₦airaland Forum

We worked in the same company but different locations. We were both heads of the branch In different locations. We were friends even before he gained employment into the job.

Before he joined the employment based on my recommendation to him (though I didn't facilitate his employment) he would come to my office to interact with me and my subordinates would take offence stating that he was interfering with official duties.

After he joined as head in another branch, he would visit my office once in a while. He became friends with my subordinates. At a point my subordinates rose up against me, ganged up and set me up leading to my sack.

In the heat of the conflict, this friend would come to the office, exchange pleasantries with my subordinates and even ask one to call or meet him after work. I was hurt.

First question is that was it fair on my part that his relationship with my subordinates who were scheming against me at the time hurt me?

He continued to associate with them so I resolved not to communicate with him again.

After my sack, he called me many times but I didn't answer. He called me yesterday and I answered because his name didn't show:

I made him aware of my displeasure about how he continued to associate with my subordinates. He indicated that his association with them was harmless so I was wrong to have withdrawn. And that we let sleeping dogs lie.

2..Have I overreacted?
3. How would you have responded to such a friend?

Another one! playing loosy goosy with the term friends!

Everyone that greets you, calls you, and gists you isn’t your friend! Learn the difference between an associate and a friend. You must uderstand what a friend is before you invest in people emotionally.

He isn’t your friend, he’s just someone you know; Not everyone is your friend. He probably only sees you the way he sees your enemies which is some people he knows!

Learn to use people amd situations to your advantage especially during war. You weren't smart enough. If I were you I would have gathered intel through the mutual "friend". First start with something trivial and watch if he's got a loose mouth or not before gradually using him to pick out information indirectly. I say indirectly because it's safer so he can't say you said such and such. Office politics is not a game you play with emotions rather you play people's emotions intelligently cos it's safer with no permanent friends or permanent enemies. Everyone is using everyone. Friendship no dey work place. Everyone came for something and they're all up to something... good or bad

NEWBIN:
1...Have I overreacted?
2. How would you have responded to such a friend?

1. From what you wrote, you didn't overreact. 🥱🥱🥱

2. People are different. You are wrong in assuming that everyone you regard as your friend would have the same values and boundaries that you do. He made his decision to continue associating, disregarding your concerns. You just need to accept him the way he is and move forward knowing that. 🥱🥱🥱

If you feel you were unjustly let go, then I suggest you file necessary papers either to be reinstated or compensated for damage and losses. 🥱🥱

Know from here that adult friendships no dey always turn out like friendship between children. Goodluck!🥱🥱🥱

kiddaz:
✓ Learn to use people amd situations to your advantage especially during war. You weren't smart enough. If I were you I would have gathered intel through the mutual "friend". First start with something trivial and watch if he's got a loose mouth or not before gradually using him to pick out information indirectly. I say indirectly because it's safer so he can't say you said such and such. Office politics is not a game you play with emotions rather you play people's emotions intelligently cos it's safer with no permanent friends or permanent enemies. Everyone is using everyone. Friendship no dey work place. Everyone came for something and they're all up to something... good or bad

You don't seem to know much about friendships, do you? What makes you think that her mutual friend was not already leaking information to the other side on her given that he kept his relationship with the others going even while they were giving OP a hard time? 🥱🥱🥱

You are not in any position to determine what others should like or associate with.

You got sacked, your so called friends associated with those you believed conspired about you.

How many people are involved? Can all of them be wrong ?

I don’t really know where to come in,but you clearly did not overreacted,losing a job is a big deal and your reaction is quite alright…

I do not think your friend is totally wrong,you can’t tell a man who to play with,but you can choose who to play with as a man yourself…..




But again,what’s life without proper bedmatics skills seff,I’m here to solve all your woes