₦airaland Forum

Happy new year my fellow Nairalanders.

Please guys, I want to ask a question. As a guy,can you allow your fiancee to be receiving calls from guys right in your presence? As a guy,can you overlook such behavior from the woman who claims to love you ?

Please,mods help me push this thread to the front page because I'm in this kind of situation at this moment and I'm So so confused.

Nlfpmod
obembet
Dominique
mynd44
Seun .

You are putting the cart before the horse.

It’s like asking if a woman should allow his man have different mistresses.

The ball is not in the man’s court, since he should not be responsible for how his fiancée should behave.

What he is responsible for is to give commitment to a woman that knows how to coordinate herself. A woman is a wife first, before being made a wife by a man symbolically.

A potential wife will not do any of the things you listed, as she has the capability to coordinate herself independently.

If you’re a man and this is one of your problems, then I am sorry to break it to you, you’ve chosen wrongly:

PureSperm:
➜Happy new year my fellow Nairalanders. Please guys, I want to ask a question. As a guy,can you allow your fiancee to be receiving calls from guys right in your presence? As a guy,can you overlook such behavior from the woman who claims to love you ?
Please,mods help me push this thread to the front page because I'm in this kind of situation at this moment and I'm So so confused.

It is not for you to allow or disallow something/anything for a woman. It is instead for you to know to remove yourself from a situation when you realize that a boundary of yours is being violated. What that means is that before you date at all, you should make sure that the woman in question is compatible with what you are looking for. You don't go out there to date a woman whom you know does not fit well with you and then turn around to demonize or harass her for not meeting your boundaries. That is controlling behavior. 🥱🥱🥱

Here's a simple dating tip for you. I am sure back in JSS abi na SSS you learned of Venn Diagram and how they can be used to define different sets that either intersect at some point or don't any all. Draw a Venn diagram to represent all women out there who are attracted to you or whose type you may be. Then list your boundaries and make sure to focus your dating energy only on that smaller subset of women that align with all of your boundaries, making sure to stay clearly away from those who don't, even though you are their type. 🥱🥱

Back to the issue at hand, given that you think she is OK with receiving calls from guys in your presence is an absolute no for you, the best way forward is for you to no longer continue with this girlfriend of yours. Break up with her so she can find herself a man more comfortable with her choices in life, while you go off to find yourself a girl more comfortable with your choices in this. 🥱🥱

A person who will cheat on you will cheat on you no matter how hard you try to please them, marshall their activities, or control their very lives. Boundaries are not set up for you to use as weapons to control others with. Rather, they are meant to help you protect yourself from unnecessary stress and from people who may not align with you.

The moment you create room for that is the moment you plant the seed of disrespect in the relationship. Of course, you don't wanna know what disrespect brings in a relationship - do you?

pansophist:
You are putting the cart before the horse.

It’s like asking if a woman should allow his man have different mistresses.

The ball is not in the man’s court, since he should not be responsible for how his fiancée should behave.

What he is responsible for is to give commitment to a woman that knows how to coordinate herself. A woman is a wife first, before being made a wife by a man symbolically.

A potential wife will not do any of the things you listed, as she has the capability to coordinate herself independently.

If you’re a man and this is one of your problems, then I am sorry to break it to you, you’ve chosen wrongly:

Pansophist Happy New Year Sir.



May God Keep you alive till a very old age and we could also drink from your pool of vast knowledge.

Yes and it has to be on speaker..

pansophist:
You are putting the cart before the horse.

It’s like asking if a woman should allow his man have different mistresses.

The ball is not in the man’s court, since he should not be responsible for how his fiancée should behave.

What he is responsible for is to give commitment to a woman that knows how to coordinate herself. A woman is a wife first, before being made a wife by a man symbolically.

A potential wife will not do any of the things you listed, as she has the capability to coordinate herself independently.

If you’re a man and this is one of your problems, then I am sorry to break it to you, you’ve chosen wrongly:

A man in this context doesn't exactly mean other male suitors... A man could be anybody ranging from boss to dad , brother and whatnots ..

As long as she puts the call on speaker especially if it's a male , I'm good...