₦airaland Forum

natedensel:
My mum died not long ago, and my dad has a hand in her demise because her marriage was a turbulent one and she died of HBP, now shortly after she died, my dad came along with one woman who is very bold and shameless, first off she already has children from another fling not marriage, and now she comes and sleeps over, infact she's not discreet about it she's bold, brazen and doesn't feel ashamed of what she's doing.

Recently she has gotten more relaxed , she used to mind her business, she comes and do her thing and leaves, now she overstays, and she's now meddling in our family affairs, trying to mom me and my siblings now, then turning our dad away from us, now my dad sponsors her and her child from another relationship but neglects us like he did our mom.

I could easily make life miserable for her but I am not interested because I'm moving out as soon as possible, but what about my siblings, she has taken over everything and now she's my father's voice.

dont tolerate nonsense from her. try and get copies of all landed assets. she will kill your father and flee with properties. am in same position now

ThinkWISELY:
This is terrible. Abeg make perosn ask for my aza na.... hunger wan paaai me here...

Pity me

If you receive ask for my own too

LofP:
➜ In matters like this, you have to man up. Forget about the woman, concentrate on your dad. He may have been jazzed or he may be under a spell, or just under the influence of great sex. But that statement that he's treating you like he treated your mother raises some suspicion.
➜ If they can try to lock a 20 year old with jazz, they can definitely do the same to an older man with cash. Don't get confrontational with your dad, but investigate the matter. This is Africa!

Do not lie to the @OP. There is nothing like Jazz in any of this. Jazz has nothing to do with his father's behavior and that woman being in the house with them.

2. These behaviors are observed in men in advanced countries where jazz is nonexistent. Human behavior has nothing to do with jazz as you will find it anywhere you have humans.

Lekby25:
There is a very serious problem here, if your father and you never step into a church. You better go and give your life to Jesus first, then accept Him as your Lord and Saviour, build yourself up spiritually before concerning yourself with family matters, or else you are risking your life.

Jesus isn't my concern now, na physical battle I dey fight rn due to this woman and her encroachment tactic, she might unalive my dad and move everything soon.

she comes and do her thing and leaves"

Pls explain,
Or you mean she .....
I no go like conclude.

Omoawoke:
Most people that die untimely death is due to marriage

Nothing else takes the life of a man faster other than a bad marriage. And most men that fail in life are as a result of bad marriage

gabbytabby:
She is probably the one financing your dad.

lol, wtf, no bro, she's not financing my dad, my dad is super stingy now since she came into the pic, and she has managed to upgrade her status obviously and she ain't hiding it, what are you even saying.

Kobojunkie:
Do not lie to the @OP. There is nothing like Jazz in any of this. Jazz has nothing to do with his father's behavior and that woman being in the house with them.

2. These behaviors are observed in men in advanced countries where jazz is nonexistent. Human behavior has nothing to do with jazz as you will find it anywhere you have humans.

Kobo, please sit this out please? Thank you.

GenFunction:
she comes and do her thing and leaves"

Pls explain,
Or you mean she .....
I no go like conclude.

She comes, get plunked and leaves, no one cares, now she's a live in love peddler.

Dont be selfish. You are not leaving your siblings and moving nowhere. You have to stay, team up with your siblings and show her hell till she leaves the house. Thats what your mother's spirit will be happy for

LofP:
➜Kobo, please sit this out please? Thank you.

Stop spewing lies!

Your father is a fuuul. I lost my wife since 2019 and all the ladies I've dated know they can't try nonsense with my daughter . Na only mumu dey allow a woman to manipulate him over his own child . I can remain without a woman for life just to protect my beloved daughter, my daughter is my blood , so I can't allow any bagger to play with my own blood . Never . Your papa needs serious beating for being a mumu man

opanco:
Dont be selfish. You are not leaving your siblings and moving nowhere. You have to stay, team up with your siblings and show her hell till she leaves the house. Thats what your mother's spirit will be happy for

I'm just a guy finding my feet, I barely even got started, what resources do I have to adopt all my siblings, no be suffering I wan bring upon myself.

Sorry my guy, but your father needs a woman now.you must understand his needs and respect his choice. Your mum is no more and your father still need sex and companionship.if your father is without a woman, he may have prostate in the next two years.most men with Prostate are men who delayed getting married and did not have sex , those who did not marry again after they lose their wife and did not have sex. If you want your father to be alive avoid sentiment and allow him get married. But if you want him dead then continue hindering him. I advise you to leave them alone.

Kobojunkie:
I am sorry, but why are you vindictively attacking the woman when the person who is destroying your family unit is not the woman but your father?

Your father chose this woman, allowed her to move herself and her children into your lives. The freedom the woman has in your lives is authorized by your father. So, what are you attacking and demeaning her for when all she does is as allowed by your very own father, whom you seem to think needs to be saved by you when in reality he is the very core of the problem you claim to have with this woman?

Kobojonkie why u never marry?
fulltime nairaland resident

As it stands today, if anything happens to your dad, are you the next of kin?

natedensel:
I'm just a guy finding my feet, I barely even got started, what resources do I have to adopt all my siblings, no be suffering I wan bring upon myself.

Lemme advise you from experience. Bro leave this house. Even if it means squatting with your uncles for now. I wish I could reveal more cos I know the feeling
Leave your siblings and find your way out first then come back for them. A blind man doesn’t lead a blind man out of the pit.

If you challenge or talk to him, you’ll just be worsening things. Especially if he’s an egoistical man
Anything you say will be used against you and both of them will make the house unbearable for you
😩
🚶‍♂️

natedensel:
My mum died not long ago, and my dad has a hand in her demise because her marriage was a turbulent one and she died of HBP, now shortly after she died, my dad came along with one woman who is very bold and shameless, first off she already has children from another fling not marriage, and now she comes and sleeps over, infact she's not discreet about it she's bold, brazen and doesn't feel ashamed of what she's doing.

Recently she has gotten more relaxed , she used to mind her business, she comes and do her thing and leaves, now she overstays, and she's now meddling in our family affairs, trying to mom me and my siblings now, then turning our dad away from us, now my dad sponsors her and her child from another relationship but neglects us like he did our mom.

I could easily make life miserable for her but I am not interested because I'm moving out as soon as possible, but what about my siblings, she has taken over everything and now she's my father's voice.

You might not like what I will say. She is not shameless . She is dating a widower and she is just doing what any woman would do with a man she is dating .

Your issue is with your dad . Not her . Infact if your dad is truly turbulent , she will meet her own in front. Your reaction is normal though.

This moment in your life — as ugly, unfair, and heartbreaking as it is — won’t define the rest of your story. Families break, people fail us, and love can feel hijacked, but your identity is not wrapped up in your father's failures or this woman's presence.

Your role now is to:

Protect your own heart.

Stay emotionally available to your siblings.

Choose peace over revenge — not because she deserves peace, but because YOU do.


You are showing more maturity, emotional intelligence, and strength than most adults would in this situation. And that says something powerful about who you're becoming — not in spite of this, but because of it.

If you ever want help planning how to talk to your dad (if that’s a road you want to take), or help navigating boundaries after you move out, I’ve got you.

You're not alone in this.

natedensel:
My mum died not long ago, and my dad has a hand in her demise because her marriage was a turbulent one and she died of HBP, now shortly after she died, my dad came along with one woman who is very bold and shameless, first off she already has children from another fling not marriage, and now she comes and sleeps over, infact she's not discreet about it she's bold, brazen and doesn't feel ashamed of what she's doing.

Recently she has gotten more relaxed , she used to mind her business, she comes and do her thing and leaves, now she overstays, and she's now meddling in our family affairs, trying to mom me and my siblings now, then turning our dad away from us, now my dad sponsors her and her child from another relationship but neglects us like he did our mom.

I could easily make life miserable for her but I am not interested because I'm moving out as soon as possible, but what about my siblings, she has taken over everything and now she's my father's voice.

Hmmm...this took me back. Way back. Many many many years ago, looks like another lifetime, a family meeting was called "on our head", my husband was told by his family that I was controlling him and they were trying to insult me. My major offence, among others was I didn't allow him marry a second wife.

My husband said, surely they can't blame me? That it's him they should pass all insults to because, it's how I met/found him that I will treat him. I.E insinuating that I met him a dumb person, so Im riding him. Twas his late father's big sister that responded "tufiakwa!", "we didnt raise an idiot!". Reluctant silence all round. End of story.

#TakeHome: 99% of the time, men know what they are doing. They can end the "situation" if they wanted. A lot of time, most of them just leave the woman to the mercy of the families & friends pretending ignorance.

Kobojunkie:
I am sorry, but why are you vindictively attacking the woman when the person who is destroying your family unit is not the woman but your father?

Your father chose this woman, allowed her to move herself and her children into your lives. The freedom the woman has in your lives is authorized by your father. So, what are you attacking and demeaning her for when all she does is as allowed by your very own father, whom you seem to think needs to be saved by you when in reality he is the very core of the problem you claim to have with this woman?

natedensel:
Jesus isn't my concern now, na physical battle I dey fight rn due to this woman and her encroachment tactic, she might unalive my dad and move everything soon.

You are very, very, ignorant. You are fighting a physical battle without a spiritual strength. You are risking your life my dear brother. Do you know how spiritualiy strong that your father's concubine is. With her spiritual strength she has turned your father into her slave, and you are telling me Jesus no be your concern now. Whether Jesus is your concern or not, you will definitely come to this nairaland to say, that is if you are lucky enough. I will not say more than that. Good night

👌🏾👌🏾

iwadobo:
Your father is a fuuul. I lost my wife since 2019 and all the ladies I've dated know they can't try nonsense with my daughter . Na only mumu dey allow a woman to manipulate him over his own child . I can remain without a woman for life just to protect my beloved daughter, my daughter is my blood , so I can't allow any bagger to play with my own blood . Never . Your papa needs serious beating for being a mumu man

Lekby25:
Nothing else takes the life of a man faster other than a bad marriage. And most men that fail in life are as a result of bad marriage

Because that’s who they spend their lives with, exchange fluids with, live with, sleep with, wake up with…
Just imagine the effects and energy

Anybody that marries the wrong person can never make it in life… if they even live long enough to survive it

AngelSlay:
This moment in your life — as ugly, unfair, and heartbreaking as it is — won’t define the rest of your story. Families break, people fail us, and love can feel hijacked, but your identity is not wrapped up in your father's failures or this woman's presence.

Your role now is to:

Protect your own heart.

Stay emotionally available to your siblings.

Choose peace over revenge — not because she deserves peace, but because YOU do.


You are showing more maturity, emotional intelligence, and strength than most adults would in this situation. And that says something powerful about who you're becoming — not in spite of this, but because of it.

If you ever want help planning how to talk to your dad (if that’s a road you want to take), or help navigating boundaries after you move out, I’ve got you.

You're not alone in this.

Wow, I'm not the op but I've been glued to this thread because I also saw something similar happen in the past, and of all the comments in this thread yours is something else, I felt peace reading it, are you a therapist or something.

Arobake:
➜Hmmm...this took me back. Way back. Many many many years ago, looks like another lifetime, a family meeting was called "on our head", my husband was told by his family that I was controlling him and they were trying to insult me. My major offence, among others was I didn't allow him marry a second wife.
My husband said, surely they can't blame me? That it's him they should pass all insults to because, it's how I met/found him that I will treat him. I.E insinuating that I met him a dumb person, so Im riding him. Twas his late father's big sister that responded "tufiakwa!", "we didnt raise an idiot!". Reluctant silence all round. End of story.
#TakeHome: 99% of the time, men know what they are doing. They can end the "situation" if they wanted. A lot of time, most of them just leave the woman to the mercy of the families & friends pretending ignorance.

I suspect OP is a male and does not think his father should be held accountable for his actions/behavior hence the reason he would rather chase down the woman and seek to humiliate her all the while working hard to convince himself he is saving his father, and the family by what are vain actions. 🥱🥱

Lekby25:
➜ You are very, very, ignorant. You are fighting a physical battle without a spiritual strength. You are risking your life my dear brother. Do you know how spiritualiy strong that your father's concubine is. With her spiritual strength she has turned your father into her slave, and you are telling me Jesus no be your concern now. Whether Jesus is your concern or not, you will definitely come to this nairaland to say, that is if you are lucky enough. I will not say more than that. Good night

Stop lying to the @OP, abeg! 🥱🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
This one don delulu finish! 🥱🥱🥱

A woman is morally loose because she is dating your father and has children of her own? Nonsense!

2. Telling @OP to embrace the facts of his reality rather than continue chasing shadows that will lead him nowhere means I am insensitive to his plight? Nonsense! 🥱🥱🥱

You for no answer am joor. According to his write up, It’s obvious his judgement is clouded with sentiments.

natedensel:
The problem is why can't she just LovePeddler herself and leave, why is she now trying to control a family she just invaded few months ago, now she's diverting every support my siblings are supposed to get from their father for her and her child, her grown up teenage child, did you read what I wrote at all? She's now my father's voice like she speaks for him now, isn't it logical to nip this in the bud before it becomes rooted.

Sometimes when people talk , I find it difficult to understand the understanding that they lack the knowledge of what is fighting them...

The deep cause of what is fighting you is not physically manipulated , inshort if you try anything physically, your Father will chase you out of that his house...

You need to go seek for a Greater power, go Spiritual, talk to God in prayers, declare a spiritual war to claim and reclaim your possession in the family , give yourself fasting, check in the bible, Bible verses that deals with manipulation and house hold enemies, and deal with them immediately....

Also know it that the woman has been in the background since, what she gave your Father is not today, she is only manifesting now in the Physical after winning your Father in the Spiritual.... just know you don't have a Father for now but someone manipulated from the dark world....

If you don't know how to pray, go to your Church if they are grounded in prayers and make a request, the fight is not a Physical battle ...you will lose if you fight physically Sir...