₦airaland Forum

chicogentil:
You didn't get the sarcasm.

I didn’t oh.. show me where it is

Yemon:
God bless the Indian marriage system.

Indians are also having the same issue. Infact stories about some trying to kill their wives and family. Bad behavior by men is not tolerated by women once they leave their country’s where the culture and marriage is not favorable to her. Men benefit more from marriage than women. So without society pressure a lot of them will leave.

A lot of men are taught to expect what their father got away with. But they forget they are not marrying their mother and that woman they are marrying may have been more valued than their mother, in their own families. They always assume they can treat all women anyhow. Like their father did. When they find out real life is different from their father’s madness, they set ring light and start crying.

As cheating pain men na so e pain women. But some of you will cheat and still be beating the woman or even bring side chick home. Then you travel with your wife who was your victim in marriage, which you have held hostage abroad to go and continue your madness and degenerate behavior. These people are madmen I tell you.

irumole1975:
In the Nigerian system, the men do most of the heavy financial lifting in the family. But over there, the structure and system requires women to participate in the heavy financial lifting also. So along the line, these 9ja .women begin to get overwhelmed and they begin to loose interest in the man that took them there , because in the first place most of their reasons for settling down weren't from a strong conviction of love for the man, but just some that will lighten their financial burden.

So abroad system puts.. ...that financial burden back on them, then they find out that, they don't even love this man or need him after all. These men are innocent, it's just the women that mostly married for the wrong reason, no body treated them wrongly in Nigeria.

If for anything, the abroad is... helping to expose this Nigerian women and their ulterior motives.
Maybe if they start marrying for the right reason, then there will see that, geographical location has nothing to do here.

I agree with you 100%!

IF ANYTHING HAPPEN TO MY MARRIAGE I AM NOT TRYING THAT SHIT AGAIN

givedemwotowoto:
Be careful who you pick as your wife. She can make or mar you. Do your due diligence and get to know her family better. Don't hurry into making a mistake. I don’t think our society stresses this enough.

This applies to women too. But most of us don't have the luxury of time to do all that due diligence. Besides, many people can hide their ugly part till years into marriage.
So either way, it boils down to luck. Just pray you marry the right person - statistics say you won't but you might get lucky and beat the odds

givedemwotowoto:
Interestingly, many women think they will remarry and have a happier life when they leave their husbands, they don’t know there’s nothing out there for them.

You can't blame them. With the billions of people on Earth, there is a very high probability there's a more perfect fit for them out their

NairalandVDM:
Alright. Aside from childbearing and companionship, marriage is of no benefits to a Man in Nigeria

What do you need childbearing and companionship for?

DaddyCoool:
This applies to women too. But most of us don't have the luxury of time to do all that due diligence. Besides, many people can hide their ugly part till years into marriage.
So either way, it boils down to luck. Just pray you marry the right person - statistics say you won't but you might get lucky and beat the odds

Don’t marry! It’s easier 🤷🏾‍♀️

SAMBARRY:


Because una wan carry una barbaric misogynistic behaviour go another man land.

Because badly behaved men's behaviour is excused because the man has money

Because a lot of naija men believe violence and emotional abuse is the only way to sort out conflicts

Because our mothers focused too much on raising the girls and left the boys forgetting that a well mannered girl in the hands of a mannerless guy is a disaster waiting to happen

Am a guy. But I think you also have a point from the women point of view too

BloomingDale:
There was a social experiment in Britain where young boys and young girls were separated into different apartment for a week. The boys devolved while the girls thrived.

I see feminist PROPAGANDA!

ibedun:
Don’t marry! It’s easier 🤷🏾‍♀️

Easier, yes. Better, no

ibedun:
What do you need childbearing and companionship for?

They make for a BETTER life

irumole1975:
That’s why I advise my male friends that they need to slave for their wives in their marriages. That’s how the marriage can last. Make money just for her. Cook, clean and provide for her. Also, sometimes let her cheat in peace without you harassing her for cheating. That way she will know you truly love her and she won’t leave u

nurse titi he has escaped from yaba left

Hmm😂😂😂 Even in the Bible, do they do strenuous jobs? They're called weaker vessels... Truly, the house chores and taking care of the family is a task on it own. Where men get to face difficulties is lack of family planning! BECAUSE you have a wife, does not mean you should get her pregnant every now and then... Kids can make you broke if you don't plan well! This is aside the lady's needs.

Am a baby father, but I am living very okay with my son by the grace of God. The same mudu of beans, rice and garri that people eat per day, takes me and son a week😛

The same semo family eat in one sitting, takes me and my son 4 days. I can go on, but if they were four, plus their mother,making it 5 and one other family members...when will you not die before your time? Or when will the marriage not scatter?🙄

Eastman20:
It's only an unfortunate man in this era dat will take Nigerian gals abroad esp Igbo gals

Once they get there, they bring out their witchcraft...At d end they will come up with their usual slogan dat d husband is treating her bad

HOW CAN SOMEONE TREAT U BAD BUT BROUGHT U TO ABROAD....PLS I NEED SUCH BAD TREATMENT


Nigerian ladies are very vindictive and cunny...take them abroad and suffer fr it

The best thing is to leave them in Nigeria, although they will be sleeping around but it's better than being kicked out from d house u laboured to get

A man can very much take his wife abroad for selfish reasons. Don't be disingenuous. It happens.

It starts from Nigeria. Alot of igbo men want to marry nurses because they know it's easy for her to get a visa he can jump on.

They come abroad and the wife becomes the cash cow of the family. She gets frustrated and because she can afford to, she leaves the marriage

Later the idiot will start crying that brought his wife abroad and she left him. His ego won't allow him to say he used her visa.

Yes, as much as you all don't want to admit it, men use women for their resources too.

theophorus:
You see ehn, Shebi you self get Brothers and you go still born Boy abi? Hope you will be VERY HAPPY when other Women treat your Brothers and Son(s), the way you treat/or want to treat your Husband?

Back to the Topic, Social media and wokeness did more damages than sharing of Financial responsibilities.
Some of our mothers handled more of the Financials when our Dad's finances hit a rock and our Mothers never divorce them.

Marriage is a Covenant and not a Contract and it is suppose to be a "Till death do Us path" but wokeness has led to lack of Loyalty.

Yinmu.
Our mothers who worked their fingers to the bones, supporting our dads when their finances hit the rocks, how were they rewarded?.
When our fathers eventually crawled out of the rock bottom, they replaced their wives with strange women.
Whoever needs a good supportive wife should just try and get money.
Women no longer marry for love, they marry for money.
A girl who watched her mother suffered will not be ready to suffer again.

eastOFwest:
First, its not pragmatic for an intelligent woman to marry for love alone in Nigeria. Nigeria is a very tough place with so many hazards and not a very female friendly place. A woman needs the protection of a strong or reliable man in a place like Nigeria. Marry for love and then experience abject poverty that will make her lose her sanity and dignity? The situation in Nigeria is not giving women the luxury of making love decisions like that. When the situation in Nigeria improves, the way women choose partners will improve. It wasn't as bad as this in the 60s and 70s when even an office messenger was able to afford to take care of a family and even buy a small Honda or Bentley motorcycle for small flex.

For men living abroad, no matter how nice your wife is, irrespective of whether she was raised in Africa or abroad, make financial decisions based on WHAT YOU CAN AFFORD ON YOUR OWN. Don't fall into that western trap of making financial decisions based on so called "family income" ie, your income plus your wife. No. Take out a mortgage based on what you can afford. If your wife wants to contribute to the deposit or furnishings or buy car out of her own free will, then by all means let her. Make moves based on what YOU can afford because if things go south, and trust me they often do abroad, you will be STUCK. Unable to move out and support yourself and your family at the same time due to high commitments and an uncooperative and sometimes hostile wife. Also, always keep your "vex money" savings handy and away from your wife so that you can easily move into a hotel, short let or air bnb without breaking sweat.

You make me laugh.
The only remedy in the WEST is to avoid marriage altogether. It isn’t critical to life and it’s now a fraud.

BloomingDale:
There was a social experiment in Britain where young boys and young girls were separated into different apartment for a week. The boys devolved while the girls thrived.

ibedun:
I see feminist PROPAGANDA!

I googled it.
Women are naturally better at house-keeping, caring for things, keeping things organized


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gZIwtSfizM?si=rxnDiyyCUyrSk4pf

7lives:
Yinmu.
Our mothers who worked their fingers to the bones, supporting our dads when their finances hit the rocks, how were they rewarded?.
When our fathers eventually crawled out of the rock bottom, they replaced their wives with strange women.
Whoever needs a good supportive wife should just try and get money.
Women no longer marry for love, they marry for money.
A girl who watched her mother suffered will not be ready to suffer again.

Well, you're still less than 25yrs and know nothing about Life.
Please face your studies more.

chiommy123:
You want to share financial responsibility but you don't want to share other responsibilities. Who does that?

This lady needs serious help. Something is wring somewhere or everything is wrong everywhere with her

Yemon:
God bless the Indian marriage system.

Forced marriages, honour killings and acid attacks? Sure.

ibedun:
You make me laugh.
The only remedy in the WEST is to avoid marriage altogether. It isn’t critical to life and it’s now a fraud.

So you just be by yourself? How about sex, companionship, etc?

DaddyCoool:
Easier, yes. Better, no

You will learn. Adapt to the changes, our mothers and the women before them ain’t coming back.

BloomingDale:
There was a social experiment in Britain where young boys and young girls were separated into different apartment for a week. The boys devolved while the girls thrived.

Oshey!
Woke Researcher.
Hope your Mum raised your brother's to be homemaker and hope you're also raising your son(s) to be homemakers too?

The Earlier you realise that Zeros and Ones have special roles, the better.
It will take alot of reordering for the machines to produce same result ones any of the codes changes.

theophorus:
You see ehn, Shebi you self get Brothers and you go still born Boy abi? Hope you will be VERY HAPPY when other Women treat your Brothers and Son(s), the way you treat/or want to treat your Husband?

Back to the Topic, Social media and wokeness did more damages than sharing of Financial responsibilities.
Some of our mothers handled more of the Financials when our Dad's finances hit a rock and our Mothers never divorce them.

Marriage is a Covenant and not a Contract and it is suppose to be a "Till death do Us path" but wokeness has led to lack of Loyalty.

Which one be Covenant?

According to who? The United Nations or ECOWAS?

You people just wake up and start making silly pronouncements.

You can only speak for yourself

Marriage is what the parties make of it.
The world is changing and the function of marriage changes with it

Marriage in a fishing village in 1640 will have very different function from marriage in a military barracks in 2025
Marriage between an okada rider and a recharge card seller would be quite different from a marriage between a Supreme Court Judge and A Surgeon

DaddyCoool:
So you just be by yourself? How about sex, companionship, etc?

When you lose your house, pension, savings and everything you worked for all your life, you will find that sex and companionship are not critical to your existence.

theophorus:
➜You see ehn, Shebi you self get Brothers and you go still born Boy abi? Hope you will be VERY HAPPY when other Women treat your Brothers and Son(s), the way you treat/or want to treat your Husband? Back to the Topic, Social media and wokeness did more damages than sharing of Financial responsibilities.
Some of our mothers handled more of the Financials when our Dad's finances hit a rock and our Mothers never divorce them. Marriage is a Covenant and not a Contract and it is suppose to be a "Till death do Us path" but wokeness has led to lack of Loyalty.

Any man or woman who treats his/her son differently from daughters is already setting up well for failure in relationship, marriage, and life itself.

DaddyCoool:
I googled it.
Women are naturally better at house-keeping, caring for things, keeping things organized


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gZIwtSfizM?si=rxnDiyyCUyrSk4pf

PROPAGANDA planted everywhere in the media. These are made up stories carefully choreographed to support a predetermined narrative.

DaddyCoool:
➜I googled it. Women are naturally better at house-keeping, caring for things, keeping things organized

There is nothing natural about the behavior as it is all learned behavior!

Nobody is born knowing how to clean, be better at housekeeping, care for things, or keep things organized. Everyone can learn these skills if taught or at least introduced to them.

ibedun:
When you lose your house, pension, savings and everything you worked for all your life, you will find that sex and companionship are not critical to your existence.

But what good is it to have everything in the world without people, without someone to share it with?

aribisala0:
Which one be Covenant?

According to who? The United Nations or ECOWAS?

You people just wake up and start making silly pronouncements.

You can only speak for yourself

Marriage is what the parties make of it.
The world is changing and the function of marriage changes with it

Marriage in a fishing village in 1640 will have very different function from marriage in a military barracks in 2025
Marriage between an okada rider and a recharge card seller would be quite different from a marriage between a Supreme Court Judge and A Surgeon

This is actually quite true. Something we don't think about

Ruke1989:
The Nigeria society is full of dull and ignorant folks who generally don't have a personal vision in life but copy other people's life. So they watch nollywood and begin to desire marriage to a prince that can take them out of the village and upgrade their family. Then they come back to the village to pepper their uncle. Haven't you seen that the movies doesn't teach the steps to genuine riches or empower with knowledge. Rather it focuses on sudden twists of fate, occults money, princely heritage and other dull things

Movies/ films (Media in short) is one the vices, so what do you expect?