₦airaland Forum

We4all:
Why would she refuse if it were her mother, and why should she consider her mother in law as her own? Have you forgotten that a wife is the only one that is not related by blood to her husband? You guys never miss to point that out, so I don't see why you are crying foul for her refusal to take care of her mother in law since she ain't a doctor. Moreover, it was stated that the man has an elder sister, and so it's fair that the sister should take care of her mom since they share a blood relationship.

You are not making sense. This your posture towards mother in-laws should be discouraged

pocohantas:
Bringing the mum should never be an issue. I want to believe there is a reason their house is the most convenient. I remember when my late aunty was sick, her sons in-law refused to have her come over. So my mum had to bring her to our house. I wonder how her daughters are looking at their husbands now that she is dead.

Issues like this are handled with sense and a lot of empathy. Let her come __non-negotiable. Get a domestic staff to help out because tending to a home and a sick elder isn't easy. Imagine if they both have jobs. Na die be that.

I think you wanted to reply to me in the other thread and got banned by the bot.
Besides little argument on here, don't take anything personal. I believe you're a wonderful person.

Same una wey say your wife is not your family. So why should she take care of strangers na. Besides, the man may already not be helping the wife at home and now wants to bring additional load and still expect same way she is taking care of the house. Let him get a dedicated caregiver and his wife will be convinced to bring his mum...he wants cheap labour.

PerfectStranger:
So she has to be related by blood before accepting her mother in-law? thought when a woman is legally married to a man they become one.

AMI3:
I swear bro. She is a demon. I can only have one mother after her no other one.
So how long is she going to live on earth that my wife can not take good care of her like she is her mother.
There is a blessing attached to it

How can a wife not learn to tolerate her mother inlaw when she's going too be a mother and also a mother inlaw someday...

Any treatment my wife gives to my mother I swear her mother will get triple of it.

Mumu

Kobojunkie:
It is one thing to have your mother visit as a guest for a day or two, but having her over on a longstay or worse, because she is sick, then you need to be upfront and better negotiate her stay and care with your marriage partner.

Does the man and his wife have space for her during her stay? Will the man be responsible for his mother's care throughout her stay, or is this a ploy to bring in another human burden for his wife to have to deal with? Conversely, the man can easily send his mother to a care home or something where she would be better cared for.

Caaz:
You failed to get the point.
The point is who's going to take and provide extra care for the mother?most men dump their mum on their wives to care for,not minding the wives are also caring for the Kids,herself,husband and the home.


The best person to care for the mum are the daughters,so its best the mum goes to the house of her daughter.

What if I dumped it on her, is it too much?
Will she pray her own sons wife do such to her?

babzlim:
How can a wife not learn to tolerate her mother inlaw when she's going too be a mother and also a mother inlaw someday...

Any treatment my wife gives to my mother I swear her mother will get triple of it.

Hahaha 🤣🤣
I don't think a reasonable woman will try that.
Unless na juju

Kobojunkie:
It is one thing to have your mother visit as a guest for a day or two, but having her over on a longstay or worse, because she is sick, then you need to be upfront and better negotiate her stay and care with your marriage partner.

Does the man and his wife have space for her during her stay? Will the man be responsible for his mother's care throughout her stay, or is this a ploy to bring in another human burden for his wife to have to deal with? Conversely, the man can easily send his mother to a care home or something where she would be better cared for.

Ya but bringing her own mum to conscript the man financial burden is a go go go

IamMobisola:
See selfish people.

So if your wife's mother also falls sick, she will now need to take care of two elderly people, take care of the kids too abi? And when her father falls sick, she will end up opening a care home so she can take care of all the elderly people in the family.


Mumu

Bros do u have a mother or parents?
How long do you think they will leave on this earth.
Don't u think time like this will come?

u are married and your parents need your timely support because of a woman that can even abandon u to the another available guy will stop u not to accommodate them u will listen to that advice.

Let me tell u something any woman that doesn't respect your parents or can not accommodate your parents doesn't worth it.

For her not to respect your decision could be because u have not carry ur family name with respect

Baronthecelebri:
Maybe the woman is the bread winner of the house

you maybe right

Chilipepper:
Nigerian man laments after his wife refused his request to bring his sick mother to their house

As I the craze reach; If my wife cannot help when it's comes to my mum responsibility and co , then her mum is never crossing in my gate anyday anytime because it will inconvenience me both financially and physically.

THAT'S MY LINE

DaniDani:
For the past 10years I have known you in this forum, your comments is always humanely and full of wisdom. People who want to live to old age do not want anything to do with aged people. It's about money, their comfort and theireselvess and their children. What elderly people need most is attention of their children, especially when they are sick.

Thank you. In-laws issues should be handled with tact. I understand looking after anyone at all, let alone aged parent is work. But she cannot outrightly dismiss the coming of his mother.

Akuruoulo:
➜Ya but bringing her own mum to conscript the man financial burden is a go go go

They are married, meaning they share financial resources at least. If she cannot bring her mother, then why should the man bring his own mother?

Kobojunkie:
It is one thing to have your mother visit as a guest for a day or two, but having her over on a longstay or worse, because she is sick, then you need to be upfront and better negotiate her stay and care with your marriage partner.

Does the man and his wife have space for her during her stay? Will the man be responsible for his mother's care throughout her stay, or is this a ploy to bring in another human burden for his wife to have to deal with? Conversely, the man can easily send his mother to a care home or something where she would be better cared for.

You talk like you don't know what this is about. Can't you see she said it is not her 'job'? The normalization of the orstracisation of men's family we see all in the name of woke feminism is abhorent!

The worst thing is men like you have been successfully bullied into this deranged, damaging and woke mindset!

Notice how wives's family are welcomed with open arms and she WILL NOT HAVE ANY OBJECTION to her own mother coming around.

Again, like I told Pocohantas, I will not reply to your reply to this post since you have given up yourself, like she has, to the dangerous wokism that has engulfed the human society.

tollyboy5:
➜I can see you in old people care home looking lost and lonely . The future is closer, count your age and look into your mirror

Millions of people here are in old people's care homes and having the time of their lives. Some even host their own kids and even grandkids from time to time. Nothing wrong with that.

Unfortunately, I will likely not have a chance to go to one of those places to live, as chances are higher that I will work until the day I die, and gladly too.

MiddleDimension:
➜You talk like you don't know what this is about. Can't you see she said it is not her 'job'? The normalization of the orstracisation of men's family we see all in the name of woke feminism is abhorent!
➜The worst thing is men like you have been successfully bullied into this deranged, damaging and woke mindset!
➜ Notice how wives's family are welcomed with open arms and she WILL NOT HAVE ANY OBJECTION to her own mother coming around. Again, like I told Poco

It is not your wife's job to care for your aging mother. She is right! Your aging mother is your job as her child, and you should only foist her on someone else if and only if you are willing to pay that person to serve as her caretaker.

2. When my grandmother was sick and unable to do much back in the early 2000s, her son, who was unmarried at the time, was the one who cared for her right there in Nigeria. He didn't get married until about 10 years after she had passed. He hired a helper at the time who worked as her caregiver right there in his house. She was the one who stayed with my grandmother 24/7 until the end.

It seems this new woke system you all love to hate has given you a lot of an avenue to blame something else for your inability to process life and living on this planet reasonably.

3. A wife's family needs to be treated equally to the man's family. If the wife is allowed to bring over and care for her mother, then the man should be able to bring over his mother and care for her himself too.... not offload the care to his wife as though she is a slave to him and his family in marriage.

At this point, reasonable men need to ask what the point is in getting married, with all the depressing posts we have the misfortune of reading here.

Why keep pretending and not wake up to smell the coffee that marriage and the idea of a ''wife'' is not what it use to be and then choose to ditch the institution once and for all?

This is made more pertinent when we see that divorce is everywhere around us today and that the 'wife' is not suppose to be much of a priority to you since the next moment, you can both go your seperate ways?

Before marriage you have to know who you're marrying, man or woman. But people don't do that all they're interested in is temporary things, going to clubs, eateries, and sex. Forgetting that the readiness to accepting family members, especially mothers and fathers into their home is the most important thing.

She doesn't want her extra curricular activities to be discovered.

pic.twitter.com/vPjdPXfMUq

— Why women get Ls (@ywomendeservles) August 18, 2025

cutesharon:
Same una wey say your wife is not your family. So why should she take care of strangers na. Besides, the man may already not be helping the wife at home and now wants to bring additional load and still expect same way she is taking care of the house. Let him get a dedicated caregiver and his wife will be convinced to bring his mum...he wants cheap labour.

Now now u are already accusing the man of not helping the wife at home. Why are women like this?

AMI3:
Bros do u have a mother or parents?
How long do you think they will leave on this earth.
Don't u think time like this will come?

u are married and your parents need your timely support because of a woman that can even abandon u to the another available guy will stop u not to accommodate them u will listen to that advice.

Let me tell u something any woman that doesn't respect your parents or can not accommodate your parents doesn't worth it.

For her not to respect your decision could be because u have not carry ur family name with respect

According to the story, it is the husband's mother that is sick right? The question is, why can't the husband take care of his OWN MOTHER by HIMSELF without shifting the responsibility to his wife who still has her own parents to take care of.

Parents give birth so their children can take care of them when they grow old, not someone else's child.

BadEnglish:
➜In his own house? He can't care for his mother there? You people dey sick o

. If you still refer to that house as your own house in marriage, then you are not married. As for the woman pretending to be married to you, my advise to her is that she put a huge distance between her and you — she should run away like her life depends on it. Because the day you decide to kick her out yourself— along with any children she has had with you in that charade—, she is likely going to have to start life afresh with nothing to her name at that point in her life.

Emeka71:
Probably is the wife that is paying the rent.

That's not the likely reason. Married people remain individuals with individual responsibilities to their original families.

The man should get two nurses for day and night shift rotation to care for his mum.

adioolayi:
➜You've spoken well... So far the wife will agree to all of these, if it's her own mother too

So, long as the man is willing to shower his mother, change her diapers, ensure she takes her medicine, take her to the hospital for hospital visits, etc., I doubt most women would object.

DeepSight:
➜Have you changed your view that people dont owe their parents anything?

How does my insisting on equality in marriage amount to my changing my view regarding another topic?

kingslj:
➜you abroad?

When my grandmother was sick and unable to do much back in the early 2000s— this was before she passed away several years later —, her son, who was unmarried at the time, was the one who cared for her right there in Nigeria. He didn't get married until about 10 years after she had passed. He hired a helper at the time who worked as her caregiver right there in his house. She was the one who stayed with my grandmother 24/7 until the end.

This happened right there in Nigeria.