₦airaland Forum

SpencerForbes:
Not directed at me, but I’d like to throw something in: You cannot ascertain her past unless she volunteers the information. Her inner circle (friends and sisters) will not reveal her secrets unless there is bad blood between them. Always remember: women network and protect each other's secrets.

Can a leopard change its spots? No. She is likely using that narrative as a net to catch unsuspecting victims. She isn't changing her spots; she is merely hiding them to secure a commitment. The 'good girl' act is often a net to catch a victim. Once the marriage is locked in, the pretense ends. This leads to the unhappy homes we see today, where wives return to their old ways to satisfy their desires.

Can they truly change? Yes. What is the percentage? Very few. Would you love to gamble with your future at stake? The choice is all yours.

SpencerForbes:
Not directed at me, but I’d like to throw something in: You cannot ascertain her past unless she volunteers the information. Her inner circle (friends and sisters) will not reveal her secrets unless there is bad blood between them. Always remember: women network and protect each other's secrets.

Can a leopard change its spots? No. She is likely using that narrative as a net to catch unsuspecting victims. She isn't changing her spots; she is merely hiding them to secure a commitment. The 'good girl' act is often a net to catch a victim. Once the marriage is locked in, the pretense ends. This leads to the unhappy homes we see today, where wives return to their old ways to satisfy their desires.

Can they truly change? Yes. What is the percentage? Very few. Would you love to gamble with your future at stake? The choice is all yours.

Rizzputin:
You can ALWAYS know a woman's past without her telling you.

One of my favourite quotes is from Sigmund Freud (a world renowned behavioural psychologist expert):

"No mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore."

Red pill guys and a lot of men laughably see women as some mischievous genius that can keep secrets like FBI. What they dont realize is that they're simply inexperienced.

I always tell guys red flags of a past hòe are ALWAYS there, if you how to look for them and what to look for.

I've NEVER been wrong about this too. The beauty of this is that you will NEVER be able to know without loads of experience. No book, no podcast, no video can teach you what experience will in this situation

That's why guys obsess over silly things like checking her phone, following her etc. Because they're not experienced enough to see the truth staring them in the face. All those things are just Marks of an insecure man. Once you have the urge to "investigate" your woman's phone or social media... you've already lost. Take it from me.

Guys have it backwards. It's NOT "I checked her phone and saw she cheated women are sneaky"

Rather, it IS "You checked her phone because your gut told you she was cheating... which means you were losing from a long time"

In summary, just do the work. Nothing good comes easy. The idea some guys delude themselves they can master female psychology from reading books (and watching videos) is truly comical.

emmaodet:
That is why i always laugh guys boasting about their sexual prowess.
If you like, knack your girl from Gwagalada to Mile 2, if you don't cover your side, the average woman will disgrace you.
All the days of your life, you will be insecured - where is your woman going, who is calling her, why hasn't she come back from market etc
Cover your side bro

gentlegiant95:
Guys i have a question; I usually hear that women are very good at hiding the different men that they're seeing from each other, how true is that? I ask this because there's this lady I'm in a "relationship" with, I have evidence that she's seeing other people, I have even seen a dirty chat of her and someone she claimed is just a friend in the past, stopped talking to her,she begged me n after sometime started seeing her again. As a result of that I decided that I won't fully commit myself to the "ship" cos I'm not the only person in her life. So she basically carries the whole thing. Calls me daily or every other day, I barely call. She has invested in me in different little ways, cooks for me, parted with her cash etc. I wanted to know could it be that I'm her best option, in spite of the fact that I'm younger than she is, though I'm not financially stable yet. I don't even have a place of my own yet, we regularly meet in a hotel, which sometimes she contributes to the bills and also brings food for me or buys stuff when she comes. What do u guys think?

gentlegiant95:
I've asked severally for her to open up to me and tell me if she's seeing other persons, so we can be clear on what we're doing, atleast so i can start protecting my self (we usually have unprotected sex) but she wouldn't budge, even after I saw her chats with that guy, she claims she's had nothing with him which is hard to believe, and I've also seen a recent chat on her phone in which she referred to someone she says is her brother as "my love"

Kipaji:
What does "cover your side" mean?

gentlegiant95:
I wouldn't have had a problem of continuing to smash but I'm concerned about my health, she has said different times that she can't let me use a condom on her. I got her to do an sti test after I saw the dirty chats with the guy she says is just a friend, now I want her to do another one after the recent chats I saw of her. I mentioned it to her to run the test and she rebuffed it saying she's clean, doesn't have money and other excuses. I want to bring it up again in the coming week, because salary will be paid, how do I go about it

Trouble is staring at you dead on, you're still asking questions

emmaodet:


It means watch out for yourself in a relationship and don't get carried away with the euphoria of lovey-dovey.
Don't forget to constantly invest in yourself nor lose the long term goal of earning a decent income and be able to pay your bills within your level.
A man in a position of option/abundance will be able to negotiate better in a relationship and have low tolerance for bullshits nor dramas becuase if shit hits the fan, he can easily and quietly replace his woman without any brouhaha and life simply moves on as if nothing happens.
Many men fall in these areas.
So, i ask you - Bros Kipaji, you don cover your side
Because as i dey so, i don cover my side oo

emmaodet:


It means watch out for yourself in a relationship and don't get carried away with the euphoria of lovey-dovey.
Don't forget to constantly invest in yourself nor lose the long term goal of earning a decent income and be able to pay your bills within your level.
A man in a position of option/abundance will be able to negotiate better in a relationship and have low tolerance for bullshits nor dramas becuase if shit hits the fan, he can easily and quietly replace his woman without any brouhaha and life simply moves on as if nothing happens.
Many men fall in these areas.
So, i ask you - Bros Kipaji, you don cover your side
Because as i dey so, i don cover my side oo

gentlegiant95:
Guys i have a question; I usually hear that women are very good at hiding the different men that they're seeing from each other, how true is that? I ask this because there's this lady I'm in a "relationship" with, I have evidence that she's seeing other people, I have even seen a dirty chat of her and someone she claimed is just a friend in the past, stopped talking to her,she begged me n after sometime started seeing her again. As a result of that I decided that I won't fully commit myself to the "ship" cos I'm not the only person in her life. So she basically carries the whole thing. Calls me daily or every other day, I barely call. She has invested in me in different little ways, cooks for me, parted with her cash etc. I wanted to know could it be that I'm her best option, in spite of the fact that I'm younger than she is, though I'm not financially stable yet. I don't even have a place of my own yet, we regularly meet in a hotel, which sometimes she contributes to the bills and also brings food for me or buys stuff when she comes. What do u guys think?

gentlegiant95:
I wouldn't have had a problem of continuing to smash but I'm concerned about my health, she has said different times that she can't let me use a condom on her. I got her to do an sti test after I saw the dirty chats with the guy she says is just a friend, now I want her to do another one after the recent chats I saw of her. I mentioned it to her to run the test and she rebuffed it saying she's clean, doesn't have money and other excuses. I want to bring it up again in the coming week, because salary will be paid, how do I go about it

gentlegiant95:
I wouldn't have had a problem of continuing to smash but I'm concerned about my health, she has said different times that she can't let me use a condom on her. I got her to do an sti test after I saw the dirty chats with the guy she says is just a friend, now I want her to do another one after the recent chats I saw of her. I mentioned it to her to run the test and she rebuffed it saying she's clean, doesn't have money and other excuses. I want to bring it up again in the coming week, because salary will be paid, how do I go about it

JESHAL007:
Scarcity

gentlegiant95:
For this one, I agree. Truth be told, I am indeed in scarcity, its not as if I don't know. I'm very red pill aware; I've been following this thread for a while and I know the nitty gritty of women nature. There's only one thing that's holding me back from optimising my options, and it's something I'm working on to fix by 1st quarter of next year latest. The thing though is I don't show it to her. I don't let her sense it, from the way I act. I'm not needy, I dont crave her attention. If anything she's the one that is always wanting to get my attention and I don't give it out to her all the time; In fact she's always complaining of me not calling her. In my mind I am just enjoying the moment but at the same time it dawned on me that she's not exclusive. I've not told her about the recent discovery, I just told her that we should run a test, that its something I always do periodically. So yeah, I will agree n I'm aware I'm in scarcity for now, but I'm not a simp neither am I beta. My plan is to enforce the boundary and if she's not OK with it, I'll walk away

JESHAL007:
Simp

JESHAL007:
Scarcity

JESHAL007:
Beta

Rizzputin:
or combination of three things:


- you didn't fùck her well
- you acted too in love with her after just one night
- her sis[quote author=Rizzputin post=137563061]One or combination of three things:


- you didn't fùck her well
- you acted too in love with her after just one night
- her sister suspects and she is advising her against you

gentlegiant95:
For this one, I agree. I'll walk away

SpencerForbes:
It’s actually funny how we always think the 80/20 Pareto rule only applies to guys (Alpha vs. Beta). The real mystery is that it applies just as much to women.

Let's be real: there's a big difference between feminine women and the modern "masculine" woman. The reality is that about 80% of women fall into that masculine category now.

Most of them won’t admit it, but they are likely going to end up marrying Beta males, becoming baby mamas, or staying single. Nature doesn't cheat.

The top-tier Alpha males? They are reserved for that exclusive 20% of ladies who are actually feminine. Unfortunately, most women are unaware of this dynamic until it is too late.

Meedon:
How are women masculine? Is it that they have six packs or muscles?

Smartb0y:
As a man, always follow and never doubt that gut feeling.

Trouble is staring at you dead on, you're still asking questions

PS: If it's any consolation,most Nigerian girls have multiple partners.
Always use protection else few moments can change the rest of your life.

If she refuses protection,dey your dey .

gentlegiant95:
I've asked severally for her to open up to me and tell me if she's seeing other persons, so we can be clear on what we're doing, atleast so i can start protecting my self (we usually have unprotected sex) but she wouldn't budge, even after I saw her chats with that guy, she claims she's had nothing with him which is hard to believe, and I've also seen a recent chat on her phone in which she referred to someone she says is her brother as "my love"

Benee1000:
For the religious guys interested in marriage or long term relationships, with religious ladies, please beware of the age long scam of their promise to fulfill all your sexual desires UNTIL after marriage. Especially the ones who claim to love you but totally avoid being sexual with you with the excuse that sex before marriage is sin. Do not fall for this seemingly upright but ultimately destructive scam, whether she's a virgin or not.

A woman's sexuality is more important than her religious beliefs when it comes to relationship & marriage.
Females are emotional beings as much as they're sexual beings, and religion doesn't change this.

A lady is a female first, before her religious beliefs.

Let me explain:

A lady who genuinely desires & is attracted to a man cannot help herself from being sexual with him, whether she's religious or not.
This genuine desire and attraction predisposes her to be in the feminine and automatically, sexual towards him.
They are incapable of controlling their lust for the man they desire, and desire, is an emotion, something felt and not intentional nor negotiated.

Have you ever wondered why sex with a lady in a highly emotional state (after a quarel, aka make up sex, or when she's excited, scared, sad and dejected, drunk, lonely etc.) is often very intense and pleasurable for her?

It's because Sex is directly proportional to a woman's emotions.

The more emotional she is, the more sexual she becomes.
The more logical or less emotional she Is, the less sexual she becomes.
The more emotionally expressive a lady is, the more sexually expressive she is (legends know this).

This is also why the easiest way to sleep with a lady is to make her Emotional.
Emotions opens up a woman sexually.
When her emotions are high, sex is not far away.

Females require emotions to enjoy sex.
And as such will seek an emotional connection with a man they're sexually attracted to.

Since desire is an emotion, and emotions opens up a woman sexually, a lady therefore can hardly control herself from being sexual with a man she genuinely desires because that desire makes her emotional, and emotions makes her sexual.

She could be a cold blooded nun to every other guy but burns hot for the man she's attracted to.
She may withhold sex for religious reasons but cannot control being sexual or romantic with him, and unless such a man can control himself, it's only a matter of time before sex happens.

Again, desire, my friends cannot be negotiated. If a lady doesn't desire you sexually, she simply doesn't, and therefore cannot attach to you emotionally.

There's always a level of emotional fulfilment and attachment in a lady when has sex with a man she sexually desires.
The strength of this attachment is strongest for the man who disvirgins her and the man who can give her earth shattering orgasms. They don't easily break up and forget this categories of men.
However, the more sexual partners a lady has had, the less the strength of this emotional attachment, and the less chance of her bonding emotionally with her next sexual partner.

A lady who is not attached to you emotionally is not a lady you want to get married to. Neither your money nor her religion can keep her loyal in such union.
This is the reason why most married women cheat, especially with their ex. They're still emotionally attached to that ex.

Moreover, sex with a lady who desires you sexually is at opposite ends to one which a lady does out of obligation.
The Former indulges her emotions, as well as her sexual fantasies, fetishes, and lustful desires, which easily takes her to the promised land (orgasm), and doesn't require stress from the man as only few minutes of penetration, or just caressing or touching her, or even just hearing his voice or seeing him, is enough to open her flood gates. It's how she feels emotionally about the guy that really matters.

The later, (obligational sex) is akin to prostitution and you go drill her hole taya before you see water, if you see at all, no matter the size of your drilling rig .
This is because it involves little to no emotions from her. She's doing it as her own duty in a business transaction. To get money or financial security from the man in return for the use of her coochie.

This is why the sex an olosho gives to a client is very different from the one she does with her boyfriend that she loves and is sexually attracted to.

For a female, sex borne out of desire (validational) is for her, to please herself, while sex due to obligation (transactional) is for the man, to please the man and get his resources in return.

Which one do you think you will enjoy more? The sex you beg or pay for and she agrees to so that peace will reign, while she barely partakes and simply lies down like a bag of beans as you pound away with a handy bottle of lubricant as drilling mud ,
or the one she looks forward to, begs you for and brings her A game so she can satisfy her sexual cravings with multiple orgasms?

The first is just like masturbating, but with a real person. The sex is like eating food to cure hunger but didn't savour the meal.

For the second, the pride, pleasure and satisfaction when a man cums after he has made the lady orgasm is on another level.
You feel like a king, the lady adores you and she feels like a Queen.
You satisfied your hunger, savoured the meal, and you look forward to the next meal.

If you are made to wait for sex, you will eventually discover that the sex was never worth the wait.
Because what you get at best after that wedding is obligatory sex, of which as soon as she gives birth to the first child, she fulfils only sparingly, because no woman really enjoys obligated sex, and that child is insurance of her financial security from you, while your obligation to provide as a man increases with each new birth.

Ever heard of women having sex time table for their husbands? This is the origin, obligation, void of desire. Desire can not be negotiated, it is spontaneous.

Moreover, since there's no emotional attachment involved in obligatory sex, the day you default on your own part of the deal (financial provision), or when she considers it insufficient, that is the day you lose your value and respect to her, including her loyalty to you.
She may not show it immediately, but with time, nagging, disrespect, disregard, sex deprivation and even cheating will creep into that marriage. she may even elope with your children sef.
Peace of mind will be very far from you, and your journey as a philosopher will be on full throttle . That is If she doesn't kill you so she can inherit your resources and go be with the man she really desires.

No man with a better past dies a simp.

So beware guys. If she demands that you must wait until after marriage for her to become sexual with you, abort mission.

Her marriage demand is not borne out of righteousness but rather a need for the security of your resources.
She's codedly offering sex in exchange for the resources that comes with your commitment.

Marrying such a lady is like marrying a prostitute, albeit a religious one, with you as the only customer, that is if she decides to be loyal to you.

Prostitution isn't about having multiple sexual partners, but wanting to be rewarded for sex. It is a mindset.

Marriage in itself, has little to do with love, it's all about resources. To make a man accountable for a woman and her offspring.
While this is necessary as a woman needs resources to properly cater for her offspring, a man don't need to be married to a lady to experience her love and sexual side.
That sexual side of her comes naturally when she meets a man she's genuinely attracted to.

Marriage doesn't automatically make a woman sexual towards you.

A lady who genuinely desires you won't even bring the idea of no sex without marriage to you, because
1) she would be so scared of loosing you to other ladies who wants you, especially when you're high value.
2) A lady has little to no control over her body for a man she sexually desires.
Only the man does. Only the man can determine whether sex will happen or not.

What she'd rather do if really serious about being chaste before marriage is to beg you not to take advantage of her sexually and help her keep herself whenever she's with you.
She knows she can't help it, and you only have to make the move for sex for it to happen.

Some ladies will even make the move for sex themselves, put their hope in you to resist, and will genuinely blame you when you fail to resist.

A lady who insists on a no sex before marriage most likely has other options, certainly doesn't desire you sexually, and definitely cannot attach to you emotionally.

A man who has to win a woman's affection, is already playing a lost game, and he'll pay dearly for it, when whatever won and sustained the woman's affection is no more.

A woman's affection, while very rare and priceless, comes free. It's a gift. Gifts are freely given, not bought.
However gifts are giving to those who are found worthy.

But here's the corollary;

No female proves her love for a man through sex or the promise of sex. The existence of prostitution should reveal this to you.

Sex to a lady is either for her pleasure, a service to be rendered for a price, a tool for manipulation, or a weapon for destruction.
If a lady is clever enough, all can be applied at the same time, to multiple men.

Sex is never a proof of love, neither is the offering of virginity.

Love is proven through giving and making sacrifices.
However, sexual attraction comes first, because while women can be sexually attracted to a man they don't love (their crush), they can only love a man they're sexually attracted to.

Marry a lady whose fertility is highly guaranteed (young virgin), can raise your children properly, can manage a home with the resources at both your disposal, and will be a useful companion, and not because marriage is the only way to have sex with her.

If a lady is not sexually into you, just forget about her other qualities and dey your lane.

Don't make the grave mistake many good men make by saying "she'd make a good wife cos she's a good person, and sex is not that important to me".

There's a big difference between a wife who finds you as her lover and a wife who only sees you as her husband and father of her children.
One makes a happy home irrespective of circumstances, and the other makes a peaceful home as long as you can provide.

Finally, A lady's personality and investments (financial, emotional,time, etc) in you is a better precision Instrument that should be used in your calculations to prove her worthiness for your commitment.

However, dealing with the female is a gamble. And while you can predict the odds of an outcome from your calculations to know where best to stake your commitment, nothing is guaranteed.

The only way a gambler is guaranteed not to lose is not to stake.