₦airaland Forum

*When cooking stops at home…*

Have you ever thought that cooking is not just a household chores but a chain that binds the family system together?

In the 1980s, when home cooking declined in the United States and the trend of ordering food from outside increased, some economists warned:

“If the government takes over the care of children and the elderly, and private companies also handle meal preparation, the family structure will weaken.”

At that time, very few people paid attention to these words.

But then, what happened?

In 1971, 71% of American households had a husband, wife, and children living together.
Today, only 20% of such families remain.

Where did the rest go?
To nursing homes, lonely apartments, or disconnected lives…

15% of women live alone

12% of men are alone within families

41% of children are born out of wedlock

Divorce rate: 50% in first marriages, 67% in second, 74% in third

This is no accident — it’s the social cost of shutting down the kitchen.

Home-cooked food is not just nutrition — it’s love, connection, and comfort.

When families sit together to eat:

Hearts grow closer

Children learn from their elders

Relationships soften and become warm

But when everyone eats alone with their own device… homes become rest houses, and families become as formal as social media friends.

Another drawback of outside food:

Low-quality oils

Artificial flavors

Addiction to fast food

Less food of poor quality at a higher price

The result? Obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and high blood pressure at a young age!

Now, companies tell us what to eat, and pharmaceutical companies run a business of “keeping us healthy.”

Our elders used to carry their own cooked food even while traveling.
Today, we consider it “easier” to order from outside even while at home.

There is still time —
Light up the kitchen, not just the stove… revive relationships, love, security, culture, and health.

“A kitchen binds the family together.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcl3KFnBP-8?si=OgEy1P3I7r6URFge

If famly keeps cooking at home, how will restautants sell?

Capitalism spoilt this world!

Lol…naija economy don make am difficult to dey chop outside now sef

People go dey offline dey complain say Nigeria hard yet you go still see them online dey support APC


IM CONFUSED 🤔

Same thing happening in Nigeria, baby Papa mama is now a culture

Omo. You guys should be serious with life small na

True talk, the kitchen is actually the bond that keeps the family as a single unit

The absence of kitchen cooked food is not the problem.
It is busyness.
Everyone has been programmed to be busy.

In time past, people work for themselves.
They farm, they hunt. They volunteer for others. That was a different kind of busyness.
They do everything on their own terms without the dictate of government or an employer.

They work when they want, rest when they want, play when they like and eat what they have. That was what joy was like.

Now, everyone is trying to impress another to earn survival wage.
You have to sweat to eat on the terms of the government or the private institutions. You are obligated to give your best to your employer. Your time, your sleep, your volunteerism.
If you want to play, you might next meal might be at stake.

This was not caused by the absence of the home cooked kitchen food. It was caused by the absence of kitchen food items created by class action and government policies.

The trade by bata was replaced with currency, you have to work for the owner of the currency to be able to access what you don't have. The more you try to meet a basic need the less time available for other needs. That was the birth of busyness

Everything happening is deliberate. The owners of the currencies could have taken the responsibility of producing these kitchen food items cheaply but they would loose control over the people. They have to keep the people striving for survival to keep them in check. Unbreakable chain.

The kitchen home cooked food will gain dominance again if striving is removed, and that can only happen if class and competition is no longer in existence.
That would also mean end to control.

That is freedom.

Only few of the wealthy embrace it.

Striving is mans curse after all.
Only the one that placed the curse can lift it.

I agree with OP...my children will never eat until I am back from work. It has been part of them. I tried not to keep them waiting

Growing up in a family where love is the cornerstone of unity instills strong, lasting values in children. Having been nurtured in such an environment, we confidently seek partners who embody that same spirit. Remember, a family that cooks together thrives together.

Aside the family structure impact of such laziness...!

I'm even more concerned about the worsening health implications.

This is part of the reasons why overall lifespan and health of majority of humans across the world have immensely declined.

Na Mamaput, Kilimanjaro, Biggs, KFC, and others you dey expect to think about your health when cooking for you, abi their profit margins?!!


I love the fact that my mum taught us all how to cook... Cooking is so much fun to me.


The day I learnt how to bake was transforming to me... I will never forget the smell of that fresh bread as I brought it out of the oven.

Nice thread here.

This is a nice thread.

This is a very nice thread.

Sometimes family problems are managed during dinner 🍽.

Nawa o.









Please take a moment to write a quality post with at least 40 characters.
This will make the forum more interesting for everyone.

Why are you discussing American problem on a Nigerian website?

Wetin kwansign me that Americans no longer cook in their homes?

Nonsense

Thank you for sharing. You changed my perspective. I cook 98% (2% snacks and cereals of my family meals. ) I do it , but complain about it. It's tiring to be honest. Sometimes I cook up to three meals during school holidays and start cooking as early as 6 because hubby must eat breakfast and pack lunch.


Now I know it isn't just about food. It is love, connection and health.

Anytime my husband eats out he purges. But it's not easy , especially now I am expecting my third baby 🍼

Morbeta11:
[b]


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcl3KFnBP-8?si=OgEy1P3I7r6URFge

Such wonderful opinions should grace the FP.

A disjointed family does the society no good. It's an ample avenue for increased crime.

Natedoggg:
People go dey offline dey complain say Nigeria hard yet you go still see them online dey support APC


IM CONFUSED 🤔

This is where you missed it , is not about APC is about Nigerians themselves. Nigerians kill this country with their own hands, have any foreigner ever rule us since independence....NO

We fought civil war, communal clashes because we can't sit and dialogue and agree on a common ground.

Is not about APC .... is a Nigeria(N) factor.

That one na way of life for yorubas. They love eating out

Very true, Nothing like home made meals. As a man, have one or two special delicacy that your family look forward to. I cook on Saturdays when I am available and wifey only gets to hit the kitchen in the evening of such days when I may have gone out for a chat with the boys. My kids still look up to roasted yam and fresh pepper in red oil which only dad prepares. Wifey self dey look forward to weekend jollof wey I go add every ingredients and delicacies within and out of the book.

Some imaginary 'red-pillers' may want to shout 'simping' Wife go even honor you more if you know how to play hard & soft, depending on the situation.

Wow! before I forget, learn to add evening family movie time to the mix. Look for a TV show that you both enjoy and cause as much 'argument' / discuss during the movies
God bless every dedicated family man and woman out there.

Beautiful message. But e get where you go see outside food wey cheap, overfeeding go wan finish you.

BlessingIsraelM:
Thank you for sharing. You changed my perspective. I cook 98% (2% snacks and cereals of my family meals. ) I do it , but complain about it. It's tiring to be honest. Sometimes I cook up to three meals during school holidays and start cooking as early as 6 because hubby must eat breakfast and pack lunch.


Now I know it isn't just about food. It is love, connection and health.

Anytime my husband eats out he purges. But it's not easy , especially now I am expecting my third baby 🍼

When its convenient, politely ask him to help out!
If he is the type that cook, sometimes, don't criticize his cooking especially at the beginning. Let him know and feel that you enjoy and appreciate every little assistance in that department.
Building a bonded family is not easy but very doable.
More grace, Sis

Beautiful Idea, family is key, faulty families breed faulty society.

IBB007:
Lol…naija economy don make am difficult to dey chop outside now sef

u know wetin you dey talk?
The current Economy has made ppl stop cooking at home

Natedoggg:
People go dey offline dey complain say Nigeria hard yet you go still see them online dey support APC


IM CONFUSED 🤔

Forget apc.
Do you eat kitchen made food or do you order food 😀

Blame feminism for screaming that house work is degrading a form of slavery

RillJ:
When its convenient, politely ask him to help out!
If he the type that cook, sometimes, don't criticize his cooking especially at the beginning. Let him know and feel that you enjoy and appreciate every little assistance in that department.
Building a bonded family is not easy but very doable.
More grace, Sis

He assists on weekends. And sometimes when I am tired or pretend to be, he cooks or go like that and come back a hungry lion. Thank you

thesolutions:
Revive.
The kitchen is not the problem.
It is busyness.
Everyone has been programmed to be busy.

In time past, people work for themselves.
They farm, they hunt. They volunteer for others. That was a different kind of busyness.
They do everything on their own term without the dictate of government or an employer.

They work when they want, rest when they want, play when they like and eat what they have. That was what joy was like.

Now, everyone is trying to win something or someone.
You have to sweat to eat on the terms of the government or the private institutions. You are obligated to give your best to your employer. Your time, your sleep, your volunteerism.
If you want to play, you have to play on the dictate of managers.

This was not caused by the absence of the home cooked kitchen food. It was caused by the absence of kitchen food items created by class action and government policies.

The trade by bata was replaced with currency, you have to work for the owner of the currency to be able to access what you don't have. The more you try to meet a basic need the less time available for other needs. That was the birth of busyness

Everything happening is deliberate. The government that owns the money could have taken the responsibility of producing these kitchen food items cheaply but they would loose control over the people. The have to keep the people striving for survival to keep them in check. Unbreakable chain.

The kitchen home cooked food will exist again if striving is removed and that can only happen if class and competition is no longer in existence.
That would also mean end to government and control.

That is freedom.

Only few of the wealthy embrace it.

Striving is mans curse after all.
Only the one that placed the curse can lift it.

I absolutely loved your write up and your argument. It is sound and laudable.

I have just 1 thing I do not agree with though; that it would take Government or your employer to give you quality of life.

Every one has the power of choice. You can choose to get off the rat race and stop spinning. How? Just stop competing.

Find a sweetheart who wears cheap Ankara, go to the nearest redeemed church that is walking distance to you, find a job in your local government etc.

Value having your quality of life and eventually, it will grow with time because you are in control of your time, choices and life.

Is all this difficult?

Yes, but only because you would have to prioritize Fulfilment over Achievement in a generation that rates people by how much you have achieved.

It's the classic tortoise vs the rabbit race. Anyone can be the tortoise if you choose you are not competing against any other person. Because, really, really, you are not.

inside life


inside life


inside life


inside life

Meaning meaning, with the situations of things in ours nation now?

TheBizGenius:
I absolutely loved your write up and your argument. It is sound and laudable.

I have just 1 thing I do not agree with though; that it would take Government or your employer to give you quality of life.

Every one has the power of choice. You can choose to get off the rat race and stop spinning. How? Just stop competing.

Find a sweetheart who wears cheap Ankara, go to the nearest redeemed church that is walking distance to you, find a job in your local government etc.

Value having your quality of life and eventually, it will grow with time because you are in control of your time, choices and life.

Is all this difficult?

Yes, but only because you would have to prioritize Fulfilment over Achievement in a generation that rates people by how much you have achieved.

It's the classic tortoise vs the rabbit race. Anyone can be the tortoise if you choose you are not competing against any other person. Because, really, really, you are not.

Thanks for your feedback. It struck right on time.

I don't really know how to go for whats good for me leaving out others. The program is strong on me though. I have to achieve something, not for myself, for someone to be fulfilled and for hope of achieving sparks of the quality of life I envisage. Being a problem solver is not an easy burden. You end up trying to carry everyones burden.

Again, it is easy for a third party to derail from an understanding that was reached because of the competition and striving. Seeing others quality of life will always raise comparisons and that can birth competition and more striving for higher class.

I reason like one who knows how to solve peoples problems not minding his but can't because of inescapable roadblock by superior class of systems.
This is enough to make such statement you quoted

thesolutions:
Thanks for your feedback. It struck right on time.

I don't really know how to go for whats good for me leaving out others. The program is strong on me though. I have to achieve something, not for myself, for someone to be fulfilled and for hope of achieving sparks of the quality of life I envisage. Being a problem solver is not an easy burden. You end up trying to carry everyones burden.

Again, it is easy for a third party to derail from an understanding that was reached because of the competition and striving. Seeing others quality of life will always raise comparisons and that can birth competition and more striving for higher class.

I reason like one who knows how to solve peoples problems not minding his but can't because of inescapable roadblock by superior class of systems.
This is enough to make such statement you quoted

I do not know you but I am instantly humbled by your submission here. That you realize that you have a calling to achieve so you can help others is an awesome virtue. You're probably in the 1% category in the world.

If I may add to that, for being called into big level leadership, right now or in the future, thank you in advance for leading others well with your good heart.

If you may indulge me with some last statements though, I wish, hope and pray that you find a balance. Because your calling would be draining, so the more you do, the more quality of life you will need.

My advice?

Be like Superman and Clark Kent. Have your "I'm saving everyone in the city" moments but also have your secret life where you chill out with Lois Lane.

Once again, thank you for being called. You are blessed.