₦airaland Forum

valentineuwakwe:
You and girl meet at an event n you forget to ask her for her name; isn't introduction meant to come in first?
So you wait til after the event before you begin ask
Dey play

Calm down and read again, abi na person explain the story give you?

About the sun bro, not about you.
For you, I leave you to the nairaland feminists plus simps, trust me they will come for your head and I'll be here sitting on ma porch reading and laughing.

tobeezman:
complain about what? the weather is cool here.

tobeezman:
Not at all! If she was yoruba and she is proud of her yoruba name and heritage, I will not ghost her. I will choose a yoruba lady that bears "Kemi Joy Adeyeye" to "Joy Peters". I don't know how best to explain this.

Your explanation is apt. Whosoever is ashamed of their identity is a person of inferiority complex who must surely suffer from identity crisis , and can easily deny you any day, anytime to survive.

fyneboi79:
I am proud of your decision... Identity is everything!

Wrong.

Identity is identity.

tobeezman:
I met this fine geh at a tech event in Lagos.
Before the event started, we had a little chit-chat and mehn, she was exactly my type. Beautiful, intelligent, confident, and we just clicked. You know that kind of connection that feels like you’ve known someone for years? Yeah, that was it.

Throughout the event, we kept vibing, laughing at the same jokes, sharing ideas, everything just aligned.

At the end, I asked for her name she said Linda.
Cool name.

Then I asked where she was from, she said Anambra.
My eyes lit up. I’m from Anambra too!

So I got curious and asked, “What village?”
She mentioned it and boom, it’s in the same local government as mine. I was like, “This is fate.”

Everything was lining up perfectly.
She was single, I’m single, we shared interests, goals, and background… until one tiny moment changed everything.

She gave me her business card and I didn’t see a single Igbo name on it.
Both her first and last names were English.

When I got home, I texted her, I asked, gently, “Don’t you have an Igbo name?”

Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

That one message drained everything I felt for her.
Instantly.

It wasn’t about tribal pride or anything dramatic, it was just the realization that we might see identity differently.
Because for me, being Igbo isn’t just where I’m from, it’s who I am. It’s the rhythm in my thoughts, the tone in my laughter, the root of my values.

And when someone rejects that part of themselves, it feels like they’ve rejected a part of me too.

So yeah… I ghosted her.
Not because she wasn’t amazing, but because something in me went cold.

What about you influencing her to cherish everything about her root?
You don5 have to ghost her when you claimed she is your type,you know your type can't be perfect.
Love has its ways of making crook ways straight in a relationship.

That lady dodged a missile. Something as insignificant as that is what you came to Nairaland to write a novel about. It shows you are very petty and your partner will have to walk on eggshells when stuck around you.

tobeezman:
I met this fine geh at a tech event in Lagos.
Before the event started, we had a little chit-chat and mehn, she was exactly my type. Beautiful, intelligent, confident, and we just clicked. You know that kind of connection that feels like you’ve known someone for years? Yeah, that was it.

Throughout the event, we kept vibing, laughing at the same jokes, sharing ideas, everything just aligned.

At the end, I asked for her name she said Linda.
Cool name.

Then I asked where she was from, she said Anambra.
My eyes lit up. I’m from Anambra too!

So I got curious and asked, “What village?”
She mentioned it and boom, it’s in the same local government as mine. I was like, “This is fate.”

Everything was lining up perfectly.
She was single, I’m single, we shared interests, goals, and background… until one tiny moment changed everything.

She gave me her business card and I didn’t see a single Igbo name on it.
Both her first and last names were English.

When I got home, I texted her, I asked, gently, “Don’t you have an Igbo name?”

Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

That one message drained everything I felt for her.
Instantly.

It wasn’t about tribal pride or anything dramatic, it was just the realization that we might see identity differently.
Because for me, being Igbo isn’t just where I’m from, it’s who I am. It’s the rhythm in my thoughts, the tone in my laughter, the root of my values.

And when someone rejects that part of themselves, it feels like they’ve rejected a part of me too.

So yeah… I ghosted her.
Not because she wasn’t amazing, but because something in me went cold.

In other words you lost interest in her because she had a tendency of being less igbotic, even when she didn’t deny her State of origin. Issorait.
Know what?
You suppose type this nonsense in igbo so only Igbos can read it since inclusivity and diversity no dey your dictionary.

*disgusting

tobeezman:
I met this fine geh at a tech event in Lagos.
Before the event started, we had a little chit-chat and mehn, she was exactly my type. Beautiful, intelligent, confident, and we just clicked. You know that kind of connection that feels like you’ve known someone for years? Yeah, that was it.

Throughout the event, we kept vibing, laughing at the same jokes, sharing ideas, everything just aligned.

At the end, I asked for her name she said Linda.
Cool name.

Then I asked where she was from, she said Anambra.
My eyes lit up. I’m from Anambra too!

So I got curious and asked, “What village?”
She mentioned it and boom, it’s in the same local government as mine. I was like, “This is fate.”

Everything was lining up perfectly.
She was single, I’m single, we shared interests, goals, and background… until one tiny moment changed everything.

She gave me her business card and I didn’t see a single Igbo name on it.
Both her first and last names were English.

When I got home, I texted her, I asked, gently, “Don’t you have an Igbo name?”

Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

That one message drained everything I felt for her.
Instantly.

It wasn’t about tribal pride or anything dramatic, it was just the realization that we might see identity differently.
Because for me, being Igbo isn’t just where I’m from, it’s who I am. It’s the rhythm in my thoughts, the tone in my laughter, the root of my values.

And when someone rejects that part of themselves, it feels like they’ve rejected a part of me too.

So yeah… I ghosted her.
Not because she wasn’t amazing, but because something in me went cold.

So u a tribalist

SpencerForbes:
You're chasing perfection, but let's be real, we're all works in progress - guys and gals alike. If you're holding out for that flawless Igbo babe who's smart and checks every box, you might be waiting a while.

So, are you saying if you meet a chill, caring, intelligent lady, you'd pass just because she's Yoruba? Sounds like there's more to the story, or maybe you just didn’t like her.
🚶‍♂️

Definitely a very valid reason to not be with someone especially when you're thinking about the future and the family imagine having someone like that having kids with them and what they do as mothers to their kids and the brainwashing that she's going to pass down to those kids

That's your problem. People like you would always wallow in ethnicity.

McBishop2020:
Your explanation is apt. Whosoever is ashamed of their identity is a person of inferiority complex who must surely suffer from identity crisis , and can easily deny you any day, anytime to survive.

Everything is not about inferiority complex. I hate my English name, but I am stuck with it. Do you think I have inferiority complex too? Someone can be ashamed of their identity if it is dented with a bad reputation. For instance, would you be proud to expose your identity if you come from a family of criminals?

As an adult, you should know by now that there is something we call 'preference', and I believe we are all entitled to our preferences. Same way you may prefer ladies with fat or slim ass, light or dark skin, is the same way she prefers to speak English over Igbo. So, live and let live!

tobeezman:
I met this fine geh at a tech event in Lagos.
Before the event started, we had a little chit-chat and mehn, she was exactly my type. Beautiful, intelligent, confident, and we just clicked. You know that kind of connection that feels like you’ve known someone for years? Yeah, that was it.

Throughout the event, we kept vibing, laughing at the same jokes, sharing ideas, everything just aligned.

At the end, I asked for her name she said Linda.
Cool name.

Then I asked where she was from, she said Anambra.
My eyes lit up. I’m from Anambra too!

So I got curious and asked, “What village?”
She mentioned it and boom, it’s in the same local government as mine. I was like, “This is fate.”

Everything was lining up perfectly.
She was single, I’m single, we shared interests, goals, and background… until one tiny moment changed everything.

She gave me her business card and I didn’t see a single Igbo name on it.
Both her first and last names were English.

When I got home, I texted her, I asked, gently, “Don’t you have an Igbo name?”

Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

That one message drained everything I felt for her.
Instantly.

It wasn’t about tribal pride or anything dramatic, it was just the realization that we might see identity differently.
Because for me, being Igbo isn’t just where I’m from, it’s who I am. It’s the rhythm in my thoughts, the tone in my laughter, the root of my values.

And when someone rejects that part of themselves, it feels like they’ve rejected a part of me too.

So yeah… I ghosted her.
Not because she wasn’t amazing, but because something in me went cold.

maybe she's Osu!

tobeezman:
I met this fine geh at a tech event in Lagos.
Before the event started, we had a little chit-chat and mehn, she was exactly my type. Beautiful, intelligent, confident, and we just clicked. You know that kind of connection that feels like you’ve known someone for years? Yeah, that was it.

Throughout the event, we kept vibing, laughing at the same jokes, sharing ideas, everything just aligned.

At the end, I asked for her name she said Linda.
Cool name.

Then I asked where she was from, she said Anambra.
My eyes lit up. I’m from Anambra too!

So I got curious and asked, “What village?”
She mentioned it and boom, it’s in the same local government as mine. I was like, “This is fate.”

Everything was lining up perfectly.
She was single, I’m single, we shared interests, goals, and background… until one tiny moment changed everything.

She gave me her business card and I didn’t see a single Igbo name on it.
Both her first and last names were English.

When I got home, I texted her, I asked, gently, “Don’t you have an Igbo name?”

Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

That one message drained everything I felt for her.
Instantly.

It wasn’t about tribal pride or anything dramatic, it was just the realization that we might see identity differently.
Because for me, being Igbo isn’t just where I’m from, it’s who I am. It’s the rhythm in my thoughts, the tone in my laughter, the root of my values.

And when someone rejects that part of themselves, it feels like they’ve rejected a part of me too.

So yeah… I ghosted her.
Not because she wasn’t amazing, but because something in me went cold.

I know a girl whose name is Adanne Ifeoluwa Eze. Her parents are Igbos but she has a Yoruba name (not minding that she nor her parents never lived among the Yorubas).

That's love for certain people or language or culture without compromising your identity.

The girl speaks Igbo, Hausa, English, and sees every Yoruba as part of her though she doesn't know how to speak the language yet.

People that are not comfortable with their Nigerian/Tribal identity appear so unattractive to me.

Bros you ain’t ready..you could be ready financially, socially, physically, spiritually but you’re not mentally..you don’t gotta be perfect sometimes imperfections bring about perfections. Be clear

franvincoop:
By that time my brother, erection go be na after every 8-10 hours.

DMCA:
na your problem
if u like reject person wey be ur type because of little thing such as that say e no want dey native and dey run away from certain things.
u still forget say u fit still draw am close still remodel her thinking if she dey wrong
abi u expect factory made perfect human being for u to go into relationship with?
na make me slap u from here oh!

you got it spot on. I expected the Op to ask further why she chose that line for herself. People don't make decisions for no reason. He might actually be the one to reshape her thinking.

That a person looks, acts smart doesn't mean they are smart in all areas of life.

tobeezman:
I met this fine geh at a tech event in Lagos.
Before the event started, we had a little chit-chat and mehn, she was exactly my type. Beautiful, intelligent, confident, and we just clicked. You know that kind of connection that feels like you’ve known someone for years? Yeah, that was it.

Throughout the event, we kept vibing, laughing at the same jokes, sharing ideas, everything just aligned.

At the end, I asked for her name she said Linda.
Cool name.

Then I asked where she was from, she said Anambra.
My eyes lit up. I’m from Anambra too!

So I got curious and asked, “What village?”
She mentioned it and boom, it’s in the same local government as mine. I was like, “This is fate.”

Everything was lining up perfectly.
She was single, I’m single, we shared interests, goals, and background… until one tiny moment changed everything.

She gave me her business card and I didn’t see a single Igbo name on it.
Both her first and last names were English.

When I got home, I texted her, I asked, gently, “Don’t you have an Igbo name?”

Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

That one message drained everything I felt for her.
Instantly.

It wasn’t about tribal pride or anything dramatic, it was just the realization that we might see identity differently.
Because for me, being Igbo isn’t just where I’m from, it’s who I am. It’s the rhythm in my thoughts, the tone in my laughter, the root of my values.

And when someone rejects that part of themselves, it feels like they’ve rejected a part of me too.

So yeah… I ghosted her.
Not because she wasn’t amazing, but because something in me went cold.

from ur words it appears u can’t marry other tribe. If not why not just assume u are dating an English lady and move on. At least u will not do a traditional marriage.

franvincoop:
By that time my brother, erection go be na after every 8-10 hours.

I reject that IJN!

tobeezman:
I met this fine geh at a tech event in Lagos.
Before the event started, we had a little chit-chat and mehn, she was exactly my type. Beautiful, intelligent, confident, and we just clicked. You know that kind of connection that feels like you’ve known someone for years? Yeah, that was it.

Throughout the event, we kept vibing, laughing at the same jokes, sharing ideas, everything just aligned.

At the end, I asked for her name she said Linda.
Cool name.

Then I asked where she was from, she said Anambra.
My eyes lit up. I’m from Anambra too!

So I got curious and asked, “What village?”
She mentioned it and boom, it’s in the same local government as mine. I was like, “This is fate.”

Everything was lining up perfectly.
She was single, I’m single, we shared interests, goals, and background… until one tiny moment changed everything.

She gave me her business card and I didn’t see a single Igbo name on it.
Both her first and last names were English.

When I got home, I texted her, I asked, gently, “Don’t you have an Igbo name?”

Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

That one message drained everything I felt for her.
Instantly.

It wasn’t about tribal pride or anything dramatic, it was just the realization that we might see identity differently.
Because for me, being Igbo isn’t just where I’m from, it’s who I am. It’s the rhythm in my thoughts, the tone in my laughter, the root of my values.

And when someone rejects that part of themselves, it feels like they’ve rejected a part of me too.

So yeah… I ghosted her.
Not because she wasn’t amazing, but because something in me went cold.

You don't know something yet...

dauntless15:
That's how you choose to interpret it, I don't go around using my native name as well and I hardly speak my mother tongue, does that mean I detest my roots? Una too carry insignificant things for head.

I use my native name and I speak my language when it matters.
But saying I don't like my native name or my language is significant.

If the the English men and women posses same mentality like the lady, their language would have vanished.

Come to the North, many have lost their identity because of such mentality.

If may ask, do detest your native name or language?

cr7lomo:
I have seen A-list actresses and musicians like Mila kunis speak Russian, Dua lipa speak Albanian, J lo speak Spanish, Gal Gadot speak Hebrew, Madonna speak Italian...these are born and bred Americans.. but some foolish local naija girl de shame for her language...u did the right thing guy

My dear I went for a two weeks training at Delhi India and after that training I got to tell myself that African women are the most inferior people created by God.

They so much hate things about them to the point you keep wondering if most of them will be angry with God for making them Africans.


🥱🥱

tobeezman:
Not at all! If she was yoruba and she is proud of her yoruba name and heritage, I will not ghost her. I will choose a yoruba lady that bears "Kemi Joy Adeyeye" to "Joy Peters". I don't know how best to explain this.

Yea, it is not Okay not to be proud of your background. But one thing is wrong with you which you may not have known until now. You are quick to judge people. Do you know or care to know why she said that? Or you think there is nothing in this world that should warrant such?
In case you dont know, what she said is like denying Nigeria and not wanting to be identified as a Nigerian outside Nigeria. Do you know that if you listen to the sad tale of how injustice and much more has made people lost confidence in this country, you will agree with people who dont want to be identified as one? Let me give u a head up. Imagine a young lady who Boko haram killed all her relatives but somehow managed to escape; now she sees those who killed her family being pardoned and given presidential treatment. She sees the killers in her neighborhood living freely without facing the consequences of their actions. She is disappointed, she is depressed and cannot continue to live seeing those people free
Such person can find a way out of this country and never want to be called a Nigerian because of the pains and agony the memories bring to them. Bro... I think you concluded too fast. You should have heard her out and maybe you could have had more solid reasons to either run faraway from her or found a reason to understand her stand.
Tobeezman

The problem I see with the op is that he is thinking about what his village People and community will say about him if he eventually married her.
But guy you should not let the opinions of people influence you as far as you did not hurt anyone and you are happy. You might regret this action of yours.

deavicky:
from ur words it appears u can’t marry in other tribe. If not why not just assume u are dating an English lady and move on. At least u will not do a traditional marriage.

Not true! I can marry from any tribe. You still don't get the point. If she was Yoruba or any other tribe and she wears her native name with pride, I would still be in touch and the connection will still be there.

Am I the only one who thinks this is just a fabricated story?

Exceed15:
If the bearing of native name is important keep searching then.

some of una get comprehension problem for this forum aswear. he said the babe wants nothing to do with her igbo identity. it goes deeper than just names.

op, as a proud igbo man myself, that's the right thing to do. it will bring lots of problem in the future

tobeezman:
I met this fine geh at a tech event in Lagos.
Before the event started, we had a little chit-chat and mehn, she was exactly my type. Beautiful, intelligent, confident, and we just clicked. You know that kind of connection that feels like you’ve known someone for years? Yeah, that was it.

Throughout the event, we kept vibing, laughing at the same jokes, sharing ideas, everything just aligned.

At the end, I asked for her name she said Linda.
Cool name.

Then I asked where she was from, she said Anambra.
My eyes lit up. I’m from Anambra too!

So I got curious and asked, “What village?”
She mentioned it and boom, it’s in the same local government as mine. I was like, “This is fate.”

Everything was lining up perfectly.
She was single, I’m single, we shared interests, goals, and background… until one tiny moment changed everything.

She gave me her business card and I didn’t see a single Igbo name on it.
Both her first and last names were English.

When I got home, I texted her, I asked, gently, “Don’t you have an Igbo name?”

Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

That one message drained everything I felt for her.
Instantly.

It wasn’t about tribal pride or anything dramatic, it was just the realization that we might see identity differently.
Because for me, being Igbo isn’t just where I’m from, it’s who I am. It’s the rhythm in my thoughts, the tone in my laughter, the root of my values.

And when someone rejects that part of themselves, it feels like they’ve rejected a part of me too.

So yeah… I ghosted her.
Not because she wasn’t amazing, but because something in me went cold.

Can you pass her to me?

Cti28:
I use my native name and I speak my language when it matters.
But saying I don't like my native name or my language is significant.

If the the English men and women posses same mentality like the lady, their language would have vanished.

Come to the North, many have lost their identity because of such mentality.

If may ask, do detest your native name or language?

It's okay to not like your native name, e fit no sound good, e fit no mean good thing, she has her reasons, that doesn't mean she won't ever go home or associate with people from her tribe, it's not that deep.

Metcheeew, you never ready, small pikin de worry you.
Guess even if she had igbo name next thing you will say is she cannot pound yam or does not eat akpu.

tobeezman:
I met this fine geh at a tech event in Lagos.
Before the event started, we had a little chit-chat and mehn, she was exactly my type. Beautiful, intelligent, confident, and we just clicked. You know that kind of connection that feels like you’ve known someone for years? Yeah, that was it.

Throughout the event, we kept vibing, laughing at the same jokes, sharing ideas, everything just aligned.

At the end, I asked for her name she said Linda.
Cool name.

Then I asked where she was from, she said Anambra.
My eyes lit up. I’m from Anambra too!

So I got curious and asked, “What village?”
She mentioned it and boom, it’s in the same local government as mine. I was like, “This is fate.”

Everything was lining up perfectly.
She was single, I’m single, we shared interests, goals, and background… until one tiny moment changed everything.

She gave me her business card and I didn’t see a single Igbo name on it.
Both her first and last names were English.

When I got home, I texted her, I asked, gently, “Don’t you have an Igbo name?”

Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

That one message drained everything I felt for her.
Instantly.

It wasn’t about tribal pride or anything dramatic, it was just the realization that we might see identity differently.
Because for me, being Igbo isn’t just where I’m from, it’s who I am. It’s the rhythm in my thoughts, the tone in my laughter, the root of my values.

And when someone rejects that part of themselves, it feels like they’ve rejected a part of me too.

So yeah… I ghosted her.
Not because she wasn’t amazing, but because something in me went cold.

I'm a Yoruba man, but i share your feelings, why will someone castigate and reject his/her source, where you come from, that is somehow surprising to me. I think you should ask her for the reasons for that, probably she might have genuine reasons.

tobeezman:
Understandable but what about her native name?

Some discarded their surnames(father or grand father or great grand father) because of linkage to idols, examples,Amadioha,Njoku etc. Anything outside that is not justifiable, that is my own opinion. So, you would have probed further before running away.