₦airaland Forum

greggng:
The truth is that when a man is broke ...his sexual urge dies ...

They don't understand this here. Even a young vibrant 20 something year old man will not perform well if his mind isn't stable due to being broke or something else is bothering the mind him

Mikocake:
I’m having the feeling that Op feels the husband deprived her of her youthful life by marrying her off @22, but my sister let me tell you the truth, nothing dey street oo. I don’t know who might be advising or influencing you to feel inadequate in your marriage but there are no perfect marriage anywhere. I’ve seen cases like this and the women always turn bitter after leaving their husbands because they realize there’s no love in the street. Don’t leave your home to turn sidechick to someone’s else husband oo. All the problems you listed about your husband can be worked on. I think his inability in bed can be attributed to his habit of drinking alcohol which when cut out or reduced, will get better. If his father is still alive, talk to him about the situation or a male figure that he respects. And remember, please don’t cheat on him cuz once you do, kiss your marriage goodbye. Men who don’t cheat hardly forgive cheating oo

I quite agree with you to some extent. People differ in everything. There are people that when they drink an alcohol, they became Tiger in bed. I am an example.

Sexual health is quite an overall health. Most men jeopardise their sex stamina especially when they were young. Then, just to impress a lady, they were drinking all sorts of concoctions.

With good fruits, food, exercise, your husband can improve in bed. In another case, I would like to use this opportunity to advise me. Marrying a girl at a very young age has it Ill effects.

22 who married someone twice her age?

This is partly why older ladies caution young lasses of older men, while ensuring the major reason a young lass should marry an older man is financial. This man does not have money. That is the core problem.

This is also why it is good for a man to marry early, preferably before his late 30s and early forties, and for men with less financial means, marry ladies in their late 20s and early 30s. If you must marry such a young lass (below 25), please have money and be physically fit.

Mikocake:
I’m having the feeling that Op feels the husband deprived her of her youthful life by marrying her off @22, but my sister let me tell you the truth, nothing dey street oo. I don’t know who might be advising or influencing you to feel inadequate in your marriage but there are no perfect marriage anywhere. I’ve seen cases like this and the women always turn bitter after leaving their husbands because they realize there’s no love in the street. Don’t leave your home to turn sidechick to someone’s else husband oo. All the problems you listed about your husband can be worked on. I think his inability in bed can be attributed to his habit of drinking alcohol which when cut out or reduced, will get better. If his father is still alive, talk to him about the situation or a male figure that he respects. And remember, please don’t cheat on him cuz once you do, kiss your marriage goodbye. Men who don’t cheat hardly forgive cheating oo

I think we should focus on the older men who don't pay attention to their physical and mental health before getting a 22-year-old as a wife. We live in a social media age characterised by fast-moving videos and numerous content creators, far more than a decade ago. With this, young people can be easily impressed by what they see online. So, warning her not to cheat is not realistic. If she wants to, she will do it. The avenues to do so these days are a dime and a dozen.

How do you motivate a 45-year-old man to make the most of his life? This one is beyond you, my dear. You may have to think of leaving, because bringing others to speak to him may not have any positive effect. Moreover, he is killing his liver with alcohol as well and gambling away his family's future, so sad. But if you must help him, get external help; you cant do it alone.

Best advice... Please go with this and thank me later, let him reduce alcohol, alcohol kills libido, plus his age, he should be taking testerones boosters. And a lot of watermelon and banana instead. Stick to your marriage pls and don't cheat please.

Mikocake:
I’m having the feeling that Op feels the husband deprived her of her youthful life by marrying her off @22, but my sister let me tell you the truth, nothing dey street oo. I don’t know who might be advising or influencing you to feel inadequate in your marriage but there are no perfect marriage anywhere. I’ve seen cases like this and the women always turn bitter after leaving their husbands because they realize there’s no love in the street. Don’t leave your home to turn sidechick to someone’s else husband oo. All the problems you listed about your husband can be worked on. I think his inability in bed can be attributed to his habit of drinking alcohol which when cut out or reduced, will get better. If his father is still alive, talk to him about the situation or a male figure that he respects. And remember, please don’t cheat on him cuz once you do, kiss your marriage goodbye. Men who don’t cheat hardly forgive cheating oo

Originalsly:
Before accusing others of posting rubbish.... what have you with medical knowledge posted? Just look at the bolded. Don't you know many guys not yet 40 are impotent? ... dead? ... with almost zero possiblity of ever being resurrected?

An empty barrel makes the most noise

The point is, your comment makes his sexual inactivity purely age related which is completely nonsensical for a healthy 45yrold man! You talk like the moment a man hits 45yrs, he's no longer sexually fit and becomes sexually incompatible with a woman of 25yrs which is complete balderdash and only proves sheer ignorance on your part. Even a 50yrold is still sexually fit and might perform way better sexually than a 35 or 40yrold man depending on several factors. The above man's problems are obviously multifactorial including heavy alcohol intake, lack of exercise, stress related (he's probably hustling too much to make ends meet) etc but certainly not his age. And like someone rightly pointed out, when you get married, over time sex no longer becomes a priority because other factors like the kids etc come into the picture. The woman's problem is obviously not the sex. She just feels she is missing out on the best funs of her youth and needs that freedom outside marriage like her unmarried peers

Gerrard59:
I think we should focus on the older men who don't pay attention to their physical and mental health before getting a 22-year-old as a wife. We live in a social media age characterised by fast-moving videos and numerous content creators, far more than a decade ago. With this, young people can be easily impressed by what they see online. So, warning her not to cheat is not realistic. If she wants to, she will do it. The avenues to do so these days are a dime and a dozen.

When we tell them these things they think we are jealous, but for the first time in my life I have become genuinely concerned at the number of YOUNG single mothers. Many didn't have these kids out of wedlock, they married, had kids and came out. Anyone that visits FB and TikTok knows what I am talking about. I saw one yesterday, 21yo SM of 2. Her username is "Peace Real Time". How are you a mother of 2 toddlers at 21, let alone a SM of 2?

If you have to marry a small girl half your age, ensure you remain at your A-game physically, sexually and financially. There is so much aesthetic marriages online for them to watch and feel you are not treating them well. Some will have friends marry later to younger, finer and maybe richer men. She will start wondering where she was rushing to with you. It is even worse if she has never experienced comfort herself.

pocohantas:
When we tell them these things they think we are jealous, but for the first time in my life I have become genuinely concerned at the number of YOUNG single mothers. Many didn't have these kids out of wedlock, they married, had kids and came out. Anyone that visits FB and TikTok knows what I am talking about. I saw one yesterday, 21yo SM of 2. Her username is "Peace Real Time". How are you a mother of 2 toddlers at 21, let alone a SM of 2?

If you have to marry a small girl half your age, ensure you remain at your A-game physically, sexually and financially. There is so much aesthetic marriages online for them to watch and feel you are not treating them well. Some will have friends marry later to younger, finer and maybe richer men. She will start wondering where she was rushing to with you. It is even worse if she has never experienced comfort herself.

I think yahoo boy proliferation has a lot to do with it.

You marry for money now. Why complain again

You cannot get full 100% anywhere. Good that you have identified the areas that he is good. Focus on his best side and work on the weaknesses. His major issue is not able to satisfy you so pray and seek advice on how he will remove his mind from drinking which can lead to weak erection. Contact medical doctor on advise. He need to also be focus on his finances.

ZaddyJ:
Omg! Did you discuss this with any older person in his family if he can be called to order?

I did but he is still adamant, especially the gambling aspect

SpencerForbes:
I get the feeling he didn’t really satisfy you from day one. What was the plan back then—were you just looking to get married and hope for the best?

Did he just start acting this way, or did you notice the red flags early and choose to look the other way? Maybe you even had an exit strategy that didn't go as planned?

You are right
I married him as a virgin. After giving birth, I wasn’t satisfied anymore, my sex drive increased.
I loved his personality and was ready to build a life with him. Even though my family was completely against the relationship, I chose to believe in him and hope for the best. Over the years, I realized he became too comfortable with his situation and stopped pushing himself to grow. Whenever I tried to advise him, he dismissed me he sees me like a small girl instead of a partner

When a woman wants to leave a marriage, everything a man does and does not do is wrong AND she becomes a perfect human being with NO shortcomings whatsoever!
Men never consider leaving a marriage as the first option when they are not happy and IT IS VERY EASY TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY, but a woman would destroy everything and everybody in the marriage because "SHE US NOT HAPPY" and even God does does not know what makes her happy.
She certainly does not even know what makes her happy.

On second thought, men must avoid a woman that has tasted many dicks because her husband's dick will cease to satisfy her when she is craving for an external dick.

Now, who is that one person that has convinced all women that ALL PUSSIES ARE GOOD AND THAT THEY ALL SATISFY ALL MEN, AT ALL TIMES ON BED?

Some toto be like expired akpu with fish and gutter stench but men manage it without ever complaning in the interest of peace.
How borehole toto wey dem don use buy bonestraight, car and paid for vacation go satisfy man? But men still chest the nonsense without coming on social media to complain.

Na God go help men!!!

Cherryediva:
Hello everyone, sorry for the long post
I got married at 22, my husband was 40 at the time. We have been married for 5 years and we have a child together.

My concern is that my husband is not able to satisfy me sexually at all, which is frustrating, I have talked to him about it nothing seems to change. Financially, he is struggling, partly because he gambles a lot. He also drinks alcohol heavily.

I work too but he doesn't want me to have my own money he is always collecting money from me.
He doesn’t have clear goals, ambition, or a vision for the future, and this makes me feel stagnant in the marriage.

He is a good man in terms of character. He doesn’t cheat, he doesn’t abuse me at all, and he treats me well overall.

I’m confused because while he is good to me, I feel stuck and unfulfilled. I would really appreciate advice from y'all who have been in similar situations or who can offer honest guidance.
Thank you.

Google Image

You are giving your money t0 a hu$band 0ld en0ugh to be your father, despite knowing that a husband is a provider?

You are his enabler, because if you keep your money away from him, he would begin to see a need to quit his addictions.

Y0u will dr0wn with him in p0verty, it's only a matter of time.

Lucky you don't have more children, when you have more babies you will understand the situation better.

Cherryediva:
You are right
I married him as a virgin. After giving birth, I wasn’t satisfied anymore, my sex drive increased.
I loved his personality and was ready to build a life with him. Even though my family was completely against the relationship, I chose to believe in him and hope for the best.
✓ Over the years, I realized he became too comfortable with his situation and stopped pushing himself to grow. Whenever I tried to advise him, he dismissed me he sees me like a small girl instead of a partner

You believed in the delusions you created in your head of him and not in his reality. Now, you have has to experience reality, I hope you now see why it was a very terrible idea that you fell for his lies the way you did. 🤔

2. Wrong! He didn't become too comfortable...that comfort, he already has long before he met you. He performed the much he could in order to get and trap you with him. He has to work hard since your family was against you being with him. Now that he is sure he has you and his hands on your money,he no longer has incentive to continue performing for you. 🤔

You are likely less than half as cunning as he is... remember that. He has lived this two times your lifetime and has likely learned so much more manipulation tactics than you have been able to wrap your mind around in the few years you have been here. 🤔

A 45-year-old man is not a child or your toy. 🤔

Emmanuel30a:
Did you think we on naira land are more knowledgeable and wiser than you, that's why you are asking for our advice...?

No one is an island of knowledge. I want advice from people who have more experience than me.

GloriousGbola:
I think yahoo boy proliferation has a lot to do with it.

Could be, but some of them look decent and clueless. They don't look like pablets at all.

God bless you bro

Mikocake:
I’m having the feeling that Op feels the husband deprived her of her youthful life by marrying her off @22, but my sister let me tell you the truth, nothing dey street oo. I don’t know who might be advising or influencing you to feel inadequate in your marriage but there are no perfect marriage anywhere. I’ve seen cases like this and the women always turn bitter after leaving their husbands because they realize there’s no love in the street. Don’t leave your home to turn sidechick to someone’s else husband oo. All the problems you listed about your husband can be worked on. I think his inability in bed can be attributed to his habit of drinking alcohol which when cut out or reduced, will get better. If his father is still alive, talk to him about the situation or a male figure that he respects. And remember, please don’t cheat on him cuz once you do, kiss your marriage goodbye. Men who don’t cheat hardly forgive cheating oo

School has resumed , House rent is there , Other expenses are there . How una take Dey wet this period or even get erection at all? Una Dey try oh

Cherryediva:
No one is an island of knowledge. I want advice from people who have more experience than me.

Is that how it is with all women...? By the way, can fasting and prayers solve your problem...? If not, you can also seeks a doctor...

Kobicove:
He does not beat you, he does not cheat on you, he does not abuse you emotionally...

There in nothing here to suggest your marriage is falling apart.

The real issue you have is the fact that your husband does not have money

well said!!!

Kobojunkie:
A 40-year-old man fighting demons he was not able to overcome before marriage to a 22-year-old girl. And now you want this woman to, after 5 years of waiting in vain, continue to wait in vain for even more years of her life? He is 45 now and still hasn't just quit drinking habits and become that uptight man, but you want this young lady to continue future-faking herself by staying with him?

If this were your daughter or your sister, would you give her this same advice? 🥱🥱

Smiles...I could have yawned at your response,but it's ur view anyways..

Why not rather dish your advice to her instead?lol

drstranged:
The point is, your comment makes his sexual inactivity purely age related which is completely nonsensical for a healthy 45yrold man! You talk like the moment a man hits 45yrs, he's no longer sexually fit and becomes sexually incompatible with a woman of 25yrs which is complete balderdash and only proves sheer ignorance on your part. Even a 50yrold is still sexually fit and might perform way better sexually than a 35 or 40yrold man depending on several factors. The above man's problems are obviously multifactorial including heavy alcohol intake, lack of exercise, stress related (he's probably hustling too much to make ends meet) etc but certainly not his age. And like someone rightly pointed out, when you get married, over time sex no longer becomes a priority because other factors like the kids etc come into the picture. The woman's problem is obviously not the sex. She just feels she is missing out on the best funs of her youth and needs that freedom outside marriage like her unmarried peers

At 45 a man has already passed his natural sexual prime. What is nonsensical about that? It is nonsensical for you to interpret that to mean a man can no longer have sex after 45 ..he becomes impotent. A man can become impotent even in his 20's ... age is not the only factor that affects one's sexual performance and can lead to impotence. So if he the husband ...this particular man is not performing.... we know he's 45 .... for sure ...age is a factor ...not the factor ...but a factor. ...lower testosterone level. Alcohol is likely another factor ...not necessarily. His mindset can be major...even in a young healthy man. If the fear factor pops up mentally.... it can shut down his ability to perform. She already told him he's not moving the needle ... even if he ha something in store for her...the thought of not moving the needle will shut it down. Bottom line .... at 45 ...a man has passed his peak period .

Cherryediva:
Hello everyone, sorry for the long post
I got married at 22, my husband was 40 at the time. We have been married for 5 years and we have a child together.

My concern is that my husband is not able to satisfy me sexually at all, which is frustrating, I have talked to him about it nothing seems to change. Financially, he is struggling, partly because he gambles a lot. He also drinks alcohol heavily.

I work too but he doesn't want me to have my own money he is always collecting money from me.
He doesn’t have clear goals, ambition, or a vision for the future, and this makes me feel stagnant in the marriage.

He is a good man in terms of character. He doesn’t cheat, he doesn’t abuse me at all, and he treats me well overall.

I’m confused because while he is good to me, I feel stuck and unfulfilled. I would really appreciate advice from y'all who have been in similar situations or who can offer honest guidance.
Thank you.

Google Image

You didn't see all these before you got married to him? You don't enter marriage and begin to complain about your spouse. Just go down on your knees and pray for him and bear that cross until something change in him. And note all the those activities and conditions your hubby is also contribute to his performance.

ned009:
✓ Smiles...I could have yawned at your response,but it's ur view anyways..
Why not rather dish your advice to her instead?lol

My advice is to her telling her she hitched her youth, dreams and the future of her children to a man who already decided before age 40(now 45) to be a loser in life. Why didn't or couldn' you get that? 🤔

Cherryediva:
Hello everyone, sorry for the long post
I got married at 22, my husband was 40 at the time. We have been married for 5 years and we have a child together.

My concern is that my husband is not able to satisfy me sexually at all, which is frustrating, I have talked to him about it nothing seems to change. Financially, he is struggling, partly because he gambles a lot. He also drinks alcohol heavily.

I work too but he doesn't want me to have my own money he is always collecting money from me.
He doesn’t have clear goals, ambition, or a vision for the future, and this makes me feel stagnant in the marriage.

He is a good man in terms of character. He doesn’t cheat, he doesn’t abuse me at all, and he treats me well overall.

I’m confused because while he is good to me, I feel stuck and unfulfilled. I would really appreciate advice from y'all who have been in similar situations or who can offer honest guidance.
Thank you.

Google Image

Sorry ooo.If you fit dey come say hi to me every Friday no problem.

inforesource:
You didn't see all these before you got married to him? You don't enter marriage and begin to complain about your spouse. Just go down on your knees and pray for him and bear that cross until something change in him. And note all the those activities and conditions your hubby is also contribute to his performance.

Crazy peepo. How many of you wey don dey go down on your knees since these pastors began their experience around the 1970s don see your prayers answered? Nonsense! 🥱🥱🥱

Kobicove:
He does not beat you, he does not cheat on you, he does not abuse you emotionally...

There in nothing here to suggest your marriage is falling apart.

The real issue you have is the fact that your husband does not have money

Most reasonable men won't even have an election if they are struggling financially.

BigYash:
How you want make he satisfy you at that age nau? Madam you have to put somethings in place to make that up o. There is a reason why sex experts put toys dia o. I don't advice cheating on your husband,but toys can help him improve. Age affects sexual performances for men. The gap was too much,so you have to hear the consequences. People when say 5years gap maximum get reason.

I don't even think it's the age factor most men who are struggling financially don't find sex all that appealing because of of too much worries in their minds.