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Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by bluefilm: 7:23pm On Dec 23, 2025
FreeIgboho:
See my write-up above. Do you still think it is a woman’s world?
In the villages it is even worse. A woman can't be seen with a man for years after her husband dies, while a man can be sleeping with his second wife same night. In the old days the alive wife gets buried alive with her husband!
Childbirth, menstraul cycles etc. are nature's design

Each sex have their own natural crosses to bear...

But you and I can never argue about the fact that once the task at hand demands taking huge risks, it is normally men who are expected to 'man' up.

That's why men go to war

Men learn survival skills

Men build all the structures and facilities that make the society function

And why do men do all these things?

So that WOMEN and children can survive!
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by advanceDNA: 7:40pm On Dec 23, 2025
FreeIgboho:
See your conditions for the female to get what should be naturally hers - "Many educated wealthy men now have wills". How about no education, no wills? How about traditionally?
Check the villages. A woman can't be seen with a man for years after her husband dies, while a man can be sleeping with his second wife same night! In the old days the alive wife actually gets buried alive with her husband!
Just admit things are unfair to women because it is men that set it up!
There are systems that favour men more than women a vise verse and it's men that set both up

By the way.......Why are your comments ending with "just admit" .....is that a way of bullying someone into submission or you just feel you view is the only correct one hence, they shouldn't have a their own submissions,..
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by MadamExcellency: 7:50pm On Dec 23, 2025
First understand the context before writing a rebuttal. What he is saying is that it doesn't matter how good, moral and incorruptible a man is, without a good financial footings, he is scorned, degraded and shamed by the society and on the contrary, a good lady/woman with morals but nothing in her bank balance is still classified as virtuous and appreciated in the same man's world.

SIRTee15:
guy quit this boring and unnecessary rhetoric
women also suffer double standard.
They are shamed for body counts and having multiple sexual partners.
no one cares if a x video of a man is leaked, he may even be hailed for his performance in the video. a woman's leaked x video is a disaster for her and her future.
An ugly man can compensate with money, charm and good humour. not the same for an ugly woman- even if she has good character and well domesticated. a woman's first and ultimate attraction is her beauty irrespective of lies peddled by men.
a woman that has big yansh and breast and fair has made it in life (even if she has very ugly character) courtesy of men.

women have biological clock, a man at 40 can get married to 21 yr old princess. a woman at 40 has very little choices for suitors. baby daddy is not a limitation in anyway, he can even get married to a virgin girl. A single mother already have a hard life by virtue of that tag.

Nature deals with us all in different ways, instead of moaning and sounding irritating, each gender should embrace his/her role in life and be ready to be accountable for his/her action.
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by thomas2024: 7:53pm On Dec 23, 2025
nairalanda1:
I've seen many men who when they fall, a lot of people help them up .
Oga mention names for here if e sure for you.
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by SixSeven:
MadamExcellency:
First understand the context before writing a rebuttal. What he is saying is that it doesn't matter how good, moral and incorruptible a man is, without a good financial footings, he is scorned, degraded and shamed by the society and on the contrary, a good lady/woman with morals but nothing in her bank balance is still classified as virtuous and appreciated in the same man's world.
Any sensible girl or young lady or even woman reading what you wrote here and still doesn't understand what is the most important thing of value a woman has has missed it. Women are the guardians of earth, I hope people learn from your comment. You passed a big lesson in what you wrote.

Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by oyeb15:
ThePureDiamond:
Okay, according to your analogy, the husband of Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala should do what then?! look for a way to drag her down, lower than his level in order to massage his ego??!

Women who ends up with men of your mentality, are always in perpetual bandage, because - every attempt the woman makes to rise and prosper are always antagonized and stepped-down by the man, due to his insecurities.
Who knows Ngozi husband today. Is she cooking for her husband or can d man control her.
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by FreeIgboho: 8:13pm On Dec 23, 2025
Kobojunkie:
. There are! undecided
Give examples
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by AfDapone: 8:14pm On Dec 23, 2025
oyeb15:
When a man makes money,he believes he needs more women but when a woman makes money,she believes she need no man.

The moment your wife get richer and greater than you, then u are gone.
No, they still need men they can toss around and discard away like tissue paper. They still can not do without men, naah.
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by FreeIgboho: 8:16pm On Dec 23, 2025
advanceDNA:
There are systems that favour men more than women a vise verse and it's men that set both up

By the way.......Why are your comments ending with "just admit" .....is that a way of bullying someone into submission or you just feel you view is the only correct one hence, they shouldn't have a their own submissions,..
Because it is very annoying, people hugely favored by nature, then again hugely favored by a system set up by men, are the ones always complainning!

Mention systems set up in this society that favour women
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by FreeIgboho: 8:24pm On Dec 23, 2025
bluefilm:
Childbirth, menstraul cycles etc. are nature's design

Each sex have their own natural crosses to bear...

But you and I can never argue about the fact that once the task at hand demands taking huge risks, it is normally men who are expected to 'man' up.

That's why men go to war

Men learn survival skills

Men build all the structures and facilities that make the society function

And why do men do all these things?

So that WOMEN and children can survive!
Well, you start by admitting that nature has been unfair to women. Would have been fairer if men bore periods while women bore pregnancy. Instead men are left completely free!

We're discussing fairness. Men monopolized all those things you mentioned. These days women are let into the army, police, and lucrative markets and professions. Before, men monopolized all
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by ManknowThyself(m): 8:37pm On Dec 23, 2025
Many are called, few are chosen.


Who the cap fit, let them put it on.
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by Mattswaggz: 8:39pm On Dec 23, 2025
SIRTee15:
guy quit this boring and unnecessary rhetoric
women also suffer double standard.
They are shamed for body counts and having multiple sexual partners.
no one cares if a x video of a man is leaked, he may even be hailed for his performance in the video. a woman's leaked x video is a disaster for her and her future.
An ugly man can compensate with money, charm and good humour. not the same for an ugly woman- even if she has good character and well domesticated. a woman's first and ultimate attraction is her beauty irrespective of lies peddled by men.
a woman that has big yansh and breast and fair has made it in life (even if she has very ugly character) courtesy of men.

women have biological clock, a man at 40 can get married to 21 yr old princess. a woman at 40 has very little choices for suitors. baby daddy is not a limitation in anyway, he can even get married to a virgin girl. A single mother already have a hard life by virtue of that tag.

Nature deals with us all in different ways, instead of moaning and sounding irritating, each gender should embrace his/her role in life and be ready to be accountable for his/her action.
What stops the "ugly woman" in ur write up from also compensating it with money?. undecided .
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by Mattswaggz: 8:41pm On Dec 23, 2025
Fiscus105:
Not until you know you are head in your family, and the wife and kids your wife will bear for u through excruciating pains will bear your paternal name for life.



Genz guys getting lazy on daily basis, shifting responsible to women.
What do you mean by shifting responsibilities?......is equality no longer a thing or what?. undecided .
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by Cum4me(m): 8:58pm On Dec 23, 2025
hatchy:
Don't say that. It is natural to fall. Not everyone would fall, but when it happens, it has a way of teaching us what we don't know. It redirect our lives.

I was once in such situation. I never knew life could become harsh and unfriendly. Closest friends turned their backs on me. Even family would abandon you in some cases. I became a laughing stock. It wasn't a good experience for years but it thought me a lot. However, it brought me closer to God. We all seek his face in difficult times and he never fails. I'm not a born again, Infact you don't need to be a born again for God's mercies and grace. He is so loving.

Eventually I rose again, this time, more better than I was before. I rediscovered who I am. I conquered territories and broke boundaries and achieve a lot that seemed impossible before now.
To fall is to learn and rise with full force. It will unleash the hidden potentials in you which you never knew was there before.

Unfortunately many people fall and just accept their fate that way. It's not supposed to be so
how can I like this post millions time. It's not easy brotherly I congratulate you
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by ThePureDiamond(m):
oyeb15:
Who knows Ngozi husband today. Is she cooking for her husband or can d mom control her.
That he isn't as popular as Madame Ngozi doesn't mean he is a nobody and has been condemned into oblivion. The man is doing very well for himself, even with the exclusion of Madame Ngozi's formidable success.

You're not privy to their personal lives, so you wouldn't know whether or not she cooks for her husband, would you?! Don't sound confident with mere and superficial assumptions.

Well, summarily, even if she isn't cooking for her husband; even if she can't be controlled by the mum; these doesn't validate or justify being a clog in the wheels of progress of someone you call "a wife". It is utterly cruel and sinister.

You, as a person, won't want anyone to place you under any form of limitation, would you?!

If the wife turns megalomaniacal, haughty and starts to daringly cross established boundaries when she achieves success, do try and call her attention to them. Buhh if she persists in those undesirable demeanors, then, annul the union and go your own way.

You being ambivalent or paranoid about what "she could become" when she clinches success - doesn't make it right to position yourself as a true enemy of her upliftment or progress.
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by advanceDNA:
FreeIgboho:
Because it is very annoying, people hugely favored by nature, then again hugely favored by a system set up by men, are the ones always complainning!

Mention systems set up in this society that favour women
..sometimes the system are designed, sometimes they are just there .. either way, people will complain from their point of experience i.e., based on how nature/society has dealt with them...

In the UK...driver's licence are cheaper for women than men because one man woke up and claimed nature made women more kind and gentle claiming they drive more safer ....

Men designed the System that said it's better for men to go and die protecting the society.,...how may times have u heard women soldiers killed by Bokoharam?? Zero....Women are not posted to battle fronts even the west that scream equality...

Men set up system where Single mothers are paid benefits in the UK, nobody pays single fathers for not having a spouse to support him...

If u marry a stay at home mum...she gets half or your property at divorce because one slmp designed a system that established she has contributed to your entire wealth by just staying at home and not chasing her own life...

Check the statistics of all the rape cases perpetrated by women and even other criminal offences .......the sentence are just naturally lesser than men......a phenomenon designed by a male system known as "benevolent sexism" or the "female leniency effect" .....

If u know the amount of women and girl empowerment programmes in this country and in the west.,.u'll start wondering if someone is against the boy child or men...

Just last week...one morally bankrupt mid 30s lady teacher was caught in a statutory rape situation with a teenage boy....
. but alas....even women on nairaland started saying there is no foul because of the gender of the victim.... ...and that's how it is for men,....society expects unwritten things from you they don't expect from women that even overrides established law.....

Last year, I was applying for a programme ......i saw that women are encouraged to apply as they will offer them more slots & scholarship

..as in..?? I'm like..it shouldn't be this obvious naaaa..,.. and the sad reality is that women don't want to be in the engineering fields for long, even when they study it....they eventually branch off to something else more feminine which is why human psychology says u can only force equal opportunity for men and women, but u can't force equal outcomes, because most women will always chose the easy way out...

And there is the sex system, which women are naturally custodian of.....u spread u get pregnant ..but if you don't want the baby..the man doesn't have a say...
.the man cannot force you or drag you to keep the baby......But hey!!..if u want a baby and a man isn't ready, he doesn't have a say.....infact you can pin another man's baby on him if you like.... grin
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by FlipModeSquade(m): 9:58pm On Dec 23, 2025
nairalanda1:
I've seen many men who when they fall, a lot of people help them up .
That doesn't change the norm,so go sit your *#@ down.
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by Hassanmaye(m): 10:10pm On Dec 23, 2025
vdestro:
You know the craziest part of it? It is that he is mocked and ridiculed by his fellow men and not just by women, alone.

Then when the tables turn, it is still men who do the excuses and sympathies for a woman. You will hear leave am now, na woman she be.
Generally men are stupid people? They worship women and mock men
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by SIRTee15: 10:31pm On Dec 23, 2025
MadamExcellency:
First understand the context before writing a rebuttal. What he is saying is that it doesn't matter how good, moral and incorruptible a man is, without a good financial footings, he is scorned, degraded and shamed by the society and on the contrary, a good lady/woman with morals but nothing in her bank balance is still classified as virtuous and appreciated in the same man's world.
because the standard are different. Societal expectation for men is different from the women.
If he understands that, why the inconsequential comparison.

When we place women on standards and insist they close their legs right as single women, do we do the same for men?
Don't we mock women who tried to gaslight society by telling us why are we not monitoring men.huh

All these is just wasteful gaslighting. I even understand in the west where women have small yansh to shake.

In Africa, the only women who enjoy any double standard at all are those with big breast and yansh.
They are the ones that command 2.5 million from men b4 they can even get her number.

All other women na OYO just like the rest of men. The women even have it harder.
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by Silentgroper(m): 10:38pm On Dec 23, 2025
vdestro:
You know the craziest part of it? It is that he is mocked and ridiculed by his fellow men and not just by women, alone.

Then when the tables turn, it is still men who do the excuses and sympathies for a woman. You will hear leave am now, na woman she be.
It's fkn sad..



I wanna cry.
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by Silentgroper(m): 10:39pm On Dec 23, 2025
donleo92:
The worst thing that can happen to a man is if you fall with the wrong woman......


Na suicide.

It's even better to rise with the wrong woman, than to fall with the wrong woman,

As a man, how to overcome a wrong wife, is to always have money more than her.
With the wrong woman ..


I don't think it's so hard to call off whatever they both got together...
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by FreeIgboho: 10:39pm On Dec 23, 2025
advanceDNA:
..sometimes the system are designed, sometimes they are just there .. either way, people will complain from their point of experience i.e., based on how nature/society has dealt with them...

In the UK...driver's licence are cheaper for women than men because one man woke up and claimed nature made women more kind and gentle claiming they drive more safer ....

Men designed the System that said it's better for men to go and die protecting the society.,...how may times have u heard women soldiers killed by Bokoharam?? Zero....Women are not posted to battle fronts even the west that scream equality...

Men set up system where Single mothers are paid benefits in the UK, nobody pays single fathers for not having a spouse to support him...

If u marry a stay at home mum...she gets half or your property at divorce because one slmp designed a system that established she has contributed to your entire wealth by just staying at home and not chasing her own life...

Check the statistics of all the rape cases perpetrated by women and even other criminal offences .......the sentence are just naturally lesser than men......a phenomenon designed by a male system known as "benevolent sexism" or the "female leniency effect" .....

If u know the amount of women and girl empowerment programmes in this country and in the west.,.u'll start wondering if someone is against the boy child or men...

Just last week...one morally bankrupt mid 30s lady teacher was caught in a statutory rape situation with a teenage boy....
. but alas....even women on nairaland started saying there is no foul because of the gender of the victim.... ...and that's how it is for men,....society expects unwritten things from you they don't expect from women that even overrides established law.....

Last year, I was applying for a programme ......i saw that women are encouraged to apply as they will offer them more slots & scholarship

..as in..?? I'm like..it shouldn't be this obvious naaaa..,.. and the sad reality is that women don't want to be in the engineering fields for long, even when they study it....they eventually branch off to something else more feminine which is why hua psychology says u can only force equal opportunity for men and women, but u can't force equal outcomes, because most women will always chose the easy way out...

And there is the sex system, which women are naturally custodian of.....u spread u get pregnant ..but if you don't want the baby..the man doesn't have a say...
.the man cannot force you or drag you to keep the baby......But hey!!..if u want a baby and a man isn't ready, he doesn't have a day.....infact you can pin another man's baby on him if you like.... grin
So I take it you concede that Nigerian society is unfair to women simce I clearly said THIS society NOT UK society. UK and US have become unfair to men.

I happen to have a large sense of fairness and always botheref by unfairness. Men basically monopolized all those areas you mentioned, not because women didn't want to be a part of them. Only recrntly are women allowed to make millions boxing, like men. So also army, police, markets, professions, etc. No matter how talented, a woman couldn’t participate bfore. Even in science and inventions, literature, etc. Men monopolized everything. Even the Bible says a woman can't be a preacher hence how many mega churhes and the millions from them are owned by women?
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by Kobojunkie: 10:40pm On Dec 23, 2025
MadamExcellency:
First understand the context before writing a rebuttal. What he is saying is that it doesn't matter how good, moral and incorruptible a man is, without a good financial footings, he is scorned, degraded and shamed by the society and on the contrary, a good lady/woman with morals but nothing in her bank balance is still classified as virtuous and appreciated in the same man's world.
That is because for the longest, women weren't even allowed to own property without acorn. That is the system created by men for men. Men who end up degraded by the very system created to favor and raise men over women should not cry when booed by the women their system was created to shut out. 🥱🥱🥱
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by funsho75(m): 11:08pm On Dec 23, 2025
SIRTee15:
guy quit this boring and unnecessary rhetoric
women also suffer double standard.
They are shamed for body counts and having multiple sexual partners.
no one cares if a x video of a man is leaked, he may even be hailed for his performance in the video. a woman's leaked x video is a disaster for her and her future.
An ugly man can compensate with money, charm and good humour. not the same for an ugly woman- even if she has good character and well domesticated. a woman's first and ultimate attraction is her beauty irrespective of lies peddled by men.
a woman that has big yansh and breast and fair has made it in life (even if she has very ugly character) courtesy of men.

women have biological clock, a man at 40 can get married to 21 yr old princess. a woman at 40 has very little choices for suitors. baby daddy is not a limitation in anyway, he can even get married to a virgin girl. A single mother already have a hard life by virtue of that tag.

Nature deals with us all in different ways, instead of moaning and sounding irritating, each gender should embrace his/her role in life and be ready to be accountable for his/her action.
I think most of the things you listed are just about choice and not really nature...

If woman of 40 want a guy in his 21, she will get but most women will not.

About baby daddy... Why most guys don't go for women with kids is because of the financial responsibility.

Am not disputing the fact that double standard exit for both genders.

Am saying sometimes it is not double standards
It just choice

Most men will want to marry slay Queen wen they don't hv money to maintain her... If she rejects it not double standard.. It just wrong choice
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by Kobojunkie:
funsho75:
✓ I think most of the things you listed are just about choice and not really nature...
✓ If woman of 40 want a guy in his 21, she will get but most women will not.
✓ About baby daddy... Why most guys don't go for women with kids is because of the financial responsibility.
✓ Am not disputing the fact that double standard exit for both genders. Am saying sometimes it is not double standards
It just choice
✓ Most men will want to marry slay Queen wen they don't hv money to maintain her... If she rejects it not double standard.. It just wrong choice
You are being entirely disingenuous and this isn't in any way unexpected. 🥱🥱🥱

2. In a system where society demeans women in their 40s as literally being past their prime, what mother would want her son to bring home such a woman as daughter-in-law? The man would literally need to disavow his people to get that to happen. Or the woman would need to pay the family off well-well to make that happen. undecided

3. But the women marrying those baby daddies are ok with the responsibility of taking care of a child by another woman, particularly since that may be the only way to have the man. Abi? 🥱🥱🥱

It is not a choice (both are not equally weighed), but a double standard...let's call it what it is. 🥱🥱

4. Most women would also want to marry the rich, handsome guy whose preferences they do not meet. What you described there with slay queens preferring only those men who can afford them applies also to men who have standards as far as women they will or will not date. Those have nothing to do with double-standards or society, but personal preferences individuals have. Let's not come here to confuse one for the other. 🥱🥱
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by FreeIgboho: 1:57am On Dec 24, 2025
MadamExcellency:
First understand the context before writing a rebuttal. What he is saying is that it doesn't matter how good, moral and incorruptible a man is, without a good financial footings, he is scorned, degraded and shamed by the society and on the contrary, a good lady/woman with morals but nothing in her bank balance is still classified as virtuous and appreciated in the same man's world.
Same way, no matter how good, moral, incorruptible, AND RICH a woman is, if she's not appealing she won't find a man to marry that fits her. All a man has to be is RICH and everything is ok, but with a woman even being hardworking and RICH doesn't guarantee anything!
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by Kobojunkie: 2:06am On Dec 24, 2025
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by nairalanda1(m): 2:06am On Dec 24, 2025
FlipModeSquade:
That doesn't change the norm,so go sit your *#@ down.
You seem to get easily upset.
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by abbey621(m): 2:57am On Dec 24, 2025
FreeIgboho:
See your conditions for the female to get what should be naturally hers - "Many educated wealthy men now have wills". How about no education, no wills? How about traditionally?
Check the villages. A woman can't be seen with a man for years after her husband dies, while a man can be sleeping with his second wife same night! In the old days the alive wife actually gets buried alive with her husband!
Just admit things are unfair to women because it is men that set it up!
We are talking about now compared to 30 years ago, WHY WOULD ANY WOMAN MARRY A MAN WITH NO EDUCATION, NO WILL & NO PLAN? Una no dey learn? The people you're describing are mostly poor or average at best, MAJORITY of village men are not leaving behind a mansion or enough money to secure his family for the rest of their lives. We are not talking about a million or two or that old village family house but REAL INHERITANCE!
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by Kobojunkie: 3:04am On Dec 24, 2025
abbey621:
➜We are talking about now compared to 30 years ago, WHY WOULD ANY WOMAN MARRY A MAN WITH NO EDUCATION, NO WILL & NO PLAN? Una no dey learn? The people you're describing are mostly poor or average at best, MAJORITY of village men are not leaving behind a mansion or enough money to secure his family for the rest of their lives. W[b]e are not talking about a million or two or that old village family house but REAL INHERITANCE![/b]
The poor in Nigeria number above 170 million(women combined). And most of those men in that bracket have no real inheritance to offer anyone, including their children. Now, if the vast majority of Nigerian women "learn" and decide they should remain single, una go label them evening newspapers with bad characters? 🥱🥱🥱
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by abbey621(m): 4:02am On Dec 24, 2025
Kobojunkie:
The poor in Nigeria number above 170 million(women combined). And most of those men in that bracket have no real inheritance to offer anyone, including their children. Now, if the vast majority of Nigerian women "learn" and decide they should remain single, una go label them evening newspapers with bad characters? 🥱🥱🥱
The topic is inheritance, what business does a poor man have with inheritance? Read my initial comment and reply accordingly, I don't give a flip about man or woman dynamics in 9ja but the topic of inheritance is not for poor people!
Re: Dear Men, The Double Standards Are Real by Kobojunkie: 4:30am On Dec 24, 2025
abbey621:
➜The topic is inheritance, what business does a poor man have with inheritance? Read my initial comment and reply accordingly, I don't give a flip about man or woman dynamics in 9ja but the topic of inheritance is not for poor people!
But wait... You posed the following question, did you not?
abbey621:
We are talking about now compared to 30 years ago, WHY WOULD ANY WOMAN MARRY A MAN WITH NO EDUCATION, NO WILL & NO PLAN? Una no dey learn?...
And then you went on to state the following ...
abbey621:
...The people you're describing are mostly poor or average at best, MAJORITY of village men are not leaving behind a mansion or enough money to secure his family for the rest of their lives. We are not talking about a million or two or that old village family house but REAL INHERITANCE!
Come on... this was never truly about inheritance, as the one who brought up the mention of inheritance was you... And yes, even children from poor backgrounds hope for some form of inheritance, even though more times out of not, their fathers never leave behind more than just the clothes on their backs when they die.

Now, as for the previous post,
➜See your conditions for the female to get what should be naturally hers - "Many educated wealthy men now have wills". How about no education, no wills? How about traditionally?
Check the villages. A woman can't be seen with a man for years after her husband dies, while a man can be sleeping with his second wife same night! In the old days the alive wife actually gets buried alive with her husband! Just admit things are unfair to women because it is men that set it up!
To this day, what is described above continues to happen even among the poor, where you rightly pointed out that there is next to no inheritance to fight over in those situations. Yet widows are held back from moving in many years after the demise of their husbands, while widowers are literally allowed to do as they please whenever they please. How you came up with insisting this has nothing to do with the system having a double standard is still beyond me. undecided
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