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Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? - Romance - Nairaland

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Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by LasLas: 11:12am On Jun 10
Please nairalanders, I need your opinion and advice though i expect a lot of bashing because it is normal here on nairaland.

I met this girl two years back and we started dating since 2017. We have been into each other since then.

Recently i went to see her parents just to make my intentions known. After that, we both traveled to see my parents also.

Ever since we came back from my village i have been having this thoughts of divorce. I have this feeling that i will seek for divorce immediately after the wedding. I don't want to have a broken home. I don't want to cheat on my wife because if i eventually marry her with the way i am thinking now i must cheat on her which i don't want to happen in my marriage. I am thinking of quiting the relationship but i don't know how to go about it, how she will react, what her family members will say and react. I am so confused.

Please i need your advice.

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Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by Davash222(m): 11:15am On Jun 10
Obviously, you only want to marry her out of pity.

Give yourself some time and think about all these, marriage is different from dating.


Use your head.

138 Likes 12 Shares

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by cybersoldiers: 11:15am On Jun 10
LasLas:
Please nairalanders, I need your opinion and advice though i expect a lot of bashing because it is normal here on nairaland.
I met this girl two years back and we started dating since 2017. We have been into each other since then. Recently i went to see her parents just to make my intentions known. After that, we both traveled to see my parents also. Ever since we came back from my village i have been having this thoughts of divorce. I have this feeling that i will seek for divorce immediately after the wedding. I don't want to have a broken home. I don't want to cheat on my wife because if i eventually marry her with the way i am thinking now i must cheat on her which i don't want to happen in my marriage. I am thinking of quiting the relationship but i don't know how to go about it, how she will react, what her family members will say and react. I am so confused. Please i need your advice.

A broken friendship (relationship) is better than a broken marriage.

81 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by Shibaraba(m): 11:15am On Jun 10
Divorce came to mind because she did something either consciously or subconsciously and you hated it.

We wey dey the institution na prison we dey we no fit comot.
We dey push am like that. Wishing we weren't
But then again no one loves going down alone
So please marry. Make you feel wetin we dey feel

301 Likes 19 Shares

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by ChiefGuru24(m): 11:18am On Jun 10
You still Haven't told us what or why you're having such thoughts. If she has done nothing, then you're the one at fault for your incapability to control your sexual urges and so it will be pointless to carry on with the wedding unless you can fix yourself through counseling. But if she is at fault, then you let us know, then I'll teach you how to Fix her and get your relationship back to normal. Wish you luck

193 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by Oma307: 11:19am On Jun 10
you are not ready for marriage yet. just continue with your dating until your mind tells you to settle down properly

68 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by LasLas: 11:23am On Jun 10
Shibaraba:
Divorce came to mind because she did something either consciously or subconsciously and you hated it.

We wey dey the institution na prison we dey we no fit comot.
We dey push am like that. Wishing we weren't
But then again no one loves going down alone
So please marry. Make you feel wetin we dey feel
I am actually seeing some feminism traits in her and some other issues.... Sometimes now her talks irritates me

52 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by essenceplus: 11:24am On Jun 10
I'll park here. This is FP material. Where are the mods

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by LasLas: 11:24am On Jun 10
ChiefGuru24:
You still Haven't told us what or why you're having such thoughts. If she has done nothing, then you're the one at fault for your incapability to control your sexual urges and so it will be pointless to carry on with the wedding unless you can fix yourself through counseling. But if she is at fault, then you let us know, then I'll teach you how to Fix her and get your relationship back to normal. Wish you luck
Feminism traits and the likes....

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by abc115: 11:34am On Jun 10
Marriage is a difficult institution . All women are the same, it just depends on how you handle them. It is easy to bend a man than a woman. No perfect human being. Just follow your heart.

20 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by donbachi(m): 11:37am On Jun 10
Spiritually,someone is sitting on your marriage..how can you take your wife to be to your village to meet with parent.only to return back with the thought of ending it..it is not ordinary..when it comes to marriage,we pay more attentions to the physical,finances and human qualities negleting the spiritual side of marriage.both of you should seek the face of God.and pray.

174 Likes 11 Shares

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by LasLas: 11:40am On Jun 10
donbachi:
Spiritually,someone is sitting on your marriage..how can you take your wife to be to your village to meet with parent.only to return back with the thought of ending it..it is not ordinary..when it comes to marriage,we pay more attentions to the physical,finances and human qualities negleting the spiritual side of marriage.both of you should seek the face of God.and pray.
thank you for such advice

39 Likes

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by LasLas: 11:41am On Jun 10
abc115:
Marriage is a difficult institution . All women are the same, it just depends on how you handle them. It is easy to bend a man than a woman. No perfect human being. Just follow your heart.
Bros if i enter the marriage bros i think i won't last

2 Likes

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by dayleke(m): 11:43am On Jun 10
LasLas:

Feminism traits and the likes....

Please cite a couple of examples where you saw the traits and also what kinda talks of hers that irritated you.
Marriage is not for the feeble minded o.
You sha saw something in her initially that made you want to take that plunge before.
Did she just change to a "feminist-like person" overnight?

Please answer the above and elaborate sir.... undecided

64 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by missimelda01(f): 11:51am On Jun 10
Orishirishi!

There are more confused men out there than I know.. so just like that you're thinking of a divorce, at least tell us if she did anything wrong. It is not by force to marry, if you know you're not ready to be in a committed relationship stay on your own and stop leading ladies on.

44 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by Headlesschicken(m): 12:01pm On Jun 10
undecided From what i can gather i guess she x not fine...

11 Likes

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by Curlieweed: 12:46pm On Jun 10
LasLas:

Feminism traits and the likes....

Babe done dey balance small come feel free to show herself. Lol.

57 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by Curlieweed: 12:55pm On Jun 10
donbachi:
Spiritually,someone is sitting on your marriage..how can you take your wife to be to your village to meet with parent.only to return back with the thought of ending it..it is not ordinary..when it comes to marriage,we pay more attentions to the physical,finances and human qualities negleting the spiritual side of marriage.both of you should seek the face of God.and pray.

Forget all these spirit abi na wine. This is very obvious.

Babe done achieve major milestone, meeting the parents. She is now feeling more relaxed and showing more of her true self. Our guy is seeing her in this new light, coupled with the usual cold feet you get when entering into a very major undertaking. That is the cause of his discomfort.

He just needs to honestly ask himself if he can relate with an assertive partner. If he cannot, then he should call it quits.

95 Likes 8 Shares

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by ibkayee(f): 12:58pm On Jun 10
LasLas:

Feminism traits and the likes....
Feminism traits like what exactly? Please list them so it’s clear

You’ve been dating for 2 years, when exactly did the traits in her you dislike start manifesting?

Anyway you’re obviously not ready to get married to her, you have your reasons, fair enough. Please let her know as soon as you can so neither of you continue wasting any more time on each other.

38 Likes

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by ibkayee(f): 12:59pm On Jun 10
Dp
Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by LasLas: 2:47pm On Jun 10
Curlieweed:


Babe done dey balance small come feel free to show herself. Lol.
Not that she's really balance financially but from her statement and body language sometimes you will suspect such. I have actually told her that she's a ferminist and she laughed and told me she's not.... Am just scared because she might be hiding it now

4 Likes

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by Wizywiz(m): 3:31pm On Jun 10
LasLas:

Not that she's really balance financially but from her statement and body language sometimes you will suspect such. I have actually told her that she's a ferminist and she laughed and told me she's not.... Am just scared because she might be hiding it now
pls can u tell us specifically what she says or do that makes u feel she is a feminist or one with growing traits?

10 Likes

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by Funkyswagzz(m): 4:35pm On Jun 10
Don't start wat u can't finish bro.. it's better u discuss how u feel about her and make ur intensions clear.. women are meant to be controlled. If u don't see any positive result just let her know it's not gonna work and move on. Don't be sentimental about this cos it's ur future. Use ur head

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by lovelybugs(f): 4:48pm On Jun 10
"Feminism" one of the most misunderstood words in Nigeria

97 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by leonard002(m): 4:54pm On Jun 10
Hold on another 6 months. Don't take any rash decisions yet

16 Likes

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by ImaIma1(f): 5:21pm On Jun 10
Shibaraba:
Divorce came to mind because she did something either consciously or subconsciously and you hated it.

We wey dey the institution na prison we dey we no fit comot.
We dey push am like that. Wishing we weren't
But then again no one loves going down alone
So please marry. Make you feel wetin we dey feel


Really? That's terrible. I don't wish this for anybody.

5 Likes

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by ImaIma1(f): 5:24pm On Jun 10
lovelybugs:
"Feminism" one of the most misunderstood words in Nigeria


It is the new adjective for any woman that has a different opinion from a guy. Once you have a mind of your own and you are not an "oh yes" member, boom! You are a feminist

107 Likes 11 Shares

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by ImaIma1(f): 5:29pm On Jun 10
What feminist traits? I think quite a number of Nigerian guys misuse this word a lot. Or do you mean that she is showing traits if not being submissive?

20 Likes

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by Ogecakes: 5:35pm On Jun 10
donbachi:
Spiritually,someone is sitting on your marriage..how can you take your wife to be to your village to meet with parent.only to return back with the thought of ending it..it is not ordinary..when it comes to marriage,we pay more attentions to the physical,finances and human qualities negleting the spiritual side of marriage.both of you should seek the face of God.and pray.

Exactly, it doesn't look ordinary.

2 Likes

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by Ogecakes: 5:42pm On Jun 10
LasLas:
Please nairalanders, I need your opinion and advice though i expect a lot of bashing because it is normal here on nairaland.
I met this girl two years back and we started dating since 2017. We have been into each other since then. Recently i went to see her parents just to make my intentions known. After that, we both traveled to see my parents also. Ever since we came back from my village i have been having this thoughts of divorce. I have this feeling that i will seek for divorce immediately after the wedding. I don't want to have a broken home. I don't want to cheat on my wife because if i eventually marry her with the way i am thinking now i must cheat on her which i don't want to happen in my marriage. I am thinking of quiting the relationship but i don't know how to go about it, how she will react, what her family members will say and react. I am so confused. Please i need your advice.
@Lalasticlala....

Perhaps you haven't told us the whole story. What transpired in your village, if nothing at all, then someone or persons in your village is on your case. Please fast and pray, it's not easy or fair leading someone on for a whole 2 years. She must have ignored all other suitors just cos she believes this relationship was going somewhere. Please search your heart to know why you're feeling this way all of a sudden after going to your village. Then again a broken relationship is far much better than a broken marriage. Seek the face of God

16 Likes

Re: Should I Go Ahead And Marry Her? by Ogecakes: 5:46pm On Jun 10
LasLas:

Not that she's really balance financially but from her statement and body language sometimes you will suspect such. I have actually told her that she's a ferminist and she laughed and told me she's not.... Am just scared because she might be hiding it now

When you say feminist, what exactly did you see? A woman doesn't have to say Yes to all your whims ,just because she's a woman.

11 Likes

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