₦airaland Forum

Abagworo:
I love all my kids 100% equally

How did you handle that

SmartyPants:
Then your kids are still young and have not yet developed very distinct personalities. When they do, you will see the ones that remind you of you, or of your mother, or your wife, etc.

I agreed 💯 with u

Yes. I love all my kids equally. Some may require a little bit more tough love than others but I do not value anyone more than the other. It breeds contempt and disunity.

GiftofGod77:
Emphatically yes it is more than possible. No parent does not love each child equally even though some may seem to adopt attitudes that the parents do not like but still yet they still love them. As parents we may show errant or deviant children our displeasure or we may withdraw our affection but it does not in any way mean we do not love them. Look at the prodigal child in the Bible. Even though the child forced the Parent to give him his inheritance in an unorthodox manner which defines custom and tradition, the Parent still obliged and the child wasted those scarce resources for nothing but the vanity and the banality of flesh. Yet when the child came back the Bible tells us the Father ran and met him while he had not yet approached home and kissed him and made a great banquet. So yes All Parents love all their children even though their may be some who are deviants i agree but no true Parent to their call will chose to hate a child they prayed and asked God who they nurtured and trained to any adult age would reject them based on their prodigality tendencies....

Dear brother, are u married? Have u been blessed with kids?

SmartPolician:
Parents who claim they love their children equally are lying to themselves. When your child takes steps to please you and build the future you envision for him/her, there's no way you won't love them more than others. You can only try not show it so it doesn't cause bad blood among them.

Even God created us equally, but calls David the one after His heart because David understood that God loves praises and often goes buck naked to dance in praises to Him. His lifestyle endeared him to God.

He even chosed Jacob ahead of Esau right from their birth.

Kobojunkie:
1. I have never actually met parents who did that... loved their kids equally.

2. I don't know if it is possible, and it would be great if it were. But I have yet to meet parents who do.

Are you basing your assumption on the kind of parents around you

Zocalite:
Are you basing your assumption on the kind of parents around you

He stated the fact.

Even amongst siblings, u can't love all your siblings equally.

That's human nature, u can't love two or more people equally.

It is personal. IRE O.

Every possible question to ask on Nairaland was done within the first year. I have not seen any unique query over my fourteen year stay.

It is not possible

SmartPolician:
Parents who claim they love their children equally are lying to themselves. When your child takes steps to please you and build the future you envision for him/her, there's no way you won't love them more than others. You can only try not show it so it doesn't cause bad blood among them.

Even God created us equally, but calls David the one after His heart because David understood that God loves praises and often goes buck naked to dance in praises to Him. His lifestyle endeared him to God.

First God is creator not human being, and God is love

Have you read john3:16 and understand it

Now talking with intuition, are you expecting God to choose both Jacob and Esau for the Israel mission together

Read your Bible with mind of receiving and revealing from the holy spirit

Abagworo:
I love all my kids 100% equally

lies

Parents don’t love their kids equally when they turn adults

Kobojunkie:
1. I have never actually met parents who did that... loved their kids equally.

2. I don't know if it is possible, and it would be great if it were. But I have yet to meet parents who do.

It is very possible. I give myself as an example. But in terms of protection, you protect the younger ones more. I give all of them equal attention. In terms of gifts, I buy equally. I don't allow fighting no matter who offends who. I don't punish, I advise. They're all my pride

Zocalite:
First God is creator not human being, and God is love

Have you read john3:16 and understand it

Now talking with intuition, are you expecting God to choose both Jacob and Esau for the Israel mission together

Read your Bible with mind of receiving and revealing from the holy spirit

I'm afraid you didn't make any point.

I don't think so...

There is just that one who cracks the code either directly or indirectly to your "mumu button".

Parents can love all children, but parents get fond of some children eventually not all... This is most observed when they are grown.

MrPOTUS:
He stated the fact.

Even amongst siblings, u can't love all your siblings equally.

That's human nature, u can't love two or more people equally.

First the question is about loving your children, now you jump to siblings and human nature

Stay one lane

you have a rigid or shallow interpretation of love, you are just using the word relatively

What's the reason you don't love your siblings, okay the one that doesn't give you something Abi what

Well

SmartyPants:
Then your kids are still young and have not yet developed very distinct personalities. When they do, you will see the ones that remind you of you, or of your mother, or your wife, etc.

Yes they're still young but not very young

My mum's response when I asked this same question soe years back; "Yes parents do have favourites, hoever, its only a useless and unfortunate parent that will declare one as favourtite, it is not even supposed to be made obvious"

obembet:
My Dearest Nairalanders,. here we go today!

I strongly believe All children in a family should be treated equally, to prevent psychological problems. But sometimes, parents do have a special favourite.

Although, it is possible for parents to have a stronger emotional bond with one child over another, though this can vary based on numerous factors. The funniest part is that
Most parents are not aware that they may have a favorite child and generally feel that they love all their children the same.

Is there anyway to love all the kids in a family equality?

Kids are human, you can't love them all equally just as you don't love you siblings and parent equally, as a father I found out that I have come to love me boys differently based on their personalities,intelligency and gifts.
All I do is to show them how i love them equally but deep down I no what I feel about each of them .
I have taken time to ask them severally who they think is dad's favorite, and every time they always say different thing because even them are confused just like their mother.
E no eazy at all to mentain order and sanity.

This has destroyed so many homes. Favouritism

I’ve seen firsthand that some parents don’t love their children equally—especially in polygamous homes, where favoritism can be more pronounced. Sometimes, a father may silently wish for the children of a particular wife to succeed more than the others, giving them more opportunities, resources, and attention. It’s a painful reality that often goes unspoken.

But for a parent to truly love all their children equally, they must first acknowledge any bias they’ve shown—something many parents, particularly in African contexts, are reluctant to do. Instead of facing this truth, they may try to manipulate or guilt the child who feels less loved into accepting their place quietly, rather than responding to their rightful call for equal treatment.

In such situations, no amount of effort will ever seem enough. So at some point, the best thing you can do is accept the reality for what it is, focus on building your own life, and move in the direction of love, respect, and appreciation—even if that means finding it outside your own home.

Also note that nothing a child who is ever love the least can do for a parent who loved less will ever be enough or appreciated.

It's not possible to like them equally but it's wise not to let it known to them that some are more favoured because it can result to division, malice and acrimony in the family.

I love all my children equally...... Why would I love them selectively? 🤔

Abagworo:
I love all my kids 100% equally

.

Deep down in you, you know your favorite. Your equal love is fiction

obembet:
My Dearest Nairalanders,. here we go today!

I strongly believe All children in a family should be treated equally, to prevent psychological problems. But sometimes, parents do have a special favourite.

Although, it is possible for parents to have a stronger emotional bond with one child over another, though this can vary based on numerous factors. The funniest part is that
Most parents are not aware that they may have a favorite child and generally feel that they love all their children the same.

Is there anyway to love all the kids in a family equality?

All children are different with different needs so the goal is not to treat them equally but to attend to each according to their needs.
As for love, we don't control how we love. Love isn't something that we decide how to divide it. But no matter the love or emotional attachment, every parent should give their 100% to each child according to the best of their ability. It's a duty and shouldn't be debated or negotiated.

No
But no shown it

kennyz247:
And mostly the most unloved/hated child always become the rock of the house in future..

I was not stressing anyone growing up so my birthdays and other stuffs were ignored. Things that get people worked up don't bother me till date. As the middle child i knew i was the least loved.
My dad was the quiet type but my late mum and relatives living with us were sceptical of what the future holds for me,they never stopped talking about it. But what they liked about me is my retentive memory and how my advices mostly worked. They even called me prophet for these though I don't like going to church
I became an adult and shocked all of them My late mum and the committee of doubters became proud I turned out well.

It's all about striking a balance and letting the children understand the importance of reward and punishment. Communication is key as children assume a lot. One needs to communicate with the children. It's just like when you discipline your child. You let them understand that you have no animosity towards them and let dem realize that. Same goes for when you reward a child. The love can never be equal but at least there is balance which wouldn't tilt the scale of love in a glaring manner. Just my 2 cents as that's how I treat my children

Kobojunkie:
1. I have never actually met parents who did that... loved their kids equally.

2. I don't know if it is possible, and it would be great if it were. But I have yet to meet parents who do.

Not equally...but with equity. No two souls are the same on earth. You tailor your "love" to peculiarities.

No Long Story ... Answer is.. NO..