₦airaland Forum

As an adult male you dont have a good paying job or flourishing business, you struggle to eat three square meals everyday or you are still leaving with mummy and daddy that feed you then you are thinking of having a girlfriend or wife, I'm very certain you are not okay.

Do you agree?

If a woman can do it why can't i?

All these depressing words must stop! Anyone can do whatever they want to do. Get married whether you are living with your mummy and daddy, if they accept it...please go ahead.

If you are broke, you have the same right as anyone else to be in a relationship. All this societal nonsense must stop.

My only advice is that you keep working hard, don't be the guy who sleeps all day or sits around the compound drinking gin or origin.

Be the guy who go out and look for something to do. God will always find a way for you.

Melancho:
All this depressing words must stop! Anyone can do whatever they want to do. Get married whether you are living your mummy and daddy, if they accept it...please go ahead.

If you are broke, you have the same right as anyone else to be in a relationship. All this societal nonsense must stop.

My only advice is that you keep working hard, don't be the guy who sleeps all day or sits around the compound drinking gin or origin.

Be the guy who go out and look for something to do. God will always find a way for you.

Apt! Don't mind the social re-engineering.

However, it sometimes depends. A place of peace vs place of trouble. We all know where to choose.

Benbroz:
As an adult male you dont have a good paying job or flourishing business, you struggle to eat three square meals everyday or you are still leaving with mummy and daddy that feed you then you are thinking of having a girlfriend or wife, I'm very certain you are not okay.

Do you agree?

Some ladies can help u in this life...I mean some productive ladies,not those mammy water from hell ooh.

Date responsibly.

It is natural for humans to crave companionship even in lack. The important thing is they understand the implication of this decision. Especially when it involves children. I don't think a couple can hustle daily and not be able to feed 1 child. This is my thought and I am probably speaking from a place of privilege, while reality is different for those involved.

Benbroz:
As an adult male you dont have a good paying job or flourishing business, you struggle to eat three square meals everyday or you are still leaving with mummy and daddy that feed you then you are thinking of having a girlfriend or wife, I'm very certain you are not okay.

Do you agree?

so how should he handle his, what people call, konji?

Thr apostle Paul made it clear: He who cannot hold his body should go and marry.
As for finances, he go find work noni

Melancho:
All this depressing words must stop! Anyone can do whatever they want to do. Get married whether you are living your mummy and daddy, if they accept it...please go ahead.

If you are broke, you have the same right as anyone else to be in a relationship. All this societal nonsense must stop.

My only advice is that you keep working hard, don't be the guy who sleeps all day or sits around the compound drinking gin or origin.

Be the guy who go out and look for something to do. God will always find a way for you.

God bless you jare. Sensible comment

Meaningless and baseless advices with no scriptural foundation people are just throwing all over the place.

Some women are willing to settle down with a man regardless of his financial struggles, whether he's jobless, earning a low income, or facing tough times. They see beyond his present situation and believe in his potential. These women are ready to uplift, support, and grow with him through thick and thin, knowing that true partnership is built on love, patience, and resilience. However, such women are rare and not easy to find. In a world where financial stability is often seen as a key factor in relationships.

At the end of the day, happiness is not always tied to financial success. Some people with limited means live more fulfilling and joyful lives than those with great wealth. True happiness comes from contentment, peace of mind, and being with the right person who supports and believes in you.

Needs of a human being includes both financial and emotional needs.

The fact that you can't fulfill your financial needs doesn't mean you shouldn't fulfill your emotional needs.

They are two completely different things.

Your own woman is out there. Just ensure that you are hardworking and trying your best. You are of marriage able age but societal standards that will not by the way pay for your food or anything else is keeping you back. You dy suffer because of wetin stranger go talk...

I pity you op I married when I don't have real job 5 years ago.
Find a futuristic woman

Benbroz:
As an adult male you dont have a good paying job or flourishing business, you struggle to eat three square meals everyday or you are still leaving with mummy and daddy that feed you then you are thinking of having a girlfriend or wife, I'm very certain you are not okay.

Do you agree?

Clinching One sensible and purposeful lady will change your narrative. No doubt, some Ladies bring blessings, but they are of small fraction now. Go out to source for such ladies. Never never never never never never never never settle for a liability except the said girl has got the propensity to be resourceful in life which is not in the character of liabilities in general.

A gal thinking of marriage is also inside d same condition as d dude
No job
No skill
No money
Stays with parent etc

Once dem.born u and u be boy.
Life dey lead u. Even handicapp options. U fit no see draw..

Life aint f*cking fair

Benbroz:
As an adult male you dont have a good paying job or flourishing business, you struggle to eat three square meals everyday or you are still leaving with mummy and daddy that feed you then you are thinking of having a girlfriend or wife, I'm very certain you are not okay.

Do you agree?

In this country and this life we do to normally wait for the right time

If you are set for marriage and you don't have the resources to take care of your family

Work harder and cooperate with her, women supports when you don't give them problems

I don't have an issue with a man even earning 20k per month wanting gf

The issue is that it is his priority that is wrong.

Broke men hate themselves more than their "suspected hatred " from women.

Most girls in long term relationships will tell you that their men withdraw or become distant when they are broke.

This men are not happy with themselves. It is women that find fulfilment in relationships not men,so why obsessed with relationship?it means you need a fuckkkbuddy till you become rich then you will look for a woman to love.

In my single days, how I weed off bad men with nefarious intentions is by noticing how early they start talking of exclusivity.

My husband kpanshed me on the second date in his car. We didn't talk relationship. It was all lust.He kpanshed several times and then one day he said "the next time we f***k let's make a baby". Then he proposed when I was 6 months preggy. No dating or relationship.
Relationship is not a masculine thing,so when you see men, especially broke ones insisting they want relationship then they want to take value.

Broke men can't receive love.they are always suspicious of you(worse off if you are friends with rich bf).
If rich men are flocking you,they will suspect you are sleeping with them or you will leave them for the rich men.
If rich men are not coming your way,they will suspect that you have an issue.

My hubby driver (Ghanaian immigrant) was dating a good earning beautiful lawyer. He was saying that since other men are not trying to woo her and for her to settle for him,there is a problem with her .

@Gerrard59

Natbrowny:
A gal thinking of marriage is also inside d same condition as d dude
No job
No skill
No money
Stays with parent etc

Once dem.born u and u be boy.
Life dey lead u. Even handicapp options. U fit no see draw..

Life aint f*cking fair

Girls don't attach their worth to their pockets.
You can enjoy love with a broke woman. But a broke man hates himself and the world. You can't give them love or receive love

BenedictAbajue:
Needs of a human being includes both financial and emotional needs.

The fact that you can't fulfill your financial needs doesn't mean you shouldn't fulfill your emotional needs.

They are two completely different things.

Emotional or sexual needs,...lol

sharpwriter:
Apt! Don't mind the social re-engineering.

However, it sometimes depends. A place of peace vs place of trouble. We all know where to choose.

When society was deciding that divorces women,without with children or women a particular age can't marry,where were you?

Nobody is holding broke men from dating. Abi no be man wey hold key to commitment?

LoveJesus87:
so how should he handle his, what people call, konji?

Thr apostle Paul made it clear: He who cannot hold his body should go and marry.
As for finances, he go find work noni

Pay for prostitutes or look for your size. No man will remain single if they want relationship,since they are the ones that decided whether to commit or not.

The problem is lowering your standard to meet your pocket.you can want a 9/10 woman with a 1/10 pocket.

There is someone for everybody, people just don't want to accept who they can afford

Tightpussy2024:
Pay for prostitutes or look for your size. No man will remain single if they want relationship,since they are the ones that decided whether to commit or not.

The problem is lowering your standard to meet your pocket.you can want a 9/10 woman with a 1/10 pocket.

There is someone for everybody, people just don't want to accept who they can afford

that your last statement, you are very right. There's truly someone for everyone at their current level. But every man want beyonce shaped, figure 8, big thick yansh, tall fair with just im #50k account Balance.

Even me too

Tightpussy2024:
I don't have an issue with a man even earning 20k per month wanting gf

The issue is that it is his priority that is wrong.

Broke men hate themselves more than their "suspected hatred " from women.

er to settle for him,there is a problem with her .

@Gerrar.d59

While I agree that "broke" men should focus on their craft rather than love, are we saying these men (most men were once "broke" don't deserve to be loved and access to sex within a relationship setting? You know, this is the reason many alpha males say men should have access to many women as they desire when there is money, because they were mockingly denied of the same when they had nothing. It is a vicious cycle.

Additionally, as we know, men hold the ace of commitment. So a man who wants to marry will show genuine and serious interest from the beginning. It is one of the reasons I don't subscribe to relationships that last more than two years. They are a waste of time, especially to women. That could be done while in undergraduate, but not after. Anything more than two years would be so emotionally connected between both individuals.

I forgot to, but since we're here. The recent Sophia and Burna Boy's episode made me recall your statement that men wouldn't mind marrying sex workers if not for societal outrage. This could be a major reason men, especially those with stable finances, spend so much on their concubines and/or later convert them as second wives. Na testosterone cause all this thing sha.

Gerrard59:
While I agree that "broke" men should focus on their craft rather than love, are we saying these men (most men were once "broke" don't deserve to be loved and access to sex within a relationship setting? You know, this is the reason many alpha males say men should have access to many women as they desire when there is money, because they were mockingly denied of the same when they had nothing. It is a vicious cycle.

I didn't say broke men don't deserve love. A broke man is rarely in love as money reveals a man character. Alot of closeted gays only found out when they became rich. Have you seen a poor person accused of being gay? Is it men that will sample BDSM when money enter their hand that you want to risk your youth and several abortions for as a woman?

Whatever happens between a broke man and a woman is rarely love(at least from his side). Some will marry out of pity when they make it then keep the women they want as concubine. But ask a man who he wants at 26 sleeping on mat or eating from his mother pot and ask him who he wants again in 6 years time when he has made it.

As for getting sex in the confines of a relationship,I condemn both the rich or poor men using relationship as a means to get sex.

If he wants sex,there are thousands of women he should get sex from but he wants a 9/10..women don't get who they want and most times settle down,so why can't men make that sacrifice of going for who they can afford to have sex with?

Why not take 5000 and go to a remote area,pick a village girl that will jump and appreciate it and have sex with her? Must it be a slay queen on Instagram?

At the bolded,for some reasons the concubines men keep and lavish on are the girls that would have rejected them when they were poor,so they are taking revenge on no one.imagine buying a house for a girl that will not wink at you if you had no millions.
This is why women hate to struggle with poor men. Just like ubunja used to say,"why be the one to offer commitment when others offered nothing but got free sex?" I will rephrase it to be,"why be the one to build with a man when I can be the one that he will buy house for or phones for?" Will you not prefer to be the one that comes later to enjoy or the one that soaked garri with him and you aren't even guaranteed of a ring?
Men commitment is expensive,so should women time and their bodies be expensive.

I really don't like to talk about my personal life but my moniker will tell you I was a baddie and I displaced a "good woman" in a long term relationship .That is why I always laugh when these alpha meils are screaming virtue or virgins.if you think women are emotional,then wait for a man in love.

I forgot to, but since we're here. The recent Sophia and Burna Boy's episode made me recall your statement that men wouldn't mind marrying sex workers if not for societal outrage. This could be a major reason men, especially those with stable finances, spend so much on their concubines and/or later convert them as second wives. Na testosterone cause all this thing sha.

I can open an equivalent of redpill knowledge for women but people will think I am trying to corrupt women or make them make my "mistakes".

If men practice what they preach a lot of good girls will not remain in their fathers house in their 30s

Tightpussy2024:
I didn't say broke men don't deserve love. A broke man is rarely in love as money reveals a man character. Alot of closeted gays only found out when they became rich. Have you seen a poor person accused of being gay? Is it men that will sample BDSM when money enter their hand that you want to risk your youth and several abortions for as a woman?

Whatever happens between a broke man and a woman is rarely love(at least from his side). Some will marry out of pity when they make it then keep the women they want as concubine. But ask a man who he wants at 26 sleeping on mat or eating from his mother pot and ask him who he wants again in 6 years time when he has made it.

As for getting sex in the confines of a relationship,I condemn both the rich or poor men using relationship as a means to get sex.

If he wants sex,there are thousands of women he should get sex from but he wants a 9/10..women don't get who they want and most times settle down,so why can't men make that sacrifice of going for who they can afford to have sex with?

Why not take 5000 and go to a remote area,pick a village girl that will jump and appreciate it and have sex with her? Must it be a slay queen on Instagram?

At the bolded,for some reasons the concubines men keep and lavish on are the girls that would have rejected them when they were poor,so they are taking revenge on no one.imagine buying a house for a girl that will not wink at you if you had no millions.
This is why women hate to struggle with poor men. Just like ubunja used to say,"why be the one to offer commitment when others offered nothing but got free sex?" I will rephrase it to be,"why be the one to build with a man when I can be the one that he will buy house for or phones for?" Will you not prefer to be the one that comes later to enjoy or the one that soaked garri with him and you aren't even guaranteed of a ring?
Men commitment is expensive,so should women time and their bodies be expensive.

I really don't like to talk about my personal life but my moniker will tell you I was a baddie and I displaced a "good woman" in a long term relationship .That is why I always laugh when these alpha meils are screaming virtue or virgins.if you think women are emotional,then wait for a man in love.


I can open an equivalent of redpill knowledge for women but people will think I am trying to corrupt women or make them make my "mistakes".

If men practice what they preach a lot of good girls will not remain in their fathers house in their 30s

I like your train of thoughts on this thread.

Nice one.

"Na to continue the gist come be the Koko"

Winks.

Tightpussy2024:
I didn't say broke men don't deserve love. A broke man is rarely in love as money reveals a man character. Alot of closeted gays only found out when they became rich. Have you seen a poor person accused of being gay? Is it men that will sample BDSM when money enter their hand that you want to risk your youth and several abortions for as a woman?

This is hilariously true. Na our men dey practice anal sex and anal rimming when money enter hand. I don't think a vulcaniser is interested in rimming, but many men living in Lekki have had their anus rimmed.

Whatever happens between a broke man and a woman is rarely love(at least from his side). Some will marry out of pity when they make it then keep the women they want as concubine. But ask a man who he wants at 26 sleeping on mat or eating from his mother pot and ask him who he wants again in 6 years time when he has made it. As for getting sex in the confines of a relationship,I condemn both the rich or poor men using relationship as a means to get sex. If he wants sex,there are thousands of women he should get sex from but he wants a 9/10..women don't get who they want and most times settle down,so why can't men make that sacrifice of going for who they can afford to have sex with? Why not take 5000 and go to a remote area,pick a village girl that will jump and appreciate it and have sex with her? Must it be a slay queen on Instagram?

The bold is true because there are other states than the usual Lagos, Abuja and Port Harcourt, but men still want the baddies in those states. I have written here that there are equally good and beautiful women in many relatively unpopular states. No wonder our men later go back to have a romp with these baddies after hitting money.

At the bolded,for some reasons the concubines men keep and lavish on are the girls that would have rejected them when they were poor,so they are taking revenge on no one. imagine buying a house for a girl that will not wink at you if you had no millions.
This is why women hate to struggle with poor men. Just like ubunja used to say,"why be the one to offer commitment when others offered nothing but got free sex?" I will rephrase it to be,"why be the one to build with a man when I can be the one that he will buy house for or phones for?" Will you not prefer to be the one that comes later to enjoy or the one that soaked garri with him and you aren't even guaranteed of a ring? Men commitment is expensive,so should women time and their bodies be expensive.

Fair deal. It is refreshing and actually good to see things from a woman's perspective.

I really don't like to talk about my personal life but my moniker will tell you I was a baddie and I displaced a "good woman" in a long term relationship .That is why I always laugh when these alpha meils are screaming virtue or virgins.if you think women are emotional,then wait for a man in love. I can open an equivalent of redpill knowledge for women but people will think I am trying to corrupt women or make them make my "mistakes".

Please create a thread of such. It is good to hear from both sides so everyone learns, relearns and unlearn.

If men practice what they preach a lot of good girls will not remain in their fathers house in their 30s

This is very true. To be fair though, a large proportion of the "good girls" from my university days have gotten married. But there is something I noticed, women or seemingly good women lament on social media that it is the bad girls that later marry "good men". Does the term "good men" = men with money? It is something I have noticed many women complain - that men say they want good women but would spend heavily on baddies. There is one on Twitter who portrayed the image of a "good lady", but complained how Abuja men spend heavily on "bad girls" buying them houses, cars and funding their lifestyles or later marry them.

It is one of the reasons I say the alpha male rhetoric, while good in some ways, is mostly borne out of lack of money. It is also a major reason the men who lampoon sexually liberal women are those who don't have money. I am yet to see a well-to-do man criticise sexually liberal women unless those who do it for sanctimonious reasons, e.g. pastors.

Olawrites:
I pity you op I married when I don't have real job 5 years ago.
Find a futuristic woman

This is one of the cause of poverty in Nigeria today. Most people i know that got married as a struggling man are still struggling till date after several years. Before you can see one that later make it, you must have seen thousands still struggling. Unless you chose not to have kids yet until things get better or at Most have just a kid which most Nigerians failed to follow. A poor Nigerians must have at least 3-4 kids before they can accept that they have kids.

Getting married while having nothing had increased poverty level in Nigeria.

Villa12:
This is one of the cause of poverty in Nigeria today. Most people i know that got married as a struggling man are still struggling till date after several years. Before you can see one that later make it, you must have seen thousands still struggling. Unless you chose not to have kids yet until things get better or at Most have just a kid which most Nigerians failed to follow. A poor Nigerians must have at least 3-4 kids before they can accept that they have kids.

Getting married while having nothing had increased poverty level in Nigeria.

And who told you poor man who has 3 to 4 kids can't still make it. Destiny differs bro.

Some people came into marriage big and end up struggling too.

Blessings of God is in marriage.

I've achieved all what my age mate can boast of, I mean it, considering my humble family background in Nigeria.

Tightpussy2024:
Girls don't attach their worth to their pockets.
You can enjoy love with a broke woman. But a broke man hates himself and the world. You can't give them love or receive love

This is NOT TRUE
Maybe in shyttyhole Nigeria/Africa sha
Because here, what Nigerians will call "broke men" date and couple up all the damn time
But Africa being a dysfunctional place, we have silly arguments like that

Olawrites:
And who told you poor man who has 3 to 4 kids can't still make it. Destiny differs bro.

Some people came into marriage big and end up struggling too.

Blessings of God is in marriage.

I've achieved all what my age mate can boast of, I mean it, considering my humble family background in Nigeria.

if people make it after marriage, there won't be high level of poverty in Nigeria. Show me one person who was poor and become rich or comfortable after marriage then I'd Show you multitude still struggling after several years/decades in marriage

Villa12:
if people make it after marriage, there won't be high level of poverty in Nigeria. Show me one person who was poor and become rich or comfortable after marriage then I'd Show you multitude still struggling after several years/decades in marriage

It's the useless government policy and massive looting & corruption that caused poverty. Not marriage.

Olawrites:
It's the useless government policy and massive looting & corruption that caused poverty. Not marriage.

you're right but Marriage also added to it.

RodgersAkpafu:
This is NOT TRUE
Maybe in shyttyhole Nigeria/Africa sha
Because here, what Nigerians will call "broke men" date and couple up all the damn time
But Africa being a dysfunctional place, we have silly arguments like that

in Nigeria/Africa women don't need money for marriage. It is the responsibility of men. Society judge men by their pockets while women by their decency