₦airaland Forum

Playconsoler101:
This Dude is mighty disconnected from the middle and lower class and think only elite have children.

This talk deep but many won't understand it.

no20022:
✓ I don't even know why I am even complaining about this. Most bad parents, regardless of where they came from, won't change. It's your fault for the things that you did that caused them to be bad towards you, everyone is out to get them, everyone is picking on them, and they are just helpless victims of everyone.

Most of those you refer to as bad parents were themselves raised under bad parenting conditions, and never got around to correcting those traumas from their own past before becoming parents themselves.

Kobojunkie:
What do you expect when people who have no business being parents are literally conned into becoming that? Nigeria is a society where people believe that to be regarded as successful there must be marriage and children and so many follow along without questioning knowing fully well they do not have what it really takes to raise another decent human being.

Well that's strictly their own fault for blindly following the norms without even putting their own opinions and needs first. Marriage and parenthood aren't things that are guaranteed for people no matter how much you want them...and they aren't for everybody either. You can't always blame others for your own actions. The only one in control of your actions is you.

For me, I have absolutely no interest in having children myself and I also don't really see myself getting married anytime soon. I no longer care about not fitting this norm because to IMO most men don't really see me as wife material (nor even girlfriend material) and I can't control their actions towards me and their opinions about me.

Kobojunkie:
Most of those you refer to as bad parents were themselves raised under bad parenting conditions, and never got around to correcting those traumas from their own past before becoming parents themselves.

That's really not an excuse. I didn't have the best parents either but I never even thought of nor fantasized about ever laying hands on my future children nor verbally abusing them if I ever had them. How long are people going to keep blaming their past for their present behavior?

[/b] The governor Lagos should have had[b]

I really hope he becomes governor

no20022:
✓ That's really not an excuse. I didn't have the best parents either but I never even thought of nor fantasized about ever laying hands on my future children nor verbally abusing them if I ever had them. How long are people going to keep blaming their past for their present behavior?

You think most people who end up like their parents fantasized it? Nah! They simply didn't do work to resolve the trauma from their past; by the time they realized it, they had already helped in propagating the trauma on to the next generation.

Kobojunkie:
You think most people who end up like their parents fantasized it? Nah! They simply didn't do work to resolve the trauma from their past; by the time they realized it, they had already helped in propagating the trauma on to the next generation.

Again, that is strictly their own fault, not the kids that didn't even ask to be born. It's the responsibility of the parents to get the professional help that they need before they marry and have kids.

lexy2014:
how does that negate the beauty of the article and the wisdom he is trying to share?

he was very specfic as to who he was talking to in his write up:

lexy2014:
What I see these days is training the "butty" (aje butter) way which gets me scared of what will happen in the next 10-15 years.

That's literally contradicting isn't it? If he was referring to "butty" how else would he expect "butty" to raise their "butty" children?

Him mentioning "butty" (aje butter) way" would imply he was referring to other groups outside "aje butter"... Then he went to start mentioning maids and all... There is absolutely nothing wisdom about the disconnected write-up

Playconsoler101:
That's literally contradicting isn't it? If he was referring to "butty" how else would he expect "butty" to raise their "butty" children?

Him mentioning "butty" (aje butter) way" would imply he was referring to other groups outside "aje butter"... Then he went to start mentioning maids and all... There is absolutely nothing wisdom about the disconnected write-up

That is not what I asked you.

how does that negate the beauty of the article and the wisdom he is trying to share?

Playconsoler101:
Him mentioning "butty" (aje butter) way" would imply he was referring to other groups outside "aje butter"...

And yet the same you claimed that

Playconsoler101:
This Dude is mighty disconnected from the middle and lower class and think only elite have children.