₦airaland Forum

You only find out who has your back when you hit your lowest point. Life has a way of testing relationships, and it is often in seasons of struggle that true loyalty is revealed.

When everything is going well, many people will surround you, offering laughter, company, and support that seems genuine. But when challenges strike whether in finances, health, or personal battles, some will quietly withdraw, while the ones who truly care will stay, offering encouragement, sacrifice, and unwavering presence.

Sadly, some friends or people you once stood by wholeheartedly may claim they can’t even remember you when you turn to them for help, showing that their loyalty was only surface-deep. Hitting rock bottom is painful, yet it strips away pretenses and shows clearly who values you for who you are, not for what you have. It is in those moments of brokenness that the strength of real friendship and love shines the brightest.

You made good point but before you blame people for not helping you, be sure they have the means and the ability to. That you see them all dressed up and pretending to be balling doesn't mean they are doing okay and are in position to help someone else. Many people can't even help themselves now. Everyone is pretending so look really deep before you start throwing blames. Forget what people do and say online. Some of them don't even eat with fish at home now but they know what kilo of turkey cost in every market.

Do people still have friends??

For me, I don’t expect anything from anyone so as not to be disappointed. I count anything you do for me as extra not as expected

Money attracts friends and poverty is the barrier that divides.

No-one cares if u helped them before...so whenever u are financially stable,always remember to invest and stop helping people as if u owe them.

Use hour money wisely...
Ensure u are stingy until your money starts working for u. Then u can become liberal if u want to.

From your name I can tell for sure the enormity of betrayals u have had.

Sorry.

Nonexisting1:
You made good point but before you blame people for not helping you, be sure they have the means and the ability to. That you see them all dressed up and pretending to be balling doesn't mean they are doing okay and are in position to help someone else. Many people can't even help themselves now. Everyone is pretending so look really deep before you start throwing blames. Forget what people do and say online. Some of them don't even eat with fish at home now but they know what kilo of turkey cost in every market.

I agree with you 100% because I know most people are just trying to manage. However, some people would feign ignorance as if they don't know you, just because they don't want to help, even when they have the means while some would just be rude, just because they don't want to help.
It doesn't take anything away from people to be kind while letting someone know they can't help at this time.

ibechris:
Money attracts friends and poverty is the barrier that divides.

No-one cares if u helped them before...so whenever u are financially stable,always remember to invest and stop helping people as if u owe them.

Use hour money wisely...
Ensure u are stingy until your money starts working for u. Then u can become liberal if u want to.

From your name I can tell for sure the enormity of betrayals u have had.

Sorry.

Thank you for your advice.

yvesboss:
Do people still have friends??

For me, I don’t expect anything from anyone so as not to be disappointed. I count anything you do for me as extra not as expected

People still have friends or people that they are close to but just make sure that they are the solid type that would have your back come rain and come shine.
Good friends are important in life!

ademijuwonlo:
I agree with you 100% because I know most people are just trying to manage. However, some people would feign ignorance as if they don't know you, just because they don't want to help, even when they have the means while some would just be rude, just because they don't want to help.
It doesn't take anything away from people to be kind while letting someone know they can't help at this time.

There's that assumption again that they have the means

People are passing through a lot. But if you ever found anyone who helps you at your lowest time never take that person for granted. Don't expect anything from anyone and be stingine with your money

Also make sure you are a true friend to the person you are expecting help from.

It is easy to expect others to prove their friendship by helping us during difficult times, when in reality, we do not go that far them.

When anyone ask me for help, the first thing that comes to my mind is an analysis of our friendship, and the calculation if the person worth helping.

Before I use to go far for people that wont go far for me, but I have stopped it. Good samaritan is often an invitation for exploitation.

The best strategy is to always count on yourself and not disturb myself with things outside my control

If I cant afford it, I make sure it does not hungry me. If she wants me to impress her with things that will make me betray myself, I leave her. If patience will give me the thing I want, I rather wait than borrow pending when I get it.

And at the core of my mind, I have accepted that no one owes me anything, which makes it extremely difficult to be in a situation where I would feel betrayed by someone.

I cant loose sleep because a human betrayed or didn't help me. If you do, then you do not understand yourself, and your nature as a human.

Being betrayed doesnt mean the betrayer is wrong. You might even be the one that is wrong even if you are a victim of betrayal. Life is not a straight line. Life no balance.

Respect yourself.

ademijuwonlo:
You only find out who has your back when you hit your lowest point. Life has a way of testing relationships, and it is often in seasons of struggle that true loyalty is revealed.

When everything is going well, many people will surround you, offering laughter, company, and support that seems genuine. But when challenges strike whether in finances, health, or personal battles, some will quietly withdraw, while the ones who truly care will stay, offering encouragement, sacrifice, and unwavering presence.

Sadly, some friends or people you once stood by wholeheartedly may claim they can’t even remember you when you turn to them for help, showing that their loyalty was only surface-deep. Hitting rock bottom is painful, yet it strips away pretenses and shows clearly who values you for who you are, not for what you have. It is in those moments of brokenness that the strength of real friendship and love shines the brightest.

That's why wen things at top or rossy for you, you behaved small small

Lol mak una rest...


Na everybody dey go through one or two also...


Your friend that couldn't help you when you're going through alot or didn't check on you too might be battling one or two...


No be everybody get courage to speak out...

Nothing new about this that is why I have a very small circle 🔴 ⭕ of friends once I find you unworthy I discard you instanta no time to waste time.

This life, nobody really send you

Seun please add the following characters

Do Nigerian women help people that are not their close family members like siblings or loverboy financially please?



Asking for a friend's uncle

yvesboss:
Do people still have friends??

For me, I don’t expect anything from anyone so as not to be disappointed. I count anything you do for me as extra not as expected

It is a lie... A very big fat lie... We all expect something from someone... It may not always b money

Yes, loyalty, trust, solidarity, care, concern.. etc

Before you take people as your friends, you need to first of all look at how they treat others and how they solve problems they face. As surprising as it may seem, wicked people can not hide their wicked character. You see it in their lives and decision-making if you watch them. It then becomes a matter of wether you are cool with it or not.

When you also care about how people close to you treat others and not just how they treat you, you see people for who they are.

It’s in your hardest moments that life quietly reveals who’s really in your corner. When everything is going great — money’s flowing, health is intact, and your smile is genuine — it’s easy to be surrounded by people. The laughs come freely, the calls are frequent, and the support seems real.

But the moment life throws you into a storm — maybe your finances collapse, your mental health dips, or you’re just emotionally drained — everything changes. Some of those same people who once cheered you on go silent. The calls stop. The energy shifts. Suddenly, it’s just you — and a handful, if any, who are still standing by you, checking in, offering help, or even just a listening ear.

And that’s when it hits you: loyalty isn’t loud; it’s consistent. It doesn’t always show up with grand gestures — sometimes it’s the quiet friend who keeps checking in, or the one who shows up without being asked. Meanwhile, those you once supported without hesitation might act like they never knew you, offering excuses or pretending your struggle doesn’t exist.

It hurts, deeply. But there’s clarity in that pain. Rock bottom doesn’t just break you — it reveals. It strips away the noise and shows you who’s real, who’s loyal, and who loved you for you, not for your success, status, or what you could give.

And while it’s painful, it’s also powerful — because knowing who truly stands with you is a gift, even if it comes wrapped in heartbreak.

ademijuwonlo:
You only find out who has your back when you hit your lowest point. Life has a way of testing relationships, and it is often in seasons of struggle that true loyalty is revealed.

When everything is going well, many people will surround you, offering laughter, company, and support that seems genuine. But when challenges strike whether in finances, health, or personal battles, some will quietly withdraw, while the ones who truly care will stay, offering encouragement, sacrifice, and unwavering presence.

Sadly, some friends or people you once stood by wholeheartedly may claim they can’t even remember you when you turn to them for help, showing that their loyalty was only surface-deep. Hitting rock bottom is painful, yet it strips away pretenses and shows clearly who values you for who you are, not for what you have. It is in those moments of brokenness that the strength of real friendship and love shines the brightest.

If you want informal relationships with people for the sake of future "hard times" get functional Networks not Friends. Friends are not meant to carry burdens they are not built for.

I don't blame anyone ooo. That friend that you see is smiling and shining most times is just on the surface, the friend self dey see sege him just dey package him self.

Hard times exposes true friends, True. But sometimes true friends sef dey find it difficult but they might not want to say what they are going through. So when a True friend can't help in need, don't jump into conclusions that they can't help when u needed them most cos they too sometimes might be at their lowest ebb during that period.

franchasofficia:
Do Nigerian women help people that are not their close family members like siblings or loverboy financially please?



Asking for a friend's uncle

I would have answered with capital No but I help people I'm not related to or in romantic relationship with. I'm Nigerian so Yes. They do . I grew up with a Nigerian woman who does too.

It was after hitting rock bottom that I realised was alone, and blood is ticker than water.

Very funny thread.. I have some people I have caught off. They can't help but they always need help

If not business partners, sorry ain't gat no time for any unfruitful friendship

I take extreme care never to hit the bottom no matter what... I no sabi beg and I no wan really test who be true friend or fake

Did you also check inwards ? What is your character like are you entitled ? Because you helped them before, does that nakenyou have a demeaning sense of entitlement ?

ademijuwonlo:
You only find out who has your back when you hit your lowest point. Life has a way of testing relationships, and it is often in seasons of struggle that true loyalty is revealed.

When everything is going well, many people will surround you, offering laughter, company, and support that seems genuine. But when challenges strike whether in finances, health, or personal battles, some will quietly withdraw, while the ones who truly care will stay, offering encouragement, sacrifice, and unwavering presence.

Sadly, some friends or people you once stood by wholeheartedly may claim they can’t even remember you when you turn to them for help, showing that their loyalty was only surface-deep. Hitting rock bottom is painful, yet it strips away pretenses and shows clearly who values you for who you are, not for what you have. It is in those moments of brokenness that the strength of real friendship and love shines the brightest.

You should have this at the back of your mind, no one owes you shit in this world....

No be lie ooooohhh,even with real ladies...choose ur friends wisely 💯

Nonexisting1:
You made good point but before you blame people for not helping you, be sure they have the means and the ability to. That you see them all dressed up and pretending to be balling doesn't mean they are doing okay and are in position to help someone else. Many people can't even help themselves now. Everyone is pretending so look really deep before you start throwing blames. Forget what people do and say online. Some of them don't even eat with fish at home now but they know what kilo of turkey cost in every market.

Was about to say this
OP if you be man better learn to help yourself o
Nobody is coming to save you
Life is hard
Deal with it

Na so oooo.this world is not only friend your son can denial you also . please always get second time plan inside you

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Nonexisting1:
You made good point but before you blame people for not helping you, be sure they have the means and the ability to. That you see them all dressed up and pretending to be balling doesn't mean they are doing okay and are in position to help someone else. Many people can't even help themselves now. Everyone is pretending so look really deep before you start throwing blames. Forget what people do and say online. Some of them don't even eat with fish at home now but they know what kilo of turkey cost in every market.

There are many ways to support someone going through hard times apart from financial support.

If you can't support financially, you can support through encouragement or at least show that you care.