₦airaland Forum

Once beaten twice shy!!! Never would I do such a thing. Man has been turned into a trick. He will keep on paying and should expect nothing of value in return.

Been there!! Doesn't end well. Demand value as you provide value in all your dealings and relationships with humans else you'll be a doormat.

Life is a two way street, don't shortchange yourself in the quest for love, affection and companionship. Set standards and raise the bar accordingly as you upgrade yourself. Never settle for less

That's it when a lady said that she wants true love she is literally saying that she wants a mumu money presser. Meanwhile, the said guy immediate siblings might be in need of ordinary data sub. Anyways he go learn the hard way

correctguy101:
Every man should endeavor to never go broke.

You know wetin ya eye go see if you go broke?

As for the second bolded. That kind fool plenty among men. Their mama and sisters and brothers never bellefull, dem go dey invest in one "biabia bank"... Dem forget say biabia bank, na bank of no returns.

There were times I had it tough, I don't look for friends to help me, I have my lovely sisters. They took care of me until I got back on my feet as na me be their sure osusu bishop. Until today, if one kind business enter, na family meeting straight, I'll summon everyone and we'll gather and enjoy ourselves. Na so I use dey live my life o. Although, the mothers of my children joined in the last time we had a gathering, it was still fun.

Gosh I feel like crying already

So you need maga

Double0h7:
Very lucky girl! I’m jealous no be small 😭

SpencerForbes:
Yeah. It is his money. That’s why I stopped sympathizing with men that cries when they’re heartbroken. That’s when “you’ll hear after all I’ve done for her”

It’s good to be happy as you said but don’t be shocked if you stumble and she leaves (that’s if the relationship was “serious”) cos you’ve always paid her and once the buyer is no more available, the seller looks for another buyer.

Not only that, majority of this men that buy love always ends up being cheated on cos you can’t buy a lady’s feeling. So it’s better you have a motive for giving and not to impress. (That’s if you want a serious relationship) cos you’ll always end up being bitten.

Don’t also forget human nature. “Give a man a yard and he wants a mile” once you start giving a lady that hasn’t earn 100k in her life 400k, majority of them would start asking for hair of 1 million. Especially with entitlement mentality and you’ll start wondering how it started.

Relationship with a lady should be like relationship with a child. Your child can’t ask you for 5k and you’ll just give him because you feel like. You’ll want to know how he plans to spend it and how. If the reasons aren’t understandable, you can give him 300 or 500 naira, that’s training but the moment you start you can’t stop. Then you’ll be wondering who taught him.

If I were the man, I’ll set her up for life than giving her the “peanuts”. She might not understand but she’ll thank you later on and also learn to fish by herself. She’ll be more grateful if she’s reasonable than when he’s given her “peanuts”

Shalom😎
🚶‍♂️

💯 baba no talk too much who no wan gree learn nw go learn later na e money leave him

Goddyrichie:
💯 baba no talk too much who no wan gree learn nw go learn later na e money leave him

I don wash my hand oo boss 😂😂😂
We the broke boys association will still be here when the post gets to frontpage😂

🚶‍♂️

SpencerForbes:
Yeah. It is his money. That’s why I stopped sympathizing with men that cries when they’re heartbroken. That’s when “you’ll hear after all I’ve done for her”

It’s good to be happy as you said but don’t be shocked if you stumble and she leaves (that’s if the relationship was “serious”) cos you’ve always paid her and once the buyer is no more available, the seller looks for another buyer.

Not only that, majority of this men that buy love always ends up being cheated on cos you can’t buy a lady’s feeling. So it’s better you have a motive for giving and not to impress. (That’s if you want a serious relationship) cos you’ll always end up being bitten.

Don’t also forget human nature. “Give a man a yard and he wants a mile” once you start giving a lady that hasn’t earn 100k in her life 400k, majority of them would start asking for hair of 1 million. Especially with entitlement mentality and you’ll start wondering how it started.

Relationship with a lady should be like relationship with a child. Your child can’t ask you for 5k and you’ll just give him because you feel like. You’ll want to know how he plans to spend it and how. If the reasons aren’t understandable, you can give him 300 or 500 naira, that’s training but the moment you start you can’t stop. Then you’ll be wondering who taught him.

If I were the man, I’ll set her up for life than giving her the “peanuts”. She might not understand but she’ll thank you later on and also learn to fish by herself. She’ll be more grateful if she’s reasonable than when he’s given her “peanuts”

Shalom😎
🚶‍♂️

SpencerForbes:
Very funny. Have you ever played betting🤔 5 mins pleasure can kill. That’s why we warn others against alcohol and prostitutes.

Now let’s imagine we follow your trends and he engages a gold digger. She ends up finding his secrets, stealing his documents and selling his properties

Or let’s imagine he upgrades her and they traveled out together but since she has the entitlement mentality she ends up taking him to court?

Another scenario, since he has spoilt her. She founds another man to spend your money on and she ends up poisoning you?

Your thought processes are good for flings and short term relationships but if you’re looking for something tangible with this mentality, I pray you be among the very few😎
🚶‍♂️

You give her peanuts (that's the key point - the money is peanuts to you but big to her) and she gives you her body, her appreciation, her adoration, her affection, etc. Sometimes that warm feeling she has when she thinks about you carries over - that's how many ladies "fall in love". But she doesn't have to. Anything can happen from there as can happen in any relationship. Things change sometimes, no matter what. There's no law that says you must keep giving her money. And most times it is the "rich" guy that'll get tired of her

Tenrack:
I feel sorry for the guy. He go learn the hard way. We always do. He should make sure he never goes broke. Shiorr. Funny enough the mama fit dey one side dey struggle to eat.

Doing all these for a nigerian lady is very risky most white ladies will never betray the man a nigerian lady can easily cheat on the man for any stupid reason.

Mrexcell:
Doing all these for a nigerian lady is very risky most white ladies will never betray the man a nigerian lady can easily cheat on the man for any stupid reason.

God bless you. I'm hundred percent certain that she's gonna cheat on the guy. They cannot help themselves

correctguy101:
Every man should endeavor to never go broke.

You know wetin ya eye go see if you go broke?

As for the second bolded. That kind fool plenty among men. Their mama and sisters and brothers never bellefull, dem go dey invest in one "biabia bank"... Dem forget say biabia bank, na bank of no returns.

[b]There were times I had it tough, I don't look for friends to help me, I have my lovely sisters. They took care of me until I got back on my feet as na me be their sure osusu bishop. Until today, if one kind business enter, na family meeting straight, I'll summon everyone and we'll gather and enjoy ourselves. Na so I use dey live my life o. [/b]Although, the mothers of my children joined in the last time we had a gathering, it was still fun.

you be correct nigga. May God continue to bless you man.

The unfortunate is that, the may not have what is required of her (Well cultured and respectful). Which is hard to find among her set. Herself and her relatives would soon start seeing tha man as their birthright.

Finally, these money giving to her is what would make her disrespect the man soonest when she feels she has arrived. You would hear why is he monitoring me, why asking who is calling me.

FreeIgboho:
You give her peanuts (that's the key point - the money is peanuts to you but big to her) and she gives you her body, her appreciation, her adoration, her affection, etc. Sometimes that warm feeling she has when she thinks about you carries over - that's how many ladies "fall in love". But she doesn't have to. Anything can happen from there as can happen in any relationship. Things change sometimes, no matter what. There's no law that says you must keep giving her money. And most times it is the "rich" guy that'll get tired of her

The last part is what I’m saying. It’s very beneficial for short term relationships not long term relationships. Cos you’re giving her peanuts now doesn’t mean she won’t want chicken😂. Only few can curb the gr@@d in them. The problem is not the giving but when it stops. Always remember the law of cause and effect.

For short term relationships, it is perfect but you see “serious” relationships, don’t try it. Because no one can determine the future. The point you’ll need that your caring wife, she won’t be there cos you started with giving.

Always make sure a woman invest not just love you before you can start “upgrading” her because love can be faked but you see investment, it can never.

If the man is giving with no emotions, it’s beautiful but if he’s giving for long term and with thought to impress, he’ll lose in the long run.

Get my point, I’m not saying it’s bad. It is beautiful for STR but don’t think this method will favor you if you’re having something tangible in mind.

If the man get tired Abeg who he wan leave am for😂😂😂
They daidia oo

🚶‍♂️

Mrexcell:
Doing all these for a nigerian lady is very risky most white ladies will never betray the man a nigerian lady can easily cheat on the man for any stupid reason.

Quite the opposite. You CAN'T buy most white lady love with money. It'll even annoy them

buzmanjohn:
So you need maga

Nope! Just a responsible, generous, hardworking man. They exist and many women are enjoying them.

SpencerForbes:
The last part is what I’m saying. It’s very beneficial for short term relationships not long term relationships. Cos you’re giving her peanuts now doesn’t mean she won’t want chicken😂. Only few can curb the gr@@d in them. The problem is not the giving but when it stops. Always remember the law of cause and effect.

For short term relationships, it is perfect but you see “serious” relationships, don’t try it. Because no one can determine the future. The point you’ll need that your caring wife, she won’t be there cos you started with giving.

Always make sure a woman invest not just love you before you can start “upgrading” her because love can be faked but you see investment, it can never.

If the man is giving with no emotions, it’s beautiful but if he’s giving for long term and with thought to impress, he’ll lose in the long run.

Get my point, I’m not saying it’s bad. It is beautiful for STR but don’t think this method will favor you if you’re having something tangible in mind.

If the man get tired Abeg who he wan leave am for😂😂😂
They daidia oo

🚶‍♂️

I see your point but no one can determine the future no matter what. See all she's giving you for "peanuts". If tomorrow things change, you have given her almost nothing (from your perspective), while she's given you herself and lots of happy moments!

SpencerForbes:
Lol 😂 I used to fall for this before but now my eyes don see shege😂

So I don’t believe in loyal ladies 😂
🚶‍♂️

Alright. There are many good ladies in our society.

Tenrack:
Gosh I feel like crying already

Who beat you...?

Tenrack:
you be correct nigga. May God continue to bless you man.

Wish you same my good man.

Kozino:
A Nigerian girl who is a student has shared with her friend what her boyfriend of 1 month (Destiny helper) already got for her and her family. To her, this is what love is all about.


The Price of Affection: When Gifts Become the Language of Love

The story is a familiar one. A young Nigerian student, her heart full of hope, shares an excited whisper with her friend. Her new boyfriend—her "Destiny Helper"—has, in just one month, not only gifted her things she desires but has extended his generosity to her family. In her eyes, this is not just kindness; this is the very definition of love. He is serious, he is capable, and he is proving his worth in the most tangible way he knows: through financial provision.

This scenario forces us to ask a difficult question: In the pursuit of love, does opening your wallet speak louder than opening your heart? Does using money to show you're serious really make sense?

The answer is not a simple yes or no, but a complicated "it depends."

The Case For: It's More Than Just Money

To dismiss this as mere materialism is to ignore the deep-seated cultural and practical realities at play.

1. The Provider Paradigm: In many cultures, including Nigeria, a man's ability to provide is historically and traditionally linked to his readiness for a family. It’s a sign of stability, responsibility, and foresight. When a man helps a girl's family, he isn't just buying gadgets; he is investing in her ecosystem. He is saying, "I see your world, and I want to be a supportive part of it." This can feel profoundly secure and respectful.

2. The Language of Action: In a world full of empty promises and "chatting," financial investment is a concrete action. While another suitor might be weaving dreams with words, the one who pays for a laptop, helps with a sibling's school fees, or settles a urgent bill is demonstrating commitment in a way that is undeniably real. It cuts through the noise and says, "My intentions are backed by sacrifice."

3. The "Destiny Helper" Complex: The term itself is revealing. In a challenging economic environment where many struggle, a partner who can alleviate real, pressing burdens can genuinely feel like a "helper" sent by destiny. For a student juggling academics and financial pressure, this support isn't just romantic; it can feel like a lifeline.

The Case Against: The Foundation Built on Sand


However, when gifts become the primary dialect of the relationship, the foundation can become dangerously fragile.

1. The Confusion of Currency: The most significant risk is the conflation of love with money. If a woman begins to equate being cared for with being cared about, she may find herself in a relationship with a banker, not a partner. The question becomes: Is he paying for love, or is he paying for control? Is he giving freely, or is he building a ledger of debt—emotional or otherwise—that will be called in later?

2. The Silence of the Authentic Self: When money does all the talking, the crucial, early conversations never happen. You don't learn about his temper when he's frustrated. You don't see his empathy when you're sad. You don't witness his integrity when no one is watching. The glitter of gifts can obscure the flaws in his character until it's too late. A man's generosity with his wallet tells you nothing about his generosity with his time, his ears, or his heart.

3. The Inevitable Shift: What happens when the money slows down? Economic fortunes change. If the relationship was built on the premise of provision, what is left when he can no longer provide at the same level? The love that was purchased can too easily be repossessed. A relationship that cannot survive a financial drought was never built on solid ground.

The Balance: Appreciation vs. Expectation


So, does it make sense?

It makes sense as a [/b]factor, but it is a catastrophic mistake to make it [b]the [/b]factor.

A man who is serious will often want to show it in tangible ways, and in a practical world, that includes financial care. There is nothing wrong with appreciating a partner who is generous. The problem arises when:

[b]Gifts become the expectation, not the appreciation.
The value of the person becomes tied to the value of their presents.

The receiving partner forgets to look for the other, more enduring currencies of love: respect, trust, communication, shared values, and emotional safety.

True love is not a transaction. It is not a monthly subscription fee paid for with gifts. The man who is truly "serious" is the one who invests not just in your present comfort but in your future happiness. He invests with his time, his listening ear, his unwavering support for your dreams, and his consistent presence through good days and bad.

The "Destiny Helper" who only helps with money may just be a short-term loan. The one who helps you build a life of shared respect, emotional intimacy, and unwavering partnership—that is the true destiny worth waiting for. His generosity is a welcome bonus, but his character is the non-negotiable foundation.

What do you think?

Guys, in all your might and by any means necessary, avoid ladies that can't provide their basic needs by themselves. No matter how rich you are, avoid them.

Omalicious1:
Guys, in all your might and by any means necessary, avoid ladies that can't provide their basic needs by themselves. No matter how rich you are, avoid them.

You don't know the joy of having a lady that is terrified of losing you OR an employee that'll do anything not to lose her job!

FreeIgboho:
I see your point but no one can determine the future no matter what. See all she's giving you for "peanuts". If tomorrow things change, you have given her almost nothing (from your perspective), while she's given you herself and lots of happy moments!

What’s she giving☹️ Isn’t the man also giving his MEAT - money, energy, attention and time? He’s giving her everything her dad can’t provide while she’s giving him things he can get with as low as bokku bread price. Just imagine what that 500k will do in the life of a girl that hasn’t earn 40k in her life? Happy moments you can still get from hooks?

That 500k is 3 months subscription for average hooks. Leave that talk sef. Those happy moments your mom can still give you.

The best thing a lady can give you is support and respect forget that body you’re saying. Any lady that can’t support you with ideas and innovations is not supposed to be in your life period. If you look at it from the bigger pics, the man gains little or what he can already gain with little money and effort while the lady gains a lot. Very soon she’ll stop working because she has odogwu. When the odogwu goes broke or loses his job, then she’ll monkey branch.

The man is at a loss and that kind of relationship shouldn’t be for long term
Shalom✝️
🚶‍♂️

Her love language is "Giving" buying of gifts and sending money,yet she cannot speak her own love language.

Love wey they use money buy, they no dey pay finish.

I mean the goal is not to be stingy towards one's partner, but to meet someone that is worth it, love has to be genuine and mutual, I don't want to be loved because I am feeding you. I bet if this lady will convince this guy to set her up with reasonable business for her to be self reliant.

I guess that's why I respect my girlfriend, she's got nothing on you, she just wants to be loved, no pressure on you.

Goodlady:
Alright. There are many food ladies in our society.

Okay I believe you😁

Demigod22:
Her love language is "Giving" buying of gifts and sending money,yet she cannot speak her own love language.

Love wey they use money buy, they no dey pay finish.

I mean the goal is not to be stingy towards one's partner, but to meet someone that is worth it, love has to be genuine and mutual, I don't want to be loved because I am feeding you. I bet if this lady will convince this guy to set her up with reasonable business for her to be self reliant.

I guess that's why I respect my girlfriend, she's got nothing on you, she just wants to be loved, no pressure on you.

That’s the goal bro. Find someone that wants to be loved not someone that wants to be bought

🚶‍♂️

When it get to your turn celebrate beating and toxin relationship

FreeIgboho:
You don't know the joy of having a lady that is terrified of losing you OR an employee that'll do anything not to lose her job!

Avoid such ladies

SpencerForbes:
What’s she giving☹️ Isn’t the man also giving his MEAT - money, energy, attention and time? He’s giving her everything her dad can’t provide while she’s giving him things he can get with as low as bokku bread price. Just imagine what that 500k will do in the life of a girl that hasn’t earn 40k in her life? Happy moments you can still get from hooks?

That 500k is 3 months subscription for average hooks. Leave that talk sef. Those happy moments your mom can still give you.

The best thing a lady can give you is support and respect forget that body you’re saying. Any lady that can’t support you with ideas and innovations is not supposed to be in your life period. If you look at it from the bigger pics, the man gains little or what he can already gain with little money and effort while the lady gains a lot. Very soon she’ll stop working because she has odogwu. When the odogwu goes broke or loses his job, then she’ll monkey branch.

The man is at a loss and that kind of relationship shouldn’t be for long term
Shalom✝️
🚶‍♂️

She's risking pregnancy and becomming a baby mama. You're risking nothing. She's risking being known as non-marriage-material lose woman and second hand good - some guy's left-over. You are risking being known as a conqueror of ladies, a successful player who knows his game!

FreeIgboho:
She's risking pregnancy and becomming a baby mama. You're risking nothing. She's risking being known as non-marriage-material lose woman and second hand good, some guy's left-over. You are risking being known as a conqueror of ladies, a successful player who knows his game!

I’m risking my money and investment, I’m risking my care and time (she’ll want me to be there when she needs me even if I’m busy.) I’m risking STI due to innate nature, numerous monkey branches 😂 and hypergamy. I’m also risking paternity fraud due to her rush to escape hunger and poverty. So why should she be the victim🤔

SpencerForbes:
I’m risking my money and investment, I’m risking my care and time (she’ll want me to be there when she needs me even if I’m busy.) I’m risking STI due to innate nature, numerous monkey branches 😂 and hypergamy. I’m also risking paternity fraud due to her rush to escape hunger and poverty. So why should she be the victim🤔

You are risking NOTHING! Except being known as a successful ladies man, a sougt-after stud - while she'll be known as olosho! The money means nothing to you - it is not even .001% of your income.
Even STI you mentioned, she's twice as likely to contract HIV from you than you from her, and five times as likely for some other STI. (See below)
No comparison who is losing

FreeIgboho:
You are risking NOTHING! Except being known as a successful ladies man, a sougt-after stud - while she'll be known as olosho! The money means nothing to you - it is not even .001% of your income.
Even STI you mentioned, she's twice as likely to contract HIV from you than you from her, and five times as likely for some other STI. (See below)
No comparison who is losing

Money is nothing😂 there was a certain rush then when men were training their girlfriends in school then get heartbroken. Why did you think it hurt them if it meant nothing🤔

FreeIgboho:
You are risking NOTHING! Except being known as a successful ladies man, a sougt-after stud - while she'll be known as olosho! The money means nothing to you - it is not even .001% of your income.
Even STI you mentioned, she's twice as likely to contract HIV from you than you from her, and five times as likely for some other STI. (See below)
No comparison who is losing

Why do you also think it is easy for a lady to leave a relationship than a man🤔