₦airaland Forum

tobeezman:
lol 100 tubers of yam is not a problem, I can even double it with Joy. Make I see her first, If I like her na small thing. no pretense, Where is she from sef?

Lol, like play like play, this bros fit see wife just now through nairaland oh.

thomas2024:
Noted. I’ve responded.

likewise
check your whatsapp

tobeezman:
likewise
check your whatsapp

I’ve messaged you.

thomas2024:
Your secret yaf open. You’re the tech babe😂

Okay.

SuperOnyi:




Good decision. She can keep speaking her lovely English sprinkled with thick African accent.

When I have kids, none of them would bear English names. I make it clear to any girl I talk to. I love English language, it has made communication easier for me, and made me money and equally opened barriers for me; however, it would be disingenuous I embrace another man's language and insult that of my fathers.

How foolish can a person be?

I would rather advise my children to speak multiple languages than speak "I dey go, I dey come." That's why I speak only Igbo to my sister's kids. I only speak English with the one whose father isn't Igbo and my ignorant sister only speaks English to.

None of my children have English name. Their names have African ancestry even across Nigeria down to South Africa. When I went to register my daughter, the secretary of the school asked is there no English name? I quietly asked her "what is wrong with her African names?". No be person tell her to shut up.

This is why after many pleadings, when I did my church wedding, I wore my white senator. We are Africans. If you don't see anything wrong that an African does not any ancestry name attached to him or her, then you are still in mental slavery.

tobeezman:
I met this fine geh at a tech event in Lagos.
Before the event started, we had a little chit-chat and mehn, she was exactly my type. Beautiful, intelligent, confident, and we just clicked. You know that kind of connection that feels like you’ve known someone for years? Yeah, that was it.

Throughout the event, we kept vibing, laughing at the same jokes, sharing ideas, everything just aligned.

At the end, I asked for her name she said Linda.
Cool name.

Then I asked where she was from, she said Anambra.
My eyes lit up. I’m from Anambra too!

So I got curious and asked, “What village?”
She mentioned it and boom, it’s in the same local government as mine. I was like, “This is fate.”

Everything was lining up perfectly.
She was single, I’m single, we shared interests, goals, and background… until one tiny moment changed everything.

She gave me her business card and I didn’t see a single Igbo name on it.
Both her first and last names were English.

When I got home, I texted her, I asked, gently, “Don’t you have an Igbo name?”

Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

That one message drained everything I felt for her.
Instantly.

It wasn’t about tribal pride or anything dramatic, it was just the realization that we might see identity differently.
Because for me, being Igbo isn’t just where I’m from, it’s who I am. It’s the rhythm in my thoughts, the tone in my laughter, the root of my values.

And when someone rejects that part of themselves, it feels like they’ve rejected a part of me too.

So yeah… I ghosted her.
Not because she wasn’t amazing, but because something in me went cold.

You haven't met Akwa Ibom people.

Mark Sunday Timothy
Peace Peter Joseph
Joy Simon Samuel
Gift Ezekiel Jonathan
Etc.

They don't like to bear their native names.

spiceadole:
You haven't met Akwa Ibom people.

Mark Sunday Timothy
Peace Peter Joseph
Joy Simon Samuel
Gift Ezekiel Jonathan
Etc.

They don't like to bear their native names.

Only the spirit could have shown you this. Most of them just don't vibe with their native name, even if it means Jesus is Lord. They rather go by Lord Jesus. Quite a funny bunch, really😂
🚶‍♂️

SpencerForbes:
Only the spirit could have shown you this. Most of them just don't vibe with their native name, even if it means Jesus is Lord. They rather go by Lord Jesus. Quite a funny bunch, really😂
🚶‍♂️

I know.
I am from Akwa Ibom.
All my 3 names are native names.

tobeezman:
I met this fine geh at a tech event in Lagos.
Before the event started, we had a little chit-chat and mehn, she was exactly my type. Beautiful, intelligent, confident, and we just clicked. You know that kind of connection that feels like you’ve known someone for years? Yeah, that was it.

Throughout the event, we kept vibing, laughing at the same jokes, sharing ideas, everything just aligned.

At the end, I asked for her name she said Linda.
Cool name.

Then I asked where she was from, she said Anambra.
My eyes lit up. I’m from Anambra too!

So I got curious and asked, “What village?”
She mentioned it and boom, it’s in the same local government as mine. I was like, “This is fate.”

Everything was lining up perfectly.
She was single, I’m single, we shared interests, goals, and background… until one tiny moment changed everything.

She gave me her business card and I didn’t see a single Igbo name on it.
Both her first and last names were English.

When I got home, I texted her, I asked, gently, “Don’t you have an Igbo name?”

Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

That one message drained everything I felt for her.
Instantly.

It wasn’t about tribal pride or anything dramatic, it was just the realization that we might see identity differently.
Because for me, being Igbo isn’t just where I’m from, it’s who I am. It’s the rhythm in my thoughts, the tone in my laughter, the root of my values.

And when someone rejects that part of themselves, it feels like they’ve rejected a part of me too.

So yeah… I ghosted her.
Not because she wasn’t amazing, but because something in me went cold.

This is happening real.
I don’t know why my people hate being Igbo.

I gave birth and named my baby Igbo name,,, but everyone is asking me her English name.
All my siblings have changed their names to English name, meanwhile my parents didn’t name any of us English name.

You ghosted her?

How about you talk to her and help change her orientation? If she insists then you can go different ways. You never ready

I wonder the difference between you and the lady that ghosted her origin.

Lemme come and be going o

tobeezman:
How can I not be serious at my current age? I am very serious and I just gave the summary of the full story. I don't think i left any important details out of the story. Me wey be say if i see serious person today, i go marry her before January. I would have married her this year if not for that "red flag" that others might not read any meaning to or practically ignore. There are little details that I don't just ignore.

Lol
You never ready.

You didn't handle the whole thing well sha.

tobeezman:
I met this fine geh at a tech event in Lagos.
Before the event started, we had a little chit-chat and mehn, she was exactly my type. Beautiful, intelligent, confident, and we just clicked. You know that kind of connection that feels like you’ve known someone for years? Yeah, that was it.

Throughout the event, we kept vibing, laughing at the same jokes, sharing ideas, everything just aligned.

At the end, I asked for her name she said Linda.
Cool name.

Then I asked where she was from, she said Anambra.
My eyes lit up. I’m from Anambra too!

So I got curious and asked, “What village?”
She mentioned it and boom, it’s in the same local government as mine. I was like, “This is fate.”

Everything was lining up perfectly.
She was single, I’m single, we shared interests, goals, and background… until one tiny moment changed everything.

She gave me her business card and I didn’t see a single Igbo name on it.
Both her first and last names were English.

When I got home, I texted her, I asked, gently, “Don’t you have an Igbo name?”

Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

That one message drained everything I felt for her.
Instantly.

It wasn’t about tribal pride or anything dramatic, it was just the realization that we might see identity differently.
Because for me, being Igbo isn’t just where I’m from, it’s who I am. It’s the rhythm in my thoughts, the tone in my laughter, the root of my values.

And when someone rejects that part of themselves, it feels like they’ve rejected a part of me too.

So yeah… I ghosted her.
Not because she wasn’t amazing, but because something in me went cold.

She dodged a bullet.

tobeezman:
How can I not be serious at my current age? I am very serious and I just gave the summary of the full story. I don't think i left any important details out of the story. Me wey be say if i see serious person today, i go marry her before January. I would have married her this year if not for that "red flag" that others might not read any meaning to or practically ignore. There are little details that I don't just ignore.

The moment you start respecting people for having their choice is the moment you have become mature.

Live and let's live, grow up dude..

Most Igbo women love to bear their father's first name, which is invariably an English name

tobeezman:
I met this fine geh at a tech event in Lagos.
Before the event started, we had a little chit-chat and mehn, she was exactly my type. Beautiful, intelligent, confident, and we just clicked. You know that kind of connection that feels like you’ve known someone for years? Yeah, that was it.

Throughout the event, we kept vibing, laughing at the same jokes, sharing ideas, everything just aligned.

At the end, I asked for her name she said Linda.
Cool name.

Then I asked where she was from, she said Anambra.
My eyes lit up. I’m from Anambra too!

So I got curious and asked, “What village?”
She mentioned it and boom, it’s in the same local government as mine. I was like, “This is fate.”

Everything was lining up perfectly.
She was single, I’m single, we shared interests, goals, and background… until one tiny moment changed everything.

She gave me her business card and I didn’t see a single Igbo name on it.
Both her first and last names were English.

When I got home, I texted her, I asked, gently, “Don’t you have an Igbo name?”

Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

That one message drained everything I felt for her.
Instantly.

It wasn’t about tribal pride or anything dramatic, it was just the realization that we might see identity differently.
Because for me, being Igbo isn’t just where I’m from, it’s who I am. It’s the rhythm in my thoughts, the tone in my laughter, the root of my values.

And when someone rejects that part of themselves, it feels like they’ve rejected a part of me too.

So yeah… I ghosted her.
Not because she wasn’t amazing, but because something in me went cold.

My own problem with modern day dating is how you ghosted her without trying to see how to "add" to her life..... You seem to have just been watching out for what you could benefit.

May not completely be your intention but that's what it sounds like to me right now.

tobeezman:
I met this fine geh at a tech event in Lagos.
Before the event started, we had a little chit-chat and mehn, she was exactly my type. Beautiful, intelligent, confident, and we just clicked. You know that kind of connection that feels like you’ve known someone for years? Yeah, that was it.

Throughout the event, we kept vibing, laughing at the same jokes, sharing ideas, everything just aligned.

At the end, I asked for her name she said Linda.
Cool name.

Then I asked where she was from, she said Anambra.
My eyes lit up. I’m from Anambra too!

So I got curious and asked, “What village?”
She mentioned it and boom, it’s in the same local government as mine. I was like, “This is fate.”

Everything was lining up perfectly.
She was single, I’m single, we shared interests, goals, and background… until one tiny moment changed everything.

She gave me her business card and I didn’t see a single Igbo name on it.
Both her first and last names were English.

When I got home, I texted her, I asked, gently, “Don’t you have an Igbo name?”

Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

That one message drained everything I felt for her.
Instantly.

It wasn’t about tribal pride or anything dramatic, it was just the realization that we might see identity differently.
Because for me, being Igbo isn’t just where I’m from, it’s who I am. It’s the rhythm in my thoughts, the tone in my laughter, the root of my values.

And when someone rejects that part of themselves, it feels like they’ve rejected a part of me too.

So yeah… I ghosted her.
Not because she wasn’t amazing, but because something in me went cold.

Na wa o. You have time to be replying all the post/messages!

Gerrard59:
Again, a different context. She did not explicitly state she is not happy about her Congolese ancestry, OP's girl is. Also, being raised in the US, where there is a strong Black culture and population, is different from where you met her (not many Blacks). If she were raised in such a place, I bet she would expressly state that she is from Congo.

I am a black lady myself and it’s difficult to see blacks here. Hence I approached her as someone of same color and race, which she knows quite well, but somehow isn’t proud of her race. Blacks face racial discrimination here so I understand her, but it would have made sense if I was white or something. I’m black, just like her!

tobeezman:
I met this fine geh at a tech event in Lagos.
Before the event started, we had a little chit-chat and mehn, she was exactly my type. Beautiful, intelligent, confident, and we just clicked. You know that kind of connection that feels like you’ve known someone for years? Yeah, that was it.

Throughout the event, we kept vibing, laughing at the same jokes, sharing ideas, everything just aligned.

At the end, I asked for her name she said Linda.
Cool name.

Then I asked where she was from, she said Anambra.
My eyes lit up. I’m from Anambra too!

So I got curious and asked, “What village?”
She mentioned it and boom, it’s in the same local government as mine. I was like, “This is fate.”

Everything was lining up perfectly.
She was single, I’m single, we shared interests, goals, and background… until one tiny moment changed everything.

She gave me her business card and I didn’t see a single Igbo name on it.
Both her first and last names were English.

When I got home, I texted her, I asked, gently, “Don’t you have an Igbo name?”

Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

That one message drained everything I felt for her.
Instantly.

It wasn’t about tribal pride or anything dramatic, it was just the realization that we might see identity differently.
Because for me, being Igbo isn’t just where I’m from, it’s who I am. It’s the rhythm in my thoughts, the tone in my laughter, the root of my values.

And when someone rejects that part of themselves, it feels like they’ve rejected a part of me too.

So yeah… I ghosted her.
Not because she wasn’t amazing, but because something in me went cold.

You are a very unserious person. If you needed a real traditional Igbo girl as your wife, why not go to the shrine in your village and pick one of the Village Maidens there in the shrine?

Content Creator

MikeofKd:
Send me her contact , i like girls like that.

tobeezman,
Please send this brother the Contact.
he is interested.

IgOga:
And why are you telling us?

As long as you don't regret your decision. Keep it to yourself.

Guilt is the Reason...

Another rubbish moonlight tale

Gracefilled01:
I am a black lady myself and it’s difficult to see blacks here. Hence I approached her as someone of same color and race, which she knows quite well, but somehow isn’t proud of her race. Blacks face racial discrimination here so I understand her, but it would have made sense if I was white or something. I’m black, just like her!

According to you, she denied her African ancestry. Ethnicity is different from race. She sees herself as an African American, rightfully so, as she was raised in the US, not in Congo. Two, African Americans have better rep compared to Black Africans and more so in places with few Black people. Her American accent and passport would take her places that many Black Africans wouldn't gain easy access. Three, she would likely face less discrimination because she is an American, even though she is phenotypically Black.

I am curious, which region did you see her?

why didnt you type this nonsense in igbo? mr igbotic

tobeezman:
I met this fine geh at a tech event in Lagos.
Before the event started, we had a little chit-chat and mehn, she was exactly my type. Beautiful, intelligent, confident, and we just clicked. You know that kind of connection that feels like you’ve known someone for years? Yeah, that was it.

Throughout the event, we kept vibing, laughing at the same jokes, sharing ideas, everything just aligned.

At the end, I asked for her name she said Linda.
Cool name.

Then I asked where she was from, she said Anambra.
My eyes lit up. I’m from Anambra too!

So I got curious and asked, “What village?”
She mentioned it and boom, it’s in the same local government as mine. I was like, “This is fate.”

Everything was lining up perfectly.
She was single, I’m single, we shared interests, goals, and background… until one tiny moment changed everything.

She gave me her business card and I didn’t see a single Igbo name on it.
Both her first and last names were English.

When I got home, I texted her, I asked, gently, “Don’t you have an Igbo name?”

Her reply?

“I don’t like my Igbo name, and I don’t like speaking Igbo either.”

That one message drained everything I felt for her.
Instantly.

It wasn’t about tribal pride or anything dramatic, it was just the realization that we might see identity differently.
Because for me, being Igbo isn’t just where I’m from, it’s who I am. It’s the rhythm in my thoughts, the tone in my laughter, the root of my values.

And when someone rejects that part of themselves, it feels like they’ve rejected a part of me too.

So yeah… I ghosted her.
Not because she wasn’t amazing, but because something in me went cold.

OvertheTop:
tobeezman,
Please send this brother the Contact.
he is interested.

till cork grows tiff

Originalsly:
According to you .... she said she does not like her name and she does not like speaking Igbo.

It was automatic for you to ask her why instead of ghosting her. How can you not ask her? ... that's the common sense follow up question? Instead you jump to conclusion and wasn't even man enough to tell her why the friendship has to end . If she later marries out of her tribe I'm sure you will join the bashing of Igbo professional women for not choosing their tribesmen.

Many people do not like their name ... that's common. She used her name on her business card ... is it the same name on her certificates? Is it the same name she used for the registration of her business? Is it the same name she uses for official business? She is wayyyy more business savvy than you. If she uses an Igbo name on her business card .... then the reality in Nigeria is she would be limiting herself to Igbo clients only. If she uses an English name she will be attracting more clients from all tribes because of the foreign is better mentality. She does not like speaking Igbo can be for the same reason .... she can lose clients who do not like Igbos. She is trying to stay neutral....it is good for business. That does not mean she has distanced herself from or rejected her culture. If it's not too late ...I suggest you call her up ... let her know what went down and ask for another chance. But on the other hand ... she may not accept since she would reason if you can ghost her because of name ...what else would you ghost her for if she picks up the relationship?;

A man may want five things in a relationship ... he usually settles for three ....to get four he considers the woman his soul mate. To get all five is God sent but God rarely sends. You had four but be looking for five. Gooood luck.

@ the bolded.

THISSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

This is my thoughts exactly.

As a corporate person, you're absolutely spot on. I have multiple names from various tribes and I use them accordingly in different settings. My first name is English and I use it strictly for work business as I've come to understand that humans are tribal in nature and I want to maintain neutrality.

Using that strategy has helped me in relating with people and closing deals in the corporate world. It doesn't mean I am ashamed to be associated with my culture.

folake4u:
@ the bolded.

THISSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

This is my thoughts exactly.

As a corporate person, you're absolutely spot on. I have multiple names from various tribes and I use them accordingly in different settings. My first name is English and I use it strictly for work business as I've come to understand that humans are tribal in nature and I want to maintain neutrality.

Using that strategy has helped me in relating with people and closing deals in the corporate world. It doesn't mean I am ashamed to be associated with my culture.

which is what cosmas maduka did when he named his business coscharis

GloriousGbola:
which is what cosmas maduka did when he named his business coscharis

This right here.

People need to look at the bigger picture sometimes instead of unnecessary sentiments.

Honestly speaking, I have learnt a lot from the comments here. The lady in question has also seen my post before I even reached out to her today. Sometimes we conclude too quickly. I feel bad for concluding way too fast. Although I now understand her reason for not using her igbo name on her business card, but I still believe nobody should be ashamed to speak their native language especially when they can speak the language. Let love lead! ya gazie! shalom.

SpencerForbes:
You're chasing perfection, but let's be real, we're all works in progress - guys and gals alike. If you're holding out for that flawless Igbo babe who's smart and checks every box, you might be waiting a while.

So, are you saying if you meet a chill, caring, intelligent lady, you'd pass just because she's Yoruba? Sounds like there's more to the story, or maybe you just didn’t like her.
🚶‍♂️

You are just blabbing trash, what are you even saying

diogo23:
You are just blabbing trash, what are you even saying

Sometimes just reading to the end of the thread might actually help than quoting because you want to be noticed.
Now swerve🍹
🚶‍♂️