₦airaland Forum

Good morning, Nairalanders.

So, I am extremely unhappy, sad, pained, etc. If you check my previous posts, there is this one girl that has been breaking my heart consistently for years with consistent rejections. We had been friends. When I asked her out, she declined, saying she couldn't date me. A year later, she called me, saying she missed me... Then, we got talking again. I asked her for a relationship again, and she declined again. I had a fight with her, and we didn't even talk for over a year, until I just apologized to her for my behaviors. That was 2023. Early this year, she called me, saying that though I had asked her out several times and she had declined, she loved me and would like to be in a relationship with me. I thought about it and gave it a chance. Unfortunately, I got too attached again.
She started a crisis talk. I observed she was testing me for a particular week.

What caused our breakup was the fact that she asked for data, which I didn't have enough money for. She then started saying it's not like she asks for much from me, that ordinary data I couldn't buy. I told her I really didn't have it. She dragged it to the point where she said, "We are still early, and we can break up if I don't care about her." I told her we should end it. I said this because she's been selfish. I actually didn't have the money for the data. She even started saying I should take from my savings if I truly love her. She pushed it to the extent that I had to tell her she does things I can't cope with, and also I am not ready for a relationship.

Now, we've broken up. I've been thinking I've made a mistake. I've begged her, but she's just resisting my plea. I love this girl so much. For more than 5 years now, we've been doing this on and off, and she's been consistently on my mind. How can I completely get over her?

Move on she's obviously not into you. The short lived relationship u had with her was borne out of pity she had for u to have stuck around fighting for her love lol. Save urself the stress

verminnel:
Move on she's obviously not into you. The short lived relationship u had with her was borne out of pity she had for u to have stuck around fighting for her love lol. Save urself the stress

I understand that I need to move on.

But how. Even before we got in the short-lived relationship I was always thinking about everyday. Without even talking to her

Discipline yourself to take your mind off adverse outcomes.

This is not just for the girl alone. It'll help you in other aspects of life too.

Move on.
you will be glad you did.


Never beg for love, as a man because you will be doing the spending in this part of the world.


Capisce?
Modified:
Replace that your feelings with another.

You should take from Your savings?? Damn that girl is taking advantage of you bro..she doesn't even love you from the start, she just agreed to the relationship just to milk you!

Forget her and move on..you were the only one in that relationship

Wyrax:
I understand that I need to move on.

But how. Even before we got in the short-lived relationship I was always thinking about everyday. Without even talking to her

So like this na woman be your problem

Tharmon:
You should take from Your savings?? Damn that girl is taking advantage of you bro..she doesn't even love you from the start, she just agreed to the relationship just to milk you!

Forget her and move on..you were the only one in that relationship

That was the statement that triggered me.

I think I was right to end it. But I am just consumed by her thoughts

Wyrax:
That was the statement that triggered me.

I think I was right to end it. But I am just consumed by her thoughts

Won’t lie to you, her thoughts will linger for a while, but you’ll be fine with time.

Wyrax:
Good morning, Nairalanders.

So, I am extremely unhappy, sad, pained, etc. If you check my previous posts, there is this one girl that has been breaking my heart consistently for years with consistent rejections. We had been friends. When I asked her out, she declined, saying she couldn't date me. A year later, she called me, saying she missed me... Then, we got talking again. I asked her for a relationship again, and she declined again. I had a fight with her, and we didn't even talk for over a year, until I just apologized to her for my behaviors. That was 2023. Early this year, she called me, saying that though I had asked her out several times and she had declined, she loved me and would like to be in a relationship with me. I thought about it and gave it a chance. Unfortunately, I got too attached again.
She started a crisis talk. I observed she was testing me for a particular week.

What caused our breakup was the fact that she asked for data, which I didn't have enough money for. She then started saying it's not like she asks for much from me, that ordinary data I couldn't buy. I told her I really didn't have it. She dragged it to the point where she said, "We are still early, and we can break up if I don't care about her." I told her we should end it. I said this because she's been selfish. I actually didn't have the money for the data. She even started saying I should take from my savings if I truly love her. She pushed it to the extent that I had to tell her she does things I can't cope with, and also I am not ready for a relationship.

Now, we've broken up. I've been thinking I've made a mistake. I've begged her, but she's just resisting my plea. I love this girl so much. For more than 5 years now, we've been doing this on and off, and she's been consistently on my mind. How can I completely get over her?

U don't need that girl in your life....she's your kryptonite....and obviously doesn't even dig you that much

obinnazy:
So like this na woman be your problem

Mr OP, why not try talking to another woman?

Na only she dey your state?

My brother, I truly feel your pain because I’ve been there too.

Some ladies can be emotionally manipulative, especially when they know you genuinely care. I was once in love with a girl who I thought loved me back. I constantly gave her money, tried to make her happy, even bought her a phone by sending her ₦50,000 like 5 years ago. I thought we were building something real.

But behind my back, she was sleeping with other men. She even infected me and tried to gaslight me into thinking I got it elsewhere when I was never even sexually active with any other girl. That experience broke me. It drained me emotionally, financially, and mentally. Some girls can be ruthless, bro. They feed off your love and loyalty while disrespecting your trust.

From what you’ve shared, it’s clear this girl has emotionally manipulated you for years rejecting you, coming back when it suits her, then using money and guilt to control you. That’s not love, my G. That’s emotional abuse.

You didn’t lose a queen. You dodged a bullet. And trust me, with time, your heart will heal. But first, block all access. No calls, no chats, no stalking her socials. It will hurt, but it’s the medicine you need.

Focus on your peace, your growth, your finances, and your self-worth. The right woman won’t make you beg for love or prove your loyalty with data and transfers.

You’re not alone. And you're not weak for loving the wrong person, it just shows you have a good heart. Now use that same heart to rebuild yourself stronger.

✊🏾 Stay up, king.

Don’t stress yourself trying to get over her, just find another new girl pin for bed u will forget about her. But 5 years? Omo u try o, I go don study geology finish before u finally win her. Where I go vex na if I hear say u no bend her.

Someone that couldn't believe you that you are broke is not the right person for you. Tear race from the person as she might have been using you

See this Manchi . You have to learn Detachment, move on there are other girls out there man. If she gives you another chance she'd be the one controlling the relationship you'd just be a puppet . If that's what you want. You dey chase banny for 5 years? This sickens my Soul . As I read the Topic I even thought it was something serious like a Karmic cycle, Young Man I say to you, you're not serious with your life

Bro move on, woman that genuinely love you for who you are will not stress you, you have been through alot just to have her beside you, and now she's the one pulling herself back..

Just let her go, that girl that really likes you will come and everything will fall in place..

Start thinking of how to make more money, and she will be the one bringing her family members to beg you

Get over the oscro joor!!!

She's a bloody manipulator!!!

You're just been unnecessarily emotional and i understand cos i've been there ...

But as a senior for this kain field, she's not worth 1 drop of your tear ...

Ensure you become successful in life but learn from your mistakes ... no let anyone guilt trip you into doing things which you can't afford!!!

Wyrax:
Good morning, Nairalanders.

So, I am extremely unhappy, sad, pained, etc. If you check my previous posts, there is this one girl that has been breaking my heart consistently for years with consistent rejections. We had been friends. When I asked her out, she declined, saying she couldn't date me. A year later, she called me, saying she missed me... Then, we got talking again. I asked her for a relationship again, and she declined again. I had a fight with her, and we didn't even talk for over a year, until I just apologized to her for my behaviors. That was 2023. Early this year, she called me, saying that though I had asked her out several times and she had declined, she loved me and would like to be in a relationship with me. I thought about it and gave it a chance. Unfortunately, I got too attached again.
She started a crisis talk. I observed she was testing me for a particular week.

What caused our breakup was the fact that she asked for data, which I didn't have enough money for. She then started saying it's not like she asks for much from me, that ordinary data I couldn't buy. I told her I really didn't have it. She dragged it to the point where she said, "We are still early, and we can break up if I don't care about her." I told her we should end it. I said this because she's been selfish. I actually didn't have the money for the data. She even started saying I should take from my savings if I truly love her. She pushed it to the extent that I had to tell her she does things I can't cope with, and also I am not ready for a relationship.

Now, we've broken up. I've been thinking I've made a mistake. I've begged her, but she's just resisting my plea. I love this girl so much. For more than 5 years now, we've been doing this on and off, and she's been consistently on my mind. How can I completely get over her?

That girl already cast a spell on you. It's not jazz, it's nature. She has gotten into your mind and you can't stop thinking about her. It's not love brother, you are in web perfectly designed by a smart spider. Stop looking directly into her eyes even in pictures unless you're having an important discussion outside of love matter, that's a good way to start. What we men don't understand is that God put special spell in the eyes of females that when you look directly into their eyes in admiration, she is casting a spell on you without even her knowing it. My father taught me this.

Wyrax:
Good morning, Nairalanders.

So, I am extremely unhappy, sad, pained, etc. If you check my previous posts, there is this one girl that has been breaking my heart consistently for years with consistent rejections. We had been friends. When I asked her out, she declined, saying she couldn't date me. A year later, she called me, saying she missed me... Then, we got talking again. I asked her for a relationship again, and she declined again. I had a fight with her, and we didn't even talk for over a year, until I just apologized to her for my behaviors. That was 2023. Early this year, she called me, saying that though I had asked her out several times and she had declined, she loved me and would like to be in a relationship with me. I thought about it and gave it a chance. Unfortunately, I got too attached again.
She started a crisis talk. I observed she was testing me for a particular week.

What caused our breakup was the fact that she asked for data, which I didn't have enough money for. She then started saying it's not like she asks for much from me, that ordinary data I couldn't buy. I told her I really didn't have it. She dragged it to the point where she said, "We are still early, and we can break up if I don't care about her." I told her we should end it. I said this because she's been selfish. I actually didn't have the money for the data. She even started saying I should take from my savings if I truly love her. She pushed it to the extent that I had to tell her she does things I can't cope with, and also I am not ready for a relationship.

Now, we've broken up. I've been thinking I've made a mistake. I've begged her, but she's just resisting my plea. I love this girl so much. For more than 5 years now, we've been doing this on and off, and she's been consistently on my mind. How can I completely get over her?

Life of a SIMPle man
Las-las....you go dey alright.

FitCorper:
Don’t stress yourself trying to get over her, just find another new girl pin for bed u will forget about her. But 5 years? Omo u try o, I go don study geology finish before u finally win her. Where I go vex na if I hear say u no bend her.

Nonexisting1:
That girl already cast a spell on you. It's not jazz, it's nature. She has gotten into your mind and you can't stop thinking about her. It's not love brother, you are in web perfectly designed by a smart spider. Stop looking directly into her eyes even in pictures unless you're having an important discussion outside of love matter, that's a good way to start. What we men don't understand is that God put special spell in the eyes of females that when you look directly into their eyes in admiration, she is casting a spell on you without even her knowing it. My father taught me this.

Interesting....Good observation

All what I can say is that this Op for don be Oga if he use that whole five years to learn trade or business.
Or he for don even be University graduate and he for don dey service by now if na four years course he study.
Or he for dey final year by now if he run five years course.
Or he got don get double masters by now
Or if he get picken at that time, by now him for don dey prepare to pay him first primary school, school fees for him picken.
Why waste all these years trying to get a girls attention, instead of women to be begging you for attention.
Use your head brother-man.

Nonexisting1:
That girl already cast a spell on you. It's not jazz, it's nature. She has gotten into your mind and you can't stop thinking about her. It's not love brother, you are in web perfectly designed by a smart spider. Stop looking directly into her eyes even in pictures unless you're having an important discussion outside of love matter, that's a good way to start. What we men don't understand is that God put special spell in the eyes of females that when you look directly into their eyes in admiration, she is casting a spell on you without even her knowing it. My father taught me this.

Your father was not entirely right bro because it's actually the reverse in my case.

8 timed out of 10 any girl that maintain steady eye contact with me for long can't help but fall. That's if she can even withstand my gaze for that long. Most of them look away though.

Wyrax:
Good morning, Nairalanders.

So, I am extremely unhappy, sad, pained, etc. If you check my previous posts, there is this one girl that has been breaking my heart consistently for years with consistent rejections. We had been friends. When I asked her out, she declined, saying she couldn't date me. A year later, she called me, saying she missed me... Then, we got talking again. I asked her for a relationship again, and she declined again. I had a fight with her, and we didn't even talk for over a year, until I just apologized to her for my behaviors. That was 2023. Early this year, she called me, saying that though I had asked her out several times and she had declined, she loved me and would like to be in a relationship with me. I thought about it and gave it a chance. Unfortunately, I got too attached again.
She started a crisis talk. I observed she was testing me for a particular week.

What caused our breakup was the fact that she asked for data, which I didn't have enough money for. She then started saying it's not like she asks for much from me, that ordinary data I couldn't buy. I told her I really didn't have it. She dragged it to the point where she said, "We are still early, and we can break up if I don't care about her." I told her we should end it. I said this because she's been selfish. I actually didn't have the money for the data. She even started saying I should take from my savings if I truly love her. She pushed it to the extent that I had to tell her she does things I can't cope with, and also I am not ready for a relationship.

Now, we've broken up. I've been thinking I've made a mistake. I've begged her, but she's just resisting my plea. I love this girl so much. For more than 5 years now, we've been doing this on and off, and she's been consistently on my mind. How can I completely get over her?

When a man is in love, another mumu is born.
My brother let he go, you don't have to beg her for anything based on your story .

If she gets away with this she will do more.
A word is enough for the foolish.

Badmashiii:
Your father was not entirely right bro because it's actually the reverse in my case.

8 timed out of 10 any girl that maintain steady eye contact with me for long can't help but fall. That's if she can even withstand my gaze for that long. Most of them look away though.

So because they agreed to sleep with you, you now think you won abi? Do you know how bad konji hold women? Incase you don't know, the moment you approach a girl and she turns to give you attention, she has already concluded in her mind whether to give you her couchie or not. They use men more than we use them. You will think you have scattered her pant not knowing she was the one that scattered you boxers to use you cure konji. Brother, all I'm saying is that you looking into their eyes did not work for you, rather it showed them how deeply you wanted them and validated their Justification to use you to cure konji. If she no wan give am to you, if you like use telescope to look into her eyes, she will not give it to you.

Wyrax:
Good morning, Nairalanders.

So, I am extremely unhappy, sad, pained, etc. If you check my previous posts, there is this one girl that has been breaking my heart consistently for years with consistent rejections. We had been friends. When I asked her out, she declined, saying she couldn't date me. A year later, she called me, saying she missed me... Then, we got talking again. I asked her for a relationship again, and she declined again. I had a fight with her, and we didn't even talk for over a year, until I just apologized to her for my behaviors. That was 2023. Early this year, she called me, saying that though I had asked her out several times and she had declined, she loved me and would like to be in a relationship with me. I thought about it and gave it a chance. Unfortunately, I got too attached again.
She started a crisis talk. I observed she was testing me for a particular week.

What caused our breakup was the fact that she asked for data, which I didn't have enough money for. She then started saying it's not like she asks for much from me, that ordinary data I couldn't buy. I told her I really didn't have it. She dragged it to the point where she said, "We are still early, and we can break up if I don't care about her." I told her we should end it. I said this because she's been selfish. I actually didn't have the money for the data. She even started saying I should take from my savings if I truly love her. She pushed it to the extent that I had to tell her she does things I can't cope with, and also I am not ready for a relationship.

Now, we've broken up. I've been thinking I've made a mistake. I've begged her, but she's just resisting my plea. I love this girl so much. For more than 5 years now, we've been doing this on and off, and she's been consistently on my mind. How can I completely get over her?

You've gotten real good advice here OP. If you still feel/think that you made a mistake by calling off that relationship then I really do not know maybe you do like being "stuck in this cycle"

She'll probably continue breadcrumbing til you actually put your feet down. Look, she lied when she said she loved you & would like to be in a relationship with you. She told you exactly what you wanted to hear and there! She got you right where she wanted you to be

At a point in life you’ll experience this phase, then afterwards, you become a villain, this is when they start seeing you as weird and unmoveable cos you show no feelings anymore, then they begin to like yiu cos they don’t understand you. Don’t worry, it’s just the way of life.

More than 5-years? Is seems you don't love yourself. Of all the ladies in Nigeria, it's someone who doesn't love you that you're stuck on. Do you want to spend another 5-years on this? Move on.