₦airaland Forum

Taal17:
Find out about your HR policies.

Or get your doctor to provide a letter and take FMLA. It's federal govt protected leave, your job would be protected. I think FMLA is up to 12 weeks.

Find out about it

You have to be alive to work o. So pls put yourself first and get back to yourself biko.
The US makes you feel like you have to work till you grind yourself like crayfish lol.

12inchess:
Hello nairalanders I know to a lot of Nigerians who have never left the country this may sound funny. But I'm indeed frustrated with my life in America. I moved to America as a student in 2016 for masters in an engineering degree and after about 7 years I obtained a U.S Greencard. I work a middle income job with the government and I'm here with my Nigerian wife. I have faced a series of health challenges since I got here and some have been resolved and some additionally ones have cropped in with the latest being depression and extreme fatigue. Currently I'm on antidepressants but I'm still depressed and frustrated. My job is not that taxing but I wish I could do more save for the extreme fatigue that the doctors have not been able to resolve. I wish I could hustle harder but my health is not allowing me to. I feel also very sad and lonely living in the U.S as it's only me and my wife and I dont really have any friends. Everyone here always mind their business and its tough building any meaningful relationships. I have toyed with the idea of moving back to Nigeria in my head since America has not been all I hoped it will be for me but my wife does not want to and she quickly reminds me of the employment suitation in Nigeria and how it is me that made her come here in the first place. She kind of prefers it here. We have no kids yet so that is one additional information. I'm just venting and frustrated and I hope maybe some Nairalanders can come to my aid. Additional information. I dont come from a rich family that has money sitting in the bank and its me and my own. We just bought a house on a 30 year mortgage so we pretty stuck with paying the debt for 30 years but I don't know how I'd live here for 30 years. Just looking for someone with experience to share ideas with since I have no one. I feel stuck. Please no insults

12inchess:
I don't know what that is.

Zzyco:
For your anxiety do you feel your hands shaking? Like do you find it difficult holding things without quivering, when you stretch your fingers do you they are vibrating?

12inchess:
Hello nairalanders I know to a lot of Nigerians who have never left the country this may sound funny. But I'm indeed frustrated with my life in America. I moved to America as a student in 2016 for masters in an engineering degree and after about 7 years I obtained a U.S Greencard. I work a middle income job with the government and I'm here with my Nigerian wife. I have faced a series of health challenges since I got here and some have been resolved and some additionally ones have cropped in with the latest being depression and extreme fatigue. Currently I'm on antidepressants but I'm still depressed and frustrated. My job is not that taxing but I wish I could do more save for the extreme fatigue that the doctors have not been able to resolve. I wish I could hustle harder but my health is not allowing me to. I feel also very sad and lonely living in the U.S as it's only me and my wife and I dont really have any friends. Everyone here always mind their business and its tough building any meaningful relationships. I have toyed with the idea of moving back to Nigeria in my head since America has not been all I hoped it will be for me but my wife does not want to and she quickly reminds me of the employment suitation in Nigeria and how it is me that made her come here in the first place. She kind of prefers it here. We have no kids yet so that is one additional information. I'm just venting and frustrated and I hope maybe some Nairalanders can come to my aid. Additional information. I dont come from a rich family that has money sitting in the bank and its me and my own. We just bought a house on a 30 year mortgage so we pretty stuck with paying the debt for 30 years but I don't know how I'd live here for 30 years. Just looking for someone with experience to share ideas with since I have no one. I feel stuck. Please no insults

DrDoc:
➜Try attending churches nau. After that support groups and the likes and before you know it, you have company. Don't do life alone

12inchess:
➜I'm no longer very religious.

Plus10:
Genuinely surrender your life to Christ if you had not , trust me He would come to your aid!

12inchess:
➜I know that. I was in Nigeria in 2023. But I virtually miss home. I am homesick AGAIN. You wouldn't understand if you've not lived abroad for long. I am the one wearing the shoe and I know where it's pinching me.

12inchess:
No.its more mental and no physical symptoms

12inchess:
Part of the health issues I am having is fertility issues.

12inchess:
➜Part of the health issues I am having is fertility issues.

Zzyco:
➜ Discuss with your GP, Lithium antidepressants may have a slight role in fertility. I guess this is where the underlying issue emanates from. Nigeria man no dey get depression, even if he goes to prison we are not wired that way man. ➜ Find an African church first, connect with them, work for charity and you will realise you have a lot of energy within you to do more things. Secondly, leave this oyibo food, find Eba, eat Nigeria meals only for one month. Go for walks in the evening with your partner, confess positive words into your day when you wake up every morning. Profess strength, happiness and joy. Say words like today I have every reason to be happy, I am a strong Nigerian man, nothing stops me. Lastly, the Bible has everything you need, God has not given you the spirit of fear(depression) but of power, love and sound mind! (2 Timothy 1:7)

PeachtreeReside:
➜ Seen a therapist?Those antidepressants though.... Sending you loads of strength and healing. You can still talk to God or journal your feelings. It does help.

12inchess:
➜ Most of the advanced treatments have failed but the fertility issues is not the reason I'm sad and lonely. In fact I fear taking additional responsibility in the name of kids given my physical and mental state. And to those who are asking why are turned irreligious. It's simple. I found out I wasn't gaining much from church.

Tohsynetita1:
➜ Why are you taking antidepressants?

Helpout12345:
➜ Exactly. Those American antidepressants hardly solve the problem. They are just there to manage it for the rest of your life, if they don't even make your situation more worse. I am not a doctor but this is my observation in the US.

12inchess:
➜ I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression.

Kobojunkie:
Stop lying to him. I took anti-depressants for many years and I can swear by them any day that they were the best things that ever happened to me as the depressed soul I was before it all.

By the way, antidepressants are not meant to "solve the problem". Rather, they are to help people with mental illness manage their condition so that they can live a life that at least comes close to the one they prefer. Give them more control over an otherwise uncontrollable situation that is mental illness. If the mental illness is there for all of your life, what would you rather the mentally ill do? Refuse to use what is at least available to help them live a more comfortable life.

Helpout12345:
➜ I am not lieing to him. I just dropped my observation. And you further buttress my observation in your reply.
➜He needs more outdoors, sun and gratefulness.

12inchess:
No.its more mental and no physical symptoms

My job is not that taxing but I wish I could do more save for the extreme fatigue that the doctors have not been able to resolve.

12inchess:
Part of the health issues I am having is fertility issues.

12inchess:
No.its more mental and no physical symptoms

12inchess:
Hello nairalanders I know to a lot of Nigerians who have never left the country this may sound funny. But I'm indeed frustrated with my life in America. I moved to America as a student in 2016 for masters in an engineering degree and after about 7 years I obtained a U.S Greencard. I work a middle income job with the government and I'm here with my Nigerian wife. I have faced a series of health challenges since I got here and some have been resolved and some additionally ones have cropped in with the latest being depression and extreme fatigue. Currently I'm on antidepressants but I'm still depressed and frustrated. My job is not that taxing but I wish I could do more save for the extreme fatigue that the doctors have not been able to resolve. I wish I could hustle harder but my health is not allowing me to. I feel also very sad and lonely living in the U.S as it's only me and my wife and I dont really have any friends. Everyone here always mind their business and its tough building any meaningful relationships. I have toyed with the idea of moving back to Nigeria in my head since America has not been all I hoped it will be for me but my wife does not want to and she quickly reminds me of the employment suitation in Nigeria and how it is me that made her come here in the first place. She kind of prefers it here. We have no kids yet so that is one additional information. I'm just venting and frustrated and I hope maybe some Nairalanders can come to my aid. Additional information. I dont come from a rich family that has money sitting in the bank and its me and my own. We just bought a house on a 30 year mortgage so we pretty stuck with paying the debt for 30 years but I don't know how I'd live here for 30 years. Just looking for someone with experience to share ideas with since I have no one. I feel stuck. Please no insults