₦airaland Forum

It took me lots of strength to read through. I pity nice guys really and Mr poster is one of such men. You always try to please her and do everything to make things work, you even compromise and try to find how you can be better for her but in all of this and all through your post you left your needs out in the cold. Not up for discussion but you're always up to adjust for her and she or rather you can't put your foot down as a man and demand the respect you deserve.

You're probably not the man for her and she's just there for the good life. It's why she complains about trivial things and you keep trying to try while she cares less about your needs or anything.

Her father told you the truth in a subtle way because she's his daughter but you failed and still failing to grasp. Communication is information relating both ways and in your case between you and your wife, which should mean both your needs relayed and expressed with the intention to meet eachother at some equal or equilibrium.

I pity nice guys sha. Una go suffer forever !!!

dipset01:
I honestly feel very frustrated and just need to get this off my chest. I now understand what people mean when they say, “Don’t marry the wrong spouse.” Brethren, I think I may have gotten this one wrong.

My wife and I have been married for seven years. I was 28 when we got married, and she was 22. In the beginning, things were fine, but along the line, the marriage became increasingly challenging. From early on, intimacy was an issue. She often refused sex, saying she was tired. To reduce tension, I limited my request to once a week — usually Saturday mornings — even though I would have liked more.
She also didn’t cook regularly. I complained several times, especially since I covered about 95% of food and household expenses. Eventually, I got tired of complaining. When we moved to lagos from portharcourt, She once told me she didn’t feel loved and wanted me to do more house chores and take her out more. I tried to adjust — suggested she hired a maid, helped around the house, and made an effort to take her out when possible. Lagos life can be very busy, but I did what I could. Every year for the past four years, I made sure we lodged in a 4- or 5-star hotel for a few days as a couple. She went on vacation to dubai 2 years ago. But she often said I was doing it “for the family (children), not for her.” That she wants her own treatment.


At one point, after a serious conflict, I took her to her father’s house and told him that we didn’t love each other anymore. During the mediation, she played the victim at first, crying. But when her father tried to correct her, she suddenly became defensive and started yelling — even at him. Her father was shocked and had to calm the situation. He later told us something that stuck with me: “You two talk, but you don’t communicate.” Since then, I’ve tried to improve our communication, but it feels like my wife has given up on the marriage.

In the past year, things have gotten worse. Any small thing I say seems to anger her. She interprets normal conversations as arguments and shuts down. I have become conscious of it and tell her not to raise her voice and try to match her voice tone. She’s not open to resolving conflicts. I honestly believe she no longer loves me — she resents me. She gets angry easily, often over nothing. We barely talk deeply anymore. Most of our conversations are shallow. I try to initiate discussions, but she’s either uninterested, on her phone, or just cold.

She no longer sleeps in the same bed with me, claiming back and neck pain. I’ve offered to buy a new mattress or switch beds, but she’s not interested. As a result, our sex life has deteriorated — we’re down to about once in three weeks, and even that comes with tension. Even to approach her now comes with alot of hesitation and fear of rejection. Recently, when I tried to be intimate, she got angry, accused me of hurting her breast, even though she was the one preventing me, she then walked away. That led to another quarrel. It’s extremely frustrating to feel rejected repeatedly, especially after weeks of restraint.

Even minor things turn into big arguments. For example, I once told her not to pour water into the griller after cooking because it could cause rust. Her reaction was explosive — she shouted that she’d never wash the oven again and that I should do it myself, going forward. I felt asked was she was yelling. I tried to calmly explain, but she kept escalating, I must wash it, if she cooks the food, i must wash the burner. It dawned on me that she no longer sees or appreciates what I do in the house. Despite being the main provider, I still handle more than 50% of household chores — I wash dishes, vacuum, clean toilets, take the boys to school, iron everyone cloth etc. She mainly cooks, bathes the kids, and does laundry. I told her I do as much chores and she is in no position to dictate to me, no big deal in washing the burner but she needs to be polite. And she should not take me doing chores for granted, I am just supporting her. We both work from home so there is no stress of commuting to work etc

She acts like she’s disgusted by me. She avoids sitting near me, doesn’t want me to touch her, and even turns her face away when I try to kiss her. If she is sitting on a chair, if i come sit on that chair she will use style and go to the room. It is either my mouth smells or my tummy is big. I am relative fit, not a 6 packs man o. I go just swallow these things. Nothing wrong in feedback, but the way and manner she gives it is not fine. Never ever body shamed her. One day she told me, sabi I was almost calling of the marriage while we were engaged, why did I marry her? I was shocked. It was something I didnt remember doing. It just shocks me to know how unforgiving a woman can be, and what goes through their mind.

When I try to talk things through, she ignores me or gives cold replies. I’ve even sent messages on WhatsApp just to get through to her — she either ignores them or replies with things like, “You win.” We don’t walk together anymore — she either walks ahead or rushes off.

One day I even begged her to forgive and forget whatever I might have done, even if I didn’t know what it was. But things only seem to get worse. We relocated to the UK last year, and I thank God I have a good job that helps me support the home. Honestly, I feel that’s the only reason she’s still around. My spirit tells me that if I ever lose this job, I might lose my home too. Or she is just waiting for the kids to be of age.

I’ve tried to make things better — bought her gifts (including a Samsung S24 for her birthday), taken her and the kids to the cinema, arcade, amusement park, and more. She enjoys these things, but there’s no real change. Even told her to tell me what she wants. The only area I think I need to still work on is the pray more with the family. She says she wants me to pray more with her and the children. I admit it an area I need to work on.

No one is perfect, neither am I or expecting my wife to be. I know I’m a good husband and a great father, But it feels like she’s emotionally checked out. Divorce is never in my mind because I come from a Christian home, and I care deeply about my kids and even her. I still believe any marriage can work if both partners are willing to try. But right now, I’m just tired. It’s painful when you want to communicate, but the other person refuses. She’s grown cold, distant, and resentful. When she cooks, I can see the resentment in her eyes, she is not happy doing it. It is like she went into the marriage with certain expectation and it doesnt look like I am meeting them. I have tried to ask, what can i do, teach me to love you. Tell me what you wants, for where? she will just lock up.

She has good qualities — she’s spiritual, beautiful, ambitious, serious-minded, she takes good care of the kids, she has introduced my children to God and prays with them. But emotionally, it feels like she’s no longer in the marriage. I’m just frustrated and honestly don’t know what else to do. I’m not perfect, but I’ve been faithful, responsible, and patient.

At this point, I just needed to vent. Maybe someone out there has gone through something similar and found a way forward.

Obin ni o, Ogbon mon, Oti gbon tan. Ko gbon tan, Ohun ni fin soro ni e fi binu... Ohun ni mon fi ronu... O o ninu... Ko gbon mon...

dipset01:
I honestly feel very frustrated and just need to get this off my chest. I now understand what people mean when they say, “Don’t marry the wrong spouse.”

At this point, I just needed to vent. Maybe someone out there has gone through something similar and found a way forward.

I have seen very similar stories among Nigerian Marriages. The verdict in all those cases is this. THE WOMAN DID NOT LIKE THE MAN PHYSICALLY and PERSONALITY WISE.

This woman never loved you, she doesn't love you and she will NEVER love you.

Nothing you will do to change it. You can even kill yourself for her, she will not still love you.

Solution: Forget the marriage, forget the woman, prepare for divorce, because it is coming. Enjoy your life, get a side chick if you want and live your life to the fullest. It is only one life.

Update: I had to go over your past posts to profile you financially. You were well okay financially in Nigeria and relatively okay in the UK too.

Based on this, I can tell you for sure, that woman NEVER loved you. She only married you because of financial benefits you bring. Many of such marriages are common in Nigeria. Financial marriages. The women loved another man that is not ready or not interested in marrying them and they will settle for a nice and financially capable man for "taking care" of them in the name of marriage.

Once in the loveless marriage, they behave exactly the way your wife behaves.

And you still carry the woman go UK with all the troubles she was giving you in Nigeria?

Anyway, start preparing for divorce. Talk to men that have done divorce in the UK on how to minimize your financial loss during the process.

Helpout12345:
I have seen very similar stories among Nigerian Marriages. The verdict in all those cases is this. THE WOMAN DID NOT LIKE THE MAN PHYSICALLY and PERSONALITY WISE.

This woman never loved you, she doesn't love you and she will NEVER love you.

Nothing you will do to change it. You can even kill yourself for her, she will not still love you.

Solution: Forget the marriage, forget the woman, prepare for divorce, because it is coming. Enjoy your life, get a side chick if you want and live your life to the fullest. It is only one life.

Update: I had to go over your past posts to profile you financially. You were well okay financially in Nigeria and relatively okay in the UK too.

Based on this, I can tell you for sure, that woman NEVER loved you. She only married you because of financial benefits you bring. Many of such marriages are common in Nigeria. Financial marriages. The women loved another man that is not ready or not interested in marrying them and they will settle for a nice and financially capable man for "taking care" of them in the name of marriage.

Once in the loveless marriage, they behave exactly the way your wife behaves.

How can I know if a woman loves me...? Kobojunkie...

Emmanuel30a:
➜How can I know if a woman loves me...?

The same way a woman cannot really know a man who loves her unless every one of his actions shows it— basically, his actions up completely with his words.

But anyway, I don't buy the "marrying wrong" theory since change is a constant with humans.

Kobojunkie:
The same way a woman cannot really know a man who loves her until his actions show it.

Kobojunkie, how would I know if or when you loves me...?

Kobojunkie:
The same way a woman cannot really know a man who loves her unless every one of his actions shows it— basically, his actions up completely with his words.

But anyway, I don't buy the "marrying wrong" theory since change is a constant with humans.

What would you do for me or to me, if or when you loves me...?

Emmanuel30a:
➜What would you do for me or to me, if or when you loves me...?

That depends on the particular contract between the two individuals in the relationship. So, you would have to work with your partner to resolve the meaning of love in your particular situation.

Emmanuel30a:
How can I know if a woman loves me...? Kobojunkie...

It is very easy for a financially struggling man to know a woman that loves him. This is because women avoid poor men like a disease. If you are financially struggling, any woman that stays with you even when she has other better men loves you.

It's more difficult for a financially stable man to know a woman that truly loves him because all women want a financially stable man. These are some tips

1. She must not be very low compared to you financially or in status.
2. Get to know her perspectives, personality through her social media or forums comments and activities, compare those to your personality.
3. Don't spend money on her. Even if you have, starve her of the money to see her reactions.
5. Fake financial troubles to see her reactions to you and the relationship.
6. Fake other life problems to see how she treats you or supports you.
7. Watch her behavior to you when you have misunderstanding or she is angry. Anger takes away pretense.
8. Bring difficult life stories up as discussion, don't judge her comments or reactions to her face. Just observe her reactions and comments.
9. Watch her body language, happiness or sadness around you, when you touch her, when you talk to her etc.

The day my wife yelled at me,she regretted ever doing that.I dealt with her seriously.She pleaded with tears and I was unable to forgive her for 5 years.It took the pleading of my parents and hers for me to forgive her

ChybuzzDD:
Once i saw UK, I knew the guy is gone.
bleeped up guy!

I swear,,the way I scream,my wife started staring at me and was asking what is the problem

Kobojunkie:
1. The literal suffering of your mothers and sisters is not suffering but nature? WOW!

2. Well, I am glad women are no longer investing their lives in these so-called relationships that last.

3. I am glad women are finally realizing that it is worthless and of no benefit for them to carry these emotional burdens all by themselves.

4. Again, I am glad many women are no longer looking to bear the emotional and physical labor of making relationships last. I am happy they are finally making sure to walk out when they realize what they have been blindly doing to themselves.

Like I said it's my opinion and it's based on real people experience in relationships and marriage. You don't have to like or accept it.
Those who have ears let them hear.

But I'm glad that you are glad. Cheers!

dipset01:
I honestly feel very frustrated and just need to get this off my chest. I now understand what people mean when they say, “Don’t marry the wrong spouse.” Brethren, I think I may have gotten this one wrong.

My wife and I have been married for seven years. I was 28 when we got married, and she was 22. In the beginning, things were fine, but along the line, the marriage became increasingly challenging. From early on, intimacy was an issue. She often refused sex, saying she was tired. To reduce tension, I limited my request to once a week — usually Saturday mornings — even though I would have liked more.
She also didn’t cook regularly. I complained several times, especially since I covered about 95% of food and household expenses. Eventually, I got tired of complaining. When we moved to lagos from portharcourt, She once told me she didn’t feel loved and wanted me to do more house chores and take her out more. I tried to adjust — suggested she hired a maid, helped around the house, and made an effort to take her out when possible. Lagos life can be very busy, but I did what I could. Every year for the past four years, I made sure we lodged in a 4- or 5-star hotel for a few days as a couple. She went on vacation to dubai 2 years ago. But she often said I was doing it “for the family (children), not for her.” That she wants her own treatment.


At one point, after a serious conflict, I took her to her father’s house and told him that we didn’t love each other anymore. During the mediation, she played the victim at first, crying. But when her father tried to correct her, she suddenly became defensive and started yelling — even at him. Her father was shocked and had to calm the situation. He later told us something that stuck with me: “You two talk, but you don’t communicate.” Since then, I’ve tried to improve our communication, but it feels like my wife has given up on the marriage.

In the past year, things have gotten worse. Any small thing I say seems to anger her. She interprets normal conversations as arguments and shuts down. I have become conscious of it and tell her not to raise her voice and try to match her voice tone. She’s not open to resolving conflicts. I honestly believe she no longer loves me — she resents me. She gets angry easily, often over nothing. We barely talk deeply anymore. Most of our conversations are shallow. I try to initiate discussions, but she’s either uninterested, on her phone, or just cold.

She no longer sleeps in the same bed with me, claiming back and neck pain. I’ve offered to buy a new mattress or switch beds, but she’s not interested. As a result, our sex life has deteriorated — we’re down to about once in three weeks, and even that comes with tension. Even to approach her now comes with alot of hesitation and fear of rejection. Recently, when I tried to be intimate, she got angry, accused me of hurting her breast, even though she was the one preventing me, she then walked away. That led to another quarrel. It’s extremely frustrating to feel rejected repeatedly, especially after weeks of restraint.

Even minor things turn into big arguments. For example, I once told her not to pour water into the griller after cooking because it could cause rust. Her reaction was explosive — she shouted that she’d never wash the oven again and that I should do it myself, going forward. I felt asked was she was yelling. I tried to calmly explain, but she kept escalating, I must wash it, if she cooks the food, i must wash the burner. It dawned on me that she no longer sees or appreciates what I do in the house. Despite being the main provider, I still handle more than 50% of household chores — I wash dishes, vacuum, clean toilets, take the boys to school, iron everyone cloth etc. She mainly cooks, bathes the kids, and does laundry. I told her I do as much chores and she is in no position to dictate to me, no big deal in washing the burner but she needs to be polite. And she should not take me doing chores for granted, I am just supporting her. We both work from home so there is no stress of commuting to work etc

She acts like she’s disgusted by me. She avoids sitting near me, doesn’t want me to touch her, and even turns her face away when I try to kiss her. If she is sitting on a chair, if i come sit on that chair she will use style and go to the room. It is either my mouth smells or my tummy is big. I am relative fit, not a 6 packs man o. I go just swallow these things. Nothing wrong in feedback, but the way and manner she gives it is not fine. Never ever body shamed her. One day she told me, sabi I was almost calling of the marriage while we were engaged, why did I marry her? I was shocked. It was something I didnt remember doing. It just shocks me to know how unforgiving a woman can be, and what goes through their mind.

When I try to talk things through, she ignores me or gives cold replies. I’ve even sent messages on WhatsApp just to get through to her — she either ignores them or replies with things like, “You win.” We don’t walk together anymore — she either walks ahead or rushes off.

One day I even begged her to forgive and forget whatever I might have done, even if I didn’t know what it was. But things only seem to get worse. We relocated to the UK last year, and I thank God I have a good job that helps me support the home. Honestly, I feel that’s the only reason she’s still around. My spirit tells me that if I ever lose this job, I might lose my home too. Or she is just waiting for the kids to be of age.

I’ve tried to make things better — bought her gifts (including a Samsung S24 for her birthday), taken her and the kids to the cinema, arcade, amusement park, and more. She enjoys these things, but there’s no real change. Even told her to tell me what she wants. The only area I think I need to still work on is the pray more with the family. She says she wants me to pray more with her and the children. I admit it an area I need to work on.

No one is perfect, neither am I or expecting my wife to be. I know I’m a good husband and a great father, But it feels like she’s emotionally checked out. Divorce is never in my mind because I come from a Christian home, and I care deeply about my kids and even her. I still believe any marriage can work if both partners are willing to try. But right now, I’m just tired. It’s painful when you want to communicate, but the other person refuses. She’s grown cold, distant, and resentful. When she cooks, I can see the resentment in her eyes, she is not happy doing it. It is like she went into the marriage with certain expectation and it doesnt look like I am meeting them. I have tried to ask, what can i do, teach me to love you. Tell me what you wants, for where? she will just lock up.

She has good qualities — she’s spiritual, beautiful, ambitious, serious-minded, she takes good care of the kids, she has introduced my children to God and prays with them. But emotionally, it feels like she’s no longer in the marriage. I’m just frustrated and honestly don’t know what else to do. I’m not perfect, but I’ve been faithful, responsible, and patient.

At this point, I just needed to vent. Maybe someone out there has gone through something similar and found a way forward.

In the midst of this u travelled out with this kind of woman or out of Nigeria ? U don't know how to deal with women

You married a female narcissist bro
Run for ur life

dipset01:
I honestly feel very frustrated and just need to get this off my chest. I now understand what people mean when they say, “Don’t marry the wrong spouse.” Brethren, I think I may have gotten this one wrong.

My wife and I have been married for seven years. I was 28 when we got married, and she was 22. In the beginning, things were fine, but along the line, the marriage became increasingly challenging. From early on, intimacy was an issue. She often refused sex, saying she was tired. To reduce tension, I limited my request to once a week — usually Saturday mornings — even though I would have liked more.
She also didn’t cook regularly. I complained several times, especially since I covered about 95% of food and household expenses. Eventually, I got tired of complaining. When we moved to lagos from portharcourt, She once told me she didn’t feel loved and wanted me to do more house chores and take her out more. I tried to adjust — suggested she hired a maid, helped around the house, and made an effort to take her out when possible. Lagos life can be very busy, but I did what I could. Every year for the past four years, I made sure we lodged in a 4- or 5-star hotel for a few days as a couple. She went on vacation to dubai 2 years ago. But she often said I was doing it “for the family (children), not for her.” That she wants her own treatment.


At one point, after a serious conflict, I took her to her father’s house and told him that we didn’t love each other anymore. During the mediation, she played the victim at first, crying. But when her father tried to correct her, she suddenly became defensive and started yelling — even at him. Her father was shocked and had to calm the situation. He later told us something that stuck with me: “You two talk, but you don’t communicate.” Since then, I’ve tried to improve our communication, but it feels like my wife has given up on the marriage.

In the past year, things have gotten worse. Any small thing I say seems to anger her. She interprets normal conversations as arguments and shuts down. I have become conscious of it and tell her not to raise her voice and try to match her voice tone. She’s not open to resolving conflicts. I honestly believe she no longer loves me — she resents me. She gets angry easily, often over nothing. We barely talk deeply anymore. Most of our conversations are shallow. I try to initiate discussions, but she’s either uninterested, on her phone, or just cold.

She no longer sleeps in the same bed with me, claiming back and neck pain. I’ve offered to buy a new mattress or switch beds, but she’s not interested. As a result, our sex life has deteriorated — we’re down to about once in three weeks, and even that comes with tension. Even to approach her now comes with alot of hesitation and fear of rejection. Recently, when I tried to be intimate, she got angry, accused me of hurting her breast, even though she was the one preventing me, she then walked away. That led to another quarrel. It’s extremely frustrating to feel rejected repeatedly, especially after weeks of restraint.

Even minor things turn into big arguments. For example, I once told her not to pour water into the griller after cooking because it could cause rust. Her reaction was explosive — she shouted that she’d never wash the oven again and that I should do it myself, going forward. I felt asked was she was yelling. I tried to calmly explain, but she kept escalating, I must wash it, if she cooks the food, i must wash the burner. It dawned on me that she no longer sees or appreciates what I do in the house. Despite being the main provider, I still handle more than 50% of household chores — I wash dishes, vacuum, clean toilets, take the boys to school, iron everyone cloth etc. She mainly cooks, bathes the kids, and does laundry. I told her I do as much chores and she is in no position to dictate to me, no big deal in washing the burner but she needs to be polite. And she should not take me doing chores for granted, I am just supporting her. We both work from home so there is no stress of commuting to work etc

She acts like she’s disgusted by me. She avoids sitting near me, doesn’t want me to touch her, and even turns her face away when I try to kiss her. If she is sitting on a chair, if i come sit on that chair she will use style and go to the room. It is either my mouth smells or my tummy is big. I am relative fit, not a 6 packs man o. I go just swallow these things. Nothing wrong in feedback, but the way and manner she gives it is not fine. Never ever body shamed her. One day she told me, sabi I was almost calling of the marriage while we were engaged, why did I marry her? I was shocked. It was something I didnt remember doing. It just shocks me to know how unforgiving a woman can be, and what goes through their mind.

When I try to talk things through, she ignores me or gives cold replies. I’ve even sent messages on WhatsApp just to get through to her — she either ignores them or replies with things like, “You win.” We don’t walk together anymore — she either walks ahead or rushes off.

One day I even begged her to forgive and forget whatever I might have done, even if I didn’t know what it was. But things only seem to get worse. We relocated to the UK last year, and I thank God I have a good job that helps me support the home. Honestly, I feel that’s the only reason she’s still around. My spirit tells me that if I ever lose this job, I might lose my home too. Or she is just waiting for the kids to be of age.

I’ve tried to make things better — bought her gifts (including a Samsung S24 for her birthday), taken her and the kids to the cinema, arcade, amusement park, and more. She enjoys these things, but there’s no real change. Even told her to tell me what she wants. The only area I think I need to still work on is the pray more with the family. She says she wants me to pray more with her and the children. I admit it an area I need to work on.

No one is perfect, neither am I or expecting my wife to be. I know I’m a good husband and a great father, But it feels like she’s emotionally checked out. Divorce is never in my mind because I come from a Christian home, and I care deeply about my kids and even her. I still believe any marriage can work if both partners are willing to try. But right now, I’m just tired. It’s painful when you want to communicate, but the other person refuses. She’s grown cold, distant, and resentful. When she cooks, I can see the resentment in her eyes, she is not happy doing it. It is like she went into the marriage with certain expectation and it doesnt look like I am meeting them. I have tried to ask, what can i do, teach me to love you. Tell me what you wants, for where? she will just lock up.

She has good qualities — she’s spiritual, beautiful, ambitious, serious-minded, she takes good care of the kids, she has introduced my children to God and prays with them. But emotionally, it feels like she’s no longer in the marriage. I’m just frustrated and honestly don’t know what else to do. I’m not perfect, but I’ve been faithful, responsible, and patient.

At this point, I just needed to vent. Maybe someone out there has gone through something similar and found a way forward.

Jman06:
This is why it is important for men to check the family background of a lady before marrying her especially her mother's lifestyle!

^^^
Ignore this advice at your peril.

peanutbutterr:
This story is so fake.

^^^
It may well be.

The terrible thing about this life is that there are true marriage stories that are 10 times worse.

emmaodet:
Never beg a woman when you know you are doing the right thing, it will only get worse.

She will drain your soul. By the time she is done with you, your self esteem will be so so low, you will be total used up and drained emotionally, psychologically and mentally drained.

And guess what? She will still spit you out

^^^
Nothing more to add.

dipset01:
I honestly feel very frustrated and just need to get this off my chest. I now understand what people mean when they say, “Don’t marry the wrong spouse.” Brethren, I think I may have gotten this one wrong.

You didn’t marry the wrong spouse, you have simply lost control of ur life n ur home. U say u are relatively fit, look urself for mirror do u feel sexy or attractive. Stop seeking for her validation u appear weak as a man, African women exploit weak men. Westerners value vulnerability in a man and encourage men being softer not our African wives n sisters.
Oga register for gym, one hour daily can be morning before work or evenings after work. Buy nicer clothes, nice perfumes, go out more by yourself or with responsible friends. If u are cool to tattoos get nice looking ones, fix your teeth, keep a neat facial hair, improve ur self esteem, let her be don’t stress or fret, direct the love u feel for her towards the kids and on yourself.

Trust me stop being the attention seeker or emotional dependent on her, it’s her role you’re currently doing. Just focus on yourself for 2-4 weeks, I promise u will see her seeking ur attention with fights at first then genuine curiosity if you are seeing someone else then finally submission. Don’t stop what you’re doing even if she give u small one round do, it’s meant to break ur routine n bring u back to her whims. Chop the one round clean mouth and double the effort on yourself. Infact if she comes first for intimacy tell her you’re not interested in sex for now, you’re good.
You’re the one making this money, invest in yourself too. This was my biggest marital mistake failing to invest also in myself, it was always my kids n my wife they must have the best even if I’m deprived of basic things.