₦airaland Forum

Chilipepper:
"I never wooed my woman also. Anytime she asks abt when I would propose, I smile.

In May, I asked if they sold wedding rings in Abk. She said yes. Asked her to go there. Told me the price, & I sent it, she bought it herself and fixed it. Got married last Thursday. It only works when the woman genuinely desires you. You'd regret it if you try it with a woman who doesn't and that's a positive regret".

Why would anyone want to get married to someone who doesn't desire them though?

Omoapena:
this wasn't exactly what you said, don't ridicule your wife online.

that's no respectful way to propose.

Mscheww shift away from here with your crowd mentality.

Which one is respectful way to propose. Until he takes loan and spends 3 million on flowers then goes on his knees to grovel like a dog?!

Some of you have no mind of your own.

So far he is happy and the lady in question is happy. Both are happy you opinion no matter

Melagros:
COMRADES are speechless at this dude, this is the method I will also apply when getting marry, I no get time for any so-called white wedding spending/ elaborative wedding.

The way I detest elaborate wedding ehn. I mean what's the noise for. It's meant to be a private moment with few family members or select friends.

Azazyel:
Does kneeling to propose guarantee a successful marriage? Or would it feed children in the future? You people that are so obsessed with social media trends and irrelevant stuff. Una nor dey tire?

and, where did I mention kneeling guarantees successful marriage, keep making up things I never said in your head.

all I said was that ain't right way to propose, if you can't do it right, do not do it at all.

there's something called respect and you should respect your partner and not have ultra ego cox you want to marry someone.

Omoapena:
and, where did I mention kneeling guarantees successful marriage, keep making up things I never said in your head.

all I said was that ain't right way to propose, if you can't do it right, do not do it at all.

there's something called respect and you should respect your partner and not have ultra ego cox you want to marry someone.

Abeg stop all the balabulu talk. What yeye proposal? If the guy did not do it the way you want, is it your business? Na you go help am take care of his family? As long as his wife loves him that way, it's nobody's business.

Omoapena:
this wasn't exactly what you said, don't ridicule your wife online.

that's no respectful way to propose.

Respectfully, there’s nothing ridiculous about our story, it’s just real. Every relationship has its own rhythm. Some propose on one knee with a violin in the background, some do it over a quiet meal and a shared smile. What matters isn’t the format, it’s the commitment. My wife and I cherish our story, and that’s what counts. We are in this beautiful marriage or 6 years and God has being so gracious to us.

Omoapena:
this wasn't exactly what you said, don't ridicule your wife online.

that's no respectful way to propose.

Ridicule? That’s your own interpretation. My wife and I aren’t performing for society, we’re building something real.
Not every proposal has to go viral. Respect isn’t in how you kneel, it’s in how you show up daily after the ring is on.

Chilipepper:
✓ "I never wooed my woman also. Anytime she asks abt when I would propose, I smile.
In May, I asked if they sold wedding rings in Abk. She said yes. Asked her to go there. Told me the price, & I sent it, she bought it herself and fixed it. Got married last Thursday. It only works when the woman genuinely desires you. You'd regret it if you try it with a woman who doesn't and that's a positive regret".

And when this woman finally realizes na she been dey carry this relationship for her head and chooses to call it quits years into the marriage, this one go come dey play victim.

emmyN:
✓ Why would anyone want to get married to someone who doesn't desire them though?

Same reason people like this man look for relationships with only women manipulate and train. They are all trying to compensate and meet emotional needs. Yes, even those who manipulate others in relationships lie the man do so as a way to fulfill emotional needs, such as attention, affection, or validation, by controlling how others perceive and interact with them.

skultrick:
A narcissistic is speaking. Hope this marriage will last. He feels like he's doing her a favour by marrying her.

Before nko?

Is he not?

Do you know the number of evening newspapers out there?

Denalarian:
No body cares how you bought the god damn ring. Just get married and feed the family well.

Thats all 100%
Every other thing involves copy copy from others which will not matter in the MARRIAGE.

Ishilove:
So much ado about proposals.

I see ignorant people talking about desperation, meanwhile this proposal things is a western construct. If after a month of dating you don't have a clear direction of where this relationship is headed then I don't see why are on a relationship. Most of these so-called relationships are just opportunities for people to fornicate. When two people have a common goal, there is no need for this so called proposal. A simple "when can I come see your people" is proposal. No need for all these nonsense drama about rings and "will you marry me?" If you won't marry him then what are you doing with him?

'When can I come and see your people' or 'Give me your daddy's number' or 'when will your parents be at home' actually sound more respectable than the OP.

Proposals don't have to be 'go down on one knee with all the romp & fluff' or public however, it should be done with decency and a manner that shows that the man genuinely desires to build his life with that woman.

The OP sounds like a charity case.

You'd regret it with a woman who doesn't desire you and that's a positive regret.

I love this.

Thundafireseun:
This two people neither love themselves nor respect themselves…

The guy is obviously rich and the girl is obviously desperate….

Meanwhile nah dem sabi

How do people that loved themselves behave or proposed? They guy was supposed to kneel on the floor, with other surprises while the girl was supposed to stand on a mountain top then with a parachute coming down to meet the guy, then she viewing massive billboard with the inscription will you marry me.

My friend go sit one place if you no get better things to say.

Ishilove:
So much ado about proposals.

I see ignorant people talking about desperation, meanwhile this proposal things is a western construct. If after a month of dating you don't have a clear direction of where this relationship is headed then I don't see why are on a relationship. Most of these so-called relationships are just opportunities for people to fornicate. When two people have a common goal, there is no need for this so called proposal. A simple "when can I come see your people" is proposal. No need for all these nonsense drama about rings and "will you marry me?" If you won't marry him then what are you doing with him?

Must all relationship lead to marriage?

Man needs woman and vice versa

Sex and procreation are not marriage-centered. It's natural.

Marriage, like religion is a man-made creation

I did my introduction last week and didn't even propose to my fiancee.

2 weeks before the introduction, I visited her at the new place she and her parents moved to and as we were talking, I just told her parents that I will be coming with my people in two weeks time for introduction. My babe was surprised and just laughed. The parents have been my friends for many years so it was easy to talk and relate with them.

Last week, I came with my people and the introduction was done.

No will you marry me, no ring, just straight to business.

Thundafireseun:
This two people neither love themselves nor respect themselves…

The guy is obviously rich and the girl is obviously desperate….

Meanwhile nah dem sabi

Which kind bad belle be this na brother?
Dddddddd

Saviola86:
✓ I did my introduction last week and didn't even propose to my fiancee.

2 weeks before the introduction, I visited her at the new place she and her parents moved to and as we were talking, I just told her parents that I will be coming with my people in two weeks time for introduction. My babe was surprised and just laughed. The parents have been my friends for many years so it was easy to talk and relate with them.
Last week, I came with my people and the introduction was done.
No will you marry me, no ring, just straight to business.

This isn't about going down on one knee to propose and all that sort but respecting your partner enough to respectfully ask if she will also choose you for marriage at that point in time. You claim you literally shoved marriage at your girl and her parents and they accepted. You disregarded her life and plans in making your own decision there. Hope you will not be mad if years down the line, they too literally shove divorce at you or something.

ogascomax:
✓ How do people that loved themselves behave or proposed? They guy was supposed to kneel on the floor, with other surprises while the girl was supposed to stand on a mountain top then with a parachute coming down to meet the guy, then she viewing massive billboard with the inscription will you marry me.
My friend go sit one place if you no get better things to say.

Love does not exist without respect and consideration. Forget what you think of proposals but when a man has little regard for the feelings, life and decisions of his partner, he is heading no where near love.

What the OP wrote indicates a general lack of respect for the woman and hence absolutely no love for her. He cares about himself and not the relationship or even the woman. It is almost like he is telling us he is managing her. How long do you think she will let him continue to manage(manipulation involved of course) her before she open eye for him? The sad is when he comes pretending he was a victim in all of this, he will forget to mention the many times he disrespected and belittled her

njokuuche77:
✓ Ridicule? That’s your own interpretation. My wife and I aren’t performing for society, we’re building something real.
Not every proposal has to go viral. Respect isn’t in how you kneel, it’s in how you show up daily after the ring is on.

Proposals have nothing to do with respect but fancy. So, don't worry about those and focus on the fact that the claims made in the OP are entirely disrespectful to anyone particularly to someone one plans to marry. 🤔

If in fact you treat your wife in the manner described in the OP, please be certain not to come crying victim when that pot finally boils over.

Kobojunkie:
Same reason people like this man look for relationships with only women manipulate and train. They are all trying to compensate and meet emotional needs. Yes, even those who manipulate others in relationships lie the man do so as a way to fulfill emotional needs, such as attention, affection, or validation, by controlling how others perceive and interact with them.

While we cannot fully judge the OP from just this one time, I do agree that his proposal could have been much better. The way he presented it seemed very self-centered, almost like he only thought about himself and what he wanted, which comes across as egotistical.

Kobojunkie:
Proposals have nothing to do with respect but fancy. So, don't worry about those and focus on the fact that the claims made in the OP are entirely disrespectful to anyone particularly to someone one plans to marry. 🤔

If in fact you treat your wife in the manner described in the OP, please be certain not to come crying victim when that pot finally boils over.

You’re overreaching. I never said proposals equate to respect, I said respect shows in how you treat your partner beyond the ring. Some people value grand gestures, others value simple sincerity. My wife understood my intent, accepted it joyfully, and we’ve built something solid. If it bothers you, maybe it’s not about me, it’s your own expectations you’re wrestling with. Let’s not confuse simplicity with neglect.
I’ve seen grand proposals get rejected publicly, roses, saxophones, crowd, and still the woman said “no.”

njokuuche77:
✓ You’re overreaching. I never said proposals equate to respect, I said respect shows in how you treat your partner beyond the ring. Some people value grand gestures, others value simple sincerity.
✓ My wife understood my intent, accepted it joyfully, and we’ve built something solid. If it bothers you, maybe it’s not about me, it’s your own expectations you’re wrestling with. Let’s not confuse simplicity with neglect.
✓ I’ve seen grand proposals get rejected publicly, roses, saxophones, crowd, and still the woman said “no.”

You aren't making sense. The woman desire the ring. You belittle and disrespect her in giving her the ring, yet you expect that you would treat her better beyond the ring? And you folks have wonder why women now turn on you eventually?

2. You disrespected your wife while giving her the ring and you want us to believe she was OK with the disrespect? 🥱🥱🥱

3. This ain't nothing about proposals but about the respect you have for your so-called partner abi na wife. 🥱🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
You aren't making sense. The woman desire the ring. You belittle and disrespect her in giving her the ring, yet you expect that you would treat her better beyond the ring? And you folks have wonder why women now turn on you eventually?

2. You disrespected your wife while giving her the ring and you want us to believe she was OK with the disrespect? 🥱🥱🥱

3. This ain't nothing about proposals but about the respect you have for your so-called partner abi na wife. 🥱🥱🥱

You carry panadol for person sweet marriage, na wa ooo.
You called it “disrespect,” but my wife called it “beautiful” and that’s the only validation that matters.
You don’t know her, her personality, or our dynamic, so respectfully, you have zero qualification to dictate how she should accept love.

Not everyone needs an audience to validate a life decision. Some of us build homes, not perform for the timeline.
If you can’t understand that love isn’t one-size-fits-all, that’s not my problem, it’s your limitation.

Focus on your own standards, not mine. We’re living, not auditioning.
Abeg rest easy, commentator-in-chief.

Kobojunkie:
Love does not exist without respect and consideration. Forget what you think of proposals but when a man has little regard for the feelings, life and decisions of his partner, he is heading no where near love.

What the OP wrote indicates a general lack of respect for the woman and hence absolutely no love for her. He cares about himself and not the relationship or even the woman. It is almost like he is telling us he is managing her. How long do you think she will let him continue to manage(manipulation involved of course) her before she open eye for him? The sad is when he comes pretending he was a victim in all of this, he will forget to mention the many times he disrespected and belittled her

The facts that he did it in a weird manner has nothing to do with love. I won't kneel to propose to a woman. Does that mean I don't love her. Everybody will not follow the conversational way and I will not do that.
Many proposed with drama and today the relationship or marriage is no where, dead.

So? I heard of a relationship where both partners already got into the groove of marriage. One day, he asked “want to get married?” She said “yeah.” They fixed a date and they’re about to clock twenty official years soon with fully fledged adult children. There is no one-size-fits-all manual to life.

ogascomax:
✓ The facts that he did it in a weird manner has nothing to do with love. I won't kneel to propose to a woman. Does that mean I don't love her. Everybody will not follow the conversational way and I will not do that.
Many proposed with drama and today the relationship or marriage is no where, dead.

There has never been law or rule mandating kneeling during proposals. Your particular fixation with that is all you. What OP, however, described is disrespectful behavior towards someone he wants us to believe he intends to marry and expect a good life with. Or maybe not.

Kobojunkie:
This isn't about going down on one knee to propose and all that sort but respecting your partner enough to respectfully ask if she will also choose you for marriage at that point in time. You claim you literally shoved marriage at your girl and her parents and they accepted. You disregarded her life and plans in making your own decision there. Hope you will not be mad if years down the line, they too literally shove divorce at you or something.

That's your opinion and I respect it

You really do not know how we relate, how far we've come and my relationship with the family. It's your opinion sha