₦airaland Forum

kushme:
Typically, speaking from what i have seen, several times. A man with a gov' appointment started stealing in order to make his growing family happy. The stealing ways of the appointed man would now affect and make a lot of families unhappy.

Can people be compatible or coorperate for that long if they don't have the same interests? I doubt. You want to talk about sci-fi and Yamal of Barca while she wants to talk about Verydarkman and latest celebrity weddings, marriage and divorce.
I hope she gets the piece of your mind for you guys to live peacefully.

I believe that one can find happiness, companion and peace of mind in a partner. We struggle with these three virtues daily from external to internal forces. So, finding one person to give you all three is an angel.

InvertedHammer:
/
There is time in life for everything. Even gestation has its period. If after 9 months there is no delivery, people get worried. If a child is born earlier than 8 months, it calls for concern as well. At 2, a child is supposed to have crawled and then walked. At 24, one should have graduated from college or learned a trade skill. There is also a retirement age. We may pretend but life has its cycle: Silver, golden age, you name it. Can we redefine life because we want it to selfishly fit into our loser lifestyles? Of course! Your life, your prerogative.

If you are 40 and single, there is no more vivid way to define a COLOSSAL failure. You are a loser! The person's conscience tells him/her. No pretense necessary. Must everyone get married? No! But those who don't or can't shouldn't try to convince others that it is normal. Isn't that what trans is all about? Forcing others to believe that alternative lifestyle is normal.

Go and marry!!!

/

maasoap:
You don't need "growing family" as an excuse to steal, people who are not married are stealing too when they have opportunity.


Marriage is a continuous work even when all the needs or requirements are met, no perfect marriage

Henrydata:
Others won't read this Ur write up o.

When reality sets on them at old age, they will know. As long as you are close to God. There is always a blessing attached to marriage. Trust me, except you don't believe in God.

I got married at the age of 32 in one room apartment. After a year, we moved to a Room and parlour and now 9 years down the line, we have our own building of two bedroom flat. With three kids now.

Sometimes, I imagined if I didn't marry then, I would have been kind of irresponsible. Cos I am very handsome and girls were all over me. And I don't know how to say no to them. Maybe by now, I for don get Aids or born children out of wedlock.

samcolee:
I share almost same story, same 7yrs relationship and she's graduating by the end of the year so I did the consultation last year and wanted to pay the rite this year but she broke up cos I couldn't pay everything at once 😆. I'm down but I'd be back up

InvertedHammer:
/
There is time in life for everything. Even gestation has its period. If after 9 months there is no delivery, people get worried. If a child is born earlier than 8 months, it calls for concern as well. At 2, a child is supposed to have crawled and then walked. At 24, one should have graduated from college or learned a trade skill. There is also a retirement age. We may pretend but life has its cycle: Silver, golden age, you name it. Can we redefine life because we want it to selfishly fit into our loser lifestyles? Of course! Your life, your prerogative.

If you are 40 and single, there is no more vivid way to define a COLOSSAL failure. You are a loser! The person's conscience tells him/her. No pretense necessary. Must everyone get married? No! But those who don't or can't shouldn't try to convince others that it is normal. Isn't that what trans is all about? Forcing others to believe that alternative lifestyle is normal.

Go and marry!!!

/

cucumbar:
😁😁😁 Wahala for who Dey groom girl from small Pikin to marry.

Now dem don leave you.

Woman no go follow you if you no fit pay their bills.

Forget the talk about love.

I hope you have learnt your lesson.

Mekuseh11:
When you pay attention to the intent of a word of advice, then you can gauge if it's from a place of care, concern or disguised mockery.

The " Go and marry" tag falls in line with the disguised mockery often packaged as a genuine concern.
Age, finance and status are mostly the determinant of these fallacious shows of sportsmanship as it is always a subtle way to remind you of your decline.
Rarely does happiness, companionship or even peace of mind be considered as a criteria for the supposed " Go and marry" advice.

Isn't it surprising that if there is a refusal on your part to cling onto the marriage ship, they throw in a subtle jibe and undertone caricature, reminding you of your anticipated decline and risk of losing out in life.
Every other achievement is discarded and you are faced with multiple reasons why you are on your way to doom.

Then the game starts,
Pressure from onlookers
Constant reminder of your lack of purpose (marriage wise)
Subtle jibe and derogatory insinuations
Age shaming and broke shaming.

It's like there is a calculated arrangement to undermine every good thing in your life outside of marriage.
Soon it gets to a stage where the pendulum swings and they become loud, aggressive, judgmental, mean, disrespectful and what have you! Just to sway and hasten your decision.

The question is why do you get offended at my refusal to heed your supposed advice?
Why am I getting mocked all of a sudden?
Why are my achievements secondary to your concerns?
Why do I need to prove my intent of life with marriage?

Think about it slowly!

We are all a product of life and it is expected through procreation to give life too. I understand that sometimes you need a slight push to make future decisions especially when it concerns others.
What I don't understand is why there is pressure to act quickly, a timer to determine my right to what fulfillment entails.
Maybe I'm overthinking, just maybe?

" Go and marry" is far from what it looks like, it has become a source of pain, caricature and a reminder of a looming failure.
The pressure takes a toll on people.
The sigh of relief that comes after marriage is mostly from a place of freedom against the society, instead of a genuine path to a beautiful next chapter.

ibechris:
This topic is between some of us that agreed and those who are likely to disagree.

The truth is this,if u have money and had the opportunity to have married like 5yrs ago when u were 35 and u didn't marry,as soon as u clock 40 and got married u will know within u,that u have messed up considering retirement and the lost yrs.
And to those who have decided not to marry,it is also a good decision. Reason is, every decision has its consequence and such is life. Everyone should enjoy. For me,I will advice that if u don't have money,pls don't marry. Marriage can kill u before ur time...the cost of running a family is crazy under this current president. I used to advice men to marry in their 30s but not anymore.

Pls,avoid it if u can.

shadrach77:
Never listen to anyone who tells you to go and marry. Marry only because you feel a genuine need to do so and you feel it will add benefits to your life.

85% of people who advice others to marry use that as a subtle way of mocking single people. Then some people are jealous of you because you don't have the kind of financial responsibilities they have so they want you to marry so that you can be like them.
Then you'll hear some people say unmarried people are irresponsible. Another foolish talk. When did marriage become an achievement? There are many married people who are irresponsible. Some of of the richest people in the world are unmarried - Bill Gates, Dangote, Elon Musk, Anthony Joshua etc.

Don't let anyone push you

Chief2410:
Misery likes company.They want you to also suffer what they are suffering. Hardly you see a Nigerian pressure you to come benefit from what he is benefitting from

Cti28:
I once said to some group of married men, that marriage is not an achievement; they nearly cried.

Gerrard59:
Ah! Tinubunomics must be so serious if you can write such.

Pennilessword1:
What if I don't genuinely want to just get married and don't even want kids ..? Why is marriage a criteria for most black people. Can't they think beyond marriage as an achievement?

ibechris:
My only saving grace was that I increased my income...the govt for expose me into mockery.
My monthly expense has gone up badly.

If I can complain as a married man who earn close to 4 to 5million I wonder what other would say.

The country's economy is in total shambles.

Gerrard59:
Interesting. Thank you for your comment. I never realised the country's economy to be so bad. The pictures and videos on Instagram told me otherwise.

Mekuseh11:
Are you due for marriage because you are 40 Or because you genuinely want a companion and life around you?
Sometimes we allow societal standards determine our course of action. Don't be pressured into anything.
Your priority now should be getting a stable source of income and then you can find a partner to build with ( there is someone out there for you).
Afterwards you can get married and still enjoy your life.

dederocs:
Jesus Christ who they worship didn't marry...some humans have low IQ and most are bitter from their unhappy miserable lives, ignore and avoid them.

Annahh:
"his children" your friend need to increase his income

femi4:
Wrong

It's about taking responsibility and being responsible in the society.

Why do you think landlords n some country's visa give priority to a family man

Banbanna:
That's how it is supposed to be. When you're in a marriageable age of mid-20s, 30s,or early 40s, you should get married.

But unfortunately the Nigerian economy under APC has disabled most men of marital age financially.
They're mostly preoccupied now with personal survival than anything else.
Those foreign countries that grant mostly married persons with visa approvals only do it without looking beyond the socioeconomic situations of their own countries. It's just based on the general assumption that's what had to be done at that stage in life, without considerations to the everyday realities of persons of those other countries.

I personally relate to this point you raised.
A travel agent that's helping to process my travel docs adviced me that I had better do a marriage certificate so has to boost my chances of getting my visa approved given the fact that I'm in my early 40s and unmarried.
Mehn, I just had to oblige her to be on the safer side.
It goes to show that we humans are generally family-oriented. We're primarily here to procreate & keep the circle of life going.

yongg:
They don't know, lols. When I say why don't they just die too since people their age have died, they'd start acting funny 🤣

Pressure for pressure.
It surprises me when they feel so entitled my life

dederocs:
How many of them secure their kids future?

All the area boys, criminals, touts, beggars, almajiris are people's children, they are just producing future liabilities and problems for the nation with so many poor kids...it is people with low IQ that mock others for this, great men are known by their inventions and contributions, it is dumb heads with their myopic view that think marriage or kids is an achievement, when even almajiris and mad men have wives and kids, even animals procreate.

Avoid and ignore such people.

Banbanna:
So you really told them that? You get mouth o. That's flippant mehn!
.

Basicend:
In today's world, 40 years of age is still okay for a man.

But you must start building on something meaningful for yourself and future at this stage. That's very important.

Otherwise, if you desire marriage later, it may continue to remain just in your dream.

Annahh:
"his children" your friend need to increase his income

Annahh:
You sef go and marry, what are you waiting for...

It's not usually said to women cause a man might not approach a woman which might be the reason for delay but a man in his 40s not married is a RED flag....

Oyindidi:
Na so una go talk till you realize your mistake com marry at 55years old. Your first pikin go dey 10 years and you go be 70 years. Go and marry now!!