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Why Do Married Men Cheat? - Family (5) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralFamilyWhy Do Married Men Cheat? (26279 Views)

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Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by Juliearth(f): 2:31am On Apr 30, 2025
ValCon888:
Eating fried rice and chicken everyday no matter how delicious will get you tired. If one day you were offered garri and groundnut you will jump for joy.
Is your wife also permitted to satisfy her pallets?
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by 10thTenthMan:
MONEY247:
I was speaking with a lady colleague and she shared with me a story about her husband...
According to her she said she does everything, I mean everything for her husband...
From sexual needs to food to respect to whatever you can think of...to please him.

When she discovered/suspected he was cheating she went on to learn various sexual styles, even to the extent of watching pornography... just to make the bedroom game sweet for her husband....

This man still went ahead continuing the affair outside the marriage...
She threatened to leave the marriage and call it quits when he came back to his senses...
And became the family Man...
I can tell this woman is still beautiful, she keeps herself clean and classy....

My question is this, what makes a married man to commit adultery or cheat...
Just what...
It is mainly because sex and emotional attachment are highly pleasurable and gives a lot of satisfaction, then with other minor factors. So let me digress a little. A man who when he was a bachelor had multiple lovers, will just suddenly stop because he went to church or to the girls village abi? I dont think many people understand human nature for the majority of people.

Sex is ''sweet''. It is ''delicious'', and many people/men enjoy it with various partners. Sexual pleasure is very very ''sweet''. Uncontrolled, it can lead to addiction, which molds the behavior into character. The act of cumming and ejaculation is extremely pleasurable and one of the highest forms of pleasure that men know. A lot of dopamine is released. Why do people get addicted to Food? Gambling? Drugs? Alcohol? And why cant they stop easily?

It is exciting, pleasurable and solves emotional needs in some neglected men. There is novelty and excitement. Most times the cheating partner is willing to do wonderful things in bed that the spouse will not do willingly.

It has the feeling of doing something taboo, so It is adventurous. It is more exciting. The chase, the conquest, the tryst. It is an ego booster.

It fulfills emotional and sexual needs, especially with someone different. It solves the issue of boredom and adds variety as a spice. It allows for exploration and change in tastes. It allows for kinks and fantasies that a spouse will say ''tufiakwa!!!! No be me and you''.

It gives the feeling of power and control. Many attach their masculine energy or feminine wiles and coquetry to the number of people they have had.

It is a quick solution to unresolved conflict, poor communication, or a lack of intimacy (both physical and emotional) within the marriage, especially with many women weaponizing sex and using sex for favors even in marriage.

Cheating also allows for opportunistic behavior. The mentality of ''if the chance dey, you chop the babe''/ ''She lets her guard down, you take advantage and f**k her immediately''.

Also, is past trauma and scars from previous experiences. Many learned from fathers, mothers, society, and many decide to cheat as payback for heartbreaks, etc.

Whatever it is , it becomes a thing that gives

(1) Immense pleasure and satisfaction and

(2) Fills a void and desire (e.g. for variety, sexual exploration, adventure, revenge, sexual addiction, etc)

As for the women here asking if the wives too are free to cheat, biko go ahead. The men are always ready. Please call us when you want to ''revenge-cheat'' on your husband...YOU THINK THIS SCARES MANY MEN? The problem is not cheating. Afterall, MOST OF YOU CHEAT TOO. It is just that men get caught more than women. You are all sleek and very good at hiding it because the consequences are usually worse for you. Do we know what you do when in a few seconds you can have a quickie and immediately pull down your dresses and walkway like nothing happened? Most of You cheat but hide it so well. So, for you, the real issue is if you are caught. You cannot cheat as openly as men can, because of the consequences. I mean culturally, if you dont mind being a thing of ridicule, then go ahead. You are an adult. Adults take actions and shoulder the responsibilities and consequences therefrom.

Deep down most men pray that many women are promiscuous so that access to sex and sexual pleasure is easier and less stressful. Coming out to mention such a thing is so taboo that men dont say it. Some men also are seeking acceptance from women and will do anything to be in their good books than speak the truth.
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by Gerrard59(m): 2:32am On Apr 30, 2025
geoworldedu:
It is only a fool that will regret the money he paid to get pleasure. Some are paying 1m to be VIP in a stand up comedy show of Akpororo. Some are visiting stadiums to watch football with 30k, 40k, 50k and none of them regretted it. Even till old age they still visit stadiums to watch football. So why is it sex alone they will regret?
I tire o.

Money for enjoyment should not be something one should regret, as it is the result of working hard. Why regret something you craved for using your hard earned money?

Nigerians guard sex as one secret cult act.
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by Juliearth(f): 2:32am On Apr 30, 2025
flokii:
Bad habits.. that's the only logical explanation. It's either the man cheats or the wife cheats or both partners cheat.
Another reason might be change in taste.. a man that married lepa all of a sudden developed taste for curvy and hourglass-shape. What do you think will happen?
Your reasons are valid,but far-fetched. People are advised to look beyond a partner's looks and money so when either of these are absent, the relationship can still thrive... but then again, if the size is getting out of proportion, you can offer jer support to lose the excesses.
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by Gerrard59(m): 2:38am On Apr 30, 2025
Learner247:
While sometimes married men tend to cheat because some wives weaponize sexual intimacy, I won't dwell on that because of your comments about the case study that you presented in your piece. So, I will talk about growing success of men and the hypergamous nature of women as key reasons many married men cheat.

Firstly, most men tend to get married at the beginning of their career and foray into wealth creation. As a result of this, they are usually very busy building their lives and climbing the success ladder.
In fact, at times like these, many of them are religious, and are very committed to their partners. Significant part of their income goes into home upkeep. Nothing much is available for frivolities and they invest good portions of the little income left into personal development and emergency account. But as they have more disposal income, things tend to change as they can now afford to act on their wild desires.

In addition to the foregoing, most ladies in our society tend to get attracted to successful men, irrespective of their marital status. As husbands begin to have more and more disposable income, grow in their careers etc. they become more visible and attractive to most women. Since some of these men become managers, top leaders, captains of industries eventually, they have meetings outside of their usual places of residence and sometimes even have to go to such meetings with female colleagues and/or secretaries who have been looking for avenues to have amorous relationship with such men for various reasons. Men naturally find it difficult to resist what they see, particularly if it's the body aligns with his "specification".

As I conclude, rising disposable income plus the humongous drive of the female gender towards successful men are some of the major reasons males who have already tied the knots to cheat on their wives. It is important that married men understand that faithful wives deserve faithfulness as well, learn to be empathetic irrespective of their financial success and to create formidable boundaries against uncouth fellows.
Something I could have written.

I am glad we're becoming more honest in our comments. Mind you, it is not a Nigerian thing alone, as it happens across the world. That is the basic biological makeup of men.
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by ictty(m): 2:48am On Apr 30, 2025
Maeve7:
Lack of morals.
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by mosicola(m): 2:49am On Apr 30, 2025
I asked my father same question and he said that his father couldn't answer him cos my grandfather asked my great grandfather same question and none could provide the answer till date. My own son is asking me same question. The moral of the story is that no one's knows why married men cheat.
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by BreakingNews21: 3:08am On Apr 30, 2025
This French blogger offered her viewpoints. She recently married a rich guy.

How To Treat Your Man So He Can't Leave You


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6ns_uvGMUs
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by drehdinho(m): 3:33am On Apr 30, 2025
wunmi590:
huh

There are a lot of factors that might make some men cheat, reason are many, we just pray we don't fall victim of such..

This is one of my prayer point not to cheat on my married wife, reason why I married late, she always look like a fresh wine to me anytime I see and look into her face, she's also a calm and loving woman, honestly, my kids are very lucky having such a woman as their mother...
At what age did you marry if you don’t mind me asking 😊
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by Jeezuzpick(m): 3:38am On Apr 30, 2025
MONEY247:
I was speaking with a lady colleague and she shared with me a story about her husband...
According to her she said she does everything, I mean everything for her husband...
From sexual needs to food to respect to whatever you can think of...to please him.

When she discovered/suspected he was cheating she went on to learn various sexual styles, even to the extent of watching pornography... just to make the bedroom game sweet for her husband....

This man still went ahead continuing the affair outside the marriage...
She threatened to leave the marriage and call it quits when he came back to his senses...
And became the family Man...
I can tell this woman is still beautiful, she keeps herself clean and classy....

My question is this, what makes a married man to commit adultery or cheat...
Just what...
Man wey you fight other girls to marry, you no know say de other girls dey one corner dey wait for dia turn?

See, in the vast majority cases, it's just a continuation of life prior to marriage, nothing else!

Why do men cheat?

BECAUSE THEY WERE ALREADY CHEATING BEFORE MARRIAGE! SIMPLE!
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by jayvaliar(m): 4:00am On Apr 30, 2025
MONEY247:
I was speaking with a lady colleague and she shared with me a story about her husband...
According to her she said she does everything, I mean everything for her husband...
From sexual needs to food to respect to whatever you can think of...to please him.

When she discovered/suspected he was cheating she went on to learn various sexual styles, even to the extent of watching pornography... just to make the bedroom game sweet for her husband....

This man still went ahead continuing the affair outside the marriage...
She threatened to leave the marriage and call it quits when he came back to his senses...
And became the family Man...
I can tell this woman is still beautiful, she keeps herself clean and classy....

My question is this, what makes a married man to commit adultery or cheat...
Just what...
It is encoded in their gene....it is a natural thing, but it takes discipline and the grace of God to avoid cheating.
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by kayperry: 4:06am On Apr 30, 2025
Samantha125:
Then we should change our marriage status into an open marriage... We agree to stay married to each other while seeing other people on the side and make it a no strings attached type of a situation.

What do you think?😃😃😃
Sounds fair right until you begin to weigh the consequences
Men are liable in a way they bear the consequences of there actions without detriment to the wife
i have heard stories of Men that died before the wife could even know he had another wife n kid outside, naa burial the wife notice the children semblance to her husband

But Women, their is no how a wife will cheat and it wont be at the detriment of man , infection, paternity fraud, sex denial and overwhelming disrespect to the man, one must pop

Above all the a cheating wife places the husband's life in danger, men dont really like to share the side-man might decide to strike
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by Originalsly:
Hmmm ...she did everything... but went on to learn different sex styles. So she thought she knew everything. There is more she doesn't know.... the most important...the nature of men. Married or not ... men by nature are different from women .. we are not wired the same. It will take almost a miracle for a man to have interest....or to be sexually satisfied by one woman only. By nature ...the instinct to get involved with another woman is veryyy strong and it takes a whole lot of will power for a man to not step out of the relationship to satisfy his soul. Any man that says he has absolutely no desire for another woman is a liar ... or he's gay. Men step out because they do not have such a strong will power to resist the temptation. A woman will step out for money......a man will step out for sex. A woman will be with a man with money in a minute ...but takes a lot more than a minute to be ready for sex. A man will be ready for sex with a woman in less than half of a minute ...but it will take a few days for him to decide if he wants to be with a woman with money. We are wired differently... men are like dogs ...need to run around the community ....let the dawgs be dogs .... you can't change the stripes of the tiger .
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by franchasng:
Humans are nothing but animals with high level of reasoning, but in all, humans are still animals and they exhibit animalistic traits.


If you watch animal kingdom, monogamy does not exist there. In animal kingdom, one male animal mates with as many female animals in his domain as possible. You will never see a situation where 1 female animal will be mating with 20 male animals, it's not possible, I am a wildlife lover, that's the only thing I watch when I am bored aside comedy skits, war documentaries and politics news.


Whiteman created monogamy to control overpopulation in the world just as they created democracy. Naturally, humans don't practice democracy in community leadership just as the natural form of man don't practice monogamy.


In the Bible, we read about many great Kings and Queens, and we read about Kings having hundreds of wives and concubines but we never read about Queens having hundreds of husbands and lover boys because it's not natural.

Women by nature are the custodian of sexual chastity, it is not by their power or because they are too good, it is a natural gift bestowed on them by nature from birth to reduce human population, sexual sanity, etc. Yes there are female sex maniacs, but they are very few, it's not common.


Naturally, men and women don't have the same level of self control for sex, nature made it so to control population and to help women survive in the world. If most men don't desire sex or crave for sex so much like most women, women all over the world will suffer. Tell me how women will survive the world if men don't have higher sex drive and craven for sex than women? It means men can go about their lives without bothering to approach any woman for sex or for relationships, and this will translate to men not caring for women or having any iota of sympathy or compassion for women, guess what that means? Hell for women cos Kings, Presidents, Emperrors, Dictators, Rulers, etc who made laws to consider and protect women from men wouldn't have ever made such laws. Western laws that protected women rights wouldn't have existed cos men wouldn't be compelled to even make such laws.


So men cheat because it is their nature to cheat. Men that don't cheat (if any at all) are doing so out of extreme sacrifice and it has nothing to do with love for their wife or lover, it mostly has to do with spirituality, political position, fear of being caught, fear of the consequences (financial, disease, spiritual backlash, political, business, status).


Men that cheat on their wives doesn't mean they don't cherish their wife; a man can cherish his wife and still have extramarital affairs with other women albeit responsibly/respectfully.



And its funny reading people say Nigerian men abroad don't cheat, really? They also believe that Whitemen and other races don't cheat too? Oh really? They also believe that cheating abroad is very difficult for men or let me say difficult for Nigerian men, are you serious? Lolz



Dear ladies, stop letting this issue disturb you so much, and stop letting some women's claims that their husband is different, their husband doesn't cheat, their husband is disciplined, their husband loves them so much to dare cheat on them, bla bla bla to cause you depression, they never know and may never know.


The desire to mate or have sex with as many women he finds sexually appealing is inherent in all sexually active men, any married man that is very sure he hasn't had sex with any other woman except his wife deserve an applause but that doesn't make him a superman or a wonderful man or the greatest or best man, he only managed to avoid it out of fear of the consequences (financial consequences, legal consequences, spiritual consequences mostly based on doctrines & instructions) and most times due to lack of opportunities caused by any of the below reasons:

1.) Financial lack
2.) Location
3.) Societal/political/religious position



All sexually active men in their natural form, are promiscuous in nature.


If you doubt me, do the below assignment.


Get 1 good looking guy and 1 good looking girl above 18 years, go to a random market or street anywhere in the world, let the girl approach 20 different men with a short note on a blank sheet of paper that says:

You look cute, I really like you, can we find somewhere and have some good sex please?


I tell you that at least 15 out of 20 of the men the pretty girl will approach will say yes without stress.


Now let the handsome guy do the same by approaching 20 different women, I assure you that more than 15 out of the 20 women will flare up or even yell at him or say no to him.


This is a natural test that should make you understand that the desire to have sex with different women by men is a natural trait and weakness in all men, it's a natural curse on men, and nature made it so for so many reasons.


That you as a woman is able to control your urge or desire to have sex with different men for free is not by your power, it is a gift given to you by nature for so many reasons, so stop judging or blaming men.


You will be surprised to see that cheating man in heaven at the end of the day while those you feel are sexually disciplined and don't cheat end up in hell. Leave God that created men the way He created them to judge them with their sexual weaknesses, peace cool
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by NokiaN8(m): 4:19am On Apr 30, 2025
ValCon888:
Eating fried rice and chicken everyday no matter how delicious will get you tired. If one day you were offered garri and groundnut you will jump for joy.
One spotted
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by NokiaN8(m): 4:24am On Apr 30, 2025
EyeCumInPeace:
If you are sentenced to eating Okro soup the rest of your life, it will take a lot of discipline not to be tempted to try Egusi soup. grin
Chia, because the taste aren't the same.. Baba you spotted
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by Lanre1st(m): 4:42am On Apr 30, 2025
Married women mostly overwhelmed with overseeing of their children and house chores especially after one or two children. Has little time to romance her husband rather it always bill upon bill.

Also, all these cheating is not always men plan but level of seduction of those ladies is captivating only God can make man resist
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by Diligence: 4:54am On Apr 30, 2025
Another Perspective

Who are they cheating with? Other Married Women?

Balance your opinion: Who do Married... Cheat!
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by Denko2721987(m): 4:58am On Apr 30, 2025
Samantha125:
Then we should change our marriage status into an open marriage... We agree to stay married to each other while seeing other people on the side and make it a no strings attached type of a situation.

What do you think?😃😃😃
Its called divorce. That shit is for the crack heads overseas, not for Africans angry angry
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by lexy2014: 5:04am On Apr 30, 2025
Dogalmighty17:
If dem thief your car or dem thief your wife which one go pain you pass?
Are you married to a car?

Simple yes or no
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by lexy2014: 5:06am On Apr 30, 2025
blesdman:
it is not comely for a woman to be amorous if she is married.but for a man it is manly.
Off point.

Should your wife also enjoy this variety?

Simple yes or no
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by lexy2014: 5:07am On Apr 30, 2025
blesdman:
No woman is sexually cheated on, except ur money is taken from u. A man gives u sex whenever u want it,
Off point

Are you married to a car? Yes or no
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by lexy2014: 5:09am On Apr 30, 2025
Lanre1st:
Married women mostly overwhelmed with overseeing of their children and house chores especially after one or two children. Has little time to romance her husband rather it always bill upon bill.

Also, all these cheating is not always men plan but level of seduction of those ladies is captivating only God can make man resist
Are you talking from your experience as a married man?
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by Maeve7: 5:11am On Apr 30, 2025
hush15:
I don't think it has to do with moral, it is simply biological. Many reasons exist and I am not trying to justify it. it has been since the beginning of time. People need to understand that the man is wired biologically different from the woman and being married to one partner doesn't erode their biological state.
A man has urges that he can control when he chooses to because he upholds strong morals. A weak man without morals can’t.
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by Maeve7: 5:12am On Apr 30, 2025
ALLNIGERIANSMAD:
not morals, men are designed that way, that's the plane truth, if you see any man who isn't cheating, the man is forcing to control himself probably because of his status but trust me when opportunity gives way, he will do it even without hesitation
Or he is controlling himself because he has morals and is strong enough to live by them.
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by bluefilm: 5:12am On Apr 30, 2025
lexy2014:
Should your wife also enjoy this variety?
Of course

But then again, there's always a price tag

Can she pay the price?
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by lexy2014: 5:14am On Apr 30, 2025
bluefilm:
Of course

But then again, there's always a price tag

Can she pay the price?
I didn't ask you for price tag

Should your wife also enjoy this variety?
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by lexy2014: 5:16am On Apr 30, 2025
Maeve7:
A man has urges that he can control when he chooses to because he upholds strong morals. A weak man without morals can’t.
God bless you
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by lexy2014: 5:18am On Apr 30, 2025
ALLNIGERIANSMAD:
not morals, men are designed that way, that's the plane truth, if you see any man who isn't cheating, the man is forcing to control himself probably because of his status but trust me when opportunity gives way, he will do it even without hesitation
Who created man that way?

What is the status you are referring to?

What has status got to do with self control?
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by bluefilm: 5:20am On Apr 30, 2025
lexy2014:
I didn't ask you for price tag

Should your wife also enjoy this variety?
Yes, she can
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by ALLNIGERIANSMAD(m): 5:21am On Apr 30, 2025
Maeve7:
Or he is controlling himself because he has morals and is strong enough to live by them.
if opportunity present itself, the same man will throw morals away and cheat regardless of his status. Men generally are designed that way. Forget all the Holy holy things. All men 100% have tendency to cheat
Re: Why Do Married Men Cheat? by frozen70(f): 5:21am On Apr 30, 2025
MemoriesAndMe:
Nicely said!
I have a friend whose marriage got ruined from this you just said. He is happily married with 2 kids and we all knew his wife and saw them as a happy family. His wife was a God fearing woman that dedicated herself to her family.

He eventually had a side chick that eventually gave him gonorrhea. He ended up passing it to his wife and suddenly ran to us his friends when him, his wife and his side chick all were experiencing the symptoms of gonorrhea - that's an STD. The only advice everyone could give him was to open up to his wife because everyone knew she was the homely type, the side chick was all over the place and he met her at a club to start with.

He ended up treating all three of them, but the wife left him because she thought he could have passed something more serious like HIV to her from his randy habits.
Imagine what he brought home to give his wife
What if it were to be HIV AIDS
She has to leave the marriage as he doesn't deserves her faithfulness
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