₦airaland Forum

Why is the rate of friendzoning by ladies especially the ones of marriageable ones on the high side...

U are matured enough to be in a serious relationship that would lead to marriage...but u prefer to friendzone every single guy that approaches you ..and then go for married man or single father's....

Kingogbotor:
➜Why is the rate of friendzoning by ladies especially the ones of marriageable ones on the high side... U are matured enough to be in a serious relationship that would lead to marriage...but u prefer to friendzone every single guy that approaches you ..
➜ and then go for married man or single father's....

Maybe because the quality of available men out there is deplorable.

2. Nigerian men typically treat their side chicks better than their own wives and mothers. So, why are you against women opting for a promotion — side chick status— rather than settling to be a free labor provider — typical Nigerian wife — for a Nigerian man?

Most of them don't know what they want. Na wia belle face them dey go

PerfectStranger:
➜Most of them don't know what they want. Na wia belle face them dey go

This is you being delulu... woman know what they want. Rather, what they want is simply not available, and so they hold back.

As for me. I do 2 things with ladies. And been friends or friendzoned aint one of them

▶️ Either we are doing business (money related)
▶️ Or we are f*cking

STRAIGHT UP

Natbrowny:
As for me. I do 2 things with ladies. And been friends or friendzoned aint one of them

▶️ Either we are doing business (money related)
▶️ Or we are f*cking

STRAIGHT UP

Gbamsolutely

kiddaz:
➜Gbamsolutely

But that is exactly what women who refuse marriage with the same men are equally doing ... engaging them in what are situationships rather than actual committed relationships. If you are doing to them exactly what they are doing to you... Why the high-fiving? 🥱🥱🥱

kiddaz:
Gbamsolutely

Gbamsolutely pro Max

Women of nowadays aren't too bothered about marriage...

Settling down and things. It's not like older generation women that saw marriage almost like an achievement and put in their all to get into it.

A lot of things are changing and marriage and relationships as we knew it are some of those institutions undergoing massive transformation!

brain54:
➜Women of nowadays aren't too bothered about marriage... Settling down and things. It's not like older generation women that saw marriage almost like an achievement and put in their all to get into it. A lot of things are changing and marriage and relationships as we knew it are some of those institutions undergoing massive transformation!

Well-needed transformations as women now have a means of understanding the real-world values for the services they offer men in the name of marriage.

Kobojunkie:
Well-needed transformations as women now have a means of understanding the real-world values for the services they offer men in the name of marriage.

To be fair...

Men are also changing their orientation and understanding of concept of marriage.

So I would say it's not really a case of only women waking up to the modern realizations and dynamics of marriage but also men.

People generally are more comfortable about not being pressured into relationships and marriage!

Natbrowny:
As for me. I do 2 things with ladies. And been friends or friendzoned aint one of them

▶️ Either we are doing business (money related)
▶️ Or we are f*cking

STRAIGHT UP

someone get this man a shield and a bottle of whiskey

KingDashx:
someone get this man a shield and a bottle of whiskey

😂. I've got whiskey. But no medal.

Whoever wanna gimme medal should change it to extra whiskey. 😂

brain54:
➜To be fair... Men are also changing their orientation and understanding of concept of marriage. So I would say it's not really a case of only women waking up to the modern realizations and dynamics of marriage but also men. People generally are more comfortable about not being pressured into relationships and marriage!

This isn't what the OP is talking about, though. He is talking of women not even being available to those supposedly unpressured men.

Kobojunkie:
This isn't what the OP is talking about, though. He is talking of women not even being available to those supposedly unpressured men.

Yeah, but I was responding to your comment...

Which seemed to make it a woman only affair and I wanted to be fair and balance the argument!

brain54:
➜Yeah, but I was responding to your comment... Which seemed to make it a woman only affair and I wanted to be fair and balance the argument!

The transformations I described have nothing to do with people generally not being pressured, but rather with women discovering that they have generally been undervalued and no longer looking to settle for just anything in marriage. Most women are not averse to marriage; they simply no longer wish to settle in marriage like their forebearers were forced to by society.

If a woman were to find herself a quality man who she finds will definitely help her continuously level up in life and in marriage, she would probably not think twice to latch onto such a man. The problem is the quality of men out there is deplorable, hence the reason why, as OP said, many of them are being friend-zoned instead of being seen as a price of some sort.

Kobojunkie:
The transformations I described have nothing to do with people generally not being pressured, but rather with women discovering that they have generally been undervalued and no longer looking to settle for just anything in marriage. Most women are not averse to marriage; they simply no longer wish to settle in marriage like their forebearers were forced to by society.

If a woman were to find herself a quality man who she finds will definitely help her continuously level up in life and in marriage, she would probably not think twice to latch onto such a man. The problem is the quality of men out there is deplorable, hence the reason why, as OP said, many of them are being friend-zoned instead of being seen as a price of some sort.

You are right...

And I get your point. I just don't think the transformations affects women alone. The men are also affected by the quality of women being shunned out by today's society... probably even have more to complain about.


I really don't think It's a gender based problem but rather a general issue or concern for both sexes!

brain54:
➜You are right... And I get your point. I just don't think the transformations affects women alone. The men are also affected [b]by the quality of women being shunned out by today's society... probably even have more to complain about.[/b]
➜I really don't think It's a gender based problem but rather a general issue or concern for both sexes!

1. What exactly do you mean when you say quality? Are they any different from the qualities their ancestors before them desired? What is it that men complain today about different from their ancestors before them?

2. The two genders are approaching the issue of marriage differently. There is no denying that at all. This is something that is happening world over.

Kobojunkie:
1. What exactly do you mean when you say quality? Are they any different from the qualities their ancestors before them desired? What is it that men complain today about different from their ancestors before them?

2. The two genders are approaching the issue of marriage differently. There is no denying that at all. This is something that is happening world over.

You used the word quality first...


Definitely the qualities desired from their ancestors are different from that required by modern "couples" for example their ancestors may just have required women to bear (I done forget the spelling of bear/bare ) children and help with house chores. Modern marriage is much more complicated than that.

Definitely both genders are approaching the issue of marriage differently but not too dissimilarly.

And yes it's happening the world over!

brain54:
➜You used the word quality first... Definitely the qualities desired from their ancestors are different from that required by modern "couples" for example their ancestors may just have required women to bear (I done forget the spelling of bear/bare ) children and help with house chores. Modern marriage is much more complicated than that.
➜ Definitely both genders are approaching the issue of marriage differently but not too dissimilarly. And yes it's happening the world over!

1. If traditional qualities are what the men seek, then there is no shortage of women out there in villages and rural areas who fit the needs of these men, provided they prove themselves good/capable providers. I am really looking to discuss these complaints you say that men have?

2. I disagree! Women are more and more choosing to decenter men— 4B movement, childfree and single for life women, and, let's not forget, divorce-as-option-to-marriage mentality—, whereas, men still feel there is a place for women in their life, only they pursue to go it without formal commitments(even though their lives still revolve around having women in their lives). How is all of that similar?

Kobojunkie:
1. If traditional qualities are what the men seek, then there is no shortage of women out there in villages and rural areas who fit the needs of these men, provided they prove themselves good/capable providers. I am really looking to discuss these complaints you say that men have?

2. I disagree! Women are more and more choosing to decenter men— 4B movement, childfree and single for life women, and, let's not forget, divorce-as-option-to-marriage mentality—, whereas, men still feel there is a place for women in their life, only they pursue to go it without formal commitments(even though their lives still revolve around having women in their lives). How is all of that similar?

No kobo I didn't say traditional qualities are what men need in modern marriages...

I only used that as an example to say that the complexity of marriage has changed over time.

All what you stated in both approaches in your number 2 are different but not too dissimilar.

There are numerous complaints but I'd go into that maybe later. Right now I'm very fatigued!

brain54:
➜No kobo I didn't say traditional qualities are what men need in modern marriages... I only used that as an example to say that the complexity of marriage has changed over time.
➜ All what you stated in both approaches in your number 2 are different but not too dissimilar.
➜ There are numerous complaints but I'd go into that maybe later. Right now I'm very fatigued!

1. Then try to be more specific.

2. How can women choosing to decenter men be considered similar to men wanting to tie themselves loosely to women?

3. There aren't numerous complaints from women, as the issues they have can be boiled down to the fact that they wish for a more level playing field... a partnership that benefits them as much as it benefits the men. If men have numerous complaints, then why not point out some specifics that you think are valid? You don't have to do it now, but it would definitely make sense to continue only when you are capable of that.

carry your L and move on, stop salivating on one girl like a mumbo jumbo


there are plenty of fishes out there, why focus on one

Kobojunkie:
1. What exactly do you mean when you say quality? Are they any different from the qualities their ancestors before them desired? What is it that men complain today about different from their ancestors before them?

2. The two genders are approaching the issue of marriage differently. There is no denying that at all. This is something that is happening world over.

but you were the first to make it a case about quality and gender.

Predictor3:
but you were the first to make it a case about quality and gender.

Yes, and?

Friendship before relationships is only disliked by Fboys because it doesn’t allow them to get in and get out.

Men are most vulnerable when they are in the emotional state, while the woman is at the logical stage (getting to know him and making the decision whether he is worthy) and they want to fast forward to the logical state (when the woman gives him access) and she Is now in the emotional state herself.

Young women should prolong the friendship stage (logical) for a minimum of 90 days before giving him access (emotional).

*Miseducation dude school of thought *

Natbrowny:
As for me. I do 2 things with ladies. And been friends or friendzoned aint one of them

▶️ Either we are doing business (money related)
▶️ Or we are f*cking

STRAIGHT UP

God bless you