₦airaland Forum

Amarachieze:
This is very terrible!
Eyes full of adultery they never stop sinning says the Holy book. How can someone you meet or saw after marriage be "original" while the real wife becomes fake.
Anyways the beautyful ones are not yet born

It is very possible. Holding on tight to a spouse whose eyes are filled with adultery is indicative of knowledge that one is not a real spouse though. It screams of desperation and a desire to be needed no matter the cost. 🥱🥱

Go ask all those people who remained in abusive -- adulterous --- marriages what they gained from their actions? In the end, none gained purpose in life but heartache and heartache which they busies themselves trying to heal from for the rest of their days. 🥱🥱

advanceDNA:
✓ Baba...after the 4 the marriage..they only became more tolerant, considerate, rational and of ofcourse tired of jumping around.....

Tired, you say! Not really! Some continue into the 5th ...whatever it takes. Some discover that being single ain't even half as bad and was maybe what they are wanted all along. Others decide to buckle down and put that energy into finally working on their other dreams in life. 🥱🥱

As long as that energy is not being used towards making the lives of a woman and possibly children miserable in the name of commitment and feigned sanctity of marriage where you have individuals cages in toxic home lives, all is well.

Kobojunkie:
Go tell the many domesticate violence victims out there that they the one they married is the real one naw! Explain to them how their other spouse taking out anger, regret and frustration of not being with the love truly loved on them makes them the real love. 🥱🥱🥱

Before you respond, there are also many men caught in DV marriages too. 🥱🥱🥱

If you don't want to stay in your husband house don't marry, You will always meet men better, more mature and more handsome than your spouse likewise your spouse too will always meet women prettier and better than you and it doesn't mean you are fake to him, know this and know peace

advanceDNA:
Anybody meeting their "original" partner after getting married to someone else is just greedy ..their eyes is still in the street...

..u will.meet many more fine pple after u get married......face ur marriage...... Na because u never start to dey live with them they look like the best spouse

I agree with u 💯 but some people change after they get married or being in a relationship either the man or d woman maybe d man treat d woman bad like man beater or irresponsible if that kind of woman later met a man that cherished and treat her good if that kind woman later be in a relationship with him I don’t think that’s cheating but as long as the first man love her wholeheartedly and she met another man that also love her and accept him that’s cheating

Lamasta:
✓ If you don't want to stay in your husband house don't marry , You will always meet men better, more mature and more handsome than your spouse likewise your spouse too will always meet women prettier and better than you and it doesn't mean you are fake to him, know this and know peace

Do I read a confession from you there that the one you married is not the one you love but rather the one you settled for? 🥱🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
Do I read a confession from you there that the one you married is not the one you love but rather the one you settled for? 🥱🥱🥱

I've passed my message

Lamasta:
✓ I've passed my message

And your message is that you settled in marriage and you want others to equally settle in marriage alongside you, abi? I fought anyone would like to remain in marriage knowing he/she was not the only loved but instead the one settled for. It is a cruel life to live. 🥱

U cant know for sure until you've lived under same roof for some a while

theophorus:
Oshey!
So if after the second marriage, You meet someone who you better again, you will leave and then you meet another who fit you better again... then you keep moving abi?

Walahi! This thing make sense ooo.

#When we dont know the meaning of Commitment.

Ask Donald Trump and tiud get the correct answer baaed on his experience.

advanceDNA:
Anybody meeting their "original" partner after getting married to someone else is just greedy ..their eyes is still in the street...

..u will.meet many more fine pple after u get married......face ur marriage...... Na because u never start to dey live with them they look like the best spouse

Oga you be carpenter? how you take hit the nail for head like that straight.

axglide:
We are to love who we marry not to marry who we love.

Ayam not understanding...

Kobojunkie:
While on the surface, it may seem selfish, it isn't right to turn marriage into some sort of hostage situation for your partner. As the other partner, you do yourself absolutely no good trying to hold on to someone who does not love or value you in a relationship. (It should really gross you out that you are in a relationship with someone whose heart is already elsewhere.) If he/she wishes to leave, let him leave. It isn't necessary to guilt him/her into staying, nor is it sensible to try to force him/her to stay, as that only makes one into some sort of monster and not a partner.

It is better to leave the marriage completely once one realizes one no longer has happiness or joy to find within it, than to remain and have the other spouse waste his/her life dedicated to a partner whose heart and mind are elsewhere. And worse, have the children grow up watching their parents live unhappily and miserably, thinking themselves partly to blame for it. It is wrong and should not be condoned, no matter what.

It's simply a lack of commitment that makes the grass always look greener from afar. If you water you own garden it will be green like others. If you fail to water your own garden and keep eyeing your neighbour's garden your long throat will never end.

If after the 2nd partner you meet the next best one, I hope you will also advice the partner to move and not be caged and on and on it goes

cutecommend:
It is possible to see the best spouse for you after you are Married, but you just have to love the one you are already married to and move on.

By natural virtue man can still marry the original spouse but not divorce the first and must treat her well with the dignity of being the First m

cutecommend:
It is possible to see the best spouse for you after you are Married, but you just have to love the one you are already married to and move on.

One reason why I can never subscribe to the the concept of marriage or monogamous relationship.

advanceDNA:
Anybody meeting their "original" partner after getting married to someone else is just greedy ..their eyes is still in the street...

..u will.meet many more fine pple after u get married......face ur marriage...... Na because u never start to dey live with them they look like the best spouse

Not so man. Many people are married to the wrong partners. No chemistry, no cohesion, just like they are married to strangers.

DMCA:
caaz go just d regret now

Make the old cargo rest

kingthreat:
Not so man. Many people are married to the wrong partners. No chemistry, no cohesion, just like they are married to strangers.

How did u marry a stranger with no chemistry, no cohesion in the first place?? Was it arranged marriage...una eyes nor just dey one place...na another person woman una dey get chemistry with

PHIPEX:
➜It's simply a lack of commitment that makes the grace always look greener from afar. Of you water you own garden it will.be green like others.
➜ If you fail to water your own garden and keep eyeing your neighbour's garden your long throat will never end.
➜ If after the 2nd partner you meet the next best one, I[b] hope you will also advice the partner to move and not be caged and on and on it goes[/b]

1. You mean the man who regularly violently abuses his wife for not being as pretty as he would have wanted or dainty as the lady he would have preferred is better for it because of his supposed commitment to making life a living hell for the wife whom he does not love?

You mean like the man who cheats without remorse on the wife who spends any free time she has praying for him to change, while every time he sees her, he sees the regret that he settled for her rather than waiting for the woman he would have loved to her, is better off as he is because he is at least commited as an abuser of his wife? (Cheating is also abuse.) And his children are happier for it that their father is a community dick rather than a father who divorced their mother, abi? That is the kind of commitment you are talking to us about, right?

2. Don't follow your desires because you are afraid your long throat will never end, so remain in a loveless marriage, caging your spouse into a miserable existence for it, and your children are left always wondering if they are the reason why their parents were never able to find happiness in marriage, abi?

3. Some people didn't find what they were looking for until after their fourth or fifth marriages. One thing is that it is better to move on to the next partner — free your spouse from the cage that is life in a loveless, potentially toxic marriage —and go find your peace/happiness wherever it may lie. You have only one life; it is better to leave free as a bird than as a caged and miserable swallow.

Kobojunkie:
Tired, you say! Not really! Some continue into the 5th ...whatever it takes. Some discover that being single ain't even half as bad and was maybe what they are wanted all along. Others decide to buckle down and put that energy into finally working on their other dreams in life. 🥱🥱

As long as that energy is not being used towards making the lives of a woman and possibly children miserable in the name of commitment and feigned sanctity of marriage where you have individuals cages in toxic home lives, all is well.

By the time u have gotten to the 4th or 5th marriage and still moving , u should realize by then, u also have issues.....
The problem with y'all is it's everyone else is at fault but yourself....

advanceDNA:
➜By the time u have gotten to the 4th or 5th marriage and still moving , u should realize by then, u also have issues..... The problem with y'all is it's everyone else's but yourself....

Storyteller! 🥱🥱🥱

I know people who are already on their 5th and their mental health is doing good for it, too. As a matter of fact, all of their exes and children are even happier man who remained in the same marriage for over 30 years, inflicting his wife and children with his toxicity and regret throughout. Yeah, there are many examples of folks who are better off because they escaped a loveless marriage, than remain miserable and worse, tools of torture to their children and spouse as a result.

The long and short is that it is NEVER OK to remain in a loveless/unfulfilling marriage. It is exponentially better for you to continue seeking your happiness outside of marriage than to remain and weaponize marriage as a torture chamber of sorts against those whom you have decided to blame for your unhappiness and miserable existence— all of which is in fact due to your choices. No one deserves your toxicity, your abuse, or miserable existence, not even the one you are married to.

cutecommend:
It is possible to see the best spouse for you after you are Married, but you just have to love the one you are already married to and move on.

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS “ORIGINAL PARTNER”.

It is all nonsense . There is no “Match made in heaven”. It is all nonsense as well. There is no ''bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh'' nonsense either. Humans just like to create, curate and attach feelings and fantasies to something to give it more value than it has or to make it generally acceptable.

We are trying to run away from the responsibility of picking our mate and spouses properly. As usual, lazily waiting on God to come perform magic instead of understanding that:

1. No human being is perfect
2. We can only apply personal responsibility to the limits of human intelligence. We can only do our best.
3. At times our best is not enough and we are not guaranteed anything. You can be good to him/her and he/she pays you back in evil and cheating and wickedness.

There are one thousand women that will make me good wives. Just as, there are many men that can make good husbands to your wife. Time and chance brought you together. Make the best of it. Things will be less interesting in marriage. Things will be more stressful. Challenges and quarrels and disagreements will come. You will fight, hate each other. You will come to strongly hate the same thing that made you like each other in the past. Yes. The very thing that made you fall in love with her (e.g. ''oh she is so quiet she gives me peace'') can be the same thing you hate her for 20 years latter (''she is just there, she is not motivated or driven to assist and support my efforts...how did I marry this person?'').

Stand by each other. Just as you see better women outside and besides your wife, the same way SHE IS ALSO SEEING BETTER, BIGGER, STRONGER, HIGHER VALUE, WEALTHIER MEN than you too. THIS IS A FACT. LIVE WITH IT AND DEAL WITH THIS FACT. IF YOU ARE STILL IN FANTASY, THEN REALITY CHECK WILL BE HORRIBLE FOR YOU. Men are not angels...Women are not either. It is just that men control the world and for a long time women had to pretend that they were these saints and angels who didn't have kinks, fetishes, fantasies or desire for multiple men etc. Women like variety too. They want the bad boy when they are ovulating and the father figure when their hormones are not raging wild. Women (They) are just smart about. They hide these traits very well because the society expected, trained, mandated and imposed this on them. In fact, society once forced them to marry a man they didn't want. BUT THIS HAS SINCE CHANGED. NOW WITH MODERNIZATION HAS COME THE TRUE NATURE OF WOMEN. Women if allowed will mostly only pick men who are better than them. So there is no Original anything. The problem for them is that the higher they date up the success ladder, the lesser the number of quality men in the next upper level, leaving all/most women chasing few men and the men seeing this use them to their fill.

But for me, I will not get married. I date and when I feel the relationship is getting too cold and there is no passion, I quietly break off the relationship. This is mentioned right at the beginning of the relationship- The fact that I am not dating towards marriage. I am dating for mutual companionship, passionate experience, mutual support, mutual nurturing, etc.

advanceDNA:
Anybody meeting their "original" partner after getting married to someone else is just greedy ..their eyes is still in the street...

..u will.meet many more fine pple after u get married......face ur marriage...... Na because u never start to dey live with them they look like the best spouse

Why did the ' for better for worse' end with that binding kiss.
I really ask myself whether im doing the right thing.....
I tell her I Love Her even wen she effs.
Its been her over 15 years

Kobojunkie:
Storyteller! 🥱🥱🥱

I

U are the one telling stories of knowing people jumping from one marriage to another even to the fifth .....but I am the story teller...

.hahahaha...anyways birds of the same feather flocks together ...on a normal day u no kukuma n0rmal so it's a broken arrow exchanging with you

Kobojunkie:
It is very possible. Holding on tight to a spouse whose eyes are filled with adultery is indicative of knowledge that one is not a real spouse though. It screams of desperation and a desire to be needed no matter the cost. 🥱🥱

Go ask all those people who remained in abusive -- adulterous --- marriages what they gained from their actions? In the end, none gained purpose in life but heartache and heartache which they busies themselves trying to heal from for the rest of their days. 🥱🥱

I don't have problem with one leaving anyone who chooses to leave any toxic relationship including marriage.
However the term "original" is what I don't understand. If a one makes mistakes in choice of a partner does it imply the woman is not original wife? How can the second be original and the first fake?

advanceDNA:
➜U are the one telling stories of knowing people jumping from one marriage to another even to the fifth .....but I am the story teller...
.hahahaha...anyways birds of the same feather flocks together ...on a normal day u no kukuma n0rmal so it's a broken arrow exchanging with you

I didn't tell any stories since there are lots of examples out there today of these things for even the most religious to see and realize that there is nothing to gain in holding on to that which is dead(it only turns putrid and toxic after that).

Amarachieze:
➜I don't have problem with one leaving anyone who chooses to leave any toxic relationship including marriage.
However the term "original" is what I don't understand. If a one makes mistakes in choice of a partner does it imply the woman is not original wife? How can the second be original and the first fake?

Terms like "Original", "God's will", "Soul mate", "True love", "Rightful husband/wife", etc., are all false ideas concocted by those within religious/traditional circles. In the world outside of those religious/traditional delusions where all of us— including the religiously deluded— actually live, those terms hold no water — they are meaningless.

2. "To err is human!" We are humans and we make mistakes... we are guaranteed this. For a human to then pretend that is mistakes(which he is almost immediately aware of the moments after making them— the human mind is a wonderful machine in that sense) are somehow sanctioned or, as the religious nut jobs would pretend, made "holy" is to operate one's life on an even greater level of stewpidity than one ever should have to.

There is no original or fake. There is just the first one and the next one after that, and so on. Simple!

Kobojunkie:
Terms like "Original", "God's will", "Soul mate", "True love", "Rightful husband/wife", etc., are all false ideas concocted by those within religious/traditional circles. In the world outside of those religious/traditional delusions where all of us— including the religiously deluded— actually live, those terms hold no water — they are meaningless.

2. "To err is human!" We are humans and we make mistakes... we are guaranteed this. For a human to then pretend that is mistakes(which he is almost immediately aware of the moments after making them— the human mind is a wonderful machine in that sense) are somehow sanctioned or, as the religious nut jobs would pretend, made "holy" is to operate one's life on an even greater level of stewpidity than one ever should have to.

There is no original or fake. There is just the first one and the next one after that, and so on. Simple!

Blah blah blah as usual

Selfishness 101

axglide:
We are to love who we marry not to marry who we love.

Correct, and water drinks not drink water 🤓

advanceDNA:
How did u marry a stranger with no chemistry, no cohesion in the first place?? Was it arranged marriage...una eyes nor just dey one place...na another person woman una dey get chemistry with

I advice people not to marry under pressure. When they do, they are forcing it to work and most likely the other partner is hiding their inner self. But once marriage is in, you cannot keep acting forever, the truth comes out. There are many loveless marriages out there. Not mine, I am just expressing what many people are going through.

cutecommend:
It is possible to see the best spouse for you after you are Married, but you just have to love the one you are already married to and move on.

How would you SEE if you weren't searching for another spouse while married?

What kind of interaction and connection were you building with another person while married, that made you think the grass is greener on their side?

Even if you marry this next person, you would still SEE another because you are simply irresponsible and unfaithful.