₦airaland Forum

Nazgul:
It's not about being a single mom, it's about your ability to achieve your goals and becoming useful to yourself and child without putting yourself at the mercy of any man.

The reason why most men detest single moms is because of how easy they give up on life. Most live waywardly, get pregnant and keep trying to force themselves on men without developing themselves.

I've seen women who had kids and still went to fulfill their dreams. I know one (a childhood friend) who's currently a senior staff member in a bank. She got married and is enjoying her marriage.

If you're a single mom looking for a man to adopt your child and shoulder your responsibilities without lifting a finger, life would be extremely difficult for you cos the men you'll come across would just keep you for sex and nothing more cos that's the only thing you can offer them.

Having a child isn't the end of the world. Not developing yourself or learning a skill that can feed you after giving birth, marks the beginning of your doom.

U na wisdom and wise man I respect ✊ u bro 💯

showboy2301:
➜I think I need to share this story so that we can all learn. I have a female friend, her husband died and she has kids. She told me that her husband was dating different women when he was alive and even got kids outside. So she said she's now alone, taking care of the kids after the death of the husband. Presently she's dating a married man, I asked why she's doing that since she also detest such thing when her husband was alive. She said the man gives her 100k monthly and pays her kids school fees. So she doesn't have to care about any other thing. Now, can you see that women will not want their husbands to cheat but they will cheat with another woman's husband if they have the chance.

Most Nigerian men would not tolerate their wives cheating on them, but that doesn't stop them from cheating, sometimes openly, on their wives either. So what exactly is the purpose of this severely biased tale of yours? What is there to gain with this absurd generalization of yours?

Kobojunkie:
Most Nigerian men would not tolerate their wives cheating on them, but that doesn't stop them from cheating, sometimes openly, on their wives either. So what exactly is the purpose of this severely biased tale of yours? What is there to gain with this absurd generalization of yours?

You will understand it better when you come to your right senses. Thank you. Feminist isonu.

showboy2301:
➜ You will understand it better when you come to your right senses. Thank you. Feminist isonu.

Ah, I see! Feminists are to blame for the biased and equally illogical generalization you posted earlier. 😩😩😩😩

Kobojunkie:
Ah, I see! Feminists are to blame for the biased and equally illogical generalization you posted earlier. 😩😩😩😩

At least you are now restored to factory settings. You are welcome.

showboy2301:
➜At least you are now restored to factory settings. You are welcome.

Are you certain you are OK upstairs? 😏😏

Make I go warm eba.

All these talks nor concern me sha. Wetin I just wan yalk be say I am very Lucky to marry a Sing Mum of 1. We are living the best of our lives and the marriage is blissful! My wife is one in a million and I am very lucky to have her.

hate ke..calm down naaa

Baronthecelebri:
I hate single mom with passion

Dogalmighty17:
You might want to put down the beer now. Clearly you've had too much.

I do not think s/he has had enough

One man's food is another man's poison. Besides, one who cries in most cases is not the one that beat his or herself.

Belief me it very risky dating a single mother
U might be lucky and date one dat truly need love
But 98 percent of them are damage emotionally so it very risky dating them
Dated one like dat for 2yrs
She was all nice good family members some her brother's were even pastors
Nothing could go wrong in my mind
Until unknowingly she started showing her true sef
Nagging
Lies
Manipulation
Fetishism
Prostituting
Back bitting
I just park to another location
But now she must have gotten it into her head say I don move on with my life

atoliman:
Being a single mum is not a death sentence or sentence to remain single for forever. Off course a single mum priority is going to be her children, what do one expect when you are dating one? To cook rice for you and buy you beer while her children are hungry. if you have sex with one, expect billings- It is what comes with the terrority. if you do not want date one, leave them alone. Let them find someone who wants to date them

I wholeheartedly agree with everything you have stated.

TechBaron:
I recently had an episode with one.

Single mum of one. Her marriage lasted less than 6 months and the ex husband blocked her everywhere and has even abandoned their 5 year old kid.

She tried enticing me with gifts and some dramaric nollywood style of love.. But deep inside, I knew there was something wrong with the lady, I sha wanted to see what made baba to run within a span of 6 months, and even abandoned his kid

Everything was going well, till she started showing me her true character.

Omoh. I need not go into details...

See ehn.. Run from anything single mother. Even the one that you made, just run.

I repeat, RUN..

"Even the one that you made"
This one hit me thinking. This is deep, bro

Kobojunkie:
Wait a second... isn't a woman— every woman— equally just a tool to many of the very same men?

2. Hold up! Let's revisit reality here, shall we?

The traditional marriage system in Nigeria— the societal norm— requires the man in the relationship to be a provider during and throughout the entire duration of the relationship/marriage in return for the woman's submission to him. This system mandates that the man regularly bring to the table his capacity as a provider for him to continue to enjoy submission from the woman in the relationship. By catering to the financial needs of his woman and family, the man is rewarded with his ego's desire — her submission and loyalty. This system of relationship insists that as long as the man is a provider, the man offers his submission. This equally implies that once that man is no longer able to act as a provider, the woman is not obligated to continue offering him her submission.

But here you are insinuating, against the very societal norm, that a woman should continue to submit to the man even when he has lost his ability as the provider for his family? Why? Where does this idea of yours come from? Why is the woman, against the very contract that society holds to at the basic level, to live as a slave to the man in this case? What is your reason for thinking this way?🙄🙄🙄

You can twist and turn all you want.

Firstly, as far as Nigeria is concerned TRADITION IS OUT OF THE QUESTION.
Nigerians tradition is a mix of our previous traditional beliefs and the things we copied from the West, women don't submit to anyone, the gender equality program won.

Secondly, my analysis is from the dating stage, a single mom expect you to become a father, provider and a lover immediately you tell her you like her, it's not surprising as the average single lady does the same except for the father part, the addition of an extra child in the relationship mean, there's little or to time for a young man to grow into the role of a father, and it's provider, given the economy situation,a gradual understanding of a family is required, but becoming a father from the dating stage is not easy, it requires the temperament of a well grounded adult male.

Finally, my main contention is love or the joy of being loved by someone, for a single mom, she comes with the hatred and bitterness of her previous relationships coupled with the fact that she's now a mom, she's completely not interested in a man to love, she's interested in a provider only, it's like waking up in a 10 years marriage with children and school fees and everything about the family already on her mind, loving her husband is just a product of how well he behaves at this point, this is the undiluted truth, don't be deceived, a woman can only love one man or one person at a time, if she has a child, you will always be secondary, which of course is not a problem of some men but definitely a problem for most.

Angelfrost:
Being a single mum doesn't make anyone less loving and caring towards a man... Same way being a virgin doesn't equate to being virtuous.


If you truly connect with a single mum and both of you are deeply committed, you should feel the same way towards her kid or kids.


Funny how some of you bashing single mums have no qualms about a single dad getting into relationships with single ladies without kids.

Double standards.

Since I was born, this is the first double standard that favours menn....

Baronthecelebri:
I hate single mom with passion

why lol

atoliman:
Being a single mum is not a death sentence or sentence to remain single for forever. Off course a single mum priority is going to be her children, what do one expect when you are dating one? To cook rice for you and buy you beer while her children are hungry. if you have sex with one, expect billings- It is what comes with the terrority. if you do not want date one, leave them alone. Let them find someone who wants to date them

Brother that is why they will be left alone and single...

TechBaron:
I recently had an episode with one.

Single mum of one. Her marriage lasted less than 6 months and the ex husband blocked her everywhere and has even abandoned their 5 year old kid.

She tried enticing me with gifts and some dramaric nollywood style of love.. But deep inside, I knew there was something wrong with the lady, I sha wanted to see what made baba to run within a span of 6 months, and even abandoned his kid

Everything was going well, till she started showing me her true character.

Omoh. I need not go into details...

See ehn.. Run from anything single mother. Even the one that you made, just run.

I repeat, RUN..

u must explain it guy

Kobojunkie:
She is a divorced woman because she was abandoned by her husband during their marriage. He told you the husband ran off, abandoning his child— is the child a bad person too?—, and last I checked, abandonment is considered a criminal offense in Nigeria. 🙄🙄🙄

Yes she was abandoned by her husband for reasons we're are not sure about(That's why i said she might be a single mother because she has bad character emphasis on "might". The writer of the comment I quoted said when she started showing him her true color he had to run and he concluded by saying run from everything single mother.

I'm of the submission that it's not being a single mother that makes a person bad(someone with bad character). A bad person is a bad person regardless of whether you're are a single mother or not and vice versa.

So I didn't insinuate that the woman was a bad person or had bad character.

sparko1:
Close your eyes, raise your right hand, but it on your head!

Repeat after, Who do me like this🙄🙄
A single mom is like every woman, they can barely love a man when they are single, once they become a mom, the man is just a tool, something that has to provide or it becomes useless.

If you want to test, just tell her you don't have money when she asked, see how fast she moves on.

Regardless of whether she's a single mother or not, most lady wants a man who can provide.

If you prefer a single mother, double mother or whatever, go ahead and have such. But don't try to blackmail those of us who are averse to single mothers into accepting such baggages just because you wanna be seen as WOKE,

You'll learn hard lessons.

SamuraiXXX:
Nairaland also needs to consider age restrictions cos we're having a lot of teenagers here that comment nonsense

Allow him to express his opinion just as you're doing.

lawrenzooo:
Regardless of whether she's a single mother or not, most lady wants a man who can provide.

Except she wants a father that can provide for two.

One should ask, why is she single in the first place. Most women think the man is unimportant until he walks out of the marriage. I know a friend whose wife (with three male children) sent him packing because she was the one that paid the house rent that year. Guy man left, now .... regrets everywhere, but guy man has moved on. He sees his children often, but got nothing for the auntie. He's at present filing for divorce. Word of advice for married women, it's not always green on the other side, there's no issue that married couples can't resolve if there's love in that marriage...my opinion!

It is never a good thing to paint with a broad brush. No doubt ... it takes extra to date a single mother because you're dealing with a package ...mother and child for sure ...and maybe the child father. There are single mothers out there who are better in character and would make better wives than a whole lot of single women out there. If interested ....I believe the first step a guy should take is to find out the circumstances that lead to her being a single mother.... was she raped? ... in a relationship and the guy got her pregnant and vanished? ... then if alive...are they in communication?..is he in his child's life? etc. If one dives into a relationship without doing a background check then it is most likely he will get burn. Is it then fair to say one should stay clear of single moms because they are nad news? The same happens when one dives into relationships with childless women ... I guess that's when loser guys be shouting stay clear of women.