₦airaland Forum

I watched an interview recently where a 58-year-old woman shared the painful realities of post-divorce life. The loneliness, the low-quality men who take advantage, and the difficulty of finding a responsible partner again. It made me realize that, for many women, divorce isn’t an easy battle.

I believe that women are tested in life through patience and emotional control. For men, the test lies in nurturing a God-fearing family and fulfilling their role as responsible leaders within the home and the community.

I see lots of single women struggling with the children that they abducted from their husbands. I see them suffering and struggling to meet material and emotional need. At some point they will begin to disturb the man they absconded from who is now married to come and take care of the children they denied him from seeing for a very long time. If the guy no answer dem go begin tell everybody and the children that the man is an irresponsible father.

My advice to men when it comes to marriage is that marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires patience and understanding from both partners. Every partner comes with their own emotional ups and downs, and since marriage is almost inevitable, it's better to learn how to navigate them.

In short, look well before you marry. Don’t be blinded by love or physical qualities. Women aren’t!

Because let's be honest, when a woman wants to marry, she gathers FBI-level intel on the man. She knows his work history, his financial habits, his extended family drama, and even which of his friends and families are secretly bad influences. Meanwhile, some men just see a beautiful smile and say, "That's the one!" My brother, shine your eyes!

As a man, you are responsible for your family and society. Just like we adjust to the weather, we can't stop the rain but we can prepare for it. Relationships thrive when both partners adapt to each other’s emotions with care and wisdom.

Choosing a life partner is like making a significant decision, and it’s important to know the person well before committing to the journey together. Our fathers talk say no perfect relationship, everybody dey manage each other. Find the one wey you know seh you fit manage.

Don’t marry a wayward or wild girl or a girl beyond your league. Because you don’t want to end up in a marriage where small argument turns into "Go and meet your ancestors!" Ensure you ask around about the girl you want to marry and study her well. Make sure that even if she has coconut head, small advice still dey enter. Lastly, study her friends well!

Believe me you don’t want to end up having a demon at home as a wife.

And also study her family and ask questions about her family history. If her parents are still alive, observe how they lived together, if any of her parents is or are no more ask questions from people who knew them because the first platform you learn about marriage is that of your parents. And apple doesn't fall far from its tree
These where the mistake I made before marrying my first wife though we are divorced now

Those who don't love themselves should forget about going into relationship or marriage. You can't give what you don't have.

If you truly love yourself, you wouldn't have been so dependant on others

Words of wisdom.

helinues:
Those who don't love themselves should forget about going into relationship or marriage. You can't give what you don't have.

If you truly love yourself, you wouldn't have been so dependant on others

And you are married. Yes?

AllBlack:
And you are married. Yes?

That's personal

As someone who's married and divorcing now, see my added nuggets:
1. Avoid girls from broken homes. They come with loads of trauma. I learnt the had way.
2. Avoid girls who hate their fathers, even if the man is irresponsible. You'll soon join their fathers' club.
3. Avoid girls who disrepect you. Treat her minutest disrespect as a bloody red flag.
4. Body count matters. Avoid girls with loads of escapades. Avoid girls with unresolved attachment to their exes. Avoid girls who insist on keeping male besties.
5. Lastly, most people don't improve after marriage. Red flags multiply after marriage.

helinues:
That's personal

But when it comes to dropping irrational quotes, it is GENERAL.

helinues:
Those who don't love themselves should forget about going into relationship or marriage. You can't give what you don't have.

Did you even rationalise by considering that there are some people who went ahead to love themselves to the point of selfishness/over-personalization and then they took it into relationship and further into marriage?
Topic is about divorce and how it hits in the most unfair and unexpected ways and you think LOVE YOURSELF is the ultimate antidote? That's what you could come up with? Little wonder.

AllBlack:
But when it comes to dropping irrational quotes, it is GENERAL.


Did you even rationalise by considering that there are some people who went ahead to love themselves to the point of selfishness/over-personalization and then they took it into relationship and further into marriage?
Topic is about divorce and how it hits in the most unfair and unexpected ways and you think LOVE YOURSELF is the ultimate antidote? That's what you could come up with? Little wonder.

Just explain to NL'S, what's the crying profusely for on my mentions?

God bless Op. My own is run away from single mothers(Not widows) especially those who were once married. Don't be deceived by their heart touching story of how their ex treated them.No man leaves a peaceful woman. Most men ran for their lives because of the wives stubbornness, "u cannot control me attitude", disrespect, women liberation movt, nagging, cursing, unappreciative etc. If she went away with your Child/children and deny you access, bro just walk away. Stop fighting for children custody. It will only take away your sanity. Stop it .. when she don tire she go look for u..

Men deserve to live long like women, attend their children weddings too.

Men don't just leave their wives except the wife is a bag of trouble.

Ephort:
As someone who's married and divorcing now, see my added nuggets:
1. Avoid girls from broken homes. They come with loads of trauma. I learnt the had way.
2. Avoid girls who hate their fathers, even if the man is irresponsible. You'll soon join their fathers' club.
3. Avoid girls who disrepect you. Treat her minutest disrespect as a bloody red flag.
4. Body count matters. Avoid girls with loads of escapades. Avoid girls with unresolved attachment to their exes. Avoid girls who insist on keeping male besties.
5. Lastly, most people don't improve after marriage. Red flags multiply after marriage.

Excellent!

This should be framed and hung on the wall by every aspiring husband, for daily meditation.

Ephort:
As someone who's married and divorcing now, see my added nuggets:
1. Avoid girls from broken homes. They come with loads of trauma. I learnt the had way.
2. Avoid girls who hate their fathers, even if the man is irresponsible. You'll soon join their fathers' club.
3. Avoid girls who disrepect you. Treat her minutest disrespect as a bloody red flag.
4. Body count matters. Avoid girls with loads of escapades. Avoid girls with unresolved attachment to their exes. Avoid girls who insist on keeping male besties.
5. Lastly, most people don't improve after marriage. Red flags multiply after marriage.

All points seconded. Also, for a lady to tuly be under the authority of Jesus cannot be overemphasized. I mean truly o, and not pastor...I said Jesus.

NaijaphiliaBlog:
Excellent!

This should be framed and hung on the wall by every aspiring husband, for daily meditation.

Daily meditation...so that thereby, they may receive sense to avoid wahala

Ephort:
As someone who's married and divorcing now, see my added nuggets:
1. Avoid girls from broken homes. They come with loads of trauma. I learnt the had way.
2. Avoid girls who hate their fathers, even if the man is irresponsible. You'll soon join their fathers' club.
3. Avoid girls who disrepect you. Treat her minutest disrespect as a bloody red flag.
4. Body count matters. Avoid girls with loads of escapades. Avoid girls with unresolved attachment to their exes. Avoid girls who insist on keeping male besties.
5. Lastly, most people don't improve after marriage. Red flags multiply after marriage.

You're so correct bro... Over 100%

Ephort:
As someone who's married and divorcing now, see my added nuggets:
1. Avoid girls from broken homes. They come with loads of trauma. I learnt the had way.
2. Avoid girls who hate their fathers, even if the man is irresponsible. You'll soon join their fathers' club.
3. Avoid girls who disrepect you. Treat her minutest disrespect as a bloody red flag.
4. Body count matters. Avoid girls with loads of escapades. Avoid girls with unresolved attachment to their exes. Avoid girls who insist on keeping male besties.
5. Lastly, most people don't improve after marriage. Red flags multiply after marriage.

The best summarized marriage advice so far.
Well done Sir 👍

NaijaphiliaBlog:
Excellent!

This should be framed and hung on the wall by every aspiring husband, for daily meditation.

No be lie, I don screenshot it and I'm using it as my lock screen wallpaper

helinues:
That's personal

😂🤣😂🤣
Bad guy man,he used style dodge the bullet

Ephort:
As someone who's married and divorcing now, see my added nuggets:
1. Avoid girls from broken homes. They come with loads of trauma. I learnt the had way.
2. Avoid girls who hate their fathers, even if the man is irresponsible. You'll soon join their fathers' club.
3. Avoid girls who disrepect you. Treat her minutest disrespect as a bloody red flag.
4. Body count matters. Avoid girls with loads of escapades. Avoid girls with unresolved attachment to their exes. Avoid girls who insist on keeping male besties.
5. Lastly, most people don't improve after marriage. Red flags multiply after marriage.

My good friend that was always disturbing me to get married because he married recently divorced and the major advice he gave to me that's still searching was no 2 - don't marry a girl who grew up hating her dad. Especially a girl whose parent divorced or wasn't married and the mother brought the girl up poisoning her mind against her father

Also, he told me I shouldn't marry a girl that doesn't have someone she can listen to and respect so you can report her matter to the person in case ...

Emmaken25:
And also study her family and ask questions about her family history. If her parents are still alive, observe how they lived together, if any of her parents is or are no more ask questions from people who knew them because the first platform you learn about marriage is that of your parents. And apple doesn't fall far from its tree
These where the mistake I made before marrying my first wife though we are divorced now

God bless sir U nail it, if U ask me with tears full my eyes right now, the only mistake I made in my entire life which I never planned for that it will happen was the woman I married, but now she is gone.

ediko5:
My good friend that was always disturbing me to get married because he married recently divorced and the major advice he gave to me that's still searching was no 2 - don't marry a girl who grew up hating her dad. Especially a girl whose parent divorced or wasn't married and the mother brought the girl up poisoning her mind against her father

Also, he told me I shouldn't marry a girl that doesn't have someone she can listen to and respect so you can report her matter to the person in case ...

Exactly..God go bless that your friend....

You must find a woman who has a parent /relative she listens to in case of misbehaviour. Cos Woman go always misbehave

helinues:
Those who don't love themselves should forget about going into relationship or marriage. You can't give what you don't have.

If you truly love yourself, you wouldn't have been so dependant on others

former chairman agbero union nairaland branch has drop quote.agbero chairman is now giving nigerians what he had

specialmati:
former chairman agbero union nairaland branch has drop quote.agbero chairman is now giving nigerians what he had

Sound normal, sound coherently, aren't you concerned about your own sanity?

Imagine you still carry the trolling on romance section.

Chai

Starz825:
Exactly..God go bless that your friend....

You must find a woman who has a parent /relative she listens to in case of misbehaviour. Cos Woman go always misbehave

🙏

helinues:
Sound normal, sound coherently, aren't you concerned about your own sanity?

Imagine you still carry the trolling on romance section.

Chai

so i cant greet you again because its romance section.you know i dont like seeing your senseless comments

specialmati:
so i cant greet you again because its romance section.you know i dont like seeing your senseless comments

So trolling is your own greetings?

Try and be thinking before you drop your opata.

helinues:
So trolling is your own greetings?

Try and be thinking before you drop your opata.

so that i hala you now you dont like it .are you now angry.how far druggie don gift you bullion van

specialmati:
so that hala you now you dont like it .are you now angry.how far druggie don gift you bullion van

Is it Agbero you call your uncle's whenever you want to greet them?

What brought druggie into romance section?

Are you sure you have a meaningful life outside NL sha?

Good..anti spam bot don catch him

Ephort:
As someone who's married and divorcing now, see my added nuggets:
1. Avoid girls from broken homes. They come with loads of trauma. I learnt the had way.
2. Avoid girls who hate their fathers, even if the man is irresponsible. You'll soon join their fathers' club.
3. Avoid girls who disrepect you. Treat her minutest disrespect as a bloody red flag.
4. Body count matters. Avoid girls with loads of escapades. Avoid girls with unresolved attachment to their exes. Avoid girls who insist on keeping male besties.
5. Lastly, most people don't improve after marriage. Red flags multiply after marriage.

So who will now marry all those ones you have avoided? My brother one thing must kill a man