₦airaland Forum

So I n my gf have been dating for over 2 n half years now, but there’s this constant issue I complain bout but she doesn’t seem to do nothing bout it. So she uses the excuses of she’s quick to anger to always insult and render insults on me. If she wants to talk I should listen, but if I try to talk or compelling bout what m not comfy with she takes it that it’s not a convo that m spilling trash. Despite all I’ve endured, she cheated trice I forgave her cos “why not” I felt people learn. But seems all I’ve done to make the relationship not base on age or anything has made her belittle me, she literally talks down on me always she has never appraised nothing I do, she nags and complains I don’t do the bare minimum, this is same person I don’t let do nothing in the house, I’ll wash, clean, do the basic things, while she lay on the bed n scroll TikTok.
I’ve changed in certain ways to make the relationship work but seems all I do is to no avail. Lately she goes on TikTok to all this ladies that talk down on men on how a girl should have two bfs, and I asked her a question “ what have you learnt so far from this TikTok stuff yeah” she said am pained cos the person spills facts that she’s learnt not to let a man control you or if you don’t use your head a man will use it for you, that she wouldn’t blame anybody that cheats, she’s not gonna judge anybody that cheats there are the ones that know why there cheated, that if she’s told I cheated, she wouldn’t be surprised. And then boom old memories kicks in of when she cheated and I’ve sat for 3hrs thinking. And whenever she acts this way my heart tends to raise rapidly like something bad is bout to happen. Please your honest advice would help.😔

My apologies but I’ve got some questions for clarity and I need your honest reply.

— Are you for real 😳 or is it copy and paste?

— Sorry, Do you mean your mother, girlfriend or wife?

—Were you raised by an African man?

— Did you say you were thinking about her for 3 hrs😳

If she’s your girlfriend, marry her😊 she’ll change for sure. Marriage can change people😊😊😊

Rynny:
➜ So I n my gf have been dating for over 2 n half years now, but there’s this constant issue I complain bout but she doesn’t seem to do nothing bout it. So she uses the excuses of she’s quick to anger to always insult and render insults on me. If she wants to talk I should listen, but if I try to talk or compelling bout what m not comfy with she takes it that it’s not a convo that m spilling trash. Despite all I’ve endured, she cheated trice I forgave her cos “why not” I felt people learn. But seems all I’ve done to make the relationship not base on age or anything has made her belittle me, she literally talks down on me always she has never appraised nothing I do, she nags and complains I don’t do the bare minimum, this is same person I don’t let do nothing in the house, I’ll wash, clean, do the basic things, while she lay on the bed n scroll TikTok.
➜ I’ve changed in certain ways to make the relationship work but seems all I do is to no avail. Lately she goes on TikTok to all this ladies that talk down on men on how a girl should have two bfs, and I asked her a question “ what have you learnt so far from this TikTok stuff yeah” she said am pained cos the person spills facts that she’s learnt not to let a man control you or if you don’t use your head a man will use it for you, that she wouldn’t blame anybody that cheats, she’s not gonna judge anybody that cheats there are the ones that know why there cheated, that if she’s told I cheated, she wouldn’t be surprised. And then boom old memories kicks in of when she cheated and I’ve sat for 3hrs thinking. And whenever she acts this way my heart tends to raise rapidly like something bad is bout to happen. Please your honest advice would help.😔

You need to break up with her immediately. She cheated one time and didn't learn. Did it a second and then a third time. If you had applied your own logic, you would have noted that you should have left her by now. Stop holding yourself back and leave her. Go find your peace elsewhere.

2. I can't say for a fact whether there is a female version of the redpill movement, which tells women that cheating like men is the way to go, but I know one thing for sure is you and that girl should not be together. Nothing wrong with her spending time on TikTok. My guess is she is a grown-up and can do as she pleases. The problem here is that she has cheated on you three times and has yet to learn from any of that. If you are really not into someone cheating on you, then I suggest you leave her immediately.

[/quote]uote author=SpencerForbes post=137639415]My apologies but I’ve got some questions for clarity and I need your honest reply.

— Are you for real 😳 or is it copy and paste?

— Sorry, Do you mean your mother, girlfriend or wife?

—Were you raised by an African man?

— Did you say you were thinking about her for 3 hrs😳

If she’s your girlfriend, marry her😊 she’ll change for sure. Marriage can change people😊😊😊[/quote]I don’t copy n paste, my girlfriend is what i mean , and yeah of course I was raised by an African man. Wasn’t thinking bout her solemnly for 3hrs I was thinking bout the whole situation and how I let it get to this Point

The fear of starting all over again

.

Rynny:
uote author=SpencerForbes post=137639415]My apologies but I’ve got some questions for clarity and I need your honest reply.

— Are you for real 😳 or is it copy and paste?

— Sorry, Do you mean your mother, girlfriend or wife?

—Were you raised by an African man?

— Did you say you were thinking about her for 3 hrs😳

If she’s your girlfriend, marry her😊 she’ll change for sure. Marriage can change people😊😊😊
I don’t copy n paste, my girlfriend is what i mean , and yeah of course I was raised by an African man. Wasn’t thinking bout her solemnly for 3hrs I was thinking bout the whole situation and how I let it get to this Point

I’m going to be brutally honest with you, so please tighten your belt because you need to hear this. The first question is simple:

why haven’t you broken up with her yet? This girl has clearly shown she has zero regard for you, yet you are here talking about love. You cannot successfully love someone who does not respect you; respect is the foundation, and without it, affection is just slavery. The fact that she sits and scrolls through her phone while you do the washing is an absolute disgrace to your manhood and your ancestors. If she was the one paying the bills or coming back from a hard day's work, maybe it could be overlooked, but allowing that level of laziness is exactly where you lost the plot. That act of servitude was the moment you handed over your authority.

She has practically admitted that she can't be satisfied with just you. Are you blinded by love or just desperate?😳 You must never love a lady more than she loves you. The fact that she could look you in the face and voice those thoughts shows she doesn't fear losing you, which signifies that you are perceived as a weak man in her eyes.

There is no redemption for this relationship because the respect is gone and it’s not coming back. The best solution is to look for another girlfriend because you have already ruined this dynamic by being too soft. Yes, you played a huge part in this ( yes you, I no Dey fear you😂😡). End it, find someone else, and never walk this path again. You must be the leader in your relationship and stop succumbing to these antics. Please work on your self-esteem now, because if you carry this timid attitude into marriage, it will end in tears

SpencerForbes:
I’m going to be brutally honest with you, so please tighten your belt because you need to hear this. The first question is simple:

why haven’t you broken up with her yet? This girl has clearly shown she has zero regard for you, yet you are here talking about love. You cannot successfully love someone who does not respect you; respect is the foundation, and without it, affection is just slavery. The fact that she sits and scrolls through her phone while you do the washing is an absolute disgrace to your manhood and your ancestors. If she was the one paying the bills or coming back from a hard day's work, maybe it could be overlooked, but allowing that level of laziness is exactly where you lost the plot. That act of servitude was the moment you handed over your authority.

She has practically admitted that she can't be satisfied with just you. Are you blinded by love or just desperate?😳 You must never love a lady more than she loves you. The fact that she could look you in the face and voice those thoughts shows she doesn't fear losing you, which signifies that you are perceived as a weak man in her eyes.

There is no redemption for this relationship because the respect is gone and it’s not coming back. The best solution is to look for another girlfriend because you have already ruined this dynamic by being too soft. Yes, you played a huge part in this ( yes you, I no Dey fear you😂😡). End it, find someone else, and never walk this path again. You must be the leader in your relationship and stop succumbing to these antics. Please work on your self-esteem now, because if you carry this timid attitude into marriage, it will end in tears

Thanks 😔

Rynny:
So I n my gf have been dating for over 2 n half years now, but there’s this constant issue I complain bout but she doesn’t seem to do nothing bout it. So she uses the excuses of she’s quick to anger to always insult and render insults on me. If she wants to talk I should listen, but if I try to talk or compelling bout what m not comfy with she takes it that it’s not a convo that m spilling trash. Despite all I’ve endured, she cheated trice I forgave her cos “why not” I felt people learn. But seems all I’ve done to make the relationship not base on age or anything has made her belittle me, she literally talks down on me always she has never appraised nothing I do, she nags and complains I don’t do the bare minimum, this is same person I don’t let do nothing in the house, I’ll wash, clean, do the basic things, while she lay on the bed n scroll TikTok. I’ve changed in certain ways to make the relationship work but seems all I do is to no avail. Lately she goes on TikTok to all this ladies that talk down on men on how a girl should have two bfs, and I asked her a question “ what have you learnt so far from this TikTok stuff yeah” she said am pained cos the person spills facts that she’s learnt not to let a man control you or if you don’t use your head a man will use it for you, that she wouldn’t blame anybody that cheats, she’s not gonna judge anybody that cheats there are the ones that know why there cheated, that if she’s told I cheated, she wouldn’t be surprised. And then boom old memories kicks in of when she cheated and I’ve sat for 3hrs thinking. And whenever she acts this way my heart tends to raise rapidly like something bad is bout to happen.

Please your honest advice would help.😔

If you want an honest advise, I'd give you.

Please, leave the girl. That she's cheated repeatedly means she neither loves you nor respected you. She's also manipulative and toxic. You don't seem to be worth anything in her eyes. It's the reason she's not remorseful about her mistakes. Why would anyone want to be listened to and is not ready to listen to others? That's selfishness on her part. As she is, she can't sacrifice anything for you. On top of that, she's got entitlement mentality too. Please, dear run like Usain Bolt and never look back.

When and if you decide to do it, block every access, every means she can use to reach you. Don't fall for her niceties if she tries to win you over cause she's never going to change.

My one cent!

placeofallure:
If you want an honest advise, I'd give you.

Please, leave the girl. That she's cheated repeatedly means she neither loves you nor respected you. She's also manipulative and toxic. You don't seem to be worth anything in her eyes. It's the reason she's not remorseful about her mistakes. Why would anyone want to be listened to and is not ready to listen to others? That's selfishness on her part. As she is, she can't sacrifice anything for you. On top of that, she's got entitlement mentality too. Please, dear run like Usain Bolt and never look back.

When and if you decide to do it, block every access, every means she can use to reach you. Don't fall for her niceties if she tries to win you over cause she's never going to change.

My one cent!

There was a time I got really pissed I asked her for the first time that we should end things, she was quite shocked, but after few convo we sorta resolved it at the time. But shit keeps happening, she can just flip on a situation and the next thing she’s pouring all the frustrations at me. And the next thing when I go quiet, she tells me I am not a real man. That real men communicate, in her words n I quote “ How of a feminist have you become”

Kobojunkie:
You need to break up with her immediately. She cheated one time and didn't learn. Did it a second and then a third time. If you had applied your own logic, you would have noted that you should have left her by now. Stop holding yourself back and leave her. Go find your peace elsewhere.

2. I can't say for a fact whether there is a female version of the redpill movement, which tells women that cheating like men is the way to go, but I know one thing for sure is you and that girl should not be together. Nothing wrong with her spending time on TikTok. My guess is she is a grown-up and can do as she pleases. The problem here is that she has cheated on you three times and has yet to learn from any of that. If you are really not into someone cheating on you, then I suggest you leave her immediately.

The fear of starting all over again

Rynny:
➜There was a time I got really pissed I asked her for the first time that we should end things, she was quite shocked, but after few convo we sorta resolved it at the time.
➜ But shit keeps happening, she can just flip on a situation and the next thing she’s pouring all the frustrations at me. And the next thing when I go quiet, she tells me I am not a real man. That real men communicate, in her words n I quote “ How of a feminist have you become”

If you want to break up with someone, you just do it. Using that person as an excuse for why you did not do what you know you should have done is a you problem, not a them problem.

2. Well, duh! You keep letting her get by every time she sheets on you, so what do you expect? It is the same thing if it were the man cheating and the woman staying in the relationship. It only gets worse. This is simple human behavior 101 here!

Rynny:
➜The fear of starting all over again

Huh? You need to take time to really figure out why you condoned such abuse in a relationship and make sure you will not go on to repeat the same pattern, and that takes time. I suggest you stay away from relationships for at least a year to work extensively on yourself and tackle any childhood traumas from your past that kept you clinging even when you clearly knew the right thing to do was to leave.

If you are afraid of being alone in your own energy for a period, that is a red flag— a sign you have lots of damage that you need to work on yourself and heal from. No relationship can help you deal with that. If you don't love yourself first, you will never succeed in relationships with men or women.

Kobojunkie:
Huh? You need to take time to really figure out why you condoned such abuse in a relationship and make sure you will not go on to repeat the same pattern, and that takes time. I suggest you stay away from relationships for at least a year to work extensively on yourself and tackle any childhood traumas from your past that kept you clinging even when you clearly knew the right thing to do was to leave.

If you are afraid of being alone in your own energy for a period, that is a red flag— a sign you have lots of damage that you need to work on yourself and heal from. No relationship can help you deal with that. If you don't love yourself first, you will never succeed in relationships with men or women.

I’ll work on that

Kobojunkie:
If you want to break up with someone, you just do it. Using that person as an excuse for why you did not do what you know you should have done is a you problem, not a them problem.

2. Well, duh! You keep letting her get by every time she sheets on you, so what do you expect? It is the same thing if it were the man cheating and the woman staying in the relationship. It only gets worse. This is simple human behavior 101 here!

Understood

Rynny:
➜I’ll work on that

. Whatever it is you are afraid of, you are better off facing it head-on now than kicking it down the road— it will only continue to harm you if you don't deal with it right now.

You were born single from your mother's womb, so being single is not a curse but a blessing, a time during which you can spend your time and energy working on yourself and building your inner peace to help you when you are no longer single. Please use that time wisely for as long as you feel you need to have it.

See finish...

Even you from all that you narrated here advice yourself. No be every time person go advice you.

You are just a sacrificial lamp whom she has no regard for... probably she is older than you.


Advice yourself... if you were you what would you do... obviously you aren't YOU!