₦airaland Forum

eniolorunfe:
How did they all get your address in the first place? The solution is to start saying “No” and setting boundaries.

Wahala for people pleasers ooo…

It's very close to our workplace, 3 buildings after

hakeemhakeem:
You exposed yourself first, by telling them you have gotten an apartment within. Since you can say no get a 🔔 and pretend to pray and ring it make them uncomfortable to sleep at night

Henceforth, I won't even allow anyone of them pass the night at my place

hakeemhakeem:
You exposed yourself first, by telling them you have gotten an apartment within. Since you can say no get a 🔔 and pretend to pray and ring it make them uncomfortable to sleep at night

There's no way they won't know because of the proximity to work , it's 3 buildings away

Newton's 3rd law : " For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." When their actions enter you wella, you will give them the needed reaction. As for now, you are still enjoying there actions.

Dbeautyy:
Newton's 3rd law : " For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." When their actions enter you wella, you will give them the needed reaction. As for now, you are still enjoying there actions.

Yes ooo!! Be like dem still dey gist before them gather sleep for night .




They are well grown, by the time she start to react, they will get the message quickly

You dey please dem and displease yourself



Try this at first;
Make sure you have nothing to do/get outside again. Get to your house first, lock them out and put your phone on DND. If anybody dey knock on your door, lock your ears.


No send anybody papa.. Na because dem no send your papa too, Na why dem dey inconvenient you

I have only one rule, if you can't reach me on the phone, kindly do not come to my house except it's of the topmost importance...


Even my mama would not pay me surprise visit, talk more of babes wey think say they wanna catch me unfresh, even my neighbors would call me first before knocking on my door cause I don't care, if you catch me unaware and I'm not in a good mood, I wouldn't even see your face, na from inside room you go dey hear my voice to go back to where you're coming from....



I no dey visit people carelessly, so I deserve the same treatment for myself...


Life no hard....

Kingluqman:
You dey please dem and displease yourself



Try this at first;
Make sure you have nothing to do/get outside again. Get to your house first, lock them out and put your phone on DND. If anybody dey knock on your door, lock your ears.


No send anybody papa.. Na because dem no send your papa too, Na why dem dey inconvenient you

Lol.. I already planned to do that after work today

Ganicus676:
I have only one rule, if you can't reach me on the phone, kindly do not come to my house except it's of the topmost importance...


Even my mama would not pay me surprise visit, talk more of babes wey think say they wanna catch me unfresh, even my neighbors would call me first before knocking on my door cause I don't care, if you catch me unaware and I'm not in a good mood, I wouldn't even see your face, na from inside room you go dey hear my voice to go back to where you're coming from....



I no dey visit people carelessly, so I deserve the same treatment for myself...


Life no hard....

Oh God!
I really wish I brought this my challenge to nairaland earlier

Tell them

Marpatsyl:
Hmmm.. Maybe I'll start telling them I'm not around

You're still giving excuses. Mtchew. Why will you waste lies that could be used for something much more important on a simple matter you can handle by just saying no? Tell them to stop coming because you want some privacy which is why you pay the rent alone. They will become your enemy either way so why bother how and when they do that.

Nonexisting1:
You're still giving excuses. Mtchew. Why will you waste lies that could be used for something much more important on a simple matter you can handle by just saying no? Tell them to stop coming because you want some privacy which is why you pay the rent alone. They will become your enemy either way so why bother how and when they do that.

Noted, I won't waste lies.. Lol

Marpatsyl:
For years, I've been spending so much on transportation to and fro work. I leave home very early and get back late. I don't really eat well because most times, I have to buy food. I was getting sick often because of the stress from the whole issue..
So, late last year, I decided to get an apartment close to work, a trekkable distance. I raised funds in addition to what I had with support from my siblings and friends to get a decent apartment.
Before then, I wanted to have a roommate but all those that showed interest said it was too expensive. I paid for the apartment and started buying things gradually. Now the apartment is set, my colleagues wouldn't allow me have peace, they stylishly take turns to come and pass night and even prepare food to eat and take to work
How do I stop them politely because I'm actually beginning to enjoy my privacy

They got one choice .. either live in with you i.e share bills and rent or piss off..


You need to be blunt

Marpatsyl:
This one touch me o

Sorry, but what do you mean by that?

Silentgroper:
They got one choice .. either live in with you i.e share bills and rent or piss off..


You need to be blunt

They should only piss off, I'm no longer interested in having a roommate

Double0h7:
Sorry, but what do you mean by that?

It means I felt the impact of your words and in a positive way. Truly my home is and should be my sanctuary. I shouldn't feel wicked guarding my personal space..
Thank you

Marpatsyl:
It means I felt the impact of your words and in a positive way. Truly my home is and should be my sanctuary. I shouldn't feel wicked guarding my personal space..
Thank you

I’m glad! I thought I hurt your feelings 😁. This is your first test as an independent woman. Don’t play with your home. If these are true friends then they will understand and if they are users then good riddance. You didn’t inconvenience others when you were travelling long distances to get to work so don’t let anyone disturb your peace. You got this 💪

your apartment is now a honeypot, attracting energy-sùcking colleagues like flies to a r0tting c0rpse. de-platform them. stop answering the door. block their numbers. claim you're experiencing sleep paralysis and need a 'safe space'. whatever it takes. your sanity is worth more than their freeloading."

but these your frnds get mind oo.
If they shy away because to them the apartment is expensive then they shud also shy away frm coming close to dt apartment to rest or pass the nite or cook.

Locking your door or trying to avoid them will even spoil the frndship you still like to maintain with them.

It is best you tell them directly to their face .. Tell them dt ur huz warming celebration has ended. .

that henceforth if they like to chill in your place. They will have to be sharing the rent with you.

[b]say it with an innocent smile. [/b]That if they come over that you won't open the door for them.

Remember, say it with a smile. Just watch. They will also smile bk when they hear it and they won't come back again.

With this, frndship is still intact. No bad blood. Na your huz. Your huz , your rules.

why is Everyone’s comment so mean and inhospitable? @OP just let it go, I’m not saying you should be a doormat but don’t sweat it, Let God provide all your needs just like he did this for you, when they become wasteful and over bearing caution them how it makes you uncomfortable when they do or say certain things or do certain things other than that it’s a good sign people wants to come around you, even if in their mind they’re leaching. Our God who lives in heaven who sees all things men are too short sighted to see will reward you in your time of needs. But of course it’s your choice to sternly shoo each and everyone of them away.

Marpatsyl:
True, you're making my mind strong.
Henceforth, I promise to be strict with my boundaries, so help me God

option 1: Hard

1. Be blunt and say don't come again.
2. Announce that your landlord doesn't want sleep-over visitors because of the agreement you signed

option 2: Soft

1. Announce and pretend you are moving out of the place to a farther place because of affordability
2. "Move out"

option 3: Midway

Leave them. Permit only one of them and inform any other person that wants to stay that the selected person has already taken up the space

See, what you choose to do is up to you as no one can really provide a right advice. Do what makes you happy

Lesson going forward: you shouldn't have announced your address when you moved to the place close to your office. Learn to keep information about your personal life to yourself. People will generally use the information to their advantage

Don't be too hard like stone. Don't make unnecessary enemies or gossipers..

Just be like (in a friendly way) "id rather much like be alone today/ dis weekend honestly"

If they are sensible, they will get the drift.

Infact, if anybody told me these words I typed up there, quickly I will disappear and unless you call me yourself explicitly or you in some tight fix, you will never see me in your house again.

Globad:
option 1: Hard

1. Be blunt and say don't come again.
2. Announce that your landlord doesn't want sleep-over visitors because of the agreement you signed

option 2: Soft

1. Announce and pretend you are moving out of the place to a farther place because of affordability
2. "Move out"

option 3: Midway

Leave them. Permit only one of them and inform any other person that wants to stay that the selected person has already taken up the space

See, what you choose to do is up to you as no one can really provide a right advice. Do what makes you happy

Lesson going forward: you shouldn't have announced your address when you moved to the place close to your office. Learn to keep information about your personal life to yourself. People will generally use the information to their advantage

THANK YOU..
Lesson learnt

Nonexisting1:
You're still giving excuses. Mtchew. Why will you waste lies that could be used for something much more important on a simple matter you can handle by just saying no? Tell them to stop coming because you want some privacy which is why you pay the rent alone. They will become your enemy either way so why bother how and when they do that.

Exactly, they will still beef her over other pettiness where she will try to exercise any sort of sovereignty in her home.

Better to cut them off, wholesale, and at least enjoy some peace of mind along with the inevitable beef.