Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? - Romance - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Romance › Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? (1808 Views)
| Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by RealSolution001(op): 10:50am On Nov 28, 2025*. Modified: 2:49pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
Please I need you people's opinion on this. I feel my fiancée is demanding for too much. Recently we've been having issues over her demands. First of all, most days I work from home while she runs a shop. So maybe because I don't rush out of the house every morning, she now feels I should be doing certains things since I'm home. Recently, there was an issue that I should be washing her clothes. Can you imagine? That I don't love her or being romantic enough, that's why I have not been washing her clothes especially if I'm washing my own. Brothers, is it African that a man should be washing a woman's clothes? For that, she has stopped washing my own clothes if I cannot reciprocate her. Also, she is demanding I should be telling her "Thank you" after every meal she makes and I am like, thank you for what? After sweating so hard to make the money to provide the food, I should be thanking her again for cooking it? I don't know if she's right here but I find it hard to do that. I'm the one providing and I should still tell her thank you for cooking the meal that both of us are to eat? Another issue is that, the day I'm home while she returns, I should be rushing to the doorpost to welcome her, hug her and be so romantic in welcoming her. How does this sound? Not like I don't welcome her. If she comes in, we'll hug and embrace ourselves but to say I should be rushing to the doorpost or give her standing ovation, all that for what? I'm a proud African and I find it difficult to do all that. The other day when we wanted to eat, I jokingly carried the washing hand basin and gave to her to wash her hands but before she could dip her hands in, I returned the basin and she got so annoyed for not holding the water for her to wash her hands. That she can do it for me but why can't I do it for her? So many demands that I'm beginning to feel that if I give this woman the chance she's looking for, she might turn me into something I didn't grow up seeing my father do with my mother. Is she right on her demands and I am the bad guy here or she's trying to turn me to her play toy? What is your opinion on this? 1 Like |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by Phranx1: 11:08am On Nov 28, 2025 |
Two of una need herdsmen visitation, this country wey everywhere dey gbona Feli Feli naim una get time for this nonsense parole 16 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by Mikuni(m): 11:19am On Nov 28, 2025 |
You need two-by-two planking for yansh, first of all. After that, we fit still reason better wiping for your ear. 5 Likes |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by sofeo(m): 11:33am On Nov 28, 2025 |
There's one thing you need to understand about ladies / women, no matter their personality types, either nice, cool, temperamental, kind, loving...etc, they all seem to have a trait of manipulation in them, the level of manipulation found in a particular lady / woman will be determined about her personality type, her level of maturity and understanding and how God fearing she is. That being said, what I'm spotting here is someone trying to test you and also trying a bit of manipulation on you, and from your own side, you need to man up and be more rational, not in an aggressive manner that she will begin to fear you oo, but in a manner that she will understand you are a man of some values who wouldn't give space for a woman's shit in his home, no matter how little the level of manipulation from that woman, that's how a man earns respect. They usually pin their manipulation on their partner being romantic and caring, don't get it twisted, we ought to be romantic and caring to them, but we must do it with a rational and sane mind, that enables you to balance it. Any home that the manipulation of the woman in that home dominates the atmosphere, calamity awaits such home in the future, except if along the line, they allow God to come in and the fear of God dominate that home. I'm romantic to my woman, very romantic that she do go to lengths at times to do some things for me too, but I don't ever allow her manipulation to get to grow, as that will be dangerous for my home, which in turns not only earns me respect from her but also builds her confidents in me......that's when you begin to realize ladies / women know what they are doing and if you loose it to them as a man and things get worse, you are on your own, because they will come back pointing finger at you and might end up being dominated by an alpha male outside, and if God want to catch you, your woman should be weak to an extent. Just last week, we were talking about her siblings coming around, during the discussion, she made a funny statement that she trust me to give it to them in a way they deserve, should they try nonsense in the house, she said this because she knows I don't tolerate blackmailing and manipulation, and if such arises, I will politely handle it. I know when to be caring, I know when to be romantic, I know when to be loving, to an extent that the woman at the receiving end will loose it totally and helplessly, without any form of blackmailing or manipulation, but I set boundaries while also respecting women, no woman tries rubbish with you when you have that kind of nature. So it's left to you to man up and handle your home bro, if your story is real. 13 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by correctyourself(m): 11:40am On Nov 28, 2025 |
Don't start what you can't fish, Women used more clothes than Men, so , you can't continue washing her clothes. It's good for you washing your own and she needs to appreciate that. She should thank you for eating her food being the provider and the head. Such humility is required from her to grow as part of family traits. Example: if someone worked with her in her shop and she pays the person by hand, what would she expect from the person; thanks or walk away? Hugging and others it's ok! But I know it's because you have not start raising children yet that's why she still fancy special welcome 😂 otherwise, such attention goes to the children once they comes in with their mother. 2 Likes |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by Jaycobbs(m): 12:19pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
Is this a joke? God called woman a "help" meet/suitable for a man, so who's the man in this relationship? Who's helping who? Not saying you can't be caring with your partner. But demanding your husband to wash your clothes is all shades of wrong. Saying thank you is just pure courtesy and should be reciprocal. Appreciation is a love language, but it goes both ways. Does she thank you for providing the money? She should. And you should appreciate her for her contribution in the home, but not by her demanding it. The first thing a man needs in his own house is respect and this lady doesn't respect you. You need to have some serious conversations about this or start planning to part ways. 3 Likes |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by LIVINGICONREBOR: 12:20pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
Another tale from Uganda. Things that never happened.🥱 3 Likes |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by Mambox: 12:38pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
Back out now! Enough said!!!! |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by RealSolution001(op): 12:42pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
LIVINGICONREBOR:Bro abi sister, I'm kidding you not. This is 100% real. I mean very real. |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by Nobody: 1:20pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
I would have preferred to just watch this story unfold and see how it ends, but I feel compelled to drop a caveat based on observation. I have seen men who succumbed to demands regarding domestic chores early on, and I can tell you from experience that the day you normalize that dynamic is often the day the respect in the marriage begins to crumble. It is a slippery slope that starts with "Daddy, you cook so well," and quickly graduates to "Why isn't dinner ready? Don't you know I'm working too?" Personally, I made a vow never to engage in household chores under duress. If I choose to help, it must be an act of volition, not obligation. The moment it becomes a demand is the moment I withdraw that support. The reality is that consistency in these tasks is rarely appreciated; instead, it often shifts the power dynamic where the woman feels she has the upper hand. I know a man who went down this path—trying to be the "modern husband"—and today he is alone in the village without his wife and kids because she started earning more and he lost his footing as the head of the home. We must be realistic; the African context is different from the Western world. Fictional romance wasn’t created for an African man. There are distinct duties for a leader and for a follower. Choose your position wisely 6 Likes |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by ogaprime(m): 1:30pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
Abeg no go marry an immature under age o |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by Nazgul: 1:31pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
Na see finish dey cause all these things. When a relationship has no boundaries, disrespect will start creeping in. How person go come your house and expect you to wash her clothes or even demand appreciation after eating your food? That’s not love, that’s entitlement. And honestly, it shows she doesn’t rate you at all. You go even shock say there are guys younger than you that she calls Sir simply because of how they carry themselves. People respect who respects themselves and sets standards. If you don’t draw lines, someone else will draw them for you, and not in your favour. 7 Likes |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by MONEY247: 1:34pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
Irrelevant things.... The level of maturity.... Well if you are not married, and you are living together as married people... Doing married people things it's not really cool... |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by GloriousGbola: 1:40pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
Nazgul: RealSolution001:  this fake story done pass see finish 1 Like
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| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by AndroBlaze: 1:53pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
RealSolution001:If what I have read is not a joke, this relationship of yours will likely not end well. |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by ExudeLoveToAll: 2:00pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
Equality without equality in financial contributions is no equality at all. Settle your issues amicably but any woman who does this to me is sure to recieve same treatment with regards to money, you must bring 50% of the money. |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by Starboytwo(m): 2:03pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
Something is dangerously wrong somewhere... See a brain surgeon asapu.. |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by marlow1962(m): 2:05pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
 na for she to pay your groom price remain.But if you're not married to her yet, brother run, your girl ought to be feminine not masculine. Na this little little red flags you go ignore now, and you go shed tears later in the future. |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by Walezy2020: 2:41pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
Both of you did well she shouldn't be in position to ask you to say thank you to her,na she suppose thank you then as better man you can now thank her too if she no cook you can't eat the food raw na & if you too didn't buy the food for house how she want take cook it |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by zeeace(m): 2:41pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
Is this really true? And this somebody you're even thinking of getting married too? Unbelievable. |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by RealSolution001(op): 3:06pm On Nov 28, 2025*. Modified: 4:08pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
zeeace:My brother, see me o. So confused right now. We've even met families. Only the proper marriage is left and she's asking me to washing her clothes. Whenever I think about this, I feel like terminating the whole thing instantly even though we've done introduction. |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by RealSolution001(op): 3:11pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
Not like I cannot wash her clothes in certain circumstances but she's making it look like an obligation to be washing her clothes. This thing vex me eh. |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by zeeace(m): 3:37pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
RealSolution001:let me tell you something, what you tolerate in youre relationship you will see it 10 times in marriage. 4 Likes |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by Nazgul: 3:42pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
GloriousGbola:Lol. I don taya for nairaland. |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by RealSolution001(op): 4:09pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
Nazgul:You think this is fake? To what end? |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by Usmanovic95(m): 4:26pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
Try and find some places to go chill out,see finish don dey creep in because you are always too accessible and available. I know a lot of married men who don't arrive home from work early and barely stay at home with their wife on weekends,and this is the same reason most of them give. If you continue to make yourself physically available 24/7,she will start sending you other worse odd errands like picking beans and fetching water. 4 Likes |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by OKUCHI11(m): 4:39pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
RealSolution001:na see finish change good morning to how far 2 Likes |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by SixSeven: 5:28pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
@sofeo Thank you for bringing it up. The Manipulated Man The Manipulated Man is a 1971 book by author Esther Vilar, originally written in German and translated to English by Eva Borneman.The main idea behind the book is that women are not oppressed by men but rather control men to their advantage. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fssTMUSVaq8
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| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by Figger(m): 6:26pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
Marriage never start, she don already see u finish. Try and make yourself unavailable and scarce at times so she can value your presence. 1 Like |
| Re: Is She Asking For Too Much Or I Am The Bad Guy Here? by kiddaz: 6:45pm On Nov 28, 2025 |
Stop complaining and disturbing us here just start doing as her lordship pleases |
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