₦airaland Forum

Ishilove:
You people are the ones encouraging child labour in this country. Must it be a young girl? Get a middled aged woman who can assist in the house

He's been honest and you hate his honesty... No every middle aged House help is good character wise.... It's his problem, all we can do is profeer solutions.... But it will be best from married people like us and not single people that have no iota of what it feels or been married

Oga look for a side chick, use am hold body, by the time she realized that you are no longer disturbing her, en eyes go clear. This life no too hard mbok

Get married to someone else. I am not sorry to say this. We are still animals at the end of the day. Your sexual life is part of your mental and physical health well being so do not take it for granted.

Two top reasons people divorce is finance and sex. If she is a good person but cannot give you sex, then solve the problem yourself. I repeat solve the problem yourself. You were not born into this world to suffer all your life.

Tradepunter2:
He's been honest and you hate his honesty... No every middle aged House help is good character wise.... It's his problem, all we can do is profeer solutions.... But it will be best from married people like us and not single people that have no iota of what it feels or been married

Women are funny. Don't argue with them, just let them come to realization by themselves. They think they know how to control everything.

apprentist:
It's not that easy. My kids are my priority. I dream of a home where they will grow with all the care they need. Remarrying comes with too much uncertainty.

The worse part of it is that madam doesn't even act like she cares about how I feel. I've tried all possible means. Talk, beg for s*x, give her suprise packages, even spoken to her parent about it.
Mtchew

Some men didn't plan to marry more than one wife but their wives forced them into it.
When a woman knows you ain't capable of cheating she starts misbehaving.

That your wife acting like she doesn't care would start begging for your attention immediately she knows you're planning to marry a second wife or have a side chick.

Welcome to real life
Continue shouting I am a christian

apprentist:
It's not that easy. My kids are my priority. I dream of a home where they will grow with all the care they need. Remarrying comes with too much uncertainty.

The worse part of it is that madam doesn't even act like she cares about how I feel. I've tried all possible means. Talk, beg for s*x, give her suprise packages, even spoken to her parent about it.
Mtchew

Madam has someone outside there filling her head up with uncouple ideas. She is being manipukated by a guy or a girlfriend. Take it or leave it that's the matter.

papyjaypaul:
Women are funny. Don't argue with them, just let them come to realization by themselves. They think they know how to control everything.

Very tiring aswear...

Educationalserv:
marry Second wife problem solved
you be African Man don't let Europeans used religion to make you unafrica

Hehehe 🤣

apprentist:
Hello Guys, let me first of all say the cliché "It is well".

Now let we start.
I met my wife years back just before the COVID-19 year during which we dated for almost a year and then eventually got married just when the lock down was reducing. I started this story this way because I wanted to emphasis that during that period, we had so much time to bond and she was mostly available to me as she only worked on shifts 2 to 3 days per week.
We could sit and talk for long, go out at late nights and have great s*x as frequently as we needed.

This I think gave me a mirage of an anticipated marriage life so I didn't hesitate to take it a step further ones the lockdown was relaxed.
I also made it clear to her that her job would have to give way when their kids start coming as I had plans to assist her further her edu and also put up a biz for her.

Speed up to after COVID-19, she resumed work which till this day demands 5 days a week and 2 to 3 Saturdays per month all from 7:45am till 5pm. Often times she'd return home tired and would manage to make dinner and off to bed till the next day circle continues.
It became worse when we started having children. I drive them to school as early as 7:40am before dropping her off at her job. And then I'll pick them up by 5:30pm or 6pm when she's done with her job for the day (let me mention that this extends to public holidays and school holidays or breaks).

I got tired and in December 2025 I told her she has to quit the job. My plan was to enroll her back into a private school after my kids are Upto 4 years as one of them still depends on breast milk. I also gave her the option of starting a business which I understand is a dynamic move and might not be successful, but at this stage of my life it's something I could afford to risk and so I didn't mind.

I must also mention that out of a 100% sex, 50% is not mutual as I could sense she isn't interested and 40% is a denial as she would rather deny me of s*x with the excuse that she is tired.

Simply put, I'm tired.
I'm a Christian and divorce isn't an option. Also I can't cheat, but I am starved of s*x and my kids are not given the attention they deserve.
Pls advice me

Getting urself a side chic isn't cheating...Abi u wan cheat nature Abi u wan make prostrate Kee you....if you kpai, ur wife and kids will move on fast.... Ur case is similar to a neighbour who is a pastor, he was sex starved, he no dey nack, he just died of prostrate cancer

mike97:
I cant access the mail for now I just tried it again

Remove that picture

NwaAmaikpe:



We have all been misled for so long, but it is best we demystify this myth, not for ourselves but for posterity and people in your shoes; because you will soon be gaslighted by woke people who will call you inconsiderate, selfish, nagging and not supportive enough.

First things first, she has to quit the job and be a housewife for a while if you are to salvage your relationship.

Sex is not a want, it is a need.
A human need, which comes with an urge....just the same way as hunger.

We all know that women view marriage as a trophy that gives them the privilege of the title 'Mrs' and having children, but she should not rub it on your face that your job is done.

It is justified to come back from work really drained and not have the appetite for sex, just like it is possible to come back so drained from work that you can't even eat till you've rested.
You've not written anywhere that you chuck your preek straight at her face once she walks through the door, so I just have to believe that you initiate sex when you have assessed it to be alright to.

As long as a person is not mentally or emotionally distressed wherein a temporary loss in appetite arises,
(emphasis on the word temporary, because when someone gets a terrible news, they'd instantly lose the appetite for food, and grieve for days but they eventually recommence eating).

So a persistent refusal of intimacy and becoming workcentric despite appeals and interventions from her parents is a symptom of an even more malignant problem.
How come the same woman who is too tired for sex, is not too tired to breastfeed her kids; simply because it is a need.
But these are both needs?

My worry even gets worse with your concern about the kids not getting much attention from her.
If her job is not what the family survives on, why will she be that passionate to work on public holidays, school holidays, and every Saturday?
Reflect on this and you'd see, you alone enabled her!

Verily, verily, I can say unto you, if the Holy Bible deemed it fit to equate a mother's love and attention for her own kids as unshakeable, then you do not need a native doctor to tell you there is a big distraction somewhere.

A big distraction that she has become addicted to, because every woman who has cheated will tell you that there is nothing as addictive as the attention from a strange man.
So break the addiction and get her to quit that job ASAP.

God forbid that a woman you married with your own money does not get turned on when you touch her.
It is a natural response to stimuli, because that same woman who has painted sex with you to be a difficult chore will get drenchingly wet if she reads an erotic novel, watch porn or gets fiddled by another man.

Social media, streaming sites, greed, an excess of men ever-ready to shag people's wifes and acute poverty has made Nigerian women extremely susceptible to not just being distracted but ultimately unfaithful.

If she does not value your preek, look for someone who will. But because no one will love your preek like you, try to masturrbate a bit more as you seek clarity to this misfortune in your relationship.

Because like I said when i started off, sex is a need and if she does not want to get this need from you, who then is meeting this need for her when she leaves your house for work?

Hian, you have started again with your jugunu and kulikuli response

If you're on Twitter, I'll advise you follow the Man called Agba John doe. Maybe you can narrate this story to him. He might be of help

apprentist:
See eh... I had to type this here cus I've run out of ideas. Don't know who to talk to or even next step to take.
Back then I used to blame men for cheating or fighting with their wife. But now, I'm pushed to do either.

marriage is not a must.




PEACE.

dnt be tired/RETIRED nor let her quit her job.Some biz are struggling/some are making it. Be sweet,E GO BETTER

na sex u come sex for life?

Yes oooo. for anything solid mineral(metallic/industrial)please call me on 08069573703. Email-blackminorm21@gmail.com

Try give her the energy she is giving to you. Don't ask her for sex anymore until she is ready to talk about it,if she doesn't talk about it, Kick her Out of the House!!

NwaAmaikpe:



We have all been misled for so long, but it is best we demystify this myth, not for ourselves but for posterity and people in your shoes; because you will soon be gaslighted by woke people who will call you inconsiderate, selfish, nagging and not supportive enough.

First things first, she has to quit the job and be a housewife for a while if you are to salvage your relationship.

Sex is not a want, it is a need.
A human need, which comes with an urge....just the same way as hunger.

We all know that women view marriage as a trophy that gives them the privilege of the title 'Mrs' and having children, but she should not rub it on your face that your job is done.

It is justified to come back from work really drained and not have the appetite for sex, just like it is possible to come back so drained from work that you can't even eat till you've rested.
You've not written anywhere that you chuck your preek straight at her face once she walks through the door, so I just have to believe that you initiate sex when you have assessed it to be alright to.

As long as a person is not mentally or emotionally distressed wherein a temporary loss in appetite arises,
(emphasis on the word temporary, because when someone gets a terrible news, they'd instantly lose the appetite for food, and grieve for days but they eventually recommence eating).

So a persistent refusal of intimacy and becoming workcentric despite appeals and interventions from her parents is a symptom of an even more malignant problem.
How come the same woman who is too tired for sex, is not too tired to breastfeed her kids; simply because it is a need.
But these are both needs?

My worry even gets worse with your concern about the kids not getting much attention from her.
If her job is not what the family survives on, why will she be that passionate to work on public holidays, school holidays, and every Saturday?
Reflect on this and you'd see, you alone enabled her!

Verily, verily, I can say unto you, if the Holy Bible deemed it fit to equate a mother's love and attention for her own kids as unshakeable, then you do not need a native doctor to tell you there is a big distraction somewhere.

A big distraction that she has become addicted to, because every woman who has cheated will tell you that there is nothing as addictive as the attention from a strange man.
So break the addiction and get her to quit that job ASAP.

God forbid that a woman you married with your own money does not get turned on when you touch her.
It is a natural response to stimuli, because that same woman who has painted sex with you to be a difficult chore will get drenchingly wet if she reads an erotic novel, watch porn or gets fiddled by another man.

Social media, streaming sites, greed, an excess of men ever-ready to shag people's wifes and acute poverty has made Nigerian women extremely susceptible to not just being distracted but ultimately unfaithful.

If she does not value your preek, look for someone who will. But because no one will love your preek like you, try to masturrbate a bit more as you seek clarity to this misfortune in your relationship.

Because like I said when i started off, sex is a need and if she does not want to get this need from you, who then is meeting this need for her when she leaves your house for work?

The Legend has spoken!

Baba say make you dey use soapy hold body fess. Before you initiate the process of getting another wife.

Shogbo?

[color=#006600][/color]
Let her resign immediately. If not you will suffer risk of a broken home

apprentist:
Hello Guys, let me first of all say the cliché "It is well".

Now let we start.
I met my wife years back just before the COVID-19 year during which we dated for almost a year and then eventually got married just when the lock down was reducing. I started this story this way because I wanted to emphasis that during that period, we had so much time to bond and she was mostly available to me as she only worked on shifts 2 to 3 days per week.
We could sit and talk for long, go out at late nights and have great s*x as frequently as we needed.

This I think gave me a mirage of an anticipated marriage life so I didn't hesitate to take it a step further ones the lockdown was relaxed.
I also made it clear to her that her job would have to give way when their kids start coming as I had plans to assist her further her edu and also put up a biz for her.

Speed up to after COVID-19, she resumed work which till this day demands 5 days a week and 2 to 3 Saturdays per month all from 7:45am till 5pm. Often times she'd return home tired and would manage to make dinner and off to bed till the next day circle continues.
It became worse when we started having children. I drive them to school as early as 7:40am before dropping her off at her job. And then I'll pick them up by 5:30pm or 6pm when she's done with her job for the day (let me mention that this extends to public holidays and school holidays or breaks).

I got tired and in December 2025 I told her she has to quit the job. My plan was to enroll her back into a private school after my kids are Upto 4 years as one of them still depends on breast milk. I also gave her the option of starting a business which I understand is a dynamic move and might not be successful, but at this stage of my life it's something I could afford to risk and so I didn't mind.

I must also mention that out of a 100% sex, 50% is not mutual as I could sense she isn't interested and 40% is a denial as she would rather deny me of s*x with the excuse that she is tired.

Simply put, I'm tired.
I'm a Christian and divorce isn't an option. Also I can't cheat, but I am starved of s*x and my kids are not given the attention they deserve.
Pls advice me

That job has to go, although it appears that your finances might be affected. All energy is obviously in the job. Somehow, you both have to agree on a change of job for her.

apprentist:
Hello Guys, let me first of all say the cliché "It is well".

Now let we start.
I met my wife years back just before the COVID-19 year during which we dated for almost a year and then eventually got married just when the lock down was reducing. I started this story this way because I wanted to emphasis that during that period, we had so much time to bond and she was mostly available to me as she only worked on shifts 2 to 3 days per week.
We could sit and talk for long, go out at late nights and have great s*x as frequently as we needed.

This I think gave me a mirage of an anticipated marriage life so I didn't hesitate to take it a step further ones the lockdown was relaxed.
I also made it clear to her that her job would have to give way when their kids start coming as I had plans to assist her further her edu and also put up a biz for her.

Speed up to after COVID-19, she resumed work which till this day demands 5 days a week and 2 to 3 Saturdays per month all from 7:45am till 5pm. Often times she'd return home tired and would manage to make dinner and off to bed till the next day circle continues.
It became worse when we started having children. I drive them to school as early as 7:40am before dropping her off at her job. And then I'll pick them up by 5:30pm or 6pm when she's done with her job for the day (let me mention that this extends to public holidays and school holidays or breaks).

I got tired and in December 2025 I told her she has to quit the job. My plan was to enroll her back into a private school after my kids are Upto 4 years as one of them still depends on breast milk. I also gave her the option of starting a business which I understand is a dynamic move and might not be successful, but at this stage of my life it's something I could afford to risk and so I didn't mind.

I must also mention that out of a 100% sex, 50% is not mutual as I could sense she isn't interested and 40% is a denial as she would rather deny me of s*x with the excuse that she is tired.

Simply put, I'm tired.
I'm a Christian and divorce isn't an option. Also I can't cheat, but I am starved of s*x and my kids are not given the attention they deserve.
Pls advice me

Welcome to institute of marriage life..... NEVER ask a woman to quit her job, because of your selfish motives.......

Marriage is about compromises and sacrifices...... You can also cook and clean.....

Find ways to work around her work schedule.....

Are you more Christian than chris oyakhilome.... If he can go through divorce, who are you....... 😁😂

In all of these, I could sense an underlying problem you've failed to see.
Maybe from now on stop begging her for sex. Act like you don't care, keep late nights moderately giving her the impression that you're seeing someone else. If she doesn't show concern or remains defiant, then know it's more than you think. She might have some cockroach in her cupboard. But you have to be wise in deciphering that

apprentist:
It's not that easy. My kids are my priority. I dream of a home where they will grow with all the care they need. Remarrying comes with too much uncertainty.

The worse part of it is that madam doesn't even act like she cares about how I feel. I've tried all possible means. Talk, beg for s*x, give her suprise packages, even spoken to her parent about it.
Mtchew

apprentist:
Hello Guys, let me first of all say the cliché "It is well".

Now let we start.
I met my wife years back just before the COVID-19 year during which we dated for almost a year and then eventually got married just when the lock down was reducing. I started this story this way because I wanted to emphasis that during that period, we had so much time to bond and she was mostly available to me as she only worked on shifts 2 to 3 days per week.
We could sit and talk for long, go out at late nights and have great s*x as frequently as we needed.

This I think gave me a mirage of an anticipated marriage life so I didn't hesitate to take it a step further ones the lockdown was relaxed.
I also made it clear to her that her job would have to give way when their kids start coming as I had plans to assist her further her edu and also put up a biz for her.

Speed up to after COVID-19, she resumed work which till this day demands 5 days a week and 2 to 3 Saturdays per month all from 7:45am till 5pm. Often times she'd return home tired and would manage to make dinner and off to bed till the next day circle continues.
It became worse when we started having children. I drive them to school as early as 7:40am before dropping her off at her job. And then I'll pick them up by 5:30pm or 6pm when she's done with her job for the day (let me mention that this extends to public holidays and school holidays or breaks).

I got tired and in December 2025 I told her she has to quit the job. My plan was to enroll her back into a private school after my kids are Upto 4 years as one of them still depends on breast milk. I also gave her the option of starting a business which I understand is a dynamic move and might not be successful, but at this stage of my life it's something I could afford to risk and so I didn't mind.

I must also mention that out of a 100% sex, 50% is not mutual as I could sense she isn't interested and 40% is a denial as she would rather deny me of s*x with the excuse that she is tired.

Simply put, I'm tired.
I'm a Christian and divorce isn't an option. Also I can't cheat, but I am starved of s*x and my kids are not given the attention they deserve.
Pls advice me

Please talk to her. You mean well. God bless you for your sincerity of purpose and your understanding. I believe she's also bothered but probably feels that she needs the job for financial stability.

Let her consider options that can solve the problem by herself. She knows best what works for her. I once had to take a lower grade job (though the pay wasn't so different) to create time for my children. That means you have to support her more financially if she toes that path. Not everyone is good at business management though training may make a difference.

Also consider getting someone to help her with household chores which can be extremely stressful and tiring for a working mother. It doesn't have to be a live in helper.

You're simply selfish and one sided! You think a woman's entire existence is to satisfy you and raise children? Did you even consider that her fixation on work is to escape the children and the stress that comes with it? Did you ever consider that your sexual appetite is way beyond what she can keep up it?

Your idea of business is a good one but can you also give her monthly allowance and hire a maid/nanny? Remember a woman that's stressed and unhappy can never ever priotize freaky freaky over the things stressing her!

If you want to win this battle, you have to see things from her point of view, it's the only way to tackle the root cause rather than the symptoms!

Winneygirl:
So you cannot sit with your wife and map out how to get a different job?
You cannot review her CV with her and look out for more flexible jobs?
You think she likes working herself to the bones? How much do you have to give her to start up a business?
Do you know how much capital is needed to adequately start something viable? What of the time needed to grow the business?

Instead of being practical and taking the right action to safeguard your family income, you are here moving funny.
If your income alone was enough to keep your family afloat, she will not be working so hard.

Look inwards. Be practical and start looking for a more flexible job for her.

Which silly family income?
how did you conclude that the nonsense job even pays anything significant enough to contribute to the family.

Women that can work their lives out for peanut pay.

Can you just for once give reasonable advice? Some of the advice you give are disjointed. Some folks bringing their issues here need healing, and not all these bashings from you. Be positive and get a good life.

Kobojunkie:
Reading through the OP and several other comments, you would almost think these individuals were talking of some Stewpid child they were raising or accommodating for selfish benefits. A woman worked really hard to build her career then chose to get married afterwards but here is the man she married essentially stating she would need to abandon all of her hard work for the sake of his dick. 🤔

Winneygirl:
So you cannot sit with your wife and map out how to get a different job?
You cannot review her CV with her and look out for more flexible jobs?
You think she likes working herself to the bones? How much do you have to give her to start up a business?
Do you know how much capital is needed to adequately start something viable? What of the time needed to grow the business?

Instead of being practical and taking the right action to safeguard your family income, you are here moving funny.
If your income alone was enough to keep your family afloat, she will not be working so hard.

Look inwards. Be practical and start looking for a more flexible job for her.

But you weren’t forced to talk na.