₦airaland Forum

Justiceleague1:
➜Were you blindfolded before? Now now now all of a sudden,you feel like eating ofe nsala,edikanIkong,miyanTauche,etc ..you better stick to that okro soup

He is better going off to eat his ofe nsala,edikanIkong,miyanTauche, etc, than to sit, in regular anger, throwing all over his woman serving him okra soup. No one feels good about indigestion. No woman feels loved knowing all she can have is anger and misery, holding on to a man. Let him/her leaf!

Double0h7:
I’ve met a few white women with this exact storyline, and they are happily married to the second person for many years. I think if there’s no children involved in the current marriage, and you meet your soulmate, then it’s probably best to walk away from the current relationship and try again. If there are children involved then it would be selfish to scatter your family for a potential.

How would it even begin between you and this second person who is supposed to be matchmade from heaven and it wouldn't appear like you're already cheating (physically or emotionally) before it would graduate to divorce?

Kobojunkie:
Terms like "Original", "God's will", "Soul mate", "True love", "Rightful husband/wife", etc., are all false ideas concocted by those within religious/traditional circles. In the world outside of those religious/traditional delusions where all of us— including the religiously deluded— actually live, those terms hold no water — they are meaningless.

2. "To err is human!" We are humans and we make mistakes... we are guaranteed this. For a human to then pretend that is mistakes(which he is almost immediately aware of the moments after making them— the human mind is a wonderful machine in that sense) are somehow sanctioned or, as the religious nut jobs would pretend, made "holy" is to operate one's life on an even greater level of stewpidity than one ever should have to.

There is no original or fake. There is just the first one and the next one after that, and so on. Simple!

Original carries the impression of being "first" or "beginnig" not good or bad as people generally believe. Some products may not be the original but at the same time better than the original product.

Kobojunkie:
Dey there dey deceive yourself. There are many more people who found their so-called love of their life after 3 or 4 marriages than those who did it on the first try. Check history and your own ancestors. Many of the ended up abandoning many years ives before finally finding the one they would grow old with. 🥱🥱🥱

They either got old or tired

Amarachieze:
➜Original carries the impression of being "first" or "beginnig" not good or bad as people generally believe. Some products may not be the original but at the same time better than the original product.

That depends, since most people did not marry their first ever girlfriend/boyfriend right off the bat. Many typically test the waters, eventually deciding on settling with the one that remained with them/the one they could settle for, or the one they suppose they love the most out of the rest. So, to me, the term itself makes no sense in this situation unless one is attempting to replace the term "first marriage" with the word "original".

cutecommend:
It is possible to see the best spouse for you after you are Married, but you just have to love the one you are already married to and move on.

Yes, it happens, especially when you were pressured into the existing marriage

kingthreat:
I advice people not to marry under pressure. When they do, they are forcing it to work and most likely the other partner is hiding their inner self. But once marriage is in, you cannot keep acting forever, the truth comes out. There are many loveless marriages out there. Not mine, I am just expressing what many people are going through.

Any marriage that is loveless (apart from arranged marriage or marriage borne out of greed for money) ....is a result of not investing love into the marriage.....
Pple want to start with what they see other have...but the truth is.there is no relationship that start with earth chattering, universe conquering love...,
it's always a long journey of investing into the relationship that gets couples to that kinda love where they become soul mates.


...some persons are not even disciplined to fvck one person, yet want marriage that will last by the effort of their spouse only

Kobojunkie:
That depends, since most people did not marry their first ever girlfriend/boyfriend right off the bat. Many typically test the waters, eventually deciding on settling with the one that remained with them/the one they could settle for, or the one they suppose they love the most out of the rest. So, to me, the term itself makes no sense in this situation unless one is attempting to replace the term "first marriage" with the word "original".

This is what I have been saying. The term doesnt apply
The OP was just regretting marrying someone that is not compatible.
Those of us in religious circle especially Christians refer to such union as being unequally yoked
So if he divorces the incompatible and marries a compatible one it doesn't mean the second is the original wife

Amarachieze:
This is what I have been saying. The term doesnt apply
The OP was just regretting marrying someone that is not compatible.
Those of us in religious circle especially Christians refer to such union as being unequally yoked
So if he divorces the incompatible and marries a compatible one it doesn't mean the second is the original wife

I did not say I am regretting marrying someone. That does not apply to me.

Amarachieze:
➜This is what I have been saying. The term doesnt apply. The OP was just regretting marrying someone that is not compatible. Those of us in religious circle especially Christians refer to such union as being unequally yoked So if he divorces the incompatible and marries a compatible one it doesn't mean the second is the original wife

. Here are two straightforward scenarios for you to analyze and give straightforward answers in response to. 🤔

Scenario A: A pastor married a wife, and after about 5 years of what seemed a loveless union, decided he had found love with another woman — he fell out of love with his wife almost immediately after the marriage. It started with him emotionally cheating on his wife.(He was a pastor with a sleek tongue, so he could explain away even the most awkward of moments with ease.)Eventually, he tagged his wife as a bad woman, and began heaping blame on her in attempts to create a reason for his eventual divorce/abandonment of her and the children she had for him. All this so he could eventually make room for the new woman to come into his life. 😐

Scenario B: A brother-in-the-lord who had been born-again for over 10 years. He fell in love with another lady, but the woman he desired wanted nothing to do with him. She was also in the church, but her eyes were on another man. She later married that other man and had a child with him. Fast forward 3 years, our brother-in-the-lord finally saw himself seeing what he referred to as visions of another woman whom he believed his lord had chosen for him to marry. He and this other woman were asked to enter into prayer, and they came out of it convinced they were meant for each other. The two— our brother-in-the-lord and this other woman who believed they were both right for each other — eventually got married. And no sooner had this happened than all hell broke loose for this new wife. In public, our brother-in-the-lord maintained his spiritual persona, but at home, this man saw his wife as a punching bag for all his shortcomings and lost dreams. He gaslighted his wife into believing his abuse of her was all her fault.

Our brother-in-the-lord is filled with regret and hurt every time he sees the first woman he longed for but never could have with her husband in the church. He hated that the woman he married was nothing like the woman he desired, and each time the other woman's husband showed her affection in the church, our brother-in-the-lord came home to take out his angst on his poor wife, who knew nothing of what was going on in her husband's head. 😐

---

Now @Amarachieze, please tell us, in each case above, which of the individuals would be classified as the unequally yoked individual in the marriage, and which would be the compatible or incompatible one. 😶

cutecommend:
I did not say I am regretting marrying someone. That does not apply to me.

'May you not meet your original partner after you have married"
OK tell me if you meet the so called original partner after marrying another partner what will you do? How will you feel? Happy? Grateful? Sad? Regret?
I am not saying that is your current situation but as the OP you actually put yourself in the place your hypothetical individual while making that prayer that is why I referred to you

Kobojunkie:
. Here are two straightforward scenarios for you to analyze and give straightforward answers in response to. 🤔

Scenario A: A pastor married a wife, and after about 5 years of what seemed a loveless union, decided he had found love with another woman — he fell out of love with his wife almost immediately after the marriage. It started with him emotionally cheating on his wife.(He was a pastor with a sleek tongue, so he could explain away even the most awkward of moments with ease.)Eventually, he tagged his wife as a bad woman, and began heaping blame on her in attempts to create a reason for his eventual divorce/abandonment of her and the children she had for him. All this so he could eventually make room for the new woman to come into his life. 😐

Scenario B: A brother-in-the-lord who had been born-again for over 10 years. He fell in love with another lady, but the woman he desired wanted nothing to do with him. She was also in the church, but her eyes were on another man. She later married that other man and had a child with him. Fast forward 3 years, our brother-in-the-lord finally saw himself seeing what he referred to as visions of another woman whom he believed his lord had chosen for him to marry. He and this other woman were asked to enter into prayer, and they came out of it convinced they were meant for each other. The two— our brother-in-the-lord and this other woman who believed they were both right for each other — eventually got married. And no sooner had this happened than all hell broke loose for this new wife. In public, our brother-in-the-lord maintained his spiritual persona, but at home, this man saw his wife as a punching bag for all his shortcomings and lost dreams. He gaslighted his wife into believing his abuse of her was all her fault.

Our brother-in-the-lord is filled with regret and hurt every time he sees the first woman he longed for but never could have with her husband in the church. He hated that the woman he married was nothing like the woman he desired, and each time the other woman's husband showed her affection in the church, our brother-in-the-lord came home to take out his angst on his poor wife, who knew nothing of what was going on in her husband's head. 😐

---

Now @Amarachieze, please tell us, in each case above, which of the individuals would be classified as the unequally yoked individual in the marriage, and which would be the compatible or incompatible one. 😶

Well I would not like to delve into your (personal) negative perception of religion and Christianity in particular.
However it seems to me that you think anybody that goes to church or claimed to be a pastor is truly a born again christian. Nothing is further from the truth than that notion
In the two scenarios you mentioned none of them is even a believer not talk of being unequally yoked.
Nevertheless, it is important for you to know that unequally yoked as recorded in bible is a marriage principle that applies to Christians and non Christians alike. It is warning not to entagle oneself with partners of different of different ideals, beliefs and world-views because you are bound to have conflicts in such relationships be it marriage, friendship or business. Can you imagine me and you living as husband and wife. My faith will definitely conflict with your Freemason ideals. This is unequally yoked.

Amarachieze:
➜Well I would not like to delve into your (personal) negative perception of religion and Christianity in particular.
➜ However it seems to me that you think anybody that goes to church or claimed to be a pastor is truly a born again christian. Nothing is further from the truth than that notion
➜ In the two scenarios you mentioned none of them is even a believer not talk of being unequally yoked.
➜ Nevertheless, it is important for you to know that unequally yoked as recorded in bible is a marriage principle that applies to Christians and non Christians alike. It is warning not to entagle oneself with partners of different of different ideals, beliefs and world-views because you are bound to have conflicts in such relationships be it marriage, friendship or business. Can you imagine me and you living as husband and wife. My faith will definitely conflict with your Freemason ideals. This is unequally yoked.

1. This isn't unique to Christianity as the same patterns are observed across all religions. You mentioned Christianity, and that is the primary reason for the focus.

2. People who embrace religion, including Christianity, have shown themselves, time and time again, to be no different from those who have no religion or even abhor it altogether. The scenarios I painted there are the typical examples of Christian marriages out there; nothing more.


3. They are not; not only do the men in both cases claim to be, but those around them even vouch for their claims in that they extol them as being indeed what they claim.

This wuru-wuru logic religious always tends to put forward na wetin dem dey call brain-damaged. Na una go tell people say all they have to do is confess their sins and accept Cheezuss.. all for mouth... to be saved and born-again. Una go even call them up to congratulate them, say dem don born-again right after una pastas pray finish. Next thing, na the same una go come dey tell us say this one dey but this other one no dey. Where una really stand if not for confusion for Pete's sake?

4. It applies to all Christians, yet only a statement ago, you declared that none of the above-mentioned are qualified to even be Christians? Remember, I had indicated earlier that I wished you to provide STRAIGHTFORWARD RESPONSES... none of this wuru? 😩😩😩😩

Both scenarios present individuals who attended the same church under the same denomination. 😩😩😩😩

Kobojunkie:
1. This isn't unique to Christianity as the same patterns are observed across all religions. You mentioned Christianity, and that is the primary reason for the focus.

2. People who embrace religion, including Christianity, have shown themselves, time and time again, to be no different from those who have no religion or even abhor it altogether. The scenarios I painted there are the typical examples of Christian marriages out there; nothing more.


3. They are not; not only do the men in both cases claim to be, but those around them even vouch for their claims in that they extol them as being indeed what they claim.

This wuru-wuru logic religious always tends to put forward na wetin dem dey call brain-damaged. Na una go tell people say all they have to do is confess their sins and accept Cheezuss.. all for mouth... to be saved and born-again. Una go even call them up to congratulate them, say dem don born-again right after una pastas pray finish. Next thing, na the same una go come dey tell us say this one dey but this other one no dey. Where una really stand if not for confusion for Pete's sake?

4. It applies to all Christians, yet only a statement ago, you declared that none of the above-mentioned are qualified to even be Christians? Remember, I had indicated earlier that I wished you to provide STRAIGHTFORWARD RESPONSES... none of this wuru? 😩😩😩😩

Both scenarios present individuals who attended the same church under the same denomination. 😩😩😩😩

Religion is a personal thing so it is not my wish to engage you on it.
If you're an atheist who doesn't believe in existence of God it is your personal business. don't kill yourself for the foolishness of our Faith in Jesus. We know that it is foolishness to you but it is the power of God unto salvation for those of us who believe. Have a goodnight
Bye

Double0h7:
I’ve met a few white women with this exact storyline, and they are happily married to the second person for many years. I think if there’s no children involved in the current marriage, and you meet your soulmate, then it’s probably best to walk away from the current relationship and try again. If there are children involved then it would be selfish to scatter your family for a potential.

What about if there is only one child 🤔

What can I do please 🥺

advanceDNA:
Anybody meeting their "original" partner after getting married to someone else is just greedy ..their eyes is still in the street...

..u will.meet many more fine pple after u get married......face ur marriage...... Na because u never start to dey live with them they look like the best spouse

African mentality and I am not surprised with the number of likes because this is the part of the world where people lie to themselves. What happened to the simple word, compatibility?

Amarachieze:
➜Religion is a personal thing so it is not my wish to engage you on it.
➜If you're an atheist who doesn't believe in existence of God it is your personal business. don't kill yourself for the foolishness of our Faith in Jesus. We know that it is foolishness to you but it is the power of God unto salvation for those of us who believe. Have a goodnight
Bye

1. Religion is a personal thing, yet less than 3 comments ago, you openly declared two religious people are not believers, as they each personally claim. Do you see yet another contradictory evidence to many of your claims regarding religion?

2. This thread isn't about me and your assumptions regarding my stance as far as religion. You tried to bring religion into the debate, and I simply gave you two religious angles to provide clarifications on.

Tayorshd87:
➜What about if there is only one child 🤔 What can I do please 🥺

Shared/joint custody exists to allow a man and a woman to both parent the child they had with each other.

cutecommend:
It is possible to see the best spouse for you after you are Married, but you just have to love the one you are already married to and move on.

/

The grass always looks greener on the other side...until you get there.

/

duduade:
Na why I like òyìnbó people
Once there is connection.. they scatter their original marriage 😂

😂😂😂😂

Before you know, feelings would start growing 😂😂..

Where was the person when him/her was single?.

May it not be anyone's portion ooo..

Helpout12345:
Not always true. It might be true only if you truly made a very terrible choice of a spouse.

Those people you see from afar as best might not the best when you go close to them, and when you marry them.

No body is perfect
Will only manage each other

Kobojunkie:
While on the surface, it may seem selfish, it isn't right to turn marriage into some sort of hostage situation for your spouse. As the other spouse, you do yourself absolutely no good trying to hold on to someone who does not love or value you in a relationship. (It should really gross you out that you are in a relationship with someone whose heart is already elsewhere.) If he/she wishes to leave, let him leave. It isn't necessary to guilt him/her into staying, nor is it sensible to try to force him/her to stay, as that only makes one into some sort of monster and not a partner.

It is better to leave the marriage completely once one realizes one no longer has happiness or joy to find within it, than to remain and have the other spouse waste his/her life dedicated to a partner whose heart and mind are elsewhere. And worse, have the children grow up watching their parents live unhappily and miserably, thinking themselves partly to blame for it. It is wrong and should not be condoned, no matter what.

The post didn’t say they ain’t happy in the marriage. It was about, what to do when one finds a better partner after marriage.
You seem to be very happy to see marriage end. It’s not the first time I’ve read your pro divorce comment. It’s just despicable!

alizma:
African mentality and I am not surprised with the number of likes because this is the part of the world where people lie to themselves. What happened to the simple word, compatibility?

Lol....

Yes ooo..blame compatibility.......you kiss, you chook p£nis, e sweet you...u d multiple times, u took them to ur parents, plan wedding, do the wedding ....then u now start to play the compatibility card.... Hahahahhaha... Na street dey your eyes...

With a very few exception that went into arranged, forced marriage, or married when they were too young......its greed and lack of discipline to invest in your own relationship that's worrying most of y'all.....

....y'all are not even sexually disciplined to stick with your partner, always running to your exes and colleagues bedroom, any small chance, yet come and blame compatibility

There are 8 billion people on planet...go ahead and calculate the probability.....but hey! Y'all can keep blaming compatibility...

Kobojunkie:
While on the surface, it may seem selfish, it isn't right to turn marriage into some sort of hostage situation for your spouse. As the other spouse, you do yourself absolutely no good trying to hold on to someone who does not love or value you in a relationship. (It should really gross you out that you are in a relationship with someone whose heart is already elsewhere.) If he/she wishes to leave, let him leave. It isn't necessary to guilt him/her into staying, nor is it sensible to try to force him/her to stay, as that only makes one into some sort of monster and not a partner.

It is better to leave the marriage completely once one realizes one no longer has happiness or joy to find within it, than to remain and have the other spouse waste his/her life dedicated to a partner whose heart and mind are elsewhere. And worse, have the children grow up watching their parents live unhappily and miserably, thinking themselves partly to blame for it. It is wrong and should not be condoned, no matter what.

this is the best thing I have ever heard from your mouth.

Kobojunkie:
. Here are two straightforward scenarios for you to analyze and give straightforward answers in response to. 🤔

Scenario A: A pastor married a wife, and after about 5 years of what seemed a loveless union, decided he had found love with another woman — he fell out of love with his wife almost immediately after the marriage. It started with him emotionally cheating on his wife.(He was a pastor with a sleek tongue, so he could explain away even the most awkward of moments with ease.)Eventually, he tagged his wife as a bad woman, and began heaping blame on her in attempts to create a reason for his eventual divorce/abandonment of her and the children she had for him. All this so he could eventually make room for the new woman to come into his life. 😐

Scenario B: A brother-in-the-lord who had been born-again for over 10 years. He fell in love with another lady, but the woman he desired wanted nothing to do with him. She was also in the church, but her eyes were on another man. She later married that other man and had a child with him. Fast forward 3 years, our brother-in-the-lord finally saw himself seeing what he referred to as visions of another woman whom he believed his lord had chosen for him to marry. He and this other woman were asked to enter into prayer, and they came out of it convinced they were meant for each other. The two— our brother-in-the-lord and this other woman who believed they were both right for each other — eventually got married. And no sooner had this happened than all hell broke loose for this new wife. In public, our brother-in-the-lord maintained his spiritual persona, but at home, this man saw his wife as a punching bag for all his shortcomings and lost dreams. He gaslighted his wife into believing his abuse of her was all her fault.

Our brother-in-the-lord is filled with regret and hurt every time he sees the first woman he longed for but never could have with her husband in the church. He hated that the woman he married was nothing like the woman he desired, and each time the other woman's husband showed her affection in the church, our brother-in-the-lord came home to take out his angst on his poor wife, who knew nothing of what was going on in her husband's head. 😐

---

Now @Amarachieze, please tell us, in each case above, which of the individuals would be classified as the unequally yoked individual in the marriage, and which would be the compatible or incompatible one. 😶

I'll like to know what exactly your points in these 2 scenarios are, because these are deep situations which happen in real life... sincerely asking.

Thanks.

Yoighaman:
✓ I'll like to know what exactly your points in these scenarios are, because these are deep situations which happens in real life... sincerely asking. Thanks.

I was told that in the case of unequally yoked individuals among the Christians, a different rule applies, so I am simply trying to ascertain how Christians go about determining their unequally yoked folks from those who are when in reality the pattern among Christians is no different from that of those altogether outside of religious circles. 🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
1. Religion is a personal thing, yet less than 3 comments ago, you openly declared two religious people are not believers, as they each personally claim. Do you see yet another contradictory evidence to many of your claims regarding religion?

2. This thread isn't about me and your assumptions regarding my stance as far as religion. You tried to bring religion into the debate, and I simply gave you two religious angles to provide clarifications on.

kobojunkie, kindly post your acct no here, let me wire you something for the weekend.

Zackattack:
. The post didn’t say they ain’t happy in the marriage. It was about, what to do when one finds a better partner after marriage.
✓ You seem to be very happy to see marriage end. It’s not the first time I’ve read your pro divorce comment. It’s just despicable!

It is impossible to be happy in a place where your heart isn't in. It is impossible to be happy in with person A while your heart pines and longs instead for person B. Men have always known this; Women are mostly the ones who are brainwashed from childhood into thinking they can squeeze water from stone -- convert an impossibility in to possible through pretence. All those who have tried it end up living corpses

2. Happiness cannot be faked. Pretend all you want, but you will never get your emotional indicator to point towards happiness, try as you might. It is impossible to achieve happiness without, in fact, having your heart and your head at least pointing in the same direction, no matter the eventual outcome.

lailo:
this is the best thing I have ever heard from your mouth.

What's the best thing ever heard from a narcissist mouth like thou .
People who always have a distorted reality

Just divorce and move on.

Helpout12345:
Not always true. It might be true only if you truly made a very terrible choice of a spouse.

Those people you see from afar as best might not the best when you go close to them, and when you marry them.