₦airaland Forum

Good day Nairalanders,

I just need some neutral opinions on something that happened between me and my girl.

On her 18th birthday, I posted her picture on my DP and wrote a simple birthday message: “grow and be wise.”
To me, it was just a normal blessing/prayer.

Later on, her mum told her that my caption meant I was indirectly saying she’s not mature. Because of that, my girl wasn’t happy with what I wrote.

Fast forward to yesterday — we were already rounding up our conversation because I told her I had an interview in the next 1 hour and 30 minutes. She even said “I wish you all the best.”

At that point, I said something like:

“I wanted to say ‘grow and be wise’ again, but if I do, you won’t be happy. The last time I said it, your mum sent you to attack me.”

I didn’t mean it in a disrespectful way. I only said it because I didn’t want another misunderstanding like the last time. But now that I think about it, the wording might have sounded somehow.

No matter how i try to explain that I meant it in a good way, she totally dont want to take it, this has lasted for three days now.
My frustration is that, i only meant good for her but she is saying that bringing her mum up means i an disrespecting her

So my question is:
Did I actually disrespect her mum with that statement, or was it just a poor choice of words out of frustration?

I’ll appreciate your honest feedback.

She should learn to think for herself

That caption is disrespectful in all ramification,not only to your gal but to her family,even if it wasn't what you actually meant.

The mom is right

Next time try to rephrase your words

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toboizilla:
Good day Nairalanders,
I just need some neutral opinions on something that happened between me and my girl.
On her 18th birthday, I posted her picture on my DP and wrote a simple birthday message: “grow and be wise.”
To me, it was just a normal blessing/prayer.
Later on, her mum told her that my caption meant I was indirectly saying she’s not mature. Because of that, my girl wasn’t happy with what I wrote.
Fast forward to yesterday — we were already rounding up our conversation because I told her I had an interview in the next 1 hour and 30 minutes. She even said “I wish you all the best.”
At that point, I said something like:
“I wanted to say ‘grow and be wise’ again, but if I do, you won’t be happy. The last time I said it, your mum sent you to attack me.”
I didn’t mean it in a disrespectful way. I only said it because I didn’t want another misunderstanding like the last time. But now that I think about it, the wording might have sounded somehow.
So my question is:
Did I actually disrespect her mum with that statement, or was it just a poor choice of words out of frustration? I’ll appreciate your honest feedback.

How old are you? I ask because I need to get some context to this "grow and be wise" suggestion of yours to a girl whom you refer to as a girlfriend. 🥱🥱

Revealer3:
That caption is disrespectful in all ramification,not only to your gal but to her family,even if it wasn't what you actually meant.

The mom is right

Next time try to rephrase your words

Bro, that is same as saying grow and be rich, or you will be a rich man. Is that also wrong ?
It is prayer or a wish not an insult

Kobojunkie:
How old are you? I ask because I need to get some context to this "grow and be wise" suggestion of yours to a girl whom you refer to as a girlfriend. 🥱🥱

15 years older than her, and this happened 3 years ago

How old are you?

PlasmaTV:
How old are you?

15 years older than her, and this happened 3 years ago

O boy i don't want to believe you are an adult. That is an insult no matter how you try to paint it. If you are wishing an adult who is old enough to birth you goodwill or prayers nothing stops you from doing it well. What you posted is meant for kids. If na me sef I go insult you before you clear yourself

toboizilla:
Good day Nairalanders,

I just need some neutral opinions on .

Yes the words came out wrong, you are not perfect and if the mom who is grown up wants to dwell on it, try your best to avoid the topic.

Na still small girl so Remedy the situation, buy her fish or shawarma. Nothing fish no fit solve but if you no get money for radarada and if she still talking about it, ignore the matter, ignore her, ignore her mama. The more you try to explain yourself to a woman, the more you kpai yourself.
Give them EuroStep very fast.

You sef, grow and be wise...

toboizilla:
15 years older than her, and this happened 3 years ago

THREE YEARS AGO and they are still on the matter... And you seff dey entertain them.. See Finish don enter and just have it in mind that the possibility of ever having anything serious with that babe is 2% while the other 98% is wàhálà. You are not ready to give yourself peace. Bye Bye

AllBlack:
Yes the words came out wrong, you are not perfect and if the mom who is grown up wants to dwell on it, try your best to avoid the topic.

Na still small girl so Remedy the situation, buy her fish or shawarma. Nothing fish no fit solve but if you no get money for radarada and if she still talking about it, ignore the
and matter, ignore her, ignore her mama. The more you try to explain yourself to a woman, the more you kpai.
Give them EuroStep very fast.

OK

toboizilla:
Bro, that is same as saying grow and be rich, or you will be a rich man. Is that also wrong ?
It is prayer or a wish not an insult

This one is also wrong,it should be "grow and be richer'.

The previous one should be "grow with wisdom"

You should be careful with your choice of word,else you will be misunderstood

Revealer3:
This one is also wrong,it should be "grow and be richer'.

The previous one should be "grow with wisdom"

You should be careful with your choice of word,else you will be misunderstood

Thanks Professor

That’s a not a “wise” thing to say!..You see how the “Wise” could mean you not “wise” in another term!?..You saying “ grow and be wise” translates to “Immature and dumb” in her mind..

toboizilla:
Good day Nairalanders,

I just need some neutral opinions on something that happened between me and my girl.

On her 18th birthday, I posted her picture on my DP and wrote a simple birthday message: “grow and be wise.”
To me, it was just a normal blessing/prayer.

Later on, her mum told her that my caption meant I was indirectly saying she’s not mature. Because of that, my girl wasn’t happy with what I wrote.

Fast forward to yesterday — we were already rounding up our conversation because I told her I had an interview in the next 1 hour and 30 minutes. She even said “I wish you all the best.”

At that point, I said something like:

“I wanted to say ‘grow and be wise’ again, but if I do, you won’t be happy. The last time I said it, your mum sent you to attack me.”

I didn’t mean it in a disrespectful way. I only said it because I didn’t want another misunderstanding like the last time. But now that I think about it, the wording might have sounded somehow.

No matter how i try to explain that I meant it in a good way, she totally dont want to take it, this has lasted for three days now.
My frustration is that, i only meant good for her but she is saying that bringing her mum up means i an disrespecting her

So my question is:
Did I actually disrespect her mum with that statement, or was it just a poor choice of words out of frustration?

I’ll appreciate your honest feedback.

Can you tell your popsy on his birthday”Grow and be Wise”?..How do you think he will take it?

Dzzzz:
That’s a not a “wise” thing to say!..You see how the “Wise” could mean you not “wise” in another term!?..You saying “ grow and be wise” translates to “Immature and dumb” in her mind..

The most important thing about communication is that who you are talking to understands you. If i planned to insult her she would know but that isn't what i meant and explaining not helping either is another issue.

toboizilla:
✓ 15 years older than her, and this happened 3 years ago

Yeah, you were being rude to your gal. And her mother knew it too. And at your age, you are definitely old enough to know what is rude to say to someone you claim to love or at least pretends to. 🥱🥱🥱

It couldn't have been a poor choice of words because only a father or mother or an elder should be able to say such words to their ward. But here you said those words, not once since you felt it OK to repeat them had the mother not raised an issue the first time. You know for a fact that those are disrespectful for lover to utter to another. More like words someone grooming another would say.

Dzzzz:
Can you tell your popsy on his birthday”Grow and be Wise”?..How do you think he will take it?

Can you Popsy tell you when you are travelling, safe journey ? Go and be successful ? Grow and be a billionaire ?

False equivalence Bro, I wasn't talking to her Dad

Kobojunkie:
Yeah, you were being rude to your gal. And her mother knew it too. And I do believe you are old enough to know what is rude to say to someone you claim to love or at least pretends to. 🥱🥱🥱

After exchanging pleasantries and she said i wish you all the best in your exam and i said i wish you all the best in life, how is that being rude ?

toboizilla:
Can you Popsy tell you when you are travelling, safe journey ? Go and be successful ? Grow and be a billionaire ?

False equivalence Bro, I wasn't talking to her Dad

You only came to argue and not to learn..You asked for opinion and yet you disagree with peoples opinion.So, there’s only one thing left for you to do and that’s do as you please..

Kobojunkie:
Yeah, you were being rude to your gal. And her mother knew it too. And at your age, you are definitely old enough to know what is rude to say to someone you claim to love or at least pretends to. 🥱🥱🥱

He still don’t want to accept the use of language was wrong so let’s leave him with his wahala..Person ask for our opinion but still Dey question us again..

toboizilla:
After exchanging pleasantries and she said i wish you all the best in your exam and i said i wish you all the best in life, how is that being rude ?

You’re 15yrs older than the girl and yet,you Dey act like Ned Nwoko!?..You don’t know how to play with Gen Z girls eh bros??..You better go look for mama wey no go see am as insult cause clearly you way too old to understand Gen Z

toboizilla:
✓ After exchanging pleasantries and she said i wish you all the best in your exam and i said i wish you all the best in life, how is that being rude ?

There is nothing wrong with lovers wishing each other all the best in their exams. However, there are all sorts of wrong with one lover wishing the other "grow and be wise". Worse, given the age gap between you two, it comes off as predatory... something a predator would say to someone, particularly a child, he is grooming/training.

Dzzzz:
You only came to argue and not to learn..You asked for opinion and yet you disagree with peoples opinion.So, there’s only one thing left for you to do and that’s do as you please..

I noticed that too! Man wants to flex the muscles he couldn’t flex at the mum; at us 🤣🤣🤣.

Op, you are right! You did well and they need to grow up and grow wise! 😎

I can’t find anything wrong with what OP said

“Grow and be wise “

That’s a positive statement for a girl her man wants the best for…

If the girl’s mom finds it disrespectful maybe she will prefer

“ Grow and be foolish “

Wareva

Double0h7:
I noticed that too! Man wants to flex the muscles he couldn’t flex at the mum; at us 🤣🤣🤣.

Op, you are right! You did well and they need to grow up and grow wise! 😎

hello dableOh7

toboizilla:
After exchanging pleasantries and she said i wish you all the best in your exam and i said i wish you all the best in life, how is that being rude ?

A simple thank you is more than sufficient. It seems like you're the one that needs that "grow and be wise" advice more than your girlfriend and her mother.