₦airaland Forum

IHate9jerianss:
If you do not talk to girls,how do you intend to get better with them?Let me guess, "get money & women will come"

luminouz:
My own is that I'm not paying bride price on a woman I didn't deflower. I'm dead serious about that. That's the greatest simping there is. After all her trysts and hard fûcks, she still gets me to pay money on some bride price bullshiit? If she is even from the igbo or Calabar/Akwa ibom side, the BP can be millions.

What exactly am I paying for? BP in old days is about chastity and virginity. She has none and I still reward her folks for her life choices? Tell me why such a woman would ever respect a husband like that. They feel they can eat their cake and one mumu will still reward her for it.

Not me...not luminouz!!!! I WILL NEVER PAY THAT SHIIT

Dpsychologist:
The Myth of "Behind Every Successful Man is a Woman"—Time for a Reality Check

For generations, we’ve heard the saying: "Behind every successful man is a woman." It’s been repeated so often that many take it as fact. But let’s pause and ask: Is this really true? Or is it just another feel-good myth that undermines the hard work and sacrifices of men?

Men Are the Architects of Their Own Success

Success doesn’t happen by accident. It takes years of hard work, sleepless nights, and relentless pursuit of goals. Men build businesses, innovate, compete, and overcome failures—often alone.

To attribute a man’s success to a woman who may or may not have played a role in his journey is dismissive and unfair. Many men achieve greatness before a woman even enters their lives—yet society still insists on crediting someone else for their efforts.

The Hypocrisy of Selective Support

Here’s the truth:

When a man is struggling, he is usually alone.

When he makes mistakes, few women want to be associated with him.

When he is at his lowest, society offers little sympathy.


But the moment he becomes successful, women rush to claim they "stood by him"—even if they met him after his success. This selective support raises a question: Where were they when he was grinding, failing, and sacrificing?

Give Men the Credit They Deserve

It’s time to celebrate men for their hard work, resilience, and accomplishments—without forcing a narrative that credits someone else for what they achieved.

Yes, a good partner can provide emotional support, but success is a personal journey. No one should feel obligated to credit their achievements to another person just because it fits a social cliché.

Final Thoughts

Men succeed because of their drive, vision, and determination—not because of an automatic, unseen force working behind them. Let’s stop diminishing their efforts with outdated phrases and start giving credit where it’s due.

If a woman contributes to a man’s success, that’s commendable. But let’s not pretend that every successful man owes his achievements to a woman. Men work hard, and they deserve to be recognized for it—period.

Dpsychologist:
If you’re not ready for:

Constant financial responsibilities

Dealing with in-laws & family expectations

Raising kids while still building yourself


Then don’t rush into marriage. Take your time to build yourself first—mentally, emotionally, and financially. Because once you commit, you can’t just walk away when things get tough.

Marriage isn’t a race. Be smart about it.

Dpsychologist:
In today’s world, the idea of rushing into marriage is one that many men are beginning to rethink. Gone are the days when a man felt pressured to tie the knot simply because "it's the next step in life." Now, men are realizing that marriage is not just a romantic affair—it’s a serious financial and emotional investment.

If you're thinking about getting married too soon, pause and ask yourself:

Are you financially stable enough to handle the responsibilities that come with marriage?

Do you truly understand the expectations society places on a husband?

Are you ready for constant billings, responsibilities, and liabilities?

Because if you’re not, you might just be signing up for a lifetime of stress, debt, and regret.


1. Marriage Comes with Heavy Responsibilities

Marriage is not just love and companionship. It’s a full-time job, and if you're not ready, it can break you.

Financial Pressure: In most societies, men are still expected to be the primary providers. Rent, school fees, groceries, emergencies—you name it.

Emotional Burden: A wife expects support, care, attention, and time. If you fail in these, you become the bad guy.

Family Expectations: Marriage isn’t just between two people; you’re also marrying her family. Be ready for in-laws, extended family billings, and responsibilities you never planned for.

The Real Cost of Marriage

A wedding is one day, but marriage is for life. And if you're not properly set up, you might fall into deep financial struggles just to keep things together.

You think you're just paying for the wedding? No, you're also paying for a lifetime of needs and expectations.

You think you'll be splitting bills equally? Wait until you realize most of the financial burden will fall on you.

You think love will be enough? It won’t. When bills pile up, love alone can’t save you.


2. Why Many Men Are Rushing Into Marriage (And Why They Regret It Later)

A lot of men rush into marriage due to:

Societal pressure – Everyone around you is getting married, so you feel you should too.

Fear of being alone – You think marriage will solve loneliness, but it can make it worse if you marry the wrong person.

Emotional manipulation – Some women pressure men into marriage through pregnancy, guilt-tripping, or ultimatums.

Fast forward a few years, and many of these men realize they were not ready. Suddenly, they feel trapped in a cycle of never-ending responsibilities and financial drain.


3. The Truth About Billings, Liabilities, and Expectations

Before marriage, many men assume they’ll be partners in everything. But in reality, marriage can feel like a one-sided responsibility.

Household expenses? Mostly on the man.

Medical emergencies? Man’s problem.

School fees for kids? Man’s headache.

Extended family issues? Man’s responsibility.

Even if you and your wife agreed to share financial burdens, things change once kids come into the picture. Suddenly, the woman "can't contribute as much" because she's focused on raising the children, leaving you to handle everything alone.


4. Why You Should Take Your Time Before Marrying

If you’re not ready for:

Constant financial obligations

Emotional and mental stress

Limited personal freedom

Handling in-laws and family drama

Then don’t rush into marriage.

Take your time to build yourself financially, emotionally, and mentally before committing. Because once you enter, there’s no easy way out.

Final Point: Build Before You Commit

Marriage can be a beautiful thing—if you’re ready for it. But if you rush in unprepared, you’re only setting yourself up for stress, financial struggles, and regret.

So before you say "I do," make sure you’re truly ready for the responsibilities and realities that come with it. Because once you step in, billings and liabilities become part of your daily life—whether you like it or not.

Cc seun nlfpmod

Dpsychologist:
Let’s be honest—how do we convince young women that being a good girl pays when all they see online is men throwing millions at bad girls?

Everywhere you look—Instagram, TikTok, Twitter—you see women showing off luxury lifestyles:

✅ Exotic vacations
✅ Designer bags
✅ Expensive cars
✅ Wads of cash

The question is: Where is the money coming from?

Many young girls today believe their beauty is a business, that being a “baddie” is a career, and that selling themselves to the highest bidder is the fastest way to wealth. But what’s the real cost of this lifestyle?

1. Social Media is a Lie

The truth is, social media glorifies the fast life but hides the consequences. Young girls only see the rewards, not the:

❌ Emotional emptiness
❌ Reputation damage
❌ Lack of real love and security
❌ Dependence on men who see them as disposable

A 16-year-old scrolling through Instagram doesn’t know that many of these so-called “rich baddies” are secretly depressed, abused, and alone. She only sees the money.

2. The Dating Market Has Changed

Let’s be real: men are not blind. The more women treat relationships as business transactions, the more men refuse to take them seriously.

Men are waking up. They’re learning that:

✔ A woman who only values money will leave when it runs out.
✔ A woman who gives herself to the highest bidder loses long-term respect.
✔ The same men throwing money today will marry a woman with real values tomorrow.

At the end of the day, men respect what is rare. And right now, being a "good girl" is rare.

3. The Fast Life Has an Expiration Date

Prostitution, sugar baby culture, and hookup lifestyles have always existed. But what happens when beauty fades?

Many women who chase fast money end up broke, bitter, and alone.

🚨 Where are the 40-year-old slay queens?
🚨 Why do many ex-"baddies" disappear from social media?
🚨 Why do rich men rarely marry the women they spend money on?

Because once the fun is over, reality hits hard.

Final Thoughts: Choose Wisely

For young men: Stop simping. Stop rewarding women who only see you as a bank account. Focus on becoming a high-value man who can attract women who bring real value.

For young women: Think long-term. Fast money is exciting, but real power comes from stability, self-respect, and building something that lasts.

At the end of the day, money can buy attention, but it can’t buy respect. And without respect, what do you really have?

Magnetic010:
Men are the biggest problem to themselves...Their are a lot of young girls who are jobless, or earn less than 500k a year, who came from poor or very poor background but meet them and talk to them; they will tell you they want a man who has this, that and many more...she doesn't want to settle for less, she wouldn't even date a guy without a car...where do you think she gets that audacity from?....Men...she knows that there are men out that willing to go above and beyond just to get her.

I have been in hospitality business for years now and bro I cannot even begin to tell you what I have witnessed...I have seen guys send 200k to girls just for her to agree to go out with them...I have seen guys buy a higher model of phone for girls just for her to leave who she is currently dating....


After all these madness and waste to get girls..what do you think will happens to their mentality? They become entitled...they feel it is their right to get everything from a man, the world revolves around them.so why expect her to give you her money, or care about your struggles when society and other men have made her understand that she is Queen and only thing she deserves is the "soft life".

Dpsychologist:
Let’s be honest—when it comes to relationships in Nigeria, the financial burden mostly falls on the man. It’s an unspoken rule that the guy should pay for dates, handle bills, send “urgent 2k,” and generally finance the relationship.

But here’s the real question: If your woman never spends on you, does she truly love you?

I’ve always believed that a woman who loves a man will spend on him—even if it’s just a little. It doesn’t have to be millions, but if she values you, she will make an effort to contribute, no matter how small.

Unfortunately, in Nigeria, at least 85% of relationships are completely one-sided financially. The man spends, the woman receives, and that’s just how it is.

But should it really be this way?


1. Are Nigerian Relationships One-Sided Transactions?

A lot of men don’t even question this dynamic. They’ve been raised to believe that being a provider is their duty, while a woman’s role is simply to exist and be taken care of.

Typical Nigerian relationships look like this:
✅ The man pays for dates.
✅ The man sends transport fare.
✅ The man handles rent.
✅ The man funds vacations, gifts, and “small business capital.”
✅ The man even pays her bills when she is not his wife yet!

Meanwhile, many women believe their beauty, presence, and affection are enough “payment” for everything the man does.

But is that love or entitlement? 🤔


2. Love vs. Transactional Relationships: What’s the Difference?

A loving woman naturally gives back in her own way. Even if she doesn’t earn as much, she will show appreciation through small gestures—maybe buying a gift, handling a bill, or just making sure the man feels valued too.

On the other hand, a transactional woman expects the man to do EVERYTHING while she only enjoys the benefits.

Signs of a transactional relationship:
❌ She never spends on you—no matter how small.
❌ She expects you to always pay, even when she has money.
❌ She never surprises you with gifts or thoughtful gestures.
❌ She gets upset when you say “I don’t have money right now.”
❌ She believes it’s a man’s job to provide while she just collects.

At this point, is it still a relationship or just a business arrangement?


3. If She Loves You, She Will Spend on You Too

Many men don’t realize this, but spending is a love language. When a woman truly cares about you, she will:
✅ Buy you small gifts—even if it’s just snacks or perfume.
✅ Pay for lunch sometimes, even if you insist on covering most dates.
✅ Support you when you’re broke instead of vanishing.
✅ Take initiative to make you feel appreciated.

It’s not about 50/50, but about effort. If she truly values you, she will reciprocate in some way.


4. Final Thoughts: Is She in Love or Just Enjoying the Benefits?

A lot of men are in relationships where they are sponsors, not lovers. They think they are being loved, but in reality, they are just being used.

So, ask yourself this: If she never spends on you, does she truly love you?

Or is she just there for the financial benefits?

Let’s discuss in the comments—what’s your experience with this?

ajog1:
You are sounding hypothetical right now!
Your take on BP is true; but societal reality will shift you off your ideal views.

Adasun:
What I need now is guidance on how to go about it...I never enter police matter before talk less of court.

She filed the case under bridge breach of trust

Adasun:
Have anyone done business with woman before?


Omo, the situation I dey now don enter court matter... I need guidance abeg... She gave me money to help her run a business. Unfortunately the business went south...na livestock business.

Aunty said I must pay her money full which I have source and gave her 1/4 of the money since last week...

She arrange police for me o, and took the matter to court. They have fix date for the hearing...


What I need now is guidance on how to go about it...I never enter police matter before talk less of court. The girl carry the matter like say she no know me o.


And Na she say make I help her o



She filed the case under bridge of trust

Hedgefunds:
Bridge of trust meaning You promised something then disappoint her.

Why would you promise someone....
No matter what you dont promise anyone anything.

You claim to help. but promised her a guaranteed return...that not help.

What was the arraingement before money was giving to you

That where we start from...what evidence does she have.?.

Tonnyray:
Get a competent lawyer.

Adasun:
nothing was promised or agreed o...Na just say I get idea for the business o

Arrangements was she gives me money, I help her get the livestock and maintain it.... upon selling, she at her own jurisdiction will find me something...shikena o


Only for some of the livestock to die, couple with low market... That's how we arrived here

Adasun:
Have anyone done business with woman before?


Omo, the situation I dey now don enter court matter... I need guidance abeg... She gave me money to help her run a business. Unfortunately the business went south...na livestock business.

Aunty said I must pay her money full which I have source and gave her 1/4 of the money since last week...

She arrange police for me o, and took the matter to court. They have fix date for the hearing...


What I need now is guidance on how to go about it...I never enter police matter before talk less of court. The girl carry the matter like say she no know me o.


And Na she say make I help her o



She filed the case under bridge of trust

joeeee240:
Fr It really explains everything. Jeshal007 you're not qualified to speak on female nature AT ALL.

Pukkalolo:
The problem isn’t that he’s unqualified to speak on female nature.

The real issue is that many of his redpill “game” messages, along with those of some other guys here, are Westernized and not tailored to African or Nigerian men.

What do I mean by "Westernized"?

Please read open mindedly and slowly. This is will help you understand the reality of seduction or "game" in Nigeria

Most guys study redpill and game concepts written by men in the U.S. and the U.K., then blindly copy-paste them here. Worse, they try applying them to Naija or West African women without realizing that culture matters in seduction.

When I first set out to truly understand women and build my confidence, I approached a large number of them: both in public and within my social circles. And if there’s one thing I can say with certainty, it’s this:

Westernized "game" doesn’t really work here.

Culture and environment shape the way people think and behave—including in seduction. How you attract and seduce a Nigerian woman is different from how you do it with an American woman.

Most guys don’t realize this. That’s why, despite consuming all the redpill and "game" advice, something still isn’t clicking.

America and Nigeria are two different worlds.
In America, parents don’t flog their kids because their culture frowns upon it.

In Nigeria, most of us got flogged by our parents while growing up.

That’s culture for you.

Likewise, what works on a London girl won’t necessarily work on an Afghan girl because they were raised differently.

In America, couples openly kiss and make out in public: it’s normal there.

In Nigeria, public displays of affection are rare because our culture doesn’t encourage it.
That’s why Western redpill “game” that works on American women won’t necessarily work on Naija women.


I’ve gone sexual with quite a number of Naija girls, so I’m speaking from experience. I know the missing piece in most Naija guys’ “game.”
The problem with Westernized game advice is that it’s heavily focused on attraction.

A lot of Naija guys think, “If she’s attracted to me, she’ll sleep with me.”

Well, that might work in America, where an attractive woman might directly sleep with you just because she’s attracted. That’s why typical “game” advice is tailored to Western women.

But Naija girls don’t think that way. At least, not from my personal experience—unless she’s a shameless slut.

Notice the keyword: "shameless."

A lot of Naija girls are sluts, but they aren’t shameless about it. They are low-key. That’s why they won’t act on their attraction and just give a guy sex like that.


Guys have told me, “Pukka, you’re right. This girl seems attracted to me, but she won’t have sex with me.”

My response is:

She’s a Naija girl: she’s ashamed of her attraction for you.

Your job is to make her feel shameless about it. Or more accurately, make her feel sexually comfortable with the idea of sleeping with you.
A lot of Naija girls are attracted to you, but they hide it. You might think she’s just doing shakara, but no—she’s just ashamed of her attraction.

Your goal as a man is simple:

Make her feel comfortable being attracted to you or make her feel shameless about it.
Most guys don’t do this; or worse, they don’t even know how. So they keep losing girls over and over again, despite consuming all this redpill content.

The few legit players and pimps I know get sex—not because of attraction—but because they understand that attraction alone isn't what get them the pussy.


Some guys who roll with me initially assume that I’m just a natural with women: that I simply get stronger attraction from more women, which is why I sleep with them.

But that’s not true.

I’m not a good-looking guy, so I don’t rely on attraction. Instead, when I meet a girl with even the tiny attraction toward me, I build on that.

I make her feel shameless about her attraction and create a sense of comfort around sex.
Because I know that her shamelessness and comfort toward sex—not attraction—is what’s going to get me laid. Basically, I know how to give off a non-judgmental vibe around women.

The Harsh Truth About Attraction in Nigeria

If you’re relying purely on attraction to get laid in Nigeria, you’ll need to approach over 50 to even 100-200 women (or more) before one agrees to sleep with you based solely on attraction.
Most Naija women don’t sleep with men just because they’re attracted to them.

That’s why a lot of Naija girls, directly or indirectly, demand money or financial gifts before going sexual. Because that money or gift acts as a substitute for the sexual comfortableness you failed to create in them.

On the other hand, most legit players and pimps often get sex for free—not because they’re rich or good-looking, but because they know how to make a woman feel shameless or comfortable about sleeping with them.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, a lot of redpill posts on this thread are just copy-paste material from Western sources.

I can tell that many of the guys posting this stuff don’t have real experience with women. They just regurgitate Western redpill theories without adapting them to their own naija reality.

Pukkalolo:
The problem isn’t that he’s unqualified to speak on female nature.

The real issue is that many of his redpill “game” messages, along with those of some other guys here, are Westernized and not tailored to African or Nigerian men.

What do I mean by "Westernized"?

Please read open mindedly and slowly. This is will help you understand the reality of seduction or "game" in Nigeria

Most guys study redpill and game concepts written by men in the U.S. and the U.K., then blindly copy-paste them here. Worse, they try applying them to Naija or West African women without realizing that culture matters in seduction.

When I first set out to truly understand women and build my confidence, I approached a large number of them: both in public and within my social circles. And if there’s one thing I can say with certainty, it’s this:

Westernized "game" doesn’t really work here.

Culture and environment shape the way people think and behave—including in seduction. How you attract and seduce a Nigerian woman is different from how you do it with an American woman.

Most guys don’t realize this. That’s why, despite consuming all the redpill and "game" advice, something still isn’t clicking.

America and Nigeria are two different worlds.
In America, parents don’t flog their kids because their culture frowns upon it.

In Nigeria, most of us got flogged by our parents while growing up.

That’s culture for you.

Likewise, what works on a London girl won’t necessarily work on an Afghan girl because they were raised differently.

In America, couples openly kiss and make out in public: it’s normal there.

In Nigeria, public displays of affection are rare because our culture doesn’t encourage it.
That’s why Western redpill “game” that works on American women won’t necessarily work on Naija women.


I’ve gone sexual with quite a number of Naija girls, so I’m speaking from experience. I know the missing piece in most Naija guys’ “game.”
The problem with Westernized game advice is that it’s heavily focused on attraction.

A lot of Naija guys think, “If she’s attracted to me, she’ll sleep with me.”

Well, that might work in America, where an attractive woman might directly sleep with you just because she’s attracted. That’s why typical “game” advice is tailored to Western women.

But Naija girls don’t think that way. At least, not from my personal experience—unless she’s a shameless slut.

Notice the keyword: "shameless."

A lot of Naija girls are sluts, but they aren’t shameless about it. They are low-key. That’s why they won’t act on their attraction and just give a guy sex like that.


Guys have told me, “Pukka, you’re right. This girl seems attracted to me, but she won’t have sex with me.”

My response is:

She’s a Naija girl: she’s ashamed of her attraction for you.

Your job is to make her feel shameless about it. Or more accurately, make her feel sexually comfortable with the idea of sleeping with you.
A lot of Naija girls are attracted to you, but they hide it. You might think she’s just doing shakara, but no—she’s just ashamed of her attraction.

Your goal as a man is simple:

Make her feel comfortable being attracted to you or make her feel shameless about it.
Most guys don’t do this; or worse, they don’t even know how. So they keep losing girls over and over again, despite consuming all this redpill content.

The few legit players and pimps I know get sex—not because of attraction—but because they understand that attraction alone isn't what get them the pussy.


Some guys who roll with me initially assume that I’m just a natural with women: that I simply get stronger attraction from more women, which is why I sleep with them.

But that’s not true.

I’m not a good-looking guy, so I don’t rely on attraction. Instead, when I meet a girl with even the tiny attraction toward me, I build on that.

I make her feel shameless about her attraction and create a sense of comfort around sex.
Because I know that her shamelessness and comfort toward sex—not attraction—is what’s going to get me laid. Basically, I know how to give off a non-judgmental vibe around women.

The Harsh Truth About Attraction in Nigeria

If you’re relying purely on attraction to get laid in Nigeria, you’ll need to approach over 50 to even 100-200 women (or more) before one agrees to sleep with you based solely on attraction.
Most Naija women don’t sleep with men just because they’re attracted to them.

That’s why a lot of Naija girls, directly or indirectly, demand money or financial gifts before going sexual. Because that money or gift acts as a substitute for the sexual comfortableness you failed to create in them.

On the other hand, most legit players and pimps often get sex for free—not because they’re rich or good-looking, but because they know how to make a woman feel shameless or comfortable about sleeping with them.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, a lot of redpill posts on this thread are just copy-paste material from Western sources.

I can tell that many of the guys posting this stuff don’t have real experience with women. They just regurgitate Western redpill theories without adapting them to their own naija reality.

Philosopher1979:
You are right. Even a Nigerian girl that sleeps around will hide it. She will not want to be seen as a slut. Ubunja even said one has to be quiet about it when you get sexual with a nigerian girl. Girls appreciate it a lot if you get sexual with them but you don't let anyone know or act judgmental.
IOn the other hand, the Western world is too tolerant. Society needs a little conservatism to stem the tide of certain excesses. Its gotten to the point where stuff like beastiality, trans genders, lgbtq, even maryong a tree or incest I'd being tolerated or seen as an alternative lifestyle. Those things are not healthy and are psychologically damaging.
We should be glad we live in a society where a girl cannot sleep with 50 men and then brag about it and say she feels empowered. At least it makes girls decent enough for marriage even if it is hypocritical. At least it lowers wirish tendencies in women.