₦airaland Forum

Wickedfacts:
➜Let her go. You are stressed because you are begging her. A man should NEVER beg a woman to stay.
Pastor Jerry Eze of Nsppd held a program in TBS in Lagos, it is ladies that full there. All of them are looking for husbands.

Isn't that the same silly man who tells women that they can find men who would marry them in 2 minutes, pay for everything, and upgrade their lives while at it? Una never see wetin dey really do una. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Remember that your life and mental wellbeing must always come first before anything if you intend to live long.

Have you ever wondered why the men classified as irresponsible men live longer?

Kobojunkie:
Isn't that the same silly man who tells women that they can find men who would marry them in 2 minutes, pay for everything, and upgrade their lives while at it? Una never see wetin dey really do una. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Well, I never heard him say that cos I don't even have patience to listen to a pastor that barbs punk with long chain and posts gym videos.

But what I know is that for every woman who is stressing her man and threatening to leave, there are a dozen women willing to take her place.

RealityKings1:
➜Remember that your life and mental wellbeing must always come first before anything if you intend to live long.
➜Have you ever wondered why the men classified as irresponsible men live longer?

... and that of his child should come first. This man has a child so he has to also cater to the life and mental wellbeing of his child at the same time as his.

2. Irresponsible men/women live longer irresponsible lives. That shouldn't be something any reasonable individual should strive for.

Wickedfacts:
➜Well, I never heard him say that cos I don't even have patience to listen to a pastor that barbs punk with long chain and posts gym videos.
➜But what I know is that for every woman who is stressing her man and threatening to leave, there are a dozen women willing to take her place.

Dude, all of your religious gods(traditional leaders included) of men do the same thing. Why else do you think that their churches are mostly filled with women? They promise women heaven by way of marriage.

2. And you think that finding another woman will cause OP's issues to disappear? What is instead likely to happen is that OP will begin to normalize the same stress that drove him from his previous woman. Before long, health problems, etc. also become his normal. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Kobojunkie:
... and that of his child should come first. This man has a child so he has to also cater to the life and mental wellbeing of his child at the same time as his.

2. Irresponsible men/women live longer irresponsible lives. That shouldn't be something any reasonable individual should strive for.

This is the part people try to shy away from. The children are the creation of both of husband and wife, but unfortunately no matter how much that man toils to care for the children... When the time comes for them to give their parents attention or gifts, the mother will always get more..

I will never trade my happiness and mental health to be stucked in a place just because I want to be seen a responsible / reasonable guy 😂 while the woman makes me pass through hell.

RealityKings1:
➜This is the part people try to shy away from. The children are the creation of both of husband and wife, but unfortunately no matter how much that man toils to care for the children... When the time comes for them to give their parents attention or gifts, the mother will always get more..
➜I will never trade my happiness and mental health to be stucked in a place just because I want to be seen a responsible / reasonable guy 😂 while the woman makes me pass through hell.

This is one of the major reasons why I believe that Nigerians don't know how to love their children. How can a person base the decision regarding the proper raising of a child on whether or not the child would, when he finally becomes an adult, give him gifts or not? No wonder Nigeria reports that well over 8 million children roam its streets every day and night.

2. This isn't about being stuck in a place but taking responsibility for the child you helped bring into this world. Again, OP has a child and so loses the right to be irresponsible in my eyes. If there was no child involved, I wouldn't even care if he decided to jump off a plane or anything.

Kobojunkie:
This is one of the major reasons why I believe that Nigerians don't know how to love their children. How can a person make a decision based on the proper raising of a child or not on whether or not the child would, when he finally becomes an adult, give him gifts or not? No wonder Nigeria reports that well over 8 million children roam its streets every day and night.

2. This isn't about being stuck in a place but taking responsibility for the child you helped bring into this world. Again, OP has a child and so loses the right to be irresponsible in my eyes. If there was no child involved, I wouldn't even care if he decided to jump off a plane or anything.

The report was not 8 million children, it was 10 million Almajiri children. The issue of Almajiri children is a different case entirely and doesn't fit into this position.

The question is this, would you trade your sanity and health just to be seen as a responsible woman?

Tit4Tat1:
You don't have to break a bank to go on a vacation..

Organize a sleepover during the weekends in one of the hotels in ur town with good facilities like swimming games etc...

Recently in Nigeria, if you continuou to sleep from hotel to hotel every weekend, chances of you getting killed in a year are high

RealityKings1:
➜The question is this, would you trade your sanity and health just to be seen as a responsible woman?

Again, the way I see it is this. If a one is single and without a child then that person has the right to be irresponsible. ( Of course, if such a person commits a crime, he should not hold any hopes of escaping the long arm of the law.) However, the moment one chooses to bring a child into this world, that person becomes responsible for the welfare and care of that child. And this responsibility is regardless of this person's sanity and health.

RealityKings1:
➜The report was not 8 million children, it was 10 million Almajiri children. The issue of Almajiri children is a different case entirely and doesn't fit into this position.

Wrong! The homeless children in Nigeria are not just Almajiris. 😏

There are millions of non-Almajiri children abandoned in the South as well. Some of them are runaways who had to escape horrible situations at home, others are kids who were not claimed by family members after a guardian passed, and others were intentionally abandoned by their fathers and/or mothers. Southerners like to pretend that those children are invisible when the truth is they are as much as problem as the Almajiri situation from the and up north.

Kobojunkie:
Dude, all of your religious gods(traditional leaders included) of men do the same thing. Why else do you think that their churches are mostly filled with women? They promise women heaven by way of marriage.

They are all merchants of hope. They peddle hope to the gullible. The Christians, Muslims, Traditional religious worshippers all do it.
The problem most women have is either in finding men or retaining men. Any one offering hope in that line will make a killing. Na sure odd.

Kobojunkie:
And you think that finding another woman will cause OP's issues to disappear? What is instead likely to happen is that OP will begin to normalize the same stress that drove him from his previous woman. Before long, health problems, etc. also become his normal. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Finding another woman will either make him appreciate his ex or make his ex appreciate him.

But seeing as that is post-mortem, he will do better. Seeing that he exercised his power of choice in his previous relationship, his new woman can do anything but one thing she won't do is to threaten divorce.

Veggieseeddies:
Recently in Nigeria, if you continuou to sleep from hotel to hotel every weekend, chances of you getting killed in a year are high

More people die from Okada accidents in a single day than hotel murder incidents in 5 years.

UGM kills more people every month than hotel incidents in 10 years.

Wickedfacts:
➜ Finding another woman will either make him appreciate his ex or make his ex appreciate him.
But seeing as that is post-mortem, he will do better. Seeing that he exercised his power of choice in his previous relationship, his new woman can do anything but one thing she won't do is to threaten divorce.

With this kind of reasoning, you wonder why many men are eventually abandoned in their old age. Please wake up from this abeg! 🙄

Kobojunkie:
Again, the way I see it is this. If a one is single and without a child then that person has the right to be irresponsible. ( Of course, if such a person commits a crime, he should not hold any hopes of escaping the long arm of the law.) However, the moment one chooses to bring a child into this world, that person becomes responsible for the welfare and care of that child. And this responsibility is regardless of this person's sanity and health.

If an Individuals mental health isn't right,
the government or society can actually take over the kids pending the time the individual recovers.

That aside, every man wants to give their kids a good childhood and that can only be achieved when his effort are complimented / supported and recognised no matter how little.

Kobojunkie:
With this kind of reasoning, you wonder why many men are eventually abandoned in their old age. Please wake up from this abeg! 🙄

It is fear of abandonment that makes men spend their lives living with women who don't want their happiness.

If your wife is making your life hell, let her go. Then, get a Bianca.

Even if you stay with her, she will eventually leave you in your old age and go stay with her kids.

RealityKings1:
➜If an Individuals mental health isn't right, the government or society can actually take over the kids pending the time the individual recovers.
➜That aside, every man wants to give their kids a good childhood and that can only be achieved when his effort are complimented / supported and recognised no matter how little.

1. That is if you live in a socialist society where that is agreed upon by all, right? In many societies, people would rather you abort the child altogether than pretend it is OK for you to burden others with the raising of your own choice — child.

2. I don't follow at all!

Kobojunkie:
Wrong! The homeless children in Nigeria are not just Almajiris. 😏

There are millions of non-Almajiri children abandoned in the South as well. Some of them are runaways who had to escape horrible situations at home, others are kids who were not claimed by family members after a guardian passed, and others were intentionally abandoned by their fathers and/or mothers. Southerners like to pretend that those children are invisible when the truth is they are as much as problem as the Almajiri situation from the and up north.

I live in the Southern region, I don't see any child lurking in the dark looking for where to sleep here.

The good thing is, all these old Yoruba women will call you and ask... "kini oruko e?" "nibo ni ile yin?"
They will even give you food and house you till they can locate your parents.

Wickedfacts:
More people die from Okada accidents in a single day than hotel murder incidents in 5 years.

UGM kills more people every month than hotel incidents in 10 years.

Your baseless opinion to my comment though

Veggieseeddies:
Your baseless opinion to my comment though

We all know what we are doing.

Ya all need to first consider your sanity and health before going into marriage. Let that consideration guide your choice of partner. Not after commitment and bringing children into world, you'll suddenly remember mental health, then use it as yardstick to dump your responsibilities on your partner. Marriage was never promised to be a bed of roses all the time. Both parties have to work out what they want their marriage to be for them. You are the pilot, Mr husband, be incharge, for good and your will enjoy it. Be intentional, and if doesn't work, be man enough to cater for the children you bring into this world, if not...

RealityKings1:
The report was not 8 million children, it was 10 million Almajiri children. The issue of Almajiri children is a different case entirely and doesn't fit into this position.

The question is this, would you trade your sanity and health just to be seen as a responsible woman?

Wickedfacts:
We all know what we are doing.

Until they mine your smiling skull in a hotel, it wont have senses

RealityKings1:
➜I live in the Southern region, I don't see any child lurking in the dark looking for where to sleep here.
➜The good thing is, all these old Yoruba women will call you and ask... "kini oruko e?" "nibo ni ile yin?" They will even give you food and house you till they can locate your parents.

The reason you don't see them is because you don't want to. They are everywhere. Society has chosen to conveniently wear blinders were they are.

2. Old Yoruba women, many of who cannot feed themselves will do what? Feed all of the orphans in their vicinity? Are you joking?

Angel15:
Ya all need to first consider your sanity and health before going into marriage. Let that consideration guide your choice of partner. Not after commitment and bringing children into world, you'll suddenly remember mental health, then use it as yardstick to dump your responsibilities on your partner. Marriage was never promised to be a bed of roses all the time. Both parties have to work out what they want their marriage to be for them. You are the pilot, Mr husband, be incharge, for good and your will enjoy it. Be intentional, and if doesn't work, be man enough to cater for the children you bring into this world, if not...

Who says marriage can't be a bed of roses?
Did you miss the part where op said the wife has been threatening to leaving the marriage ?

Veggieseeddies:
Until they mine your smiling skull in a hotel, it wont have senses

As I said, we all know what we are doing.

Angel15:
Ya all need to first consider your sanity and health before going into marriage. Let that consideration guide your choice of partner. Not after commitment and bringing children into world, you'll suddenly remember mental health, then use it as yardstick to dump your responsibilities on your partner. Marriage was never promised to be a bed of roses all the time. Both parties have to work out what they want their marriage to be for them. You are the pilot, Mr husband, be incharge, for good and your will enjoy it. Be intentional, and if doesn't work, be man enough to cater for the children you bring into this world, if not...

Thank you!

Kobojunkie:
The reason you don't see them is because you don't want to. They are everywhere. Society has chosen to conveniently wear blinders were they are.

2. Old Yoruba women, many of who cannot feed themselves will do what? Feed all of the orphans in their vicinity? Are you joking?

1. Don't force assumptions

2. How did you know they can't feed themselves?
They came to ask you for food?

RealityKings1:
➜Who says marriage can't be a bed of roses? Did you miss the part where op said the wife has been threatening to leaving the marriage ?

OP forgot to mention why the wife has been threatening to leave though. So, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Kobojunkie:
OP forgot to mention why the wife has been threatening to leave though. So, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Does he need to say? Isn't it obvious?
To build you have to be "committed" obviously she's not interested in commitment.

RealityKings1:
1. Don't force assumptions
2. How did you know they can't feed themselves? They came to ask you for food?

No assumptions are being forced here. This is what happens in pretty much every country where there is no social net to catch the vulnerable— orphans, the homeless, widows, and the old. This really isn't rocket science.

2. Arghh! So, with the dire economic situation and the news of hunger in the land in Nigeria, you are not aware that the most vulnerable people in the society are the older generation as well as the children, particularly those who are orphaned or even abandoned on the streets.

RealityKings1:
➜Does he need to say? Isn't it obvious? To build you have to be "committed" obviously she's not interested in commitment.

Nonsense! Of course, he needs to state it since no two relationships are the same and all of that.

Since he didn't you shouldn't go concluding she is the problem.

Kobojunkie:
No assumptions are being forced here. This is what happens in pretty much every country where there is no social net to catch the vulnerable— orphans, the homeless, widows, and the old. This really isn't rocket science.

2. Arghh! So, with the dire economic situation and the news of hunger in the land in Nigeria, you are not aware that the most vulnerable people in the society are the older generation as well as the children, particularly those who are orphaned or even abandoned on the streets.

Ok ma