What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know - Family

What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know - Family - Nairaland

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What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by giftson102(op): 7:56pm On Jul 12, 2025

This is for those planning to marry or those who just got married.
If you are open-minded, you can still read.
Nobody knows it all.

1. Immediately you get married, even before having a baby, go and register your family for health insurance.
NHIS is one of the common ones and the most available in hospitals.
It will save you a lot.
There are some things the rich won’t tell you.
With NHIS, you can walk into any hospital and get treated cheap depending on the package.
A friend of mine once did an operation and all he paid was ₦10k something that would have cost ₦400k.

2. Have a family doctor very very important.
See, no church will tell you this.
Even if you don’t have money for a family doctor, have someone you can call in case of emergency.
Especially a pediatrician when you start having kids.

3. Also, have a family lawyer.
Recently, our family lawyer saved us over ₦500k in rent that I wanted to forfeit.
But because she stepped in and did her job, money was refunded seamlessly.

4. If you can afford it, have at least one domestic staff.
Someone that can at least help ease the work in the house for you and madam.
My brother, ejiro kwa afufu anya isi.
Get help if you can.

5. Buy things in bulk.
The reason I live like a wealthy man today is because I buy everything I need down to toothpaste in bulk.
You spend more buying in bits than when you buy in bulk.
That’s one of the reasons I created my sharing platform to enable family men and women with common goals.
There is nothing we don’t share. Some of you reading this are in that group.

6. Pay your children’s school fees before school resumes.
As I’m talking to you now, I’ve already sent SGM the kids’ school fees that’ll be paid in September.
I don’t have to worry about it again.
It helps me plan myself.
Do everything possible to pay school fees before resumption. You won’t know what you’re doing until money goes on leave from your side.

7. Strive to have passive income.
Something that can generate at least ₦3-5k every day.
No matter what try and get something like that.
It will save you from a lot of stress.

8. See the friends and circle your kids will have tomorrow everything depends on the school they attend.
This one is very, very important.
Even if you don’t have money, find a way to send your children to one of the best schools.
You won’t realise what you’re doing until they come of age.

9.I learnt this one from my dad always have family meetings.
You, your wife, and your kids no matter how small they are.
Discuss problems, solutions, and way forward.
Allow the kids air their opinions.

Ask the kids:
🔹Is there something mummy and daddy are doing that they don’t like?

Same thing with your wife.
Talk about what you both can do to have a stable and loving family.
This helps in uniting the family.

Every month is fine or even every 6 months.
Just make it a habit and a culture.
It’ll become a memory that sticks for the kids, and for you and madam too.

Everyone’s opinion in the family matters.
And as the man, it’s your job to hear everybody’s opinion and choose the best way to run the family.

This isn’t just for the man alone madam can initiate it too. There’s no perfect formula, yes. But this one I listed? It works every time.
I repeat if you try it, you’ll save yourself a lot of unnecessary headache and stress.
You can add yours
Good morning and enjoy your weekend.

*File photo atttached by admin for illustration

296 Likes 57 Shares

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by immortalcrown(m): 8:06pm On Jul 12, 2025*

I am still single but I already have two health insurance plans. Health insurance is necessary all the time. You need it before, during and even after marriage.

I have a family reliable private hospital I can visit anytime. So what exactly does it mean to have a family doctor?

Whoever has the money to pay school fees before school resumption can as well pay the fees when school has resumed. Who paid before resumption and who paid after resumption paid the same amount. It is not like inflation will change the amount within the term or semester. There is no benefit in paying the fees before school resumption unless you have a very bad spending habit.

I sincerely need an explanation on having a family lawyer. Does it mean you will be paying the lawyer monthly or yearly fee even if the lawyer does not handle any case for you within the month or year?

Domestic staff? Get one if you and your spouse are too occupied with office tasks and you don't have a relative that can live with you. As for me, I have relatives I can feed and train in school while they live with me and assist me with chores. But if my wife chooses not to do business or get a job, she can do the chores except when she is ill, pregnant or nursing a baby that is less than a year old. I will assist her when I am at home. If you like, claim that I am stressing her. All I know is that women who are committed to their marriages do not find chores difficult. They only want their husbands to assist when the husbands are available.

Slay queens are the ones that will be jobless and want a domestic staff so that they can jump from one salon to another to test all brands of hair, makeup and nails. They are addicted to "organic skincare" and refuse to even cook because the chemical makes their skin allergic to heat. 😂 And na dem dey divorce when money finish.

Every other thing you wrote here has always been a common practise among African or Nigerian parents.

66 Likes 6 Shares

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by SyrusdeHansome(m): 8:57pm On Jul 12, 2025

Nice advice but everything you listed up there depends on how wealthy or rich a person is before getting married.

56 Likes 2 Shares

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by Viserion: 12:22am On Jul 13, 2025

giftson102:
This is for those planning to marry or those who just got married.
If you are open-minded, you can still read.
Nobody knows it all.

1.

This is is very good to learn.

Concerning the health insurance, can you please elaborate more as I believe many of us here would love to learn how to go about it, registration, cost and so on thanks

5 Likes

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by ruggedtimi(m): 3:24am On Jul 13, 2025

No 8...I dis-gree with you on that. Talking from experience.

6 Likes

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by JOACHINpedro: 5:56am On Jul 13, 2025

This is a great content.
Thank you Op for not hoarding this vital info

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by ReacherSaidNoth: 7:14am On Jul 13, 2025*

In summary, have money. Nothing new.

What I want to know is why people in a country horrible in all things are eager to start a family while those in the developed world are avoidant.

37 Likes 1 Share

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by silibaba: 7:40am On Jul 13, 2025

Nothing new or special here.

4 Likes 3 Shares

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by NairaLikes: 7:40am On Jul 13, 2025

ReacherSaidNoth:
In summary, have money. Nothing new.

What I want to know is why people in a country horrible in all things are eager to start a family while their those in the developed world are avoidant.

Very good observation, the answer is lack of exposure and enlightenment. It is the same reason why poor people breed like rats while rich people have 3 maximum.

17 Likes

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by silibaba: 7:42am On Jul 13, 2025

ReacherSaidNoth:
In summary, have money. Nothing new.

What I want to know is why people in a country horrible in all things are eager to start a family while their those in the developed world are avoidant.

They see it as intimidation(if they have not gotten it) or achievement(if they have gotten it).

7 Likes

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by nnamdi640: 7:58am On Jul 13, 2025

giftson102:
This is for those planning to marry or those who just got married.
If you are open-minded, you can still read.
Nobody knows it all.

1. Immediately you get married, even before having a baby, go and register your family for health insurance.
NHIS is one of the common ones and the most available in hospitals.
It will save you a lot.
There are some things the rich won’t tell you.
With NHIS, you can walk into any hospital and get treated cheap depending on the package.
A friend of mine once did an operation and all he paid was ₦10k something that would have cost ₦400k.

2. Have a family doctor very very important.
See, no church will tell you this.
Even if you don’t have money for a family doctor, have someone you can call in case of emergency.
Especially a pediatrician when you start having kids.

3. Also, have a family lawyer.
Recently, our family lawyer saved us over ₦500k in rent that I wanted to forfeit.
But because she stepped in and did her job, money was refunded seamlessly.

4. If you can afford it, have at least one domestic staff.
Someone that can at least help ease the work in the house for you and madam.
My brother, ejiro kwa afufu anya isi.
Get help if you can.

5. Buy things in bulk.
The reason I live like a wealthy man today is because I buy everything I need down to toothpaste in bulk.
You spend more buying in bits than when you buy in bulk.
That’s one of the reasons I created my sharing platform to enable family men and women with common goals.
There is nothing we don’t share. Some of you reading this are in that group.

6. Pay your children’s school fees before school resumes.
As I’m talking to you now, I’ve already sent SGM the kids’ school fees that’ll be paid in September.
I don’t have to worry about it again.
It helps me plan myself.
Do everything possible to pay school fees before resumption. You won’t know what you’re doing until money goes on leave from your side.

7. Strive to have passive income.
Something that can generate at least ₦3-5k every day.
No matter what try and get something like that.
It will save you from a lot of stress.

8. See the friends and circle your kids will have tomorrow everything depends on the school they attend.
This one is very, very important.
Even if you don’t have money, find a way to send your children to one of the best schools.
You won’t realise what you’re doing until they come of age.

9.I learnt this one from my dad always have family meetings.
You, your wife, and your kids no matter how small they are.
Discuss problems, solutions, and way forward.
Allow the kids air their opinions.

Ask the kids:
🔹Is there something mummy and daddy are doing that they don’t like?

Same thing with your wife.
Talk about what you both can do to have a stable and loving family.
This helps in uniting the family.

Every month is fine or even every 6 months.
Just make it a habit and a culture.
It’ll become a memory that sticks for the kids, and for you and madam too.

Everyone’s opinion in the family matters.
And as the man, it’s your job to hear everybody’s opinion and choose the best way to run the family.

This isn’t just for the man alone madam can initiate it too. There’s no perfect formula, yes. But this one I listed? It works every time.
I repeat if you try it, you’ll save yourself a lot of unnecessary headache and stress.
You can add yours
Good morning and enjoy your weekend.

Thanks for this beautiful advice

5 Likes

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by Broveens42(m): 8:10am On Jul 13, 2025

Easier said.

The major thing about marriage is common sense. And common sense requires you understand marriage as a business.

1. How can you be an average earner and you are attracted to a dependant

2 How can you have a free house in your village with large farm lands and spaces at the market square, and you feel you can start life in town, by paying outrageous bills ?

29 Likes 1 Share

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by Samantha125(f): 8:27am On Jul 13, 2025

1. I have both health insurance and funeral policy.
4. Get a domestic staff or a monitoring spirit? I still have trust issues there, especially when it comes to my own gender, we're our own biggest enemies.

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by Gotocourt: 8:31am On Jul 13, 2025

Start with a well educated partner, avoid generational poverty . Pikin wey go spoil go spoil. Use wisdom in all you do👌💯

27 Likes 2 Shares

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by Juliearth(f): 9:37am On Jul 13, 2025

giftson102:
This is for those planning to marry or those who just got married.
If you are open-minded, you can still read.
Nobody knows it all.

1. Immediately you get married, even before having a baby, go and register your family for health insurance.
NHIS is one of the common ones and the most available in hospitals.
It will save you a lot.
There are some things the rich won’t tell you.
With NHIS, you can walk into any hospital and get treated cheap depending on the package.
A friend of mine once did an operation and all he paid was ₦10k something that would have cost ₦400k.

2. Have a family doctor very very important.
See, no church will tell you this.
Even if you don’t have money for a family doctor, have someone you can call in case of emergency.
Especially a pediatrician when you start having kids.

3. Also, have a family lawyer.
Recently, our family lawyer saved us over ₦500k in rent that I wanted to forfeit.
But because she stepped in and did her job, money was refunded seamlessly.

4. If you can afford it, have at least one domestic staff.
Someone that can at least help ease the work in the house for you and madam.
My brother, ejiro kwa afufu anya isi.
Get help if you can.

5. Buy things in bulk.
The reason I live like a wealthy man today is because I buy everything I need down to toothpaste in bulk.
You spend more buying in bits than when you buy in bulk.
That’s one of the reasons I created my sharing platform to enable family men and women with common goals.
There is nothing we don’t share. Some of you reading this are in that group.

6. Pay your children’s school fees before school resumes.
As I’m talking to you now, I’ve already sent SGM the kids’ school fees that’ll be paid in September.
I don’t have to worry about it again.
It helps me plan myself.
Do everything possible to pay school fees before resumption. You won’t know what you’re doing until money goes on leave from your side.

7. Strive to have passive income.
Something that can generate at least ₦3-5k every day.
No matter what try and get something like that.
It will save you from a lot of stress.

8. See the friends and circle your kids will have tomorrow everything depends on the school they attend.
This one is very, very important.
Even if you don’t have money, find a way to send your children to one of the best schools.
You won’t realise what you’re doing until they come of age.

9.I learnt this one from my dad always have family meetings.
You, your wife, and your kids no matter how small they are.
Discuss problems, solutions, and way forward.
Allow the kids air their opinions.

Ask the kids:
🔹Is there something mummy and daddy are doing that they don’t like?

Same thing with your wife.
Talk about what you both can do to have a stable and loving family.
This helps in uniting the family.

Every month is fine or even every 6 months.
Just make it a habit and a culture.
It’ll become a memory that sticks for the kids, and for you and madam too.

Everyone’s opinion in the family matters.
And as the man, it’s your job to hear everybody’s opinion and choose the best way to run the family.

This isn’t just for the man alone madam can initiate it too. There’s no perfect formula, yes. But this one I listed? It works every time.
I repeat if you try it, you’ll save yourself a lot of unnecessary headache and stress.
You can add yours
Good morning and enjoy your weekend.

These points are valid and very practical. Good job!

4 Likes

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by Juliearth(f): 9:39am On Jul 13, 2025

SyrusdeHansome:
Nice advice but everything you listed up there depends on how wealthy or rich a person is before getting married.

It is not necessarily so. All it takes is proper planning. You preempt an expense and plan for it before it suffices. For instance you could dedicstr two months' income to shop for the year. To ease things up further, couples most times set up a savings plan for their children even before they are born. That serves as a reservoir of resources that could cover the kids' expenses.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by Broveens42(m): 10:57am On Jul 13, 2025

Juliearth:
It is not necessarily so. All it takes is proper planning. You preempt an expense and plan for it before it suffices. For instance you could dedicstr two months' income to shop for the year. To ease things up further, couples most times set up a savings plan for their children even before they are born. That serves as a reservoir of resources that could cover the kids' expenses.

He is right.
Your plan ends in your diary when you don't have the resources to execute.

What the OP listed can best be described as a marriage plan for above average man.

What you should consider before going into marriage generally, are foundational factors that affect marriage:

1. Productivity and contribution of both partners.
2. Prioritizing needs over wants
3. Avoiding social media influence or peer pressure
4. Making use of available or scarce resources within a familiar environment for your own benefit: I still wonder why a man with an inherited duplex in his village, big farm and market spaces,would prefer renting a 2 bed room in a certain city, just to earn below 100k

12 Likes

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by Letmecum: 11:58am On Jul 13, 2025

Oga if na like this our father take marriage we for no dey here. Those that are poor won't get married. Na surviver to the fittest

1 Like

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by liveyourlife007(m): 12:01pm On Jul 13, 2025

ReacherSaidNoth:
In summary, have money. Nothing new.

What I want to know is why people in a country horrible in all things are eager to start a family while their those in the developed world are avoidant.

Abi. he even mentioned he is living like a wealthy man.

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by thesicilian: 12:20pm On Jul 13, 2025

If you have enough money to pay school fees 3 months ahead and buy household items in bulk, then you don't really have a problem to begin with.

31 Likes

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by labake1(f): 12:22pm On Jul 13, 2025

Noted
Na to marry remain

2 Likes

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by Adeoye11(m): 12:37pm On Jul 13, 2025

labake1:
Noted
Na to marry remain

Come and marry me now , if you never get person wey dey oil your engine.
If you marry me woh you go too read and plan on things Cos I don't have time o.

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by labake1(f): 12:41pm On Jul 13, 2025

Adeoye11:
Come and marry me now , if you never get person wey dey oil your engine.
If you marry me woh you go too read and plan on things Cos I don't have time o.

I never get person. I still dey find but as you say you no get time, hope you are fine and well?

5 Likes

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by SouthSouth1914: 12:43pm On Jul 13, 2025

giftson102:
This is for those planning to marry or those who just got married.
If you are open-minded, you can still read.
Nobody knows it all.

1. Immediately you get married, even before having a baby, go and register your family for health insurance.
NHIS is one of the common ones and the most available in hospitals.
It will save you a lot.
There are some things the rich won’t tell you.
With NHIS, you can walk into any hospital and get treated cheap depending on the package.
A friend of mine once did an operation and all he paid was ₦10k something that would have cost ₦400k.

2. Have a family doctor very very important.
See, no church will tell you this.
Even if you don’t have money for a family doctor, have someone you can call in case of emergency.
Especially a pediatrician when you start having kids.

3. Also, have a family lawyer.
Recently, our family lawyer saved us over ₦500k in rent that I wanted to forfeit.
But because she stepped in and did her job, money was refunded seamlessly.

4. If you can afford it, have at least one domestic staff.
Someone that can at least help ease the work in the house for you and madam.
My brother, ejiro kwa afufu anya isi.
Get help if you can.

5. Buy things in bulk.
The reason I live like a wealthy man today is because I buy everything I need down to toothpaste in bulk.
You spend more buying in bits than when you buy in bulk.
That’s one of the reasons I created my sharing platform to enable family men and women with common goals.
There is nothing we don’t share. Some of you reading this are in that group.

6. Pay your children’s school fees before school resumes.
As I’m talking to you now, I’ve already sent SGM the kids’ school fees that’ll be paid in September.
I don’t have to worry about it again.
It helps me plan myself.
Do everything possible to pay school fees before resumption. You won’t know what you’re doing until money goes on leave from your side.

7. Strive to have passive income.
Something that can generate at least ₦3-5k every day.
No matter what try and get something like that.
It will save you from a lot of stress.

8. See the friends and circle your kids will have tomorrow everything depends on the school they attend.
This one is very, very important.
Even if you don’t have money, find a way to send your children to one of the best schools.
You won’t realise what you’re doing until they come of age.

9.I learnt this one from my dad always have family meetings.
You, your wife, and your kids no matter how small they are.
Discuss problems, solutions, and way forward.
Allow the kids air their opinions.

Ask the kids:
🔹Is there something mummy and daddy are doing that they don’t like?

Same thing with your wife.
Talk about what you both can do to have a stable and loving family.
This helps in uniting the family.

Every month is fine or even every 6 months.
Just make it a habit and a culture.
It’ll become a memory that sticks for the kids, and for you and madam too.

Everyone’s opinion in the family matters.
And as the man, it’s your job to hear everybody’s opinion and choose the best way to run the family.

This isn’t just for the man alone madam can initiate it too. There’s no perfect formula, yes. But this one I listed? It works every time.
I repeat if you try it, you’ll save yourself a lot of unnecessary headache and stress.
You can add yours
Good morning and enjoy your weekend.

This is terrific. Nice info, if everyone practice this, as Christians we will be thanking God for good things, and not asking for miracles everyday. Thank you once again!!

3 Likes

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by Talkisneeded(m): 12:47pm On Jul 13, 2025

In one word,marriage is not for you if you are not earning well

6 Likes

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by Merry100: 1:01pm On Jul 13, 2025*

Men like you should come with a warning label: "Highly thoughtful and dangerously intentional."

I mean, who is this beautiful mind behind these words? Such depth and wisdom.

This should be the norm; if only more men could think and lead this way.

Growth is indeed not far from you; it lives in you.

This is truly appreciated.

May more homes rise on foundations like this. 🙏🏽

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by PerfectStranger(m): 1:31pm On Jul 13, 2025

In all you do just have money before stepping into marriage.

Meanwhile read down, my DM is open.

3 Likes

Re: What No One Told Me About Marriage That You Should Know by CaptainJune: 1:47pm On Jul 13, 2025

This thread has so much gems that it reminds of the lost glory of nairaland many years back when threads were opened to pass relevant information and share knowledge not to ass lick politicians or engage in fruitless clashes on ethnic lines. Op, well done. Your suggestions are well received and recommended for both those about to enter the marriage and those already in it.

8 Likes