₦airaland Forum

Melancho:
I stopped reading at the part that his wife always lock him out from his house. That's first problem, some men are just weak. Simple.

He's not weak, it's in the UK and not Nigeria.

If you have married men in the UK, ask their story, and you'll see the similarities.

Abbeytoy:
➜My fear too

Your family should try to maintain contact with the woman and the child. Not on behalf of your brother, but the fact that the child is blood. Call him often and talk to him as often as possible, doing your best to provide for him when possible. That way, even if the woman thinks of giving him up for adoption, she would let you all know out of courtesy.

Kobojunkie:
Your family should try to maintain contact with the woman and the child. Not on behalf of your brother, but the fact that the child is blood. Call him often and talk to him as often as possible, doing your best to provide for him when possible. That way, even if the woman thinks of giving him up for adoption, she would let you all know out of courtesy.

They're in UK

Abbeytoy:
➜They're in UK

I know, so you have your work cut out for you. It is sad! 🥱🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
I know, so you have your work cut out for you. It is sad! 🥱🥱🥱

I don't understand please

Abbeytoy:
➜I don't understand please

I mean that the fact they are in the UK should not stop you from keeping in touch with the woman and the child, so you can at least probably be contacted by her if things change regarding her caring for the child.🥱

Kobojunkie:
I mean that the fact they are in the UK should not stop you from keeping in touch with the woman and the child, so you can at least probably be contacted by her if things change regarding her caring for the child.🥱

Ok. Thanks

Ok. I understand. Didn't finish the whole story as I mentioned. Trust me, most Naija women abroad will do the same thing.

Abbeytoy:
He's not weak, it's in the UK and not Nigeria.

If you have married men in the UK, ask their story, and you'll see the similarities.

Man prioritizing deficiency over progeny. Biology’s greatest joke is humans Pretending they’re above base instincts. Kid’s probably better off. Less chance of Inheriting his father’s spinelessness.

Let your brother be. He needs to find a new life and get settled. He is going through excruciating trauma marrying the wrong wife. As for the child, he will come back for him. But for now, his sanity is paramount.

Don't push your brother to his early grave because of a woman who obviously wants to ruin your brother. Leave him alone , he wears the shoe and know where it pinches . Stop painting ur him black.

Your hand break? Them dey forbid taking care of niblings for your village? Your brother has abandoned his post. Take it up.

So, if he dies now, this is how you will abandon his children?

Abbeytoy:
In the last two years, things have not been going well with my brother and his wife. My brother will call me and lament about his wife's behaviour, he told me that anytime they have a misunderstanding, this lady changes the key and locks him out in the cold. Though he's the one who pays the rent and all the bills, the lady gets child support and spends lavishly on unnecessary things while the apartment is given to his wife by the government.

But the last one she did, my brother left the house and swore never to have anything to do with her again. Even my brother did it to the extent that he requested the DNA of the son; unfortunately, he's the owner.

This lady has been begging everyone, and both her parents and some family members have travelled down to our place to plead on her behalf, but my brother insisted he's not interested in the marriage again.

He was scouting with one of our cousins before, and we thought that when he got tired, he'd move back home as usual, but this man has gotten an apartment and does not let anyone know the location.

The worst of it all is that he did not talk to his 7-year-old son and didn't take on any responsibilities for him again.

The boy keeps crying to see his dad, but my brother keeps saying her mother is only using him to get his attention, saying the boy will see him when it's the right time.

This lady called me last week and said he wanted to pack from the house and my brother should come move all his belongings, but my brother sent me back to her that she should throw everything away, he mentioned that the lady can frame him up or call the police for him and turn to legal battles.

I believe whatever happened between them, the boy did not cause it, and cutting off his only child emotionally and financially is not self-protection but abandonment.

I know marriage can end, but fatherhood should not. You can abandon marriage and still fully show up as a father. The two are not the same contract

All the family are tired, and even I, his closest brother, am tired. I only want him to be a responsible dad to his only child.

Please, what can I do? I really love my brother and want peace for him, however I pity his child.

meobizy:
Your hand break? Them dey forbid taking care of niblings for your village? Your brother has abandoned his post. Take it up.

So, if he dies now, this is how you will abandon his children?

Why are you frustrated? I have my bills to pay too, and I am in Nigeria, not in the UK, with them.

Face your matter and leave them alone. They will be all right, last last.

Abbeytoy:
Why are you frustrated? I have my bills to pay too, and I am in Nigeria, not in the UK, with them.

meobizy:
Face your matter and leave them alone. They will be all right, last last.

But they both run to me, even as a very small boy, to them.

I had to ask for help when I got confused too

Fake.

One minute, you sounded like it was abroad, next you sound like it is in Nigeria.

My advice? Get the boy away from his mother so she doesn't poison his mind about his father. You can give the boy to your mum and let your brother know what you've done. I think from there he'll come pick his child or start supporting him again. He till feels his ex-wife is trying to use his son to draw him back to the marriage, hence, his reluctance to expose his current location. Who don faint before no be stranger to death. He may not know other deeper things that guy went through in that marriage. Marriage these days na something else. I know of a pastor that faces this same issue with his wife, but he can't leave the marriage because of what people will say(may be because of his title). He smiles and plays when you see him outside, but at home....HELL from his Lucifer wife...

CandyOps:
Collateral damage

Tomorrow if the child grows up and considers his father "A collateral damage" you will jump and blame the woman and accuse her of poisoning the mind of the child against his father.

Majority of men hate their children but they will never admit it, you will realize this whenever divorce occurs.

“Them no dey put mouth for husband and…” Complete the saying and you have your answer there.

Abbeytoy:
But they both run to me, even as a very small boy, to them.

I had to ask for help when I got confused too

I noticed this too. I have excess time on my hands so I can engage OP.

Dtruthspeaker:
Fake.

One minute, you sounded like it was abroad, next you sound like it is in Nigeria.

Abbeytoy:
In the last two years, things have not been going well with my brother and his wife. My brother will call me and lament about his wife's behaviour, he told me that anytime they have a misunderstanding, this lady changes the key and locks him out in the cold. Though he's the one who pays the rent and all the bills, the lady gets child support and spends lavishly on unnecessary things while the apartment is given to his wife by the government.

But the last one she did, my brother left the house and swore never to have anything to do with her again. Even my brother did it to the extent that he requested the DNA of the son; unfortunately, he's the owner.

This lady has been begging everyone, and both her parents and some family members have travelled down to our place to plead on her behalf, but my brother insisted he's not interested in the marriage again.

He was scouting with one of our cousins before, and we thought that when he got tired, he'd move back home as usual, but this man has gotten an apartment and does not let anyone know the location.

The worst of it all is that he did not talk to his 7-year-old son and didn't take on any responsibilities for him again.

The boy keeps crying to see his dad, but my brother keeps saying her mother is only using him to get his attention, saying the boy will see him when it's the right time.

This lady called me last week and said he wanted to pack from the house and my brother should come move all his belongings, but my brother sent me back to her that she should throw everything away, he mentioned that the lady can frame him up or call the police for him and turn to legal battles.

I believe whatever happened between them, the boy did not cause it, and cutting off his only child emotionally and financially is not self-protection but abandonment.

I know marriage can end, but fatherhood should not. You can abandon marriage and still fully show up as a father. The two are not the same contract

All the family are tired, and even I, his closest brother, am tired. I only want him to be a responsible dad to his only child.

Please, what can I do? I really love my brother and want peace for him, however I pity his child.

Yes! One can abandon a marriage ant still be fully responsible for his child. So let the wife send the child to his father to take full responsibility. A 7year old child can be with his father.

kingthreat:
Let your brother be. He needs to find a new life and get settled. He is going through excruciating trauma marrying the wrong wife. As for the child, he will come back for him. But for now, his sanity is paramount.

So the child can grow in trauma while the deadbeat dad looks for sanity

Men want kids but hate to take care of them.

I don't know what is wrong with some people.
This matter shouldn't have been brought here.
Since he's concerned about the child, he should go ahead and take care of him.
Simple!

Abbeytoy:
It happens in the UK, yes, they're staying in a government house, but pay the house rent, the difference is that it will be smaller than the other non-government housing. But my brother pays all the bills. Even the lady confirmed it and she claimed she'll suffer for the rest of her life for losing her caring man

The marriage is not legal over there though. They're just staying as partners. You know how the runs it over there na.

1. Always avoid that guy he argue from opposite direction 98% of the time without addressing the main issue.

2. we all know government can allocate house to you in the UK and you will be paying mortgage until the house become yours , but your brother is traceable with his bank account operation in the UK but then A man need peace to function well.

3. It’s a dicey situation

Abbeytoy:
In the last two years, things have not been going well with my brother and his wife. My brother will call me and lament about his wife's behaviour, he told me that anytime they have a misunderstanding, this lady changes the key and locks him out in the cold. Though he's the one who pays the rent and all the bills, the lady gets child support and spends lavishly on unnecessary things while the apartment is given to his wife by the government.

But the last one she did, my brother left the house and swore never to have anything to do with her again. Even my brother did it to the extent that he requested the DNA of the son; unfortunately, he's the owner.

This lady has been begging everyone, and both her parents and some family members have travelled down to our place to plead on her behalf, but my brother insisted he's not interested in the marriage again.

He was scouting with one of our cousins before, and we thought that when he got tired, he'd move back home as usual, but this man has gotten an apartment and does not let anyone know the location.

The worst of it all is that he did not talk to his 7-year-old son and didn't take on any responsibilities for him again.

The boy keeps crying to see his dad, but my brother keeps saying her mother is only using him to get his attention, saying the boy will see him when it's the right time.

This lady called me last week and said he wanted to pack from the house and my brother should come move all his belongings, but my brother sent me back to her that she should throw everything away, he mentioned that the lady can frame him up or call the police for him and turn to legal battles.

I believe whatever happened between them, the boy did not cause it, and cutting off his only child emotionally and financially is not self-protection but abandonment.

I know marriage can end, but fatherhood should not. You can abandon marriage and still fully show up as a father. The two are not the same contract

All the family are tired, and even I, his closest brother, am tired. I only want him to be a responsible dad to his only child.

Please, what can I do? I really love my brother and want peace for him, however I pity his child.

Leave your brother ohhh, the lady fit frame am true true, wahala don start B dat

When she was locking him out in the cold, what was she thinking of?

Abbeytoy:
It happens in the UK, yes, they're staying in a government house, but pay the house rent, the difference is that it will be smaller than the other non-government housing. But my brother pays all the bills. Even the lady confirmed it and she claimed she'll suffer for the rest of her life for losing her caring man

The marriage is not legal over there though. They're just staying as partners. You know how the runs it over there na.

Your bro don find another banny

The same thing your brother do naim I for do.

DeGLORIOUS:
When she was locking him out in the cold, what was she thinking of?

I wonder o

Kobojunkie:
How would she get in trouble?

Probably telling some fibs to get government assistance. She'd expose those lies if she reports the correct situation. Had a relative have the same thing happen. The woman refused to get married to him so she could keep getting those benefits for their child.

There's danger outside. If you lock your partner outside, you are essentially trying to kill them.

That's not love.