way to take care of yourself.

Godwin4444:
this your analysis is flawed

Many Nigerian men graduate from school late 20's, they serve n start hustle early 30's. If u didn't do fraud or from rich family it is 30's that u will try to b stable which it's not everyone that gets lucky to b stable in their 30's.

N besides where will d 30 million come from cos u present it as if there's a place people can collect 30 million