Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) - Travel (916) - Nairaland
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| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by WanderingChild: 11:08pm On Dec 08, 2025 |
Let Us Encourage Ambition The power of environment The difference between constrained ambition and soaring dreams often comes down to one thing: what we see as normal. When children grow up in environments where success is discussed casually, where achievement is celebrated rather than whispered about, where adults treat young people's aspirations with seriousness and respect, something shifts in their understanding of what is possible. This is not about wealth or privilege alone. It is about mindset. It is about parents who involve their children in family decisions, who explain financial realities while simultaneously expanding horizons. It is about treating a teenager's concerns with the same gravity you would an adult's, taking the time to listen, to discuss, to reason together rather than simply decree. When we raise children to argue their causes, to take contrarian positions, to see themselves as stakeholders rather than dependents, we are building something far more valuable than obedience. We are building minds capable of independent thought, of challenging the status quo, of imagining futures different from their present. Success as the baseline In communities where ambition thrives, success stories are not rare miracles to be marvelled at from a distance. They are the baseline. Conversations naturally drift toward academic achievements, scholarship opportunities, career advancements, international experiences. Not because people are showing off, but because these are simply the topics of life. When a child hears consistently about GMAT, GRE and A level scores and university admissions and scholarships, about jobs at multinationals, about overseas training and professional development, something powerful happens. These possibilities lodge themselves in the imagination not as distant fantasies but as achievable realities. The young person begins to see a clear path from where they are to where they could be. This is why representation matters. This is why visibility matters. When seniors return with stories of successes, they are not just sharing personal victories. They are expanding the realm of the possible for everyone listening. They are providing a blueprint, a proof of concept that says: this can be done, and people like us are doing it. The stories that shape us From Bishop Oyedepo comes a profound truth for me: a future I cannot picture, I cannot feature in it. Our children, our young people, our peers cannot aspire to what they cannot imagine. And imagination requires fuel. It requires stories, examples, proof that the thing can be done. Think about the power of a single conversation. A young person struggling academically, told by one voice that excellence is impossible, that the system is rigged, that they should lower their expectations and settle. Then another voice, one that has walked the path, that looks at the same student and sees untapped potential. That voice says: you have what it takes. The results show it. If you decide to be serious, you will succeed. But more importantly: if you do not try, you will carry that regret forever. Which voice wins often determines the trajectory of a life. This is not motivational fluff. This is practical reality. The human mind responds to expectation. We rise or fall to meet the beliefs held about us by people we respect. When surrounded by pessimism, we internalize limits. When surrounded by high expectations coupled with genuine support, we often surprise even ourselves. Why these conversations matter This brings us to the heart of the matter. When members of our community share their successes, when they talk openly about building wealth, navigating careers, achieving recognition in their fields, the default response should be celebration and curiosity, not suspicion and tone policing. Yes, critique the methods. Challenge the approaches. Engage with the substance. But do not shut down the conversation because someone sounds "too confident" or "not humble enough." The problem is not that successful people are sharing their stories. The problem is that we have become so accustomed to lack, to limitation, to making ourselves small, that confidence feels like arrogance and ambition feels like pride. We are already drowning in dark news and discouraging reports. We already have enough experiences telling us what we cannot do, where we do not belong, why we should lower our expectations. What we desperately need are counternarratives. We need to hear that doctors can build wealth. That academics can achieve international recognition. That young people from average backgrounds can end up in rooms that matter, can challenge established norms, can earn respect in their fields. These stories awaken something. They provide permission to dream bigger. They offer tactical knowledge about paths that exist. They remind us that the people achieving these things are not superhuman, they are simply humans who were encouraged to aim high and told, repeatedly, that they belonged in those spaces. How communities actually grow Strong communities are not built on everyone whispering their achievements with ten disclaimers attached. They are built on honest exchange, on robust debate, on people being willing to put their ideas and experiences out there, even when those ideas will be challenged. Some of the most valuable relationships and insights come from disagreement. From heated debates taken offline and continued. From clashing perspectives that force both parties to sharpen their thinking. From being willing to engage with people whose approach differs from yours but whose intentions are sound. When we prioritize tone over substance, when we police how people share rather than engaging with what they share, we impoverish the entire community. We lose the wealth of experience, the diversity of approaches, the rich tapestry of different paths to success. The goal is not uniformity. It is not everyone speaking in the same carefully modulated voice, sharing successes with identical levels of self-deprecation. The goal is genuine exchange. It is people feeling safe to be honest about their wins and their methods so that others can learn, adapt, and find their own paths. What our next generation deserves Our young people are watching. They are listening. They are reading. They are forming their sense of what is possible based on the stories that surround them. When we celebrate achievement, when we share knowledge freely, when we engage in substantive debate without personal attacks, we are modelling something crucial. We are showing them that success is not a finite resource that must be hoarded. That knowledge shared is not power diminished, but community strengthened. That disagreement does not require disrespect. That confidence in one's abilities is not the same as contempt for others. They need to grow up in environments where reading about successful people in their fields is normal. Where parents and mentors point out examples and say: look what is possible. Where the narrative is not about all the obstacles (though obstacles exist) but about all the pathways, all the opportunities, all the ways that determination plus strategy plus support can lead to remarkable outcomes. This is not about creating entitled children who expect success without effort. It is about creating ambitious children who believe effort will be rewarded, who see obstacles as challenges to overcome rather than excuses to quit, who understand that they belong in spaces of excellence. A not so final word on intentions The caveat to all of this is intention. If we approach these conversations looking for faults, eager to tear down rather than build up, determined to find reasons to dismiss rather than engage, we poison the well for everyone. Life, in many ways, is dumb luck. One piece of information here, one connection there, one insight at the right moment, and suddenly you have an edge. Being open minded, being willing to learn from anyone, being curious rather than judgmental, these postures allow us to capture those moments of luck when they come. The mind truly is the standard of the person. What we allow into our minds, what stories we tell ourselves and each other about what is possible, these shape everything else. We can choose to fill our mental space with limitations and excuses, or we can choose to fill it with examples and strategies and encouragement. Let us choose to encourage ambition. Not recklessness, not entitlement, but genuine, well supported, strategically pursued ambition. Our communities will be richer for it. Our young people will be empowered by it. And we ourselves will benefit from the rising tide that lifts all boats. I will leave us with this famous quote by Isaac Watts: "If I could reach from pole to pole or grasp the ocean with a span, I would be measured by the soul; The mind's the standard of the Man." Final word, Live and Let Live Life is a journey, and we are all doing our bit, navigating the many mines and trying to make sense of it. Our approach should be to catch cruise and move on. Today we are here, tomorrow no more. What matters is that we make the best of the short time we have – make valuable memories. I see Nairaland as a place to catch cruise occasionally while documenting the temporal state of mind. I hold no grudges. Life’s fleeting nature means I prefer to optimise for things that can ease my journey here on earth. I trust we can be less “touchy” going forward and just live and let live. When you were young And your heart was an open book You used to say, "Live and let live" (You know you did You know you did You know you did) But if this ever-changing world in which we're livin' Makes you give in and cry Say live and let live (Live and let live) Live and let live (Live and let live) |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by jedisco(m): 7:38am On Dec 09, 2025 |
Mcleo007:True. Many times, there's also the talk that they segregate against blacks, live in enclaves or unduly favour their own. I've encountered certain incidents that made me concerned. However, I also weigh it in another light. We are communual being and we build wealth by forming communities especially when facing opposition. The Jews did this for centuries. White Europeans also did same but by conquest. Even today, Brits still stick to 'expat' communities when visiting developing countries. |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by jedisco(m): 8:02am On Dec 09, 2025 |
AKALAMAGBO:Hehe.. Congrats... may fortune favour you. No forget pensions... still early days but it's one area I wish I tilted more towards. Not very easy if there's uncertainty about the future though. |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by jedisco(m): 8:09am On Dec 09, 2025 |
Santa2:Kudos. Your journey was tough but inspiring. Interesting how this place has evolved. |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by jedisco(m): 9:39am On Dec 09, 2025*. Modified: 5:41am On Dec 11, 2025 |
Ralphlauren:Hehe... I pondered on whether to respond to you or not. Let's be clear, I am not trying to change your mind but your post made me chuckle. I've been on NL since 2009, and every now and again I still get surprised. Your post reminds me of a thread I encountered on Reddit. A very high earner who sold his business was seeking advise. One chap questioned what someone with such means was doing on Reddit. It didn't take long for other high earners to show him they were everyday people. The odd thing is that I spend relatively little time here. Elon Musk and Trump are frolicking on Twitter despite their schedule. What I find even the more fascinating is what part of all I've posted you associate with 'wealth' or find widely unfounded. Is it hustling for daily bread or stating that I'm not worthless? I stumbled upon someone with 19 houses (yes nineteen) and I wouldn't even use the world wealthy to describe him. The word wouldn't even cross my mind when describing myself today. It's fascinating but not surprising - people appreciate only what they can see i.e, we tend to see the world thru our circle (no insult intended). This conversation shows that. |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by Bwisewiturvote: 9:54am On Dec 09, 2025 |
Hey people... In between, we are 7 weeks pregnant... We want to shoot our chances of our little one getting a passport by birth ![]() Looking at CA or any other location Our skilled worker visa have got 4 years left on the 5 year route to settlement - nothing changes. Is it worth having the baby outside the UK? - you already know the sole reason of wanting to. Please your candid advise Appreciate |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by Goke7: 10:25am On Dec 09, 2025 |
Bwisewiturvote:CA is always a good option just ensure you pay all the right and accurate medical bills as a non resident or visitor. In my opinion it’s worth all the investment as I have seen someone who did it. Get your visitor visa as the first step if you haven’t. |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by Goke7: 10:36am On Dec 09, 2025 |
jedisco:It’s best you always ignore such kind of mentions you were just being rage baited! Not worth your time or mental energy! |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by Santa2: 11:17am On Dec 09, 2025 |
AKALAMAGBO:@AKALAMAGBO Congratulatios Baba!! We dey come wash the house ooh. share your sentiments with regards to buying despite the whole immigration brouhaha, worse case if kasala burst I sell am or rent am. Factored this in when I was buying, made sure it was in an ideal location, few mins from train station (48 mins into central london) and amenities. God go help all of us. Congrats once again. |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RodgersAkpafu: 12:52pm On Dec 09, 2025 |
Mcleo007:Some Nigerians are living in la la land and cannot open their eyes to see whats happening That goes for you There is no smoke without fire 🔥 and there is a reason why south Asians leave a sour taste in the mouth of some of us Personally I admire Pakistani people (heck, I am even dating one as we speak ) the business mentality is good and to be honest, the good ones amongst them have been of great help to Nigerians here in the North West HOWEVER The bad eggs amongst them(South Asians) are VERY BAD I have seen how they have acted and "done over" many Nigerians I have seen them violate Equality Act of 2010 in many recruitment agencies (look no further than Sainsbury's, SES, G4S etc) I have seen the scams and the dubious practices quite a number of them are up to, and the ramifications it has had for others. Seen how they (the bad ones) can be towards black folks esp..... being "racist" So e get why some Nigerians are apprehensive and wary of some of them In fact, for me, the nail in their coffin was when they went full MAGA i(a very sizeable cohort of them) in America, presenting themselves as the "good immigrants" and blacks and Latinos the "bad immigrants" ; which is why sometimes I get a kick when they are now getting the "paj....t" treatment in North America At the end of the day, everyone has his life to live, if you like, go through life without "guiding" Anything "you see" you "collect" Well anyways |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by RodgersAkpafu: 1:03pm On Dec 09, 2025 |
@WanderingChild Thank you for your post up there I relate with it so much because it is story of my life Sometimes all it takes is ONE ENCOUNTER and the trajectory of your life changes for good |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by Cyberknight: 1:13pm On Dec 09, 2025 |
Zahra29:Oooh - I'm flattered indeed, coming from you Zahra. Thank you for the compliment and please allow me to return it - you're the worthiest foeman (or foeperson?) with whom one has crossed swords in a long time. Always a pleasure. Jedisco, if you're still out there and Zahra's not spoken for..... P.S. Did you see that Nurse Peggie won part of her tribunal? I'm still reading the judgment (it's a beast at about 300 pages, lots and lots of citations), but it's most interesting indeed (it would have to be - given its tenor). |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by HustlaOfLagos: 2:29pm On Dec 09, 2025 |
Bwisewiturvote:This is why I like Nairaland Someone always manages to bring up the exact scenario you have been looking at Following this closely ![]() |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by HustlaOfLagos: 2:31pm On Dec 09, 2025 |
Goke7:Any rough estimates for money spent? Did the person go from UK? I do not trust the UK immigration system hence the reason why I am looking at this for the near future |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by Raalsalghul: 2:32pm On Dec 09, 2025 |
HustlaOfLagos:This is another option I believe many Boris wave immigrants will be looking at especially with 55 year route flying up and down. ![]() One way or the other, options must surely come up. Whether people are willing to do the work is an entirely different question. ![]() |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by HustlaOfLagos: 2:34pm On Dec 09, 2025 |
Raalsalghul:If I can get it done for 2 kids, Ill most likely just save up money here and return home depending on how their 55 yr route turns out next year ![]() |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by HustlaOfLagos: 2:37pm On Dec 09, 2025 |
Saw someone's post a few pages back about seeking options and how they think they are being looked down on for not seeking options or something along that route and I just chuckled Linkedin posts like this are why seeking out options when you can is a sensible thing to do but ![]() At the end of the day, whenever you wake up is your guuruu moring
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| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by Goke7: 2:42pm On Dec 09, 2025 |
HustlaOfLagos:I don’t have any idea on estimates but yea the person went from the uk gave birth and returned with a Canadian passport for her baby! But of course it’s gonna be pricey as a non resident just like the way folks go to the US to have their babies then! |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by Goke7: 2:49pm On Dec 09, 2025 |
HustlaOfLagos:Someone like this with this kind of profile should have attempted global talent route and if he didn’t get it then the O1 visa route for the US would have been another option. Uk really have very loyal migrants sha 😂 |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by Raalsalghul: 2:51pm On Dec 09, 2025 |
HustlaOfLagos:A part of me wants to blame the guy but I'll be empathetic to his plight. I would like to find out if he made attempts to find out if his visa was renewable based on current laws before it expired? Based on his writeup, it doesn't seem so. If he tried and HR was not forthcoming, an immigration lawyer would have helped. I might be wrong here. I'm saying this because I've got two colleagues in the same shoes and I've been pushing them to find out if their visa can be renewed once it's expired based on current laws so they can start taking proactive steps. However for some reason, they've taken this with a pinch of salt. |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by Punstar: 3:14pm On Dec 09, 2025*. Modified: 9:35pm On Dec 14, 2025 |
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| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by HustlaOfLagos: 3:17pm On Dec 09, 2025 |
Goke7:Whew, money, money, money ![]() |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by HustlaOfLagos: 3:18pm On Dec 09, 2025 |
Goke7:Let me not talk before you see posts about looking down on people etc It is well with everyone and their different routes ![]() |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by HustlaOfLagos: 3:20pm On Dec 09, 2025 |
Raalsalghul:Was it you that said something about some people not keeping abreast of current immigration happenings? |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by Raalsalghul: 3:25pm On Dec 09, 2025 |
HustlaOfLagos:My bro na me oh: few pages. It's just something I have observed. ![]() You go surprise say the 20 years route will be passed into law and some immigrants would still be living their lives thinking they're on the 5 year route. ![]() |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by HustlaOfLagos: 3:34pm On Dec 09, 2025 |
Raalsalghul:.. then they deserve whatever hand meets them ![]() |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by Goke7: 3:36pm On Dec 09, 2025 |
HustlaOfLagos:😂 so you wan enter the country carry their passport waka without billing? |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by Goke7: 3:42pm On Dec 09, 2025 |
Raalsalghul:That’s what happened with those Australian immigrants story that was shared on the thread some pages back, one of them that was dependant switch to become the main applicant and didn’t realise the laws had been changed that once you switch your ilr timeline reset so they still went ahead to apply thinking they’ve been in the country for 5 years. It’s amazing how the immigration lawyers they used didn’t inform them too until they got the ilr rejection mail. So truly many don’t keep themselves updated about policy changes in the country they reside o before we now talk about policies in other countries so how will such folks even think about other options available in other places. |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by HustlaOfLagos: 4:24pm On Dec 09, 2025 |
Goke7:I no mind naw .. things like this, na wetin our babalawo people suppose dey run for us if their power truly dey work ![]() |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by Santa2: 7:01pm On Dec 09, 2025*. Modified: 9:06pm On Dec 09, 2025 |
Bwisewiturvote:@Bwisewiturvot My approach would be to do the best I can to create the best opportunities for my child/children. So I would say if you can, please do. I did same over a decade ago but then we were was in Naija (did it in yankee). I think most of the principles might still be slightly be same (or changed significantly with the whole immigration brouhaha). I think there is a related thread that deals with it here so search it out. Just make sure you pay all your fees and collect receipts ( you might have to chase them for receipt), please don't leave without receipt, and always have it with you in your subsequent travels back to the country as you might get asked. Also you might want to research locations where the health care cost might be lower. I reckon the cost might be cheaper in Sask than Toronto( this is just an example). You've got time so you will need to do a lot of research. In my case then I had to go a city were we had no family as the cost was a lot lower even when airbnb stay (extended stay) was added. Research everything not just the birthing process but also documentation process after baby comes. Its a huge project you about to embark so plan am well. I remember back then taking a loan of N1.6 million naira which converted to just over $10,000 ( those were the good days of exchange rate) to add to our saved funds for the process. We were complaining that the rate were high, if only we knew. Back then we already had US visit visas prior to finding out wifey was pregnant. So before she left for the US we wrote to the embassy in lagos and abuja, about our intent to give birth with the same visa we got for visit. They both replied that we should make sure we pay all our bills which we did. This gave us comfort to embark on the trip as sometimes people get turned back at point of entry. With these letters we had full confidence. |
| Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) by Santa2: 7:17pm On Dec 09, 2025 |
Goke7:The thing is that a lot of people actually have enough experience but might fall short as a result of not putting themselves out there in terms of keynote speeches in conferences, seminars, tv interviews, news paper publications and the likes. I know this because this is our achilles heel in personal situation. But I am actively working to mitigate against it especially as doin this make you eligible for 01,EB1, gulf golden visas and the likes. The day the scales fell of my eyes was then I found out that if you have already accrued 3 years on the skilled worker visa and you apply and get the exceptional talent visa, you can apply for ILR on exactly the same day you get the exceptional talent visa. A close friend actually did it. However this doesn't seem to be an issues in his case, if it were me I would leverage the YouTube channel as evidence of my expertise, |
Living In The USA - Life Of An Immigrant Part 1 • Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) • Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 • 2 • 3 • 4
Canadian Express Entry/federal Skilled Workers Program - Connect Here Part 8 • Canadian Student Visa Thread Part 21 • USA Visit Visa Part 3
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) the business mentality is good and to be honest, the good ones amongst them have been of great help to Nigerians here in the North West 
