₦airaland Forum

erico2k2:
Leave your brother ohhh, the lady fit frame am true true, wahala don start B dat

It's well

Abbeytoy:
In the last two years, things have not been going well with my brother and his wife. My brother will call me and lament about his wife's behaviour, he told me that anytime they have a misunderstanding, this lady changes the key and locks him out in the cold. Though he's the one who pays the rent and all the bills, the lady gets child support and spends lavishly on unnecessary things while the apartment is given to his wife by the government.

But the last one she did, my brother left the house and swore never to have anything to do with her again. Even my brother did it to the extent that he requested the DNA of the son; unfortunately, he's the owner.

This lady has been begging everyone, and both her parents and some family members have travelled down to our place to plead on her behalf, but my brother insisted he's not interested in the marriage again.

He was scouting with one of our cousins before, and we thought that when he got tired, he'd move back home as usual, but this man has gotten an apartment and does not let anyone know the location.

The worst of it all is that he did not talk to his 7-year-old son and didn't take on any responsibilities for him again.

The boy keeps crying to see his dad, but my brother keeps saying her mother is only using him to get his attention, saying the boy will see him when it's the right time.

This lady called me last week and said he wanted to pack from the house and my brother should come move all his belongings, but my brother sent me back to her that she should throw everything away, he mentioned that the lady can frame him up or call the police for him and turn to legal battles.

I believe whatever happened between them, the boy did not cause it, and cutting off his only child emotionally and financially is not self-protection but abandonment.

I know marriage can end, but fatherhood should not. You can abandon marriage and still fully show up as a father. The two are not the same contract

All the family are tired, and even I, his closest brother, am tired. I only want him to be a responsible dad to his only child.

Please, what can I do? I really love my brother and want peace for him, however I pity his child.

BTW, can someone determine the actual gender of this child?

When you all want to crucify a woman, you'll tell us the same story: man pays all the bills, blah blah blah, but emphasis on he pays all the bills. Is it something they teach you guys in the school of female crucifixion? What was a family man supposed to do anyway, that you guys like telling us this line? If he doesn't pay the bills, who should— her parents? Her ex boyfriend? Her family??

Strungup78 comes to mind.

Until we hear from this woman, nobody can give any real advice. Especially not with the "he pays all the bills" line intended to destroy women.

"better to sleep on the corner of the roof than to share the house with a nagging wife"
Proverbs 21:9

Your brother is a wise man..

meobizy:
I noticed this too. I have excess time on my hands so I can engage OP.

babakb:
Tomorrow if the child grows up and considers his father "A collateral damage" you will jump and blame the woman and accuse her of poisoning the mind of the child against his father.

Majority of men hate their children but they will never admit it, you will realize this whenever divorce occurs.

You've pretty much said it all.

If she gives him the child to care for, he will find a way to dump it on his mother or any other female family member. Or the evil step mother. Most men aren't interested in their children's upbringing, save a few.

Kobojunkie:
This story get giant k-leg. How come your brother dey pay rent and all yet na government give them apartment and your brother pays child support ? Where in the world is this? 🥱🥱

The marriage should rightly end but since government no dey sleep for where dem dey, demand the woman go straight and ensure she file for divorce from the man in courts and ask that child support payments should be reviewed so that she can get more from your brother in the event that she is to raise the child all by herself and case closed. 🥱🥱🥱

As for the child, the woman should set him up to receive therapy and try her best to get him to accept what has happened now that he is still young and can maybe handle it much better. One thing she should absolutely never do is lie to him about the circumstances that led to the man also abandoning him. He gains more from knowing the truth and not having to have his brain diddle with lies for a long to only for him to be shattered later by the truth. 😩😩😩

LOL.

The more you look, the less you see.

The guy "pays all the bills" though.

You people should leave that man alone he has tried. The child will look for him (or not, nobody cares) when the time is right. Women are soooo wicked if you give them the leg. I won't say more than this.


If you know you know...

Melancho:
I stopped reading at the part that his wife always lock him out from his house. That's first problem, some men are just weak. Simple.

You can't do anything in the West or you want him to burn down the house?

Abbeytoy:
In the last two years, things have not been going well with my brother and his wife. My brother will call me and lament about his wife's behaviour, he told me that anytime they have a misunderstanding, this lady changes the key and locks him out in the cold. Though he's the one who pays the rent and all the bills, the lady gets child support and spends lavishly on unnecessary things while the apartment is given to his wife by the government.

But the last one she did, my brother left the house and swore never to have anything to do with her again. Even my brother did it to the extent that he requested the DNA of the son; unfortunately, he's the owner.

This lady has been begging everyone, and both her parents and some family members have travelled down to our place to plead on her behalf, but my brother insisted he's not interested in the marriage again.

He was scouting with one of our cousins before, and we thought that when he got tired, he'd move back home as usual, but this man has gotten an apartment and does not let anyone know the location.

The worst of it all is that he did not talk to his 7-year-old son and didn't take on any responsibilities for him again.

The boy keeps crying to see his dad, but my brother keeps saying her mother is only using him to get his attention, saying the boy will see him when it's the right time.

This lady called me last week and said he wanted to pack from the house and my brother should come move all his belongings, but my brother sent me back to her that she should throw everything away, he mentioned that the lady can frame him up or call the police for him and turn to legal battles.

I believe whatever happened between them, the boy did not cause it, and cutting off his only child emotionally and financially is not self-protection but abandonment.

I know marriage can end, but fatherhood should not. You can abandon marriage and still fully show up as a father. The two are not the same contract

All the family are tired, and even I, his closest brother, am tired. I only want him to be a responsible dad to his only child.

Please, what can I do? I really love my brother and want peace for him, however I pity his child.

Your brother better go back, if a women in this situation is asking family members to intervene it shows a good wife and not totally bad, the reason why she did those things could be she wants your brother to be serious .
If he fall in the hand of another woman he would know this women is a cent. He better be careful and not let pride finish him later and it would be too late

I feel his lifestyle is contributing to this issue.

For better for worse!

BRATISLAVA:
BTW, can someone determine the actual gender of this child?

When you all want to crucify a woman, you'll tell us the same story: man pays all the bills, blah blah blah, but emphasis on he pays all the bills. Is it something they teach you guys in the school of female crucifixion? What was a family man supposed to do anyway, that you guys like telling us this line? If he doesn't pay the bills, who should— her parents? Her ex boyfriend? Her family??

Strungup78 comes to mind.

Until we hear from this woman, nobody can give any real advice. Especially not with the "he pays all the bills" line intended to destroy women.

Don't try to be smart by half...

I am not really interested in thier issue and I never blame the wife in the narration. All I want is how to convince him not to abandon his son.

Kobojunkie:
How would she get in trouble?

Did you not see where he said the government must never know she has a husband?

Dtruthspeaker:
Fake.

One minute, you sounded like it was abroad; next, you sound like it is in Nigeria.

Read very well to understand and not to comment.

Josywhyte:
My advice? Get the boy away from his mother so she doesn't poison his mind about his father. You can give the boy to your mum and let your brother know what you've done. I think from there he'll come pick his child or start supporting him again. He till feels his ex-wife is trying to use his son to draw him back to the marriage, hence, his reluctance to expose his current location. Who don faint before no be stranger to death. He may not know other deeper things that guy went through in that marriage. Marriage these days na something else. I know of a pastor that faces this same issue with his wife, but he can't leave the marriage because of what people will say(may be because of his title). He smiles and plays when you see him outside, but at home....HELL from his Lucifer wife...

They're in UK, we're in Nigeria

He must have been through HELL. Would you rather your brother commits suicide? God forbid, I guess. Some women are more deadly than poison in marriage. Men are psychologically wired to endure or tolerate. When they finally explore, they react differently. MY ADVICE: Just provide some psychological/emotional support to him. i feel he needs some re-assurance. He will snap out of it (If you can, step in to do daddy role to his son, he will surely come by- he needs to fix himself from too much toxicity from his spouse). If you can(again) arrange to bring his son to his hideout(new accommodation). I wish y'all well.

tgmservice:
Your bro don find another banny

He doesn't Keep ladies, just like me.

doncartel:
The same thing your brother do naim I for do.

Hmmm.

LordReed:
Probably telling some fibs to get government assistance. She'd expose those lies if she reports the correct situation. Had a relative have the same thing happen. The woman refused to get married to him so she could keep getting those benefits for their child.

Only those in the situation understand better.

kwaso2:
He must have been through HELL. Would you rather your brother commits suicide? God forbid, I guess. Some women are more deadly than poison in marriage. Men are psychologically wired to endure or tolerate. When they finally explore, they react differently. MY ADVICE: Just provide some psychological/emotional support to him. i feel he needs some re-assurance. He will snap out of it (If you can, step in to do daddy role to his son, he will surely come by- he needs to fix himself from too much toxicity from his spouse). If you can(again) arrange to bring his son to his hideout(new accommodation). I wish y'all well.

They're in UK, I am in Nigeria

Abbeytoy:
Read very well to understand and not to comment.

I understood that it is fake and I commented. And you have gotten the attention you aimed for

themanderon:
✓ Did you not see where he said the government must never know she has a husband?

Did you also not read where he is that the government knows them simply as partners. Partners can make a baby together. Having a single mother demand child support from her baby daddy does not reveal them as husband and wife. 🤔🤔

Dtruthspeaker:
I understood that it is fake and I commented. And you have gotten the attention you aimed for

Okay, thanks.

He should just file for a divorce, either they both have joint custody of their son or not let the courts decide.

CandyOps:
The best way to handle a woman’s eff up is to leave her. To walk away. Let her know she’s replaceable

LordReed:
✓ Probably telling some fibs to get government assistance. She'd expose those lies if she reports the correct situation. Had a relative have the same thing happen. The woman refused to get married to him so she could keep getting those benefits for their child.

Wat in the world? How big are those checks that people would prefer them to progress? 🤔

Kobojunkie:
Wat in the world? How big are those checks that people would prefer them to progress? 🤔

When you get there you'll understand

Abbeytoy:
✓ When you get there you'll understand

Sorry, but those sort of lies no be my thing. I am at least glad this one over here is finally cutting the purse strings of those on this side who have been taking advantage of the system for so long. 🥱🥱

I don't like it when able bodied individuals think it is OK to game the system while depriving so many others of the opportunity they deserve by it. Yes, there are probably some old folks eating cat food because they can't get money to eat from the same government. 🥱🥱🥱

Your story is prolly same with the one a lady uploaded yesterday..

Let your brother make his decisions, na only him know wetin him eye see for the sham of a marriage..

Las las, this generation of wokeism, ITK from women, with men allowing women to define who a "real man/intentional man" is will spell nothing but marital doom with everyone feeling the effect...

BRATISLAVA:
LOL.

The more you look, the less you see.

The guy "pays all the bills" though.

They always have to add that part.
Every man is paying all the bills online.

As for OP's brother, I had to go read his story well. He has to be responsible for the child. He might not see the child immediately until he is calm, but if indeed they had a bond, then he a phone call would suffice until tempers are calm to know what next.

Abbeytoy:
It happens in the UK, yes, they're staying in a government house, but pay the house rent, the difference is that it will be smaller than the other non-government housing. But my brother pays all the bills. Even the lady confirmed it and she claimed she'll suffer for the rest of her life for losing her caring man

The marriage is not legal over there though. They're just staying as partners. You know how they runs it over there na.

I put it to you that you are the one and should stop typing my brother my brother

BRATISLAVA:
LOL.
The more you look, the less you see.
The guy "pays all the bills" though.

Op later insists that the breakup was due to the woman refusing to give a portion of money she gets from the government with the man as if he deserved a share.🥱🥱🥱

My guess is the man may be off with another welfare maid somewhere else , repeating the same pattern, and not telling his family. Some habits are hard to break once one starts. 🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
Sorry, but those sort of lies no be my thing. I am at least glad this one over here is finally cutting the purse strings of those on this side who have been taking advantage of the system for so long. 🥱🥱

I don't like it when able bodied individuals think it is OK to game the system while depriving so many others of the opportunity they deserve by it. Yes, there are probably some old folks eating cat food because they can't get money to eat from the same government. 🥱🥱🥱

I insisted that you'll understand when you get there.

I know that about 70% of Nigerians over there are doing this.

I won't go to details make I no cast people hustling

Lamasta:
I put it to you that you are the one and should stop typing my brother my brother

I have never been to the UK. I pray I got there soon

Abbeytoy:
✓ I insisted that you'll understand when you get there.
I know that about 70% of Nigerians over there are doing this. I won't go to details make I no cast people hustling

I know about Nigerians on welfare in the UK, just that I didn't realize they get paid so well even there, too, to be in the system. 🥱🥱

Such shouldn't be the case. Welfare is not meant to provide luxury lifestyle to those on it. 🥱🥱🥱