Hello Everyone!

I have a family issue but I don't have someone to speak to about it, so I'm very grateful for your inputs on this matter.

SOME BACKSTORY (You can skip this if you want):
I'm the youngest of my two siblings (26M). I have a sister and a brother. My sister's kinda okay. My brother (35) is a selfish, toxic and entitled person. He dropped out from the university, doesn't have a job and he steals from my parents like my dad's watches or property or my mum's jewellery and then sells them to buy weed or something.

One time he sold my mum's car and after some police and legal issue that basically went nowhere, she basically had to steal it back (The guy who bought it, passed away a little while after, so I guess that case is closed..), he once took my phone while I was sleeping because I refused to give him a different phone I had, that belongs to me after selling his own phone or something. It's like he acts solely on impulse. My dad (who's in his 70s now) is almost always on security alert when my brother is around. As for my mom, she just straight up enables him and bails him out of trouble every time, saying things like "He's your brother" or "God will change him" when I talk to her about it. My brother and I got into a fight, like a year before I left for university, because he wanted to look around my room to see if I had his usb cable despite me telling him I don't have it nor have I seen it. That was the last time I willingly spoke to him.

My family moved into a new house and I finally left for school (my brother stayed in the old house and my sister moved in with her husband after marriage, so it was just him over there). During my 3rd year, I called my dad, asking him for some money because I was broke, and during the phone call, my dad tells me that he's at the hospital cuz my brother and some girl just had a kid. okay.. I came back for holidays and found out that his baby mama (who's also toxic and insults people alot) and kid, my nephew, are staying with us, with my parents providing for them while my brother stays in the older house, renting it out to people (who messed up the house and compound to the point it just became a disgusting place to live in) obviously without permission from my parents (who don't even own that house, it belongs to my uncle). By the time I graduated and came back home, he was now living with us in the new house because free food and no bills, I guess.

I haven't gotten a job yet so I'm stuck here.

Recently, he's been staying away from me because I don't talk to him or even look at him.

BACK TO THE TOPIC:
Around a year ago, I had a serious wakeup call and decided that, if I was going to go forward in life I would have to better myself so I began a journey of meditation and self-improvement, and I think I've made some good progress. Now the issue is my brother---earlier today, I saw him scouting our house (after my parents went out) and I could instantly tell he was up to no good. I was cooking when I began to hear some noise from upstairs like he was hacking at something. He came downstairs and readied his car while my cousin who stays with us (19) carried the AC unit my brother was planning to sell.
Usually I'll just mind my business and avoid him because he's an adult-child (narcissist) and I think he'll just put his vindictive sights on me if I interfere, but this time I don't know what came over me..

I called my cousin and demanded where he was taking that AC to. I then asked my brother (first time in years I've spoken to him) why he was taking it, he just gave one nonsense flimsy excuse then I told my cousin to return it. When he tried to explain whatever, I didn't acknowledge his presence, I just ignored him and ate my food. He just stood there staring at me for like 3 minutes before he left while murmuring something.

The main reason I've been avoiding him for long is because he's toxic and I decided that family or not, toxicity is still toxicity. He's very exploitative and once he familiarises with someone it's like an opening to trample the person's boundaries. I think I confronted him today because the more you ignore bad/evil the stronger it becomes and eventually it will come for you except now it'll be stronger from all the experience.

The issue is, I don't want to relapse into my old life of toxicity by further engaging him if he decides to steal from me on get physical because he's the kind of person that only listens to actions, not words.
Please, what do you think I do?

A university graduate typed this episode with alot of uncoordinated sentence.

get a gun,
it might come in handy very soon

Work on getting a job or skill that enables you to earn, so you can move.

faithfull18:
Work on getting a job or skill that enables you to learn, so you can move.

I'm currently doing that

Klass99:
I am tempted to say keep ignoring him and avoiding the toxicity but I worry for your parents, your father in particular, your mother.....not so much because of her role in creating the monster you described.

It's good that you intervened during the A.C. theft, [/b]but what happens if you move out or you are not around during another rogue incident? I genuinely feel sorry for your father.[b]

Blood is not thicker than water in instances like these ooo and I don't fault you for acting the way you have. Your brother is a stark reminder of why I sometimes laugh and smh when people say children are a blessing, I guess they don't think beyond infancy/toddler years when children are sweet and cuddly.

I've long concluded that the bolded is out of my control. My brother is extremely unlikely to change, my mom is used to enabling him and I think my dad has just accepted that it is what it is.
I have a life to live and goals to achieve, I can't be worrying about an adult who apparently makes no attempt to move forward in life.

Asquare84:
A university graduate typed this episode with alot of uncoordinated sentence.

Cut the guy some slack. Your single sentence has two notable errors. A lot, not "alot" and sentences, not "sentence."

So, the correct version of your sentence should be: "A university graduate typed this episode with a lot of uncoordinated sentences."

The pot calling the kettle black.

Klass99:


At the bolded, I perfectly understand. Where is your nephew and his baby mama?

Yeah I forgot to mention he has two kids now and they're all staying with us in the same compound.

Klass99:


Lol . The young man is like you na.

...
I think so,
That why I think he should withdraw honourably..

The parent encouraged that nonsense from him... When he brought a baby and a baby Mama, that would have been the golden opportunity to take a stand... But no, they did not...
So we don't expect the young man to be the one to clean after them...

Lalasticlala seun please I'd be very grateful for more visibility.

EDIT: Thank you so much mods, for pushing this to frontpage.

Your brother obviously is very I’ll but your parents refuse to see it. He’s a chronic thief. Once he’s done robbing all of you blind, he will go out and steal where he will be burnt alive. Your family will end up taking the shame. He also sounds like he’s on drugs. Serious drugs. Which is why he’s desperately looking for things to sell. Your parents should summon your cousin and his parents so the cousin can confess what your brother is up to.

Honestly a badly trained male child is 500 times worst than a badly trained female child.

.

RightToReject:


Cut the guy some slack. Your single sentence has two notable errors. A lot, not "alot" and sentences, not "sentence."

So, the correct version of your sentence should be: "A university graduate typed this episode with a lot of uncoordinated sentences."

The pot calling the kettle black.

You dey mind the werey?

Watch what you eat this days

Leave the house ASAP! You can't change a grown up baby. Stay with someone if you have to.

I hope the document of your father’s house is safe. Lord knows what that thug of your brother will sell soon. I blame your mother for raising such an irresponsible child

faithfull18:
Work on getting a job or skill that enables you to earn, so you can move.

Can you please help me to fill this survey

https://app.opinionx.co/ce928c9e-2b1c-488a-b662-632f261dcbeb/intro

Beremx:
I hope the document of your father’s house is safe. Lord knows what that thug of your brother will sell soon. I blame your mother for raising such an irresponsible child

I don't know where the documents are, but I'm sure my dad doesn't keep them lying around

Hmmmm

Ehya

What!!!

Kudos to the prodigal

Lol

Used to know someone like ur bro

He need rehabilitation