₦airaland Forum

Gerrard59:
lol



I am unmarried, but I understand the reason you asked, and the bolded part concerns me. If the man takes up the full financial responsibility of the family, what does the woman use her money for? Why work and earn when it is not spent on the family?

But you don't understand his reason for not wanting to do chores and expecting to share bills?

grandiose4ever:
Hello everyone,

I have begun to think about getting married.

But for some reason I don't fully understand what to expect or what is fully expected of me as a man in the area of finances.

So I'm asking the following questions to matured married men and women to get clarity?

In your own family

1. If the wife is working class, Is it expected that the man pays 100% of the rent?

2. If the wife is working class, is it expected she contributes towards children school fees or the man pays 100%?

3. If the wife contributes financially, is there an expectation that the man does chores? (Ps I don't want to do any chores in this life apart from occasional cooking lol).

4. If the wife contributes financially how does it affect the decision making in the family?

The last question is ONLY for married men who share bills?

5a. Do you feel respectedby your wife when you share bills with her?

*5b. If you don't share bills with your wife and she keeps 100% of her earnings to herself, what do you think is the purpose of a woman working?

I'd appreciate if the mods can help me get a wider audience by putting on front page. Thanks!

i don't share bills with my wife because I believe it's nonsense, no wife will respect a husband sharing bills. When I call her she answers, sir!she still has her business though and she's worth several millions

pocohantas:
He is not yet ready.
He is looking for the good wife that will do chores and childminding alone while sharing bills with him. Married single mother.

She must do all the chore even if she's sharing the bills, am I not her husband, did I not marry her and bring her under my roof, does she not bear my surname ,let her misbehave she would be sent packing to her father's house bringing shame and reproach unto her family

What nonsense
Rubbish

grandiose4ever:
Hello everyone,

I have begun to think about getting married.

But for some reason I don't fully understand what to expect or what is fully expected of me as a man in the area of finances.

So I'm asking the following questions to matured married men and women to get clarity?

In your own family

1. If the wife is working class, Is it expected that the man pays 100% of the rent?

2. If the wife is working class, is it expected she contributes towards children school fees or the man pays 100%?

3. If the wife contributes financially, is there an expectation that the man does chores? (Ps I don't want to do any chores in this life apart from occasional cooking lol).

4. If the wife contributes financially how does it affect the decision making in the family?

The last question is ONLY for married men who share bills?

5a. Do you feel respectedby your wife when you share bills with her?

*5b. If you don't share bills with your wife and she keeps 100% of her earnings to herself, what do you think is the purpose of a woman working?

I'd appreciate if the mods can help me get a wider audience by putting on front page. Thanks!

If the woman was raised to take care of her needs herself, she will have no problem sharing the bills with her husband but if she was raised with entitlement mentality, then she wouldn't find sharing bills as a cool thing.

I and my husband share the bills and we're very cool with it.

Although he does more, I just take up the little I could.

I can't feel useless in my home, that's how I was raised.

So choose your wife wisely.

So many Horsebands here proudly carrying all the weight. Both funny and sad.

JESHAL007:
She must do all the chore even if she's sharing the bills, am I not her husband, did I not marry her and bring her under my roof, does she not bear my surname ,let her misbehave she would be sent packing to her father's house bringing shame and reproach unto her family

What nonsense
Rubbish

Even better, because some of your wives look like bonga fish due to stress. The sidechicks you spend your monies on, do they do chores? It is only on wives una wickedness dey activate.

pocohantas:
But you don't understand his reason for not wanting to do chores and expecting to share bills?

Sharing bills when he does not want to partake in chores does not make sense to me. That is why I did not focus on the aspect.
But so far, many married men on the thread have made it seem like the woman's money is solely hers, which does not sit well with me.

Fine, the man takes 100% financial responsibility. The woman works/runs a thriving business and makes good money. What does she use that money for? Who and who does she spend it on?

Write out all outgoing bills, and share..... If she/he is not working/or own a business, unfortunately the unemployed person pays 100%.......

Why would a husband/wife, refuse to work to support their family.......

It's their family, they should support equally, financially, childcare and home chores.......

As a responsible husband, who's in his right sesnse, don't even think of it, or mention it that your wife should pay part of bill with you.
It's a foolish idea, it's total nonsense, even disgusting.
It's a responsibility of a man to cater for the entire family 100%, even if your wife earns higher than you.
It's only left to her, if she wills, to support you.
On your question that if the wife contributes financially how does it affect the decision making in the family? You definitely loose your respect and you becomes her subject.

wellmax:
Same here but it’s very unreasonable of women.

My woman will rather I go into debt than spend her own money. It’s ridiculous and making me lost every form of love.

Wow!

Na wetin I dey talk be this. So, what does she spend her money on?

Gerrard59:
Sharing bills when he does not want to partake in chores does not make sense to me. That is why I did not focus on the aspect.
But so far, many married men on the thread have made it seem like the woman's money is solely hers, which does not sit well with me.

Fine, the man takes 100% financial responsibility. The woman works/runs a thriving business and makes good money. What does she use that money for? Who and who does she spend it on?

What is he using his time and energy for since he doesn't want to share chores? You saw them say they don't share bills and some of them clearly said they have no business with chores. Who and who do they use their energies for?

Time is money. He conserves his time+energy, she conserves her money.

Lucky you but don't relax.

Adesina18111:
Been married for over 4 years now with a child... My wife and I have never sat down for once to share how we pay bills but to be honest, she is so supportive even right from boyfriend and girlfriend days... I wouldn't have gone ahead to marry her if she is the type of ladies that only bring sex to the table...we don't share bills but we both pay bills...the scope is, we both have a joint account apart from our individual acct (business and savings)... And that's for running our home... What we do is we both transfer money to the joint account from the profit we make every month.. we only spend based on the profit made and not to satisfy our needs... Our child comes first, then foodstuffs, house maintenance bills (electricity, Dstv payment and other miscellaneous), car maintenance and fuel, followed by individual REASONABLE needs...we hardly send money to extended family members except it is MOST IMPORTANT... even if my mother in law ask money from my wife, she would tell her to wait until month end and see what she can do... She will discuss it with me and we both make decisions...it's been God anyways

My opinion is not needed here because I follow the old rules. Don't bother to ask me the old rules.

bentenny:
Do not share bills with your wife no matter her financial muscle....esp house rent and children's school fees!
If she wants to assist,make sure it's voluntary and limited to house stuffs!

I share bill with my wife and she isn't complaining, even the house we live in here in lag she bought the land in my name and our relationship is blessed with four children. Remember, just because of sharing that's why's called marriage!

Hismajesty44:
I share bill with my wife and she isn't complaining, even the house we live in here in lag she bought the land in my name and our relationship is blessed with four children. Remember, just because of sharing that's why's called marriage!

Sir you are one in a million, most women would disrespect their husbands if they share the bills

Hismajesty44:
I share bill with my wife and she isn't complaining, even the house we live in here in lag she bought the land in my name and our relationship is blessed with four children. Remember, just because of sharing that's why's called marriage!

Such women rarely submit and give the authority to their husbands

pocohantas:
What is he using his time and energy for since he doesn't want to share chores? You saw them say they don't share bills and some of them clearly said they have no business with chores. Who and who do they use their energies for?

Time is money. He conserves his time+energy, she conserves her money.

I thought about it, and it sounds like a fair arrangement. It works well.

Banhammy717:
As a responsible husband, who's in his right sesnse, don't even think of it, or mention it that your wife should pay part of bill with you.
It's a foolish idea, it's total nonsense, even disgusting.
It's a responsibility of a man to cater for the entire family 100%, even if your wife earns higher than you.
It's only left to her, if she wills, to support you.
On your question that if the wife contributes financially how does it affect the decision making in the family? You definitely loose your respect and you becomes her subject.

God bless you sir

JESHAL007:
She must do all the chore even if she's sharing the bills, am I not her husband, did I not marry her and bring her under my roof, does she not bear my surname ,let her misbehave she would be sent packing to her father's house bringing shame and reproach unto her family

What nonsense
Rubbish

All these naive boys always forming tough sha. You think the shame won't touch you if she leaves? You go wear the shame like agbada especially when its public knowledge that it's your brash behaviour that chased your wife out of your house. You go dey wish for ground to open up and swallow you as you dey waka for road. I know this because I'm witnessing something very similar in my location. Gone are the days when the blame of a failed marriage is heaped on the woman.

ReacherSaidNoth:
So many Horsebands here proudly carrying all the weight. Both funny and sad.

Share bills with your wife and see as she disrespects you

JESHAL007:
Such women rarely submit and give the authority to their husbands

One of the many reasons why these women misbehave is due to what most guys post on SM, just like most contributions here are misleading and negatively supportive to female gender bad attitude.

Mine na with vibes... I do ALL I possibly can and she does any part of the rest she can afford to.

Gerrard59:
I thought about it, and it sounds like a fair arrangement. It works well.

Yes, it works if both are true to themselves.

Many men and women are hypocrites. They want a full provider and they don't want to be homemakers. They want a homemaker and expect her to do 50:50. Unfair arrangement.

dominique:
All these naive boys always forming tough sha. You think the shame won't touch you if she leaves? You go wear the shame like agbada especially when its public knowledge that it's your brash behaviour that chased your wife out of your house. You go dey wish for ground to open up and swallow you as you dey waka for road. I know this because I'm witnessing something very similar in my location. Gone are the days when the blame of a failed marriage is heaped on the woman.

Divorced women end up as single moms, single moms are the most shamed set of women in today Nigeria society

Women suffer more from divorce than men

pocohantas:
Yes, it works if both are true to themselves.

Many men and women are hypocrites. They want a full provider and they don't want to be homemakers. They want a homemaker and expect her to do 50:50. Unfair arrangement.

Our grandmother's worked on farms with their children while our grandfather's sipped palm wine and co ordinated their household, modern women are just lazy, they want to just enjoy themselves

dominique:
All these naive boys always forming tough sha. You think the shame won't touch you if she leaves? You go wear the shame like agbada especially when its public knowledge that it's your brash behaviour that chased your wife out of your house. You go dey wish for ground to open up and swallow you as you dey waka for road. I know this because I'm witnessing something very similar in my location. Gone are the days when the blame of a failed marriage is heaped on the woman.

Modern women would just be forming feministic, they don't know their role in marriage again, it's wrong, I'm protecting you, you do chores

Just yesterday, I gave my Wife N25k to cook soup for the weekend and guess what, when she came back from the market she said darling things were damm expensive in the market and I borrowed you N7k, imagine borrowed fme or the food both us us would eat o.

Some bills are 100% on the women.. so this lady her spouse that lost his job will now use the little he is supposed to bring to the house,to gallivant with small small girls .the wife in question covers this man's lapses so people won't know she is the one footing the bill..some men are so ungrateful ..

breathless:
1. If the wife is working class, Is it expected that the man pays 100% of the rent?
ANS: Yes. You are expected to "chest" the full rent. That's 100% your responsibility. Remember you took her from her father's house where she knows nothing about paying or sharing rent. However, wisdom dictates that you get an accommodation that's within your means and make projections for future increase.
2. If the wife is working class, is it expected she contributes towards children school fees or the man pays 100%?
ANS You pay the school fees 100% bro. Again, choose a school you can afford and get the termly bill and pay directly yourself. Make no mistake of giving her the money to pay. If she does pay, it should be voluntary or freewill and ensure you reimburse her as soon as you can. However, if she's "magnanimous", she may take care of some things like the child(ren)'s lunch pack/box(es), extra clothing etc.
3. If the wife contributes financially, is there an expectation that the man does chores? (Ps I don't want to do any chores in this life apart from occasional cooking lol).
ANS This can occur especially of your spouse is not the "domesticated" type. She can use it as an opportunity to "rope" you into doing chores. That's when you'll be called to "bring out the food in the freezer to microwave for yourself or the children because she's running late getting home". Trust me, women have ways of making you do things you ordinarily will frown at but you won't due to the circumstances. However, try make yourself useful when at home by taking on some chores intermittently like clearing cobwebs , help iron her clothes for church while she's in the bathroom , clearing and washing dishes together as a way of bonding etc.
4. If the wife contributes financially how does it affect the decision making in the family?
ANS You don't get to make decision by fiat but through dialogue and compromise (which can sometime hurt your ego)
The last question is ONLY for married men who share bills?
I don't share bills with my spouse but she supports voluntarily especially when she senses I'm not financially buoyant and I make up for it in KIND.
5a. Do you feel respected by your wife when you share bills with her?
ANS During my "downtime", I had to reorientate my mind that she was earning her money with my name and what she
*5b. If you don't share bills with your wife and she keeps 100% of her earnings to herself, what do you think is the purpose of a woman working?
ANS Don't go into marriage with this mindset bro. Women want some level of "freedom and independence" including their finances. Let her spend her income the way she deems fit. That's a way to know if she's a good or bad with finances and to what extent you can trust with your finances or that of the family.

As an added bonus, I suggest you both have this conversation not with the mind of sharing financial responsibilities but to build and secure your future financially. Have a goal or plan and be committed to it wholeheartedly. For instance, if you earn more, you can suggest to her to use her income to run the home while yours is put into capital projects like securing landed properties, setting up and running a family business etc.

All the best.

As plausible as your view is, this is not a manual to a successful marriage. This mindset is in fact the reason why marriages these days are doomed to fail.
What is the idea of being life partners, if both parties are working, yet only one shoulders the financial burden?
What exactly is the woman keeping her own money for?

Most men are married to women who are good earners, yet when they need to sort out simple domestic issues they resort to friends for help, while their wives have the means.
Why then is she your partner?

The advantages of partners pulling their resources together cannot be overemphasized.
You make better financial decisions, and achieve more as a family.

There's no law that says a man must foot the bills 100% where his spouse is also earning. It shouldn't be a matter of discretion on the part of the woman. She must be ready to bear a financial cross in the family too, except she is not working.

So too it is with chores, a man must contribute too, whether the wife earns or not.

translux:
Just yesterday, I gave my Wife N25k to cook soup for the weekend and guess what, when she came back from the market she said darling things were damm expensive in the market and I borrowed you N7k, imagine borrowed fme or the food both us us would eat o.

LOL.
😂😂😂