₦airaland Forum

No, if both partners and genuine, ready and responsible.

Marriage begins when a child enters the union.
All these formalities called wedding, bride price payment, etc, does not define marriage

In the Western World? YES. The data shows it - fewer people are marrying and at a much later age.

However, in Nigeria, I doubt as there isn't any conclusive data. Traditionally, many Nigerians look forward to being married. Social media isn't a true representation of socio-cultural lives in Nigeria.

Dpsychologist:
Let’s be real for a moment this isn’t a troll post, it’s a reality check.

Sometimes I ask myself: is marriage as we knew it simply outdated? Not because love is dead, but because the environment that once supported marriage has fundamentally changed.

Before you get angry, read to understand.

1. The Economy Has Redefined Commitment
In West Africa especially, marriage is no longer just emotional, it’s a financial stress test. As a man, if you’re not reasonably stable, marriage doesn’t bring peace; it brings pressure, anxiety, and in many cases, depression. Love doesn’t pay rent or school fees.

2. The Timeline Has Shifted
Decades ago, a 25-year-old man likely had years of work experience, a steady income, and a clear path.
Today? Many are unemployed graduates, interns, or still “finding themselves.” The system changed, but expectations didn’t.

3. Gender Equality Changed the Market (Not a Bad Thing Just Reality)
Women are educated, empowered, and ambitious and that’s progress. But it also means many now want a fully established man, not someone still under construction. Growth partnerships are rare; finished products are in demand.

4. Marriage Is Now High-Cost, High-Risk
Dowries were once symbolic. Today, some families treat marriage negotiations like asset liquidation.
Cost of living is brutal. Feeding yourself is hard enough add a spouse and children, and the math becomes scary.

5. Roles Are No Longer Clear
Back then, roles were defined (right or wrong). Today, roles are negotiated and negotiation requires emotional intelligence most people were never taught. Some outsource domestic roles. Others resent them. Tension follows.

6. Options Have Exploded
Travel was limited. Communities were smaller. Choices were fewer.
Now? Infinite options, endless comparisons, and constant dissatisfaction. Marriage used to signal responsibility. Today, many see it as a trap.

7. Tolerance Levels Have Dropped
People were more patient then sometimes too patient.
Today, tolerance is low. Exit doors are wide open. One mistake and it’s “I deserve better.”

8. Sex Is No Longer a Scarce Resource
Let’s not pretend. Intimacy once came mostly through marriage. That alone pushed commitment. Today, access is easy, so the incentive structure has changed.

So no, marriage isn’t dead.
But the conditions that made it work effortlessly in the past are gone.

Marriage now requires:

A. Strategy
B. Emotional maturity
C. Financial realism
D. Clear alignment and
E. Brutal honesty

If you’re doing it blindly, you’re gambling.

And before anyone asks
No, this isn’t me talking.
It’s my 95-year-old grandma observing the world and shaking her head.

The end.

You have said it all. Marriage now is not for the weak because the harsh economy, poverty rate, unemployment and underemployment rate have ruined everything, especially in Nigeria. It's very difficult to find true love. Most people especially ladies now get married to escape poverty and hardship.

I said something similar on NL a while ago and some uncurious persons were arguing with me. The internet and social media especially have ended marriage as we knew it. Today everything is just cruise.

SpencerForbes:
One thing we often overlook is the "internet factor." With just a swipe, a lady can be talking to a man thousands of miles away. When you have that many options at your fingertips, many ask themselves why they should settle for one when they can keep five on rotation without any strings attached.

The hard truth is that a lot of young girls are actually dodging commitment. They’ve done the math and realized what they stand to lose—the constant attention, the gifts from different "simps," and the financial perks that come with being single and "available." They know that once they’re tied to one man, that tap mostly runs dry.

Then there’s the "packaging" on social media. These content creators post filtered, blissful versions of their relationships, and girls today go into dating expecting that 24/7 romance. They’re chasing a fantasy and forgetting that what happens off-camera is a different story entirely. By the time they realize they’ve been chasing shadows, time is no longer on their side. Honestly, the internet has done more to shake the foundation of marriage than help it.

Dpsychologist:
Let’s be real for a moment this isn’t a troll post, it’s a reality check.

Sometimes I ask myself: is marriage as we knew it simply outdated? Not because love is dead, but because the environment that once supported marriage has fundamentally changed.

Before you get angry, read to understand.

1. The Economy Has Redefined Commitment
In West Africa especially, marriage is no longer just emotional, it’s a financial stress test. As a man, if you’re not reasonably stable, marriage doesn’t bring peace; it brings pressure, anxiety, and in many cases, depression. Love doesn’t pay rent or school fees.

2. The Timeline Has Shifted
Decades ago, a 25-year-old man likely had years of work experience, a steady income, and a clear path.
Today? Many are unemployed graduates, interns, or still “finding themselves.” The system changed, but expectations didn’t.

3. Gender Equality Changed the Market (Not a Bad Thing Just Reality)
Women are educated, empowered, and ambitious and that’s progress. But it also means many now want a fully established man, not someone still under construction. Growth partnerships are rare; finished products are in demand.

4. Marriage Is Now High-Cost, High-Risk
Dowries were once symbolic. Today, some families treat marriage negotiations like asset liquidation.
Cost of living is brutal. Feeding yourself is hard enough add a spouse and children, and the math becomes scary.

5. Roles Are No Longer Clear
Back then, roles were defined (right or wrong). Today, roles are negotiated and negotiation requires emotional intelligence most people were never taught. Some outsource domestic roles. Others resent them. Tension follows.

6. Options Have Exploded
Travel was limited. Communities were smaller. Choices were fewer.
Now? Infinite options, endless comparisons, and constant dissatisfaction. Marriage used to signal responsibility. Today, many see it as a trap.

7. Tolerance Levels Have Dropped
People were more patient then sometimes too patient.
Today, tolerance is low. Exit doors are wide open. One mistake and it’s “I deserve better.”

8. Sex Is No Longer a Scarce Resource
Let’s not pretend. Intimacy once came mostly through marriage. That alone pushed commitment. Today, access is easy, so the incentive structure has changed.

So no, marriage isn’t dead.
But the conditions that made it work effortlessly in the past are gone.

Marriage now requires:

A. Strategy
B. Emotional maturity
C. Financial realism
D. Clear alignment and
E. Brutal honesty

If you’re doing it blindly, you’re gambling.

And before anyone asks
No, this isn’t me talking.
It’s my 95-year-old grandma observing the world and shaking her head.

The end.

Marriage only favors the children if the parents are rich. They have mummy and daddy available to manipulate and live comfortably however, the parents are useless if they are poor.

As a married man I don't really know what single life is in your 30s and 40s. I enjoyed single life till late 20s but at a point I started feeling like I need a permanent companion. The girls coming and going is just risky and unstable to my focused mind. I once felt lonely and had to drive out to club at 11pm.

Again, reality hit with children even if you got the right partner... You regret what you got yourself into but I am sure I wouldn't regret if I have constant flow of resources.

Marriage would be sweet if get your friend as a partner and then constant money flow. Anything outside these two condition is doom.

It's what the world wants... Push the different narratives, create classifications, individuality over commitment to another and so on.

How?
Entertainment
Internet
Propaganda
Lifestyle
Internet
Internet...

We are here now what next? Soon procreation will follow and will be controlled. Then monetised and then the true colours will be brought forward

New007:
You can't think again.

Using AI to write isn't for everybody.

Reading through the post, I only admired the way the post was written, but the message is far from reality.

It's just another 24 yo trying to deceive himself into believing that he can dodge responsibilities by subscribing to a certain way of thought.

Unfortunately, he leaned towards a machine... He is now seeking validation and looking for others to recruit into cult.

When he is 50 years, reality will dawn on him.

Dogalmighty17:
It became outdated long ago.

Mankind was in denial.

Too much romanticism.

The part about the economy redefining commitment is spot on. My cousin is 30 and still living at home because the math for starting a family just doesn't work right now. If you aren't financially stable, marriage just adds a layer of anxiety you don't need

Bible predicted such a time will come
Bible predicted knowledge wil increase and love will freeze as time passes. Now we have folks openly boasting of having cold hearts, and all.
The system is also deliberately making this happen. It's not coincidentally. Aside personal issues, many countries see population as a problem and are tightening the noose for family creations. Birth rates are declining and nobody sees a union as an advantage again.

Yes, marriage and relationship are now outdated. Everything has changed,only the blind seem not to notice. Our women are now becoming less feminine,hence making them less attractive for commitment. They believe they are now equal to men and don't wanna submit to any man. Two captains can't be in control of a ship. Women that are supposed to bring peace to their men are now busy bringing chaos. A man goes out to face the chaos of the world and comes back to his house to meet a bigger chaos in his wife. He is likened to a soldier fighting war on all fronts. It's just a matter of time before he is defeated. No man in his right senses will venture into marriage with this present day women.

capital No



Capital No



Capital No

Because ladies and girls reduced themselves to mere sex addicts and sex givers. They sold themselves out in their teens and twenties circle. Now most men ain't interested in the left over chaff including the wicked play boys and men that finished off these ladies in their blooming years.

All the street girls of today will suddenly start claiming great mothers tomorrow when they give birth and expecting everyone to treat and respect them as angels. Old things are pass away doesn't excuse you from the punishment of yesterday's deliberate sins and bad lifestyles.

Where are the virtuous women today?

Not old-fashioned...!

Just too expensive and psychologically draining for many, especially men.

Unfortunately marriage is now underrated because...

1. Sex is cheap to get outside wedlock.

2. Economy isn't smiling or friendly.

3. More women see themselves financially superior to men.

Truvelisback:
You have said it all. Marriage now is not for the weak because the harsh economy, poverty rate, unemployment and underemployment rate have ruined everything, especially in Nigeria. It's very difficult to find true love. Most people especially ladies now get married to escape poverty and hardship.

Yea. They marry who is ready.

ManOfSon:
I said something similar on NL a while ago and some uncurious persons were arguing with me. The internet and social media especially have ended marriage as we knew it. Today everything is just cruise.

It’s basically the hard truth that a lot of people aren't ready to hear because they’d rather lean into the "optimism" of a fantasy than face reality.

The issue is that social media, especially TikTok, has turned marriage into a performance. Everyone is chasing that "fairytale" love and saving videos of million-naira weddings, but if you look at the comments, it's clear the focus is entirely on the event, not the commitment. they care about the wedding than the marriage.

Very few creators are actually teaching how to sustain a home. Instead, the algorithm is flooded with "10 signs he doesn’t love you" or "If your man isn't doing X, leave him." BS☹️. A lot of young women are feeding on this kind of content, and it’s increasing their expectations.

If there isn't some sort of reality check soon, we’re going to see even more broken homes and single-parent situations, all because people are trying to live out a scripted internet lifestyle in the real world.

omoredia:
If u like no marry when u dey price pampas at 50 years na u go catch the shame

But people are already buying pampas at 25years without marriage. Baby mama's and Baby daddy's are gaining grounds. Even those that married are transitioning to Baby mamas and Baby daddy.

No. Just many people are still stupid and lack morals

SpencerForbes:
It’s basically the hard truth that a lot of people aren't ready to hear because they’d rather lean into the "optimism" of a fantasy than face reality.

The issue is that social media, especially TikTok, has turned marriage into a performance. Everyone is chasing that "fairytale" love and saving videos of million-naira weddings, but if you look at the comments, it's clear the focus is entirely on the event, not the commitment. they care about the wedding than the marriage.

Very few creators are actually teaching how to sustain a home. Instead, the algorithm is flooded with "10 signs he doesn’t love you" or "If your man isn't doing X, leave him." BS☹️. A lot of young women are feeding on this kind of content, and it’s increasing their expectations.

If there isn't some sort of reality check soon, we’re going to see even more broken homes and single-parent situations, all because people are trying to live out a scripted internet lifestyle in the real world.

That's why I said "Mobile phone" is a major singular cause of Marriage breakups.

As a man if you're not fit/strong/ready financially, emotionally, physically, madnessly, crazinessly ehn😕 pls don't enter marriage o. U must be able to lead.

Dpsychologist:
Let’s be real for a moment this isn’t a troll post, it’s a reality check.

Sometimes I ask myself: is marriage as we knew it simply outdated? Not because love is dead, but because the environment that once supported marriage has fundamentally changed.

Before you get angry, read to understand.

1. The Economy Has Redefined Commitment
In West Africa especially, marriage is no longer just emotional, it’s a financial stress test. As a man, if you’re not reasonably stable, marriage doesn’t bring peace; it brings pressure, anxiety, and in many cases, depression. Love doesn’t pay rent or school fees.

2. The Timeline Has Shifted
Decades ago, a 25-year-old man likely had years of work experience, a steady income, and a clear path.
Today? Many are unemployed graduates, interns, or still “finding themselves.” The system changed, but expectations didn’t.

3. Gender Equality Changed the Market (Not a Bad Thing Just Reality)
Women are educated, empowered, and ambitious and that’s progress. But it also means many now want a fully established man, not someone still under construction. Growth partnerships are rare; finished products are in demand.

4. Marriage Is Now High-Cost, High-Risk
Dowries were once symbolic. Today, some families treat marriage negotiations like asset liquidation.
Cost of living is brutal. Feeding yourself is hard enough add a spouse and children, and the math becomes scary.

5. Roles Are No Longer Clear
Back then, roles were defined (right or wrong). Today, roles are negotiated and negotiation requires emotional intelligence most people were never taught. Some outsource domestic roles. Others resent them. Tension follows.

6. Options Have Exploded
Travel was limited. Communities were smaller. Choices were fewer.
Now? Infinite options, endless comparisons, and constant dissatisfaction. Marriage used to signal responsibility. Today, many see it as a trap.

7. Tolerance Levels Have Dropped
People were more patient then sometimes too patient.
Today, tolerance is low. Exit doors are wide open. One mistake and it’s “I deserve better.”

8. Sex Is No Longer a Scarce Resource
Let’s not pretend. Intimacy once came mostly through marriage. That alone pushed commitment. Today, access is easy, so the incentive structure has changed.

So no, marriage isn’t dead.
But the conditions that made it work effortlessly in the past are gone.

Marriage now requires:

A. Strategy
B. Emotional maturity
C. Financial realism
D. Clear alignment and
E. Brutal honesty

If you’re doing it blindly, you’re gambling.

And before anyone asks
No, this isn’t me talking.
It’s my 95-year-old grandma observing the world and shaking her head.

The end.

Always on point!

flexyrule:
Reading through the post, I only admired the way the post was written, but the message is far from reality.

It's just another 24 yo trying to deceive himself into believing that he can dodge responsibilities by subscribing to a certain way of thought.

Unfortunately, he leaned towards a machine... He is now seeking validation and looking for others to recruit into cult.

When he is 50 years, reality will dawn on him.

Exactly. Young men trying to run from responsibility.

The thing don cast o jare

My own contribution will be based on what I think is wrong with marriage in Nigeria and Africa which is primarily tying marriages with having kids as a must.
Kids in a marriage put too much financial burden on the couples and it is seriously affecting marriages in this age of private schooling, urban dwelling and having to pay for this and that.
If we can start reorientating people that marriage is not just about having kids but two people bonding forever and having each other to depend on for the rest of their lives. Having kids is good but couples shouldn't allow that to be a must have burden

The definition and concept of marriage changed when a Grandpa Senator married a 16 years old girl.

What was the man looking for?
And what was the girl looking for?

Yawns.

Nigerians that are getting married everyday.

Since youths of this generation started marrying for 'love', the noble institution of marriage became a nightmare and uninteresting.

And what if the couples are finding it hard to conceive? Does that mean they are not yet married?

paxonel:
Marriage begins when a child enters the union.
All these formalities called wedding, bride price payment, etc, does not define marriage