₦airaland Forum

Will you allow your 18 years old daughter do same?

Ah ah, just 11 years and you dey compare am to Regina and Ned? Come on now.

Age gap no be the problem if maturity, respect, and genuine connection dey inside the relationship. Some 11-year gaps sef dey sweet pass 2-year gaps wey full of drama. If both of una dey on the same wavelength, understand each other, and support each other's growth, then wetin be age?

No be by age o, na by sense, peace of mind, and shared values. Make people rest.

spencekat:
It is not that type of age gap o. Just 11 years age difference, you dey shout Regina and Ned.

If ever anyone is looking for the real life definition of selfishness, this is the classic example of one. So self centered and conceited, full of schemes etc.......don't come back here to vent when the girl turns the table around afterwards please

Auxtan:
My salesgirl understands my business to the point I am considering to just make her my family.

I don't do an easy business and I am looking to scale, which means someone that understands this business is vital for that to happen and preferably a family member.

Now I am thinking of marrying her and also in the process leaving the relationship/dating market that is a distraction.

I don't have issues whatsoever with this my salesgirl in terms of character and even accountability, she's just perfect in those aspects, but my problem is her age.

Right now, I am just thinking of taking this decision of killing 2 birds with a stone might just be the best for me, one is settling down and two is marrying someone that understands my business.

Is a 29 year old man too big for an 18 year old girl? What's the general public perception of it?

PS: For the main time, I haven't made moves on her. But my interviews on her so far shows she's not looking to enter the high institution anytime soon (probably due to funds). But if I become comfortable with the age gap that is my major concern, I'd make moves on her and see if it will be possible. I'm trying to assess general views on marrying girls in their teen like her.

Age isn't an issue here. And stop thinking about what people would say. Do you use what people would say to run your business?
Why should you use it to run your marital decisions?

Patented:
Do you know the girl outside of the employer employee relationship? She can be responsible and accountable to her boss and be weird in her personal life.

Are you guys already into something together outside work? Is the feeling mutual?
Is she mature enough for marriage?

Valid points. And you're right to ask those deeper questions, because being a good staff doesn’t automatically mean she’ll be a good life partner. The employer-employee dynamic comes with structure, expectations, and clear lines. But real life — marriage especially — is way messier and more emotionally demanding.

So yes, it’s important to step outside that work context and observe:
– How does she handle personal challenges?
– What’s her worldview when she's not in “boss mode”?
– How does she treat people she doesn’t answer to?
– Does she challenge you respectfully, or only agree because you’re her employer?

And most importantly:
Have you seen signs that she feels something for you beyond respect as a boss? Mutual feelings matter, not just admiration or loyalty.

Lastly, maturity is not always about age or behavior at work. Some people can run a shop like a pro but emotionally still be figuring out who they are. So don’t just assess her as a "solid worker" — assess her as a potential partner in life.

If she ticks all those boxes genuinely, then sure — consider it. But don’t assume competence at work equals readiness for marriage.

Amerengues2:
21. Please spell words correctly when you post, and try to use perfect grammar and punctuation.

Well-Edited AI video.

Auxtan:
I feel you talk for talking sake or you're just ignorant.

The way you casually said send her to further her education as if I am her father shows how careless you are with resources as a man.

I rather marry her and ensure she is carrying at least 2 of my children before furthering her education.

With this last paragraph, You are the ignorant one here.

AGE SHOULD NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOUR DECISION AS 10 years gap if perfecting okay...you should be concern about other things.
well she might be a good girl now at the age of 18 ..but she could be a great girl at the age of 25 /28 years or worse off. Relationship wise
been a good business manager does not equate good in relationship responsibility..
you are 29 and you can still marry at 35/40 years...

i would advice you allow her sometime to mature mentally maybe in another 5 to 10 years before marry her...
keep observing her let her go through her stages...and remember if she wants to go to university allow her to go and keep in touch or better still offer her employment during school breaks..
if she's goes through her experience she would appreciate your offer when it eventually comes
and remember when a woman chooses you... relationship works great..

so my advice give it time as time as a way of revealing if something is real or fake.

selah

Auxtan:
My salesgirl understands my business to the point I am considering to just make her my family.

I don't do an easy business and I am looking to scale, which means someone that understands this business is vital for that to happen and preferably a family member.

Now I am thinking of marrying her and also in the process leaving the relationship/dating market that is a distraction.

I don't have issues whatsoever with this my salesgirl in terms of character and even accountability, she's just perfect in those aspects, but my problem is her age.

Right now, I am just thinking of taking this decision of killing 2 birds with a stone might just be the best for me, one is settling down and two is marrying someone that understands my business.

Is a 29 year old man too big for an 18 year old girl? What's the general public perception of it?

PS: For the main time, I haven't made moves on her. But my interviews on her so far shows she's not looking to enter the high institution anytime soon (probably due to funds). But if I become comfortable with the age gap that is my major concern, I'd make moves on her and see if it will be possible. I'm trying to assess general views on marrying girls in their teen like her.

Don't! The moment you attempt to, things will spiral out of control starting from the respect and fear she has for the business you're doing, expand first and let her be in charge to oversee things and observe her competency, women are like weather.

NotOfThisWorld:
You're only thinking about yourself. What about her and what she wants to do with her life? Is she even interested in you? I doubt she's thinking about marriage at 18 but probably wants to go pursue her education to achieve whatever goals she wants to achieve for herself, so why not help her with that first? You didn't mention that in your post but just want to marry her to use her for your business. Get her talking and ask her what she wants to do with her life and if she's interested in you. If you love her, you will provide her the funds she needs, then you can marry her later when she finishes. Even if she says she's not interested in you, you can still help her, if you're capable.

marry her when she finish, you can advise your son that way. Bro find your wife else where, it just your emotions, when you see someone often emotions comes up. Firstly avoid financial burdens at this early stage of business, you need to reinvest and create systems. See clear your head o. People change and bro you will be risking too much, don't mix emotions with business, if the relationship didn't workout too much to loose for you. If she want to further her education, how does it help your financial situation. I pray for you. To they date financially struggling people is harder than you think. She would value herself more. Find hustler like you that knows what it takes. 😏

Premium tears loading

Some of the replies you're giving to people's opinions shows that you only want her to fulfill your own dreams, you do not consider her dream or future in anyway

Allow her to grow reach 24/25 at least. A lot of things would have been unfolded then. My own thoughts though I might be wrong.

The fact that you are more concerned about society's perception and views rather than what the girl in question and her family feel makes me wonder at your level of reasoning...!

Sure even me I senior my wife with 11 yrs... She's 23 yrs and am 34 yrs...

spencekat:
Just allow the girl to get to 20 years, the age gap is cool. 11 years no plenty for age gap.

IamMobisola:
With this last paragraph, You are the ignorant one here.

I'm not surprised to get such comment from a female. But I know some ignorant men will agree with you. Well, I stand on that and might even make it until she's done bearing our children. Lol

NotOfThisWorld:
You're only thinking about yourself. What about her and what she wants to do with her life? Is she even interested in you? I doubt she's thinking about marriage at 18 but probably wants to go pursue her education to achieve whatever goals she wants to achieve for herself, so why not help her with that first? You didn't mention that in your post but just want to marry her to use her for your business. Get her talking and ask her what she wants to do with her life and if she's interested in you. If you love her, you will provide her the funds she needs, then you can marry her later when she finishes. Even if she says she's not interested in you, you can still help her, if you're capable.

see the nonsense you are talking, he should provides the funds she needs for her life goals and later he can marry her, nonsense, what if later she decides no to marry her? you are not wise i swear.

Auxtan:
My salesgirl understands my business to the point I am considering to just make her my family.

I don't do an easy business and I am looking to scale, which means someone that understands this business is vital for that to happen and preferably a family member.

Now I am thinking of marrying her and also in the process leaving the relationship/dating market that is a distraction.

I don't have issues whatsoever with this my salesgirl in terms of character and even accountability, she's just perfect in those aspects, but my problem is her age.

Right now, I am just thinking of taking this decision of killing 2 birds with a stone might just be the best for me, one is settling down and two is marrying someone that understands my business.

Is a 29 year old man too big for an 18 year old girl? What's the general public perception of it?

PS: For the main time, I haven't made moves on her. But my interviews on her so far shows she's not looking to enter the high institution anytime soon (probably due to funds). But if I become comfortable with the age gap that is my major concern, I'd make moves on her and see if it will be possible. I'm trying to assess general views on marrying girls in their teen like her.

This wasn't written by a 29 yr old

All these nairaland men and teenagers


Marry her. This epistle is not needed.

…and?

Jaycobbs:
The day you stop worrying about people's thoughts and opinions of you is the day you'll start living a much better life.

Do you, personally, approve?
Does God approve?
Does the lady approve?

If you get three yeses to these questions, anyone else's approval is just extra.

I'm hoping you're thinking about marriage—if she's wifable and the girl's family are not against it, then do the needful and start focusing on more salient matters.

However, there's a generational difference between you guys. If you're jumping into this pool, be prepared to encounter differences in thinking. You're both at quite different stages in life.

If you can't be patient enough to deal with it, kindly leave her be.

If you are wise enough, I would advise you to heed to this man's advice, for there is no advice greater than this.

NotOfThisWorld:
You're only thinking about yourself. What about her and what she wants to do with her life? Is she even interested in you? I doubt she's thinking about marriage at 18 but probably wants to go pursue her education to achieve whatever goals she wants to achieve for herself, so why not help her with that first? You didn't mention that in your post but just want to marry her to use her for your business. Get her talking and ask her what she wants to do with her life and if she's interested in you. If you love her, you will provide her the funds she needs, then you can marry her later when she finishes. Even if she says she's not interested in you, you can still help her, if you're capable.

Spoken like a woman. OP, don't train any girl. Marry her first if she gree before sending her to school. I no wan hear story here later

Go ahead, I also have eleven years gap between me and my wife.

Auxtan:
I'm not surprised to get such comment from a female. But I know some ignorant men will agree with you. Well, I stand on that and might even make it until she's done bearing our children. Lol

Yiu ate spot on. Don't let them whine you oooo. She can even do online university self. That way she no go commot from your sight 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Talkisneeded:
To think you think an 18 year old girl is ready for marriage just because she knows your business well and trustworthy sounds cringy…

Have you ever asked her about her dreams and what she wants in life first seff

.

Tye guys is not serious at all. Later now if she sponsors tye girl's education and tye girl decides to go for a VERY YOUNG man in her age bracket, he will be pained. Leave her alone. If you talk tk her and she agrees, ensured you marry her before she goes to school o. More importantly, don't play on her intelligence as she is still very young. If I were you, I will not go there at all.

Abort mission. She ain't there mentally. Run cos of your peace of mind.

The formulae is
y ≥ x/2 + 7

y => her age
x => your age

In yourcase, y is less than 29/2+7

the least you should date is 21.5years old.

reference: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships#

Auxtan:
My salesgirl understands my business to the point I am considering to just make her my family.

I don't do an easy business and I am looking to scale, which means someone that understands this business is vital for that to happen and preferably a family member.

Now I am thinking of marrying her and also in the process leaving the relationship/dating market that is a distraction.

I don't have issues whatsoever with this my salesgirl in terms of character and even accountability, she's just perfect in those aspects, but my problem is her age.

Right now, I am just thinking of taking this decision of killing 2 birds with a stone might just be the best for me, one is settling down and two is marrying someone that understands my business.

Is a 29 year old man too big for an 18 year old girl? What's the general public perception of it?

PS: For the main time, I haven't made moves on her. But my interviews on her so far shows she's not looking to enter the high institution anytime soon (probably due to funds). But if I become comfortable with the age gap that is my major concern, I'd make moves on her and see if it will be possible. I'm trying to assess general views on marrying girls in their teen like her.

Colonize am Sharp sharp like Dem colonial masters.

In a few years, she will be 29 and you will be 40, do you want to be with the woman who will make the saying, a fool at 40 is a fool forever true?

By the time you are wise and she is 40 and you are 51, do you want to look back and be proud of your decision 22 years ago? When your children are already teenagers or leaving your house?

If you see ripe fruit, pluck am, no waste time. The family system is dying and parents are no longer training good children for marriage anymore. It's the internet that is raising kids these days, they will waste your life arguing with you about what is right and wrong because their parents did not teach them how to be husbands/men or wives/mothers/women.

Before the world contaminates this woman, groom her as the bridegroom and you won't regret it. Let me tell you one more thing, once she works with you or for you, she will have no problem with you, it will give you time to build more because she is a trusted manager. Trust is the most expensive currency in business. But I must warn you, they also say don't mix business with pleasure. Remember that once you get married, you have to change the way you deal with her, she's not your worker, she's your colleague, she's your wife. She will get pregnant, she will change, make sure you groom your wife and she will flourish.

Don't worry about what society thinks, it's all in your head. I often refer to Omotola Jalade who got married young and the age gap is like your own. People only look for bad examples to scare you but remain focused on your vision. The best time for women to have kids is in their late teens and early 20s, Africans have embraced western lifestyle to their own detriment and now we are having the same problems as them, such as fertility problems. Our parents and grandparents married very early, some of them failed and married someone else, some of them were successful. Education should not be an excuse to get married, don't let her waste her virtuousness when she can get education online. Moreover, all the education we are doing today is either to work for someone or be our own boss. She already has real life experience working with you. Let her enroll in courses that will make her sharp and your business will flourish. He is a lucky man who finds a good wife.

Auxtan:
My salesgirl understands my business to the point I am considering to just make her my family.

I don't do an easy business and I am looking to scale, which means someone that understands this business is vital for that to happen and preferably a family member.

Now I am thinking of marrying her and also in the process leaving the relationship/dating market that is a distraction.

I don't have issues whatsoever with this my salesgirl in terms of character and even accountability, she's just perfect in those aspects, but my problem is her age.

Right now, I am just thinking of taking this decision of killing 2 birds with a stone might just be the best for me, one is settling down and two is marrying someone that understands my business.

Is a 29 year old man too big for an 18 year old girl? What's the general public perception of it?

PS: For the main time, I haven't made moves on her. But my interviews on her so far shows she's not looking to enter the high institution anytime soon (probably due to funds). But if I become comfortable with the age gap that is my major concern, I'd make moves on her and see if it will be possible. I'm trying to assess general views on marrying girls in their teen like her.

The age gap is not a problem!

The issue is
You are ready for Marriage: is she also ready for Marriage at 18 year old?


If you don't clear this , you will be in a big problem as she could feel tied down with marriage.

Na wen you start to day date her another character go begin day show,
*She go begin come work late
*Talk to customer anyhow
*They spend from company account
*Day disrespect you
*Day give her family members your money after all she be co owner now
Lol mak I continue