₦airaland Forum

So You Want a Divorce? Read This Before You Shout “I’m Done!”

A lot of people don’t know this — before any Nigerian court grants you a divorce, the judge must be 100% sure that your children’s welfare has been properly provided for.

It’s not just about saying “I’ll take care of them.” You have to prove you’ve made plans for:
Accommodation
Education
Welfare & Upbringing

Now here’s the gist that shocks many people

If the kids are still small, the court usually gives custody to the mother — except there’s something serious like:

Insanity

Child cruelty

Infectious disease

Moral misconduct

Or no means of income

But gender also matters o!
Girl child? Most likely with the mother.
Boy child? Most likely with the father.

Still, the mother can argue that staying with the father isn’t in the boy’s best interest — for example, if the new stepmother might mistreat him.

At the end of the day, the court looks at the conduct of both parents.
If Daddy is known for beating the kids too hard — custody denied.
If Mummy is known for prostitution — custody denied.

Bottom line?
There’s no law in Nigeria that says only mothers or fathers can get custody.
Both parents have equal rights — unless there’s a strong reason not to.

And oh — once a child is over 21, forget custody. The law says they’re grown.

What do you think? Should custody decisions really depend on the child’s gender? Or should it always go to whoever can care better — man or woman?[b][/b]

Naijalegal:
✓ What do you think? Should custody decisions really depend on the child’s gender? Or should it always go to whoever can care better — man or woman?[b][/b]

In Nigeria where there is no sex offender registry, I think it should remain based on child gender at least. However, if any of the parents have previous criminal charges, that should also be considered especially if sex crime.

A lot of people don’t know this — before any Nigerian court grants you a divorce, the judge must be 100% sure that your children’s welfare has been properly provided for.
It’s not just about saying “I’ll take care of them.” You have to prove you’ve made plans for:
Accommodation
Education
Welfare & Upbringing

This is true. I had to declare on oath what I would be doing for my children.

And oh — once a child is over 21, forget custody. The law says they’re grown.

Age 17 to be precise. At this age, a child can decide which of the parents they want to stay with.

Naijalegal:
So You Want a Divorce? Read This Before You Shout “I’m Done!”

A lot of people don’t know this — before any Nigerian court grants you a divorce, the judge must be 100% sure that your children’s welfare has been properly provided for.

It’s not just about saying “I’ll take care of them.” You have to prove you’ve made plans for:
Accommodation
Education
Welfare & Upbringing

Now here’s the gist that shocks many people

If the kids are still small, the court usually gives custody to the mother — except there’s something serious like:

Insanity

Child cruelty

Infectious disease

Moral misconduct

Or no means of income

But gender also matters o!
Girl child? Most likely with the mother.
Boy child? Most likely with the father.

Still, the mother can argue that staying with the father isn’t in the boy’s best interest — for example, if the new stepmother might mistreat him.

At the end of the day, the court looks at the conduct of both parents.
If Daddy is known for beating the kids too hard — custody denied.
If Mummy is known for prostitution — custody denied.

Bottom line?
There’s no law in Nigeria that says only mothers or fathers can get custody.
Both parents have equal rights — unless there’s a strong reason not to.

And oh — once a child is over 21, forget custody. The law says they’re grown.

What do you think? Should custody decisions really depend on the child’s gender? Or should it always go to whoever can care better — man or woman?[b][/b]

Also, the divorce process takes almost forever 😥😥😥.

I prefer my kids staying with there mother.. My daughter self no fit survive 1 week without there mom even when she knows I can buy her anything.. Mothers always win..

While it may be best for a daughter to remain primarily with her mother, I believe a son, by a certain age even before ten years should live with his father. This critical period is essential for a father to mentor his son, guiding him to become a man of even greater character than himself.

This mentorship should focus on teaching him how to navigate the world independently, value teamwork, and make logical decisions without being overly emotional. It is also crucial to teach him not to become emotionally dependent in his relationships.
My personal believe is that the absence of this kind of guidance is why so many modern men have lost touch with the proud foundations of African masculinity.

Critical thinking everyone is entitled to his/her opinion[color=#990000][/color]

Obapluto:
I prefer my kids staying with there mother.. My daughter self no fit survive 1 week without there mom even when she knows I can buy her anything.. Mothers always win..

Obapluto:
I prefer my kids staying with there mother.. My daughter self no fit survive 1 week without there mom even when she knows I can buy her anything.. Mothers always win..

In that case, joint custody of the children would be in their best interest and I hope your wife demands this.

lilsmart:
✓ While it may be best for a daughter to remain primarily with her mother, I believe a son, by a certain age even before ten years should live with his father. This critical period is essential for a father to mentor his son, guiding him to become a man of even greater character than himself.
[b]This mentorship should focus on teaching him how to navigate the world independently, value teamwork, and make logical decisions without being overly emotional. It is also crucial to teach him not to become emotionally dependent in his relationships.
My personal believe is that the absence of this kind of guidance is why so many modern men have lost touch with the proud foundations of African masculinity.
Critical thinking everyone is entitled to his/her [/b]opinion[color=#990000][/color]

This notion regarding sons needing to live with their fathers alone after a certain age is equAlly wrong. Your children need to be neutered by both parents and to this end having shared custody will provide them a better balance than having just the one parent handled them alone.
Mentorship got even a boy child should best come from both the male and female guardians since he will hand up live in a world that is compromised of at least both genders.

Kobojunkie:
In that case, joint custody of the children would be in their best interest and I hope your wife demands this.

lol.. I can't divorce my woman.. No weapon formed against us shall prosper lol

For those I sent invitation last month, kindly erase Amaka and put Ungozi

Same time same venue

🥱🥱🥱

Obapluto:
lol.. I can't divorce my woman.. No weapon formed against us shall prosper lol

Most of the people now divorced also said something similar. Staying when the situation becomes harmful or toxic will get you no medals here. it is knowing when to leave for the best of both parties in the marriage that is the measure of one's intelligence. 🥱🥱🥱

My position is that a child's (sons) primary residence should be with the father, who serves as a crucial mentor. I'm not advocating for separating the child from their mother that relationship is vital. However, a child needs a stable, guiding figure who has firsthand experience with the challenges they will encounter. While a mentor can be anyone, a father who is present and engaged is uniquely positioned to provide that guidance. Therefore, the child's main address should be with the father, from where they can maintain a strong relationship with their mother.

Critical thinking everybody's entitled to his/her opinion

Kobojunkie:
This notion regarding sons needing to live with their fathers alone after a certain age is equAlly wrong. Your children need to be neutered by both parents and to this end having shared custody will provide them a better balance than having just the one parent handled them alone.
Mentorship got even a boy child should best come from both the male and female guardians since he will hand up live in a world that is compromised of at least both genders.

Kobojunkie:
Most of the people now divorced also said something similar. Staying when the situation becomes harmful or toxic will get you no medals here. it is knowing when to leave for the best of both parties in the marriage that is the measure of one's intelligence. 🥱🥱🥱

lol.
I know u are bittered already.. We ain't talking about toxic marriage but divorce and who's suppose to be in custody of the kids.. I said my own opinion that even if it happens to me.. I will give the kids to there mother.. I don't understand your own

Obapluto:
lol.
I know u are bittered already.. We ain't talking about toxic marriage but divorce and who's suppose to be in custody of the kids.. I said my own opinion that even if it happens to me.. I will give the kids to there mother.. I don't understand your own

A lot of times, one can immediately tell those commenting from a place of delusion or denial. 🥱🥱🥱

lilsmart:
✓ My position is that a child's (sons) primary residence should be with the father, who serves as a crucial mentor. I'm not advocating for separating the child from their mother that relationship is vital. However, a child needs a stable, guiding figure who has firsthand experience with the challenges they will encounter. While a mentor can be anyone, a father who is present and engaged is uniquely positioned to provide that guidance. Therefore, the child's main address should be with the father, from where they can maintain a strong relationship with their mother.
✓ Critical thinking everybody's entitled to his/her opinion

A child needs a parent, not a mentor,during the formative years and it is best when both parents are involved regardless of whichever one of them is the primary parent. Obama was raised by his mother alone throw out his childhood. Are you insinuating he was not raised well because his father was not in the picture? 🥱🥱🥱

Anyway, if you wish to serve as a mentor instead of as a father then you probably want to wait until the boy reaches 16 or above. Be certain you at least are running your own company at that time so you at least stand apart from the average joe on the street calling themselves mentors to boys whose heads they then fill with the usual gobbledegook.

Critical thinking ability requires you at least know not to elevate what are opinions to the level of facts which are instead universal truths.

Kobojunkie:
A lot of times, one can immediately tell those commenting from a place of delusion or denial. 🥱🥱🥱

lol.. We know you already..

If your children don't look to you for guidance and see you as a mentor, it may be time to reflect on your relationship.

Kobojunkie:
A child needs a parent, not a mentor,during the formative years and it is best when both parents are involved regardless of whichever one of them is the primary parent. Obama was raised by his mother alone throw out his childhood. Are you insinuating he was not raised well because his father was not in the picture? 🥱🥱🥱

Anyway, if you wish to serve as a mentor instead of as a father then you probably want to wait until the boy reaches 16 or above. Be certain you at least are running your own company at that time so you at least stand apart from the average joe on the street calling themselves mentors to boys whose heads they then fill with the usual gobbledegook.

Critical thinking ability requires you at least know not to elevate what are opinions to the level of facts which are instead universal truths.

lilsmart:
If your children don't look to you for guidance and see you as a mentor, it may be time to reflect on your relationship.

This mentality here explains why the average Nigerian youth remains a spitting image of their fathers and we all see where that has put the nation as a whole. 🥱🥱

Your generalization is not just inaccurate, it's uninspired. My father, a pharmacist, was my only mentor, and his guidance is the very reason I've surpassed him. I am now an aeronautical engineer on the verge of publishing research that will impact the entire aviation world. When you speak of 'the average Nigerian youth,' you seem to be describing a mirror. Do not mistake your reflection for mine. I am a proud Benin man, born and raised in Niger State, and the values instilled in me are the foundation of my success. In a way, even your skepticism has become a fuel for my ambition.

Let me ask you. how many Nigerian youth have you met in your life that you're speaking for the average Nigeria You

You assume every Nigerian youth is like you and yours? the kind who is satisfied with just seeing daily food, contributing nothing more. But you are a minority. I have met countless courageous Nigerian youths seeking knowledge and building a real future in this country. Be rest assured better days are coming zero panic

Kobojunkie:
This mentality here explains why the average Nigerian youth remains a spitting image of their fathers and we all see where that has put the nation as a whole. 🥱🥱

Know when to call it quit before is too late